17 - Deer

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The world was folding in on itself.

It felt as if colossal paws were reaching for Toivo, grabbing his chest and crushing it. Every last breath was squeezed from his lungs. He made to thrash, to cry out - anything that would release him from this terrible constriction - yet no part of him would function.

He wasn't sure whether what he was seeing was actually happening, or merely a creation of his panicked mind. Though he was sure his eyes were wide open, light flickered as if it were sunlight behind closed eyelids.

It pressed tighter. Toivo directed all of the energy he wished he was using to fight back to his heart as he prayed, desperately. At least this collapsed world still let him think.

I'd rather go back and face Jaser than this.

Suddenly, the flashing light spun, and the air relaxed its suffocating grip. A colour he knew as green flooded into the world. Finding his snout capable of opening, Toivo snapped his jaw open and let out a strangled sound somewhere between a howl and a whimper.

It was only several moments later when he realised that his flank was now in contact with the earth.

He abruptly cut off the sound, blinking rapidly as everything slowly came back into focus. Earthy shades became trees. The sky drained in above him. Splashes of gold and purple formed themselves into wolves - one on the ground beside him, and one stood above, but both staring directly at him.

Awkwardly, he cleared his throat. "Uh, what just happened?"

Lexi shifted, edging closer to him. The unsteady way she dug her claws into the ground made him feel a little better. "I think we just teleported."

"Okay." Toivo nodded slowly, quickly giving up on pushing up with his paws. His limbs were shaking too much. "And how, exactly?"

"It is a skill of mine," Dawn said, panting, before Lexi could offer up another theory. He suddenly noticed the way her shoulders were scrunched up as she bent over. She lowered herself to the ground, still breathing heavily, before speaking again. "I used my power to allow all three of us to enter, and be transported by, my mind."

Confused, he opened up his snout to ask for a more detailed explanation, but Lexi got there first. "I thought so," she said with a nod. "Very few Mystwylves have the ability, but it's possible. I think General Dusk could do it. Which would make sense," she added, turning towards Dawn.

"That's right." There was another pause as Dawn took a few gasps of air. "My special connection with Bhavisha allows me to widen the boundaries of how I am able to use my power. Granted," she added with a chuckle, "I have never pushed it that far. Usually I only transport myself."

The explanation, along with the moment of rest, meant that Toivo's strength was restored enough for him to stand. He bounced a few times. Already the aftershock of the crushing sensation was fading. "Well, you did a pretty good job of it."

She gave him a weak smile. "Thank you, Toivo."

Dipping his head, he forced himself to stay silent as she continued to inhale deeply. Only once her breath faded to a more steady rhythm did he let himself speak. "So are we safe here?"

"For now." Dawn glanced up at the sun, now climbing high in the sky. "We should be several miles north of our previous location, and Jaser has no way of discovering where we are."

He lifted his head. The relief that should have flooded in at her words remained buried. "Will the others be safe?" A huge part of him didn't want to hear the answer, but he knew it had to be asked.

"That depends on how you define safe," she said, her flicking gaze betraying the anxiety she also felt. "The Shadewylves are unlikely to kill them, not yet at least. Not until they have what they want."

"What do they want?" Lexi leaned in, her constant curiosity sparkling in her eyes. But Dawn shook her head.

"I do not know. Perhaps for a bargain of some kind."

Neither of them said anymore. With a sigh, Toivo spun on his paws, suddenly realising that he'd begun to pace. A constant energy thrummed in his veins, his claws endlessly twitching, unable to keep still. Jaser's words echoed in his ears.

I'm sure you've felt it. The urge to fight.

He shook himself. Jaser was wrong. Whatever had caused him to leap at Angel, and strike back at Thea, and even to throw himself deep into the battle alongside the Twilytra, had been nothing more than a natural instinct. Nerves. Protection. Nothing sinister.

The rest of the world may call that urge evil. But we call it power.

Thankfully, Lexi's voice sliced through his thoughts before he could delve any deeper. "Why did you go to see Briar?"

"Who?" Toivo asked, his eyes darting between them. The name seemed to make Dawn flinch.

"Briar was the wolf in that hut - the one who betrayed us to the Shadow," she explained, her snout tilting downwards. "He was an old friend of ours. A former Twilytra. But four moons or so ago, he left us, claiming that our work was pointless." Her voice grew tight. Sliding forwards, Lexi inclined her head, urging the Mystwylf to continue.

