My internal clock rang before Mum or Josh woke up, giving me time to get ready and slip out for school before I had to face either of them. I'd obviously be seeing Josh at school later, but at least it wouldn't be the usual two against one. This was a good opportunity for me to start the day on a slightly more positive note.

That positive note was that Liam and I had second class together, and I was surprised when he noticed me here for the first time. It almost seemed like he was looking for me when he turned his head from the front and glanced around the room. As soon as he caught a glimpse of me, he raised his hand in a wave and smiled. My face went feverishly hot when my heart short-circuited the entire blood flow straight to my head.

As soon as lunch time rolled around, I was straight into the locker room. Tristan briefly called me asking where I was, so I told him where I was, and that I was doing some extracurricular work. It wasn't a lie; it just wasn't my extracurricular work. Only ten minutes passed before the door opened and I heard Tristan calling my name. I popped my head around a tall stack of boxes to see Tristan glancing around at all the upheaval.

"Jeez, are you getting enough credit for this?" he asked in his thick Filipino accent.

I couldn't continue the lie, but I couldn't tell the truth either, so I just laughed in response.

"What are you up to?" I asked, changing the subject. "Here to help me finish all the rest of these?"

My question should've been an obvious joke, but Tristan took the checklist from my hands and scanned his gaze down the items of the list. His brows furrowed with concentration while I stood watching his reaction with anticipation.

"You don't do sports or P.E, so why are you doing this for extracurricular points?" he asked.

Tristan was far too observant for his own good.

"I can't do sports, but I can do checklists," I answered, taking the clipboard back from him.

We worked on the inventories together and managed to finish them so much faster than if I was on my own. It helped that he could reach all the higher boxes and place them back up high just as easily without me having to lug the stool around. That's where most of my struggles were this entire time. Almost thirty minutes into the break while Tristan was straightening up the top shelves, the door opened again. Tristan and I both watched Liam enter and look at us both with surprise.

"Didn't expect this," he said, breaking out into a smile. "Hi."

"Hi," I answered, unable to help from smiling back.

"Yo," Tristan said, putting his hand out. "I'm Tristan. Are you also getting extra points?"

"Also... what?" Liam asked, subtly glancing at me as if to ask for an explanation.

"Yes, he is," I answered quickly, nodding towards Liam. "How was your game?"

"I won you a few shots as promised," he grinned.

"Total?" I asked.

"Seven-four," he proudly answered.

"What game are we talking?" Tristan asked, placing the checklist down on top of a box.

Liam picked it up and checked our progress, nodding both his evident surprise and approval. "Soccer," he said.

"Oh, you're one of the dudes who plays on the field?" Tristan asked.

"Yeah, do you play?" Liam asked.

I listened to the two engaging in conversation as they became fast friends. Although it was good to see Tristan getting along with others besides me, their conversation continued so naturally without me that all I could do was stand here uselessly, like a piece of deadwood in the corner. Neither of them seemed to notice me withdrawing while their eyes lit from their mutual interest in soccer. I wanted to at least finish the work, but Liam was still holding the clipboard in his hands.

They were so engrossed in their chat that Liam probably wouldn't even notice if I just snuck it out from his hands. I knew for a fact that I could slip absolutely anything from my Mum's hands or arms while she was distracted talking for hours at church after service, so it was very plausible that Liam could be the same. I took two subtle steps forward and reached for the clipboard, but Liam noticed and froze midsentence to look at me as my fingers curled over his. Tristan looked at me too with a look of confusion.

"What're you doing?" Liam asked.

My hands retracted with lightning speed, and I stumbled back a few steps, accidentally hitting the boxes behind me. Both Liam and Tristan managed to reach and keep them from toppling down on and around me. I glanced behind each of my shoulders, thankful that they were now stable.

"Are you always this chaotic?" Liam asked with a grin. "You're not trying to finish the job, right? You've already done heaps, so I'll do the rest. It's only fair."

"No, it's fine," I answered, putting on a smile. "Really. You were both enjoying your conversation so you can carry on."

Liam looked momentarily taken aback, then gave Tristan a brief sideways glance. "You're right, it was a good conversation," he said, placing the clipboard down out of my reach then pulling his phone out from his trouser pocket. "Can I have your number, Tristan? We should play one-on-one sometimes."

"Sounds mad," Tristan grinned and pulled out his own.

I watched them exchange numbers before Liam turned and held his phone out towards me. "Yours too," he said.

"Mine?" I stared at his phone in his hands, then up at his face as he looked at me expectantly.

"I already got Tristan's," he chuckled. "So yes, yours."

My heart started to hammer as I slowly reached for his phone and awkwardly tapped in my details. When I handed back his phone, he looked down at the screen as if to verify what I'd written and smiled. He tapped, typed, and tapped again before I could hear my phone buzz from my school bag. We both glanced at it and he grinned.

"Thanks," he said.

"You probably haven't eaten yet, right?" Liam said. "You guys better go while I finish up here."

"I'm not really hungry..." I started, but Liam gave me a stern look. "O-okay."