"Last night, Bhavisha spoke of him to me," Dawn said. "She told me that encountering him again was vital, and that he still had a part to play in our mission for peace. I took the words to mean that he could help us somehow." Her head bowed further. "It seems I was wrong."

The pain in her tone was like claws to Toivo's heart. In that moment, she didn't look like a mystical prophet. She didn't hold the goddess-like air she had when she'd first strolled out of the woods, bringing word of an incredible destiny. Sitting there, staring at the ground, she looked completely ordinary - an ordinary wolf with a burden that sometimes grew too heavy to bear.

"That doesn't matter now." Toivo found himself speaking before he fully knew what he was saying. "What matters is that we got away, and somewhere nearby, the others are alive and safe, of sorts." He halted in his pace, and turned to rest his gaze on her. "We have to rescue them."

Dawn looked up, a small smile curving her snout. As she straightened her forepaws, her fur seemed to take on a new divine shine. "Quite right, little hero."

The confidence in her voice steeled his determination. Maybe he didn't have to save the world. Maybe all he had to do was keep doing the right thing, one step at a time, until things worked out.

If he could keep the urge within him at bay, he could still be a hero. Somewhat.

"Can we rest here for a bit, though?" Lexi asked, making him whip around to face her. One look at the deep wound in her shoulder - thankfully no longer bleeding as badly as before, but still trickling with a dangerous stream of blood - made him nod. He edged closer to her and touched her other shoulder with his snout.

"I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner," he whispered in her ear, before pulling away. "Is there any way we can heal it?" he asked, with a glance back at Dawn. Part of him hoped that if her Mystic powers were strong enough to teleport them, maybe it could heal, too.

"I'm afraid that requires a different kind of magic," she said, and his hopes faded. He heard the quiet pad of her paws as she rose and moved over to them, and her snout nudged his flank. Twisting his head, he met her eyes. "What is the plan, Toivo?"

He failed to hide his surprise. "You're asking me?" In its nervous sweep, his tail collided with Dawn's side, and he ducked his head in apology.

She sat down beside him. "I am."

Ears twitching, he stared out into the forest. He'd never been this far out. The pine trees, along with whatever the other tall, darker trees were called, still felt spooky and unfamiliar. The only time he recalled travelling deeper into the northern forests was a one-off hunting trip with his father.

Hunting. The mere thought made his stomach growl louder than he would have liked. In all the rush of excitement and terror that had swallowed up the last couple of days, he'd completely forgotten about eating. Had he eaten at all the day before last? Maybe a rabbit that morning. Time seemed to merge all into one.

Thankfully, the thought did at least bring with it fragments of a plan. "I'll go hunting," he decided. "You two stay here. Dawn, do you know how to make a bandage... or something?"

She nodded.

"Ok. So you can do that." He turned his gaze from her to Lexi. "I'll be back soon. I'll bring food. Then we can decide what to do next."

She smirked. "But you're awful at hunting."

It might have been true in the past. He could recall many instances when both he and Lexi had tried to catch prey, and failed miserably. But this time, he raised his head higher. "Maybe not anymore."

As he leapt into the woods, another idea struck him. "Wait, is there any way you can contact Alvis? We left him back at base."

Dawn nodded slowly. "There is. I should still be within range."

"Morgan, too," Lexi added. "He escaped."

A silver twinkle lit up Dawn's eyes. As he turned, slipping into the shadows of the trees, that twinkle set a spark alight in his heart. Not only did she trust him enough to let him lead, but she approved of his plan. He smiled to himself, allowing one moment of warm pride, before finally letting himself sprint away.

The energy he'd kept cooped up now burst out, sending his paws shooting across the earth. Shade and sunlight slipped over his fur as he passed under the trees. Even as he travelled further into the darker parts of the forest, everything still seemed lit up by a silver light, as if Dawn's eyes had cast spotlights to chase away the shadows.

As he ran, he focused his senses on his nose, sniffing forcefully. He remembered the refreshing smell of deer, one his father had often brought with him. As much as he and his father had sparred, that smell reminded him of happier times - times when family wasn't such a hateful concept.

It wasn't long before that smell broke through the leafy scents of the forest. Catching its trail, he darted left, slowing to make his paws touch softer in the grass.

After only a few minutes of tracking them, the trees opened up to reveal a herd of deer.

There weren't many of them - just one stag and a few females, munching on the grass, oblivious to the wolf with eyes fixed on them. Their dappled pelts shone gold in the sun. The male lifted its head and shook its antlers from side to side, making Toivo shrink back from the deadly tips. This new energy didn't make him fearless.

Sinking lower in his crouch, he focused instead on the smallest of the deer. Cut off the weak. Though he'd always hated the wording, he couldn't deny how well it worked. Many a time had he watched from the sidelines as his father took down deer and returned without a scratch.

Jaser's words still lingered as he tensed, but he only shook his head, and let the instructions of his father take over instead. Hunting is about patience. Even a micro-second of timing can be the difference between success and failure.

He wouldn't be the failure any more.

The wait made his muscles ache, but he forced himself to stay still. It was only when the deer began to wander his way, far enough from the stag, that he finally released the energy.

He pounced, reaching out his claws and grabbing for the deer's back. His paws wrapped around his chest, and he found himself dangling, his claws scraping into its opposite side. The deer let out a cry, met by the beating of hooves, drawing closer. Digging his claws in deeper, Toivo yanked hard, pulling the animal down towards the ground.

At the last second, he pushed up and rolled to the side, just in time to see it topple over. The stag bounded closer. He knew he couldn't face those antlers. Scrambling to his paws, he opened his jaw and locked his fangs into the deer's throat.

Its cries faded. The coppery taste of blood coated Toivo's tongue. Not letting himself hesitate, he backed into the woods, dragging the deer with him. It was heavier than he'd thought. He wasn't quick enough.

Perhaps he needed a change of plan.

As the stag reached the treeline, he pounced again, this time reaching for the bigger animal's neck. His claws caught, and he held on as tight as he could. It thrashed, and he felt himself slipping, hurriedly adjusting his grip as pointed antlers swung dangerously close to his snout.

Growling, he ripped through the skin as hard as he could. Then again. The third time resulted in a violent swing of the head and he fell away. But the damage was done.

The stag tried one last time, bending its head to impale him, but its wound slowed it down, and he was able to dodge to the side. He slashed at one of its front legs. It reered up, before standing still for a moment.

They regarded each other. Fear danced in the stag's dark eyes. Toivo snarled lowly, and his victory was confirmed.

It turned and bolted away, the rest of its herd following. Raising his head high, Toivo turned to gaze upon his prize. It would be more than enough to sustain him, Lexi and Dawn, at least for the time being.

A long time ago, he'd learned to hunt. Today, he'd actually had the strength to put it into practice.

As he grabbed the deer by the neck and began dragging it back towards his companions, that thought remained. Pride bloomed in his heart. But the more he thought, the more that pride mingled with fear.

It wasn't the fact that he'd taken down a deer. That he was overjoyed about. He was terrified instead by the tingle in his paws, begging him to do it again. The thrill he'd felt with every swipe.

The urge to fight.

His eyes flitted to the shadows. Something was pulling him to go out there to find more prey, or to chase that stag and finish what he'd started. To kill more. Every time it cycled through his mind, he couldn't help but shiver.

If his claws were pulled so easily towards prey, how little more would it take to feel that same pull towards a fellow wolf?

When Toivo returned, both Lexi and Dawn looked a little brighter. A covering of broad leaves now draped Lexi's shoulder, hiding the bloodied wound from view, while Dawn was sat straight upright, gazing into the sky.

At his approach, her head tilted downwards, silver eyes lowered to rest on him. She inclined her head. "Welcome back, Toivo. It seems you've been successful."

"Yes," he agreed, withholding his enthusiasm. Though he'd done his best to shake off his earlier thoughts, doubts still pricked at his heart. "I got us a deer to share."

Rising, Lexi stared at it for a few moments, before looking up at him. "Well done," she breathed. He tried not to flinch at the disbelief in her eyes.

He heaved it into the centre of their patch of grass, hidden amongst the towering trees, and they all settled down to eat. It felt so peaceful compared to the panic of battle, or even the rush of the hunt, that it seemed somehow wrong to Toivo. Every rustle in the undergrowth made him flinch. Yet nothing but birds and mice lurked in the forest.

All they could do was pray that it would stay that way.

The silence that hung over them didn't help his anxiety, although it did at least allow him to eat without distraction. It seemed he had been more ravenous than he'd thought. Once he leaned back, satisfied, he did feel better than before.