"Later, bro," Tristan said as they clasped hands then walked out ahead of me.

Liam turned to look at me the very second Tristan was out the door. He picked up my bag and handed it to me, smiling widely. "I'll treat you sometime as thanks."

"You don't have to," I said, feeling miserable and pouty like an arrogant child. "I didn't even finish it like I promised. If you at least let me finish here with you, then I'll accept."

"Brave offer," he said. "Go eat."

He was really kicking me out! Realistically, I knew I was being a spoilt brat and I was positive that Liam was perfectly aware of it. Yet I couldn't help myself from trying one last time to stay by his side. "I'm not hungry," I murmured, although the very words brought my attention to the quiet rumbling of my stomach.

"For me then," he said with a subtle grin as he gently patted my cheek. "If not for you."

From the way he stood so close to me, I became increasingly aware of the height difference between us as I glanced up at him. His eyes were gentle but gazed down at me so intently, I thought my head would explode. This probably looked a little weird, right? God was always watching, and I didn't want him thinking I was doing anything suspicious... no matter what.

"I'll ah, I'll do that then," I said as I stepped back and put my arms through the bag straps. "Catch ya."

Was this what Mum really worried about? That I'd get myself into situations like this that didn't look right with God? But I wasn't gay. Being alone in a space with somebody I really admired shouldn't have been weird at all. God knew my heart, so why did I keep feeling like something was wrong? When I left the storage room, Tristan was standing outside the door leaning against the wall and looking down at his phone. He glanced at me as I came out the door and shoved his phone into his pocket. "Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Let's go."

We exited the gym and started walking towards the cafeteria, but Josh's voice reverberated across the courtyard. Underneath one of the pavilion dining areas was a large group of people that I presumed to be the Christian Club. I'd dreamed about joining it as soon as I graduated primary school, but I never considered that Josh might be in it, never mind its group leader. I didn't fit in with the church youth, and I didn't fit in with Josh's crowd.

Of course, he was an exemplary role model who was adored by his Christian friends, but they didn't know what a monster he really was. Or that I caught him finger-blasting a girl behind the mall dumpsters a few months back. Though I desperately wanted to belong to a group of likeminded people who believed in God and followed the word of Christ, I couldn't join because of him. Even if I'd told someone, who'd believe me?

One of his friends spotted me. She was a senior I recognised with curly brown hair not too different from mine, but maybe a little more well-kept. She'd probably be the best person to ask for hair advice. She may even have been the one I spotted him with behind the mall dumpsters. She stood up and waved before climbing over her seat to walk over to us.

"Hi Jude!" she greeted me with a big and excited smile. "I don't see you much. Did you feel like joining us for lunch today?"

I glanced over her shoulder and saw Josh standing up on the bench seat waving frantically at me, as if he was desperately excited for me to join them. It was a convincing act to the untrained eye. He'd probably swat the back of my head and empty my bag into the bin the minute somebody wasn't watching. It's like he was continuously out to get me.

"Thanks for the invite," I said, "But I'll have to decline."

"One of these days, we'll definitely win you over," she seemed to half joke. "It'd be awesome to have Josh Caster's brother join us!"

They were excited about my existence only because I was 'Josh's brother'. I rejected their advances time and time again, but they always persisted without fail. I wasn't like Josh. I didn't want to be an addition to him; an extension of him. I wanted nothing to do with him. The day I never saw him again would still be too soon.

"Have a good rest of your day and I'll see you around," she smiled both at me and Tristan, then started walking back to the group.

"Aw, come on!" Josh shouted, still standing up on the bench. "Boo! Come join us, little brother." The group laughed and cheered, waving excitedly as I walked off as fast as I could with Tristan following closely beside me.

"They're the biggest Bible thumpers in the school," Tristan said as soon as we were far enough away. "They're literally your kinds of people. Why don't you just hang with them?"

"Shut up," I muttered, quickening my pace.

"That wasn't very Godly of you," he joked, and I thumped his chest with the back of my hand. He laughed, enjoying teasing me and getting a rise out of me every time. When it came to friendships, beggars really couldn't be choosers. He hung with me because no one else would, not because he couldn't find cooler and more fun friends elsewhere. I didn't have the best social graces, but it never bothered Tristan in the least. I was way too lucky to have him on my side.

We spoke on the phone every night. We chatted as we played online games while Mum wasn't home or after she'd gone to sleep in the evening. We'd hang out on weekends and play basketball at the courts when there weren't too many people. He even came from a Christian family, so he was happy to come along to church with me occasionally if there was nothing better for him to do. Mum thought he was the next best thing since Jesus, Josh, or sliced bread. I was just happy to have a friend.

But as I thought about Liam Petry, I knew I just wanted one more.

"You talked about a new youth group leader, right?" Tristan asked. "When's the first session?"

"Probably this Friday," I said. "You'll come with me, right?"

"Maybe," he said.

"Please!"

"Probably," he said, laughing a little as I grabbed his arm and shook it. "Okay, okay. I'll be there, gosh."

"You're the best," I said.

"You better remember that."