The others finished not long after him, and together he and Lexi dragged the remains of the deer away from their rest spot, leaving it in a smaller copse for the foxes to scavenge. It was common tradition to leave a little meat behind since wolves began to populate the area, so that there would be enough prey to keep the less intelligent species going.

The task only took a few minutes, but when they returned Dawn was already standing. The moment Toivo saw her, she fixed her eyes on him. "You cannot stay here for much longer," she warned. "Jaser and his wolves are no longer the only Shadewylves in the forest.

Toivo exchanged nervous glances with Lexi. "Where should we go next, then?" he asked. Dawn waited until he had navigated a pair of trees, coming to a stop beside her, before she answered.

"The Wylfire may no longer be trustworthy, but the Wylfrost have not lost their loyalty to their mission over the decades," she said. "Their current leader, Konrad, has been chief for more than five years now. Find him. He and his Icewylves will help you."

It sounded like an excellent idea, but before he could tell her so, Lexi spoke. "But isn't the Frigyce region bitterly cold? I suppose it might be warmer at this time of year," she added, as if anticipating Dawn's argument, "but still too cold for anyone with a Pelt not of Ice."

"Your thicker northern Pelts should keep you warm enough to reach Vendett. I will send a message to Konrad to ensure that he meets you both there. Him and I used my power to create a special link between us when he first rose to chief."

Toivo's mind whirled. "Vendett as in the outpost?" he tried, hoping he was right. Whatever part of his brain stored geography facts seemed to have gone to sleep.

Much to his relief, Dawn nodded. "Yes. Vendett is one of Brinehold's three outposts."

He at least didn't have to think to know where Brinehold was. The northernmost settlement of Sylvera. Most wolves that gained a Pelt of Ice in Borealton didn't stay long, instead heading to the colder region of Frigyce, where their power felt more content. Once or twice, he had feared that the white Pelt might come along and force him to leave Lexi behind, but every time he'd assured himself that even if that did happen, he would stay regardless. The call of power couldn't be that strong.

It felt strangely naive of his younger self to have thought that, looking back now. The power of Shadow pulsed within him much stronger than he could have imagined.

Shaking his head, he pulled himself out of his thoughts just in time to catch Lexi asking, "Isn't Greystra more of a midway point, though? It's still fairly icy in Vendett."

Dawn frowned. "It seems the Wylfire neglected to tell you." Her tail twitched, and Toivo was suddenly as curious as Lexi. "Greystra was attacked, more than twelve moons ago now. By Shadewylves. The Wylfrost got there as fast as they could, but it was too late. That outpost is nothing but ruins now."

Lexi gasped, her eyes wide. "Oh." She bowed her head for a few moments, and Toivo followed her example, both of them silently mourning. After a minute or so, she lifted her head again, but not as high as before. "And I bet it's not the only secret the Wylfire have kept from us."

"No." With a sigh, Dawn glanced around again, the nervousness in the swishing of her tail increasing. "The Wylfire prefer to create a false peace, rather than fighting for a true one."

"Cowards," Toivo growled. He wasn't entirely sure where the word came from, but he knew he believed it. It was true of every one of those overbearing Flamewylves.

Beside him, Lexi nodded fiercly. Dawn looked more uneasy, but she said nothing more about it. "I will stay here for as long as possible in order to stay within reach of your mind, Toivo. Contact me if anything goes wrong. But once I can no longer reach you, I'm afraid that you will be on your own." It wasn't a pleasant thought, but he nodded anyway, letting Dawn's faith light a spark inside him once more.

"Why can't you come with us?" Lexi asked. The Mystwylf shook her head with a small smile.

"My duty is to protect the Twilytra dynasty. I must return to the two remaining members and keep watch over the town, as I always have. I can only stay out here for so long." She dipped her head - a sign of farewell Toivo didn't feel quite ready for. "Good luck, both of you."

"Thank you," Lexi said. If she felt as uncertain as he did, she didn't show it.

"We'll do our best," he added, taking a reluctant step backwards. As Dawn's silver eyes locked onto his, he tried to straighten his posture.

As they turned away, padding into the forest, Toivo didn't stop looking back to see those eyes once more. It was only when they vanished from view, concealed by the shadows, did it finally hit him. He swallowed.

They truly were on their own.

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