Papa greeted me with a shallow expression the following morning. He folded his newspaper quickly and hid it beneath his thigh. I glanced at him curiously and greeted him with a forced smile. Honestly, I felt ashamed of my behavior the previous day. I began an apology, but he waved me to silence.

A plate of half-eaten eggs and sausage sat on the table before him. I helped myself from the sideboard and took my usual seat. Papa continued to stare into space.

"Have you spoken to Grayson?" I asked tentatively.

"I have not," Papa responded tersely. "I have an appointment with him at mid-morning."

"Oh," I frowned at my dry toast. Picking it up, I began crumbling it on my plate. "I didn't mean to let the situation get out of control yesterday, Papa. I...I'm sorry."

My father glared at me, his expression remaining flat. I noticed the sorrow in his downturned eyes and felt his shame concerning my behavior. Shrinking against my chair, I cast my eyes downward and held back a sob.

I was sorry, but Charlotte irked me. She took pleasure in baiting me. Slowly, I rose from the table and exited the small dining room. I stood in the great hall, wondering which direction to go. Outside, snow fell, whitening the gardens and pathways. I didn't want to visit Mama, nor did I wish to return to the nursery.

Grayson sat on a bench outside Papa's office. My heart went out to my middle brother. A daunting task lay before him. Considering our father's current mood, I didn't wish to take his place. What Gray had to say would further provoke him.

"Are you all right, Gray?" I asked, approaching him. He looked up with hallow eyes. "Isn't Thad with you?"

"I have to face father alone," my brother muttered, clasping his hands tightly in his lap. His knuckles gleamed whitely against his dark trousers.

"I guess I understand," I stated lowly. I wanted to warn him of Papa's mood but didn't want to unnerve him further. "I love you, Grayson." I bent swiftly and kissed his cheek. "Good luck."

"Thanks, Priss." Gray sighed deeply.

When Papa appeared, he leaped up and stood erect, his spine straight and stiff.

"I'll wait in the library if you need me," I whispered, squeezing his upper arm. Grayson mouthed a thank you, and I ducked it inside the open library door.

Minutes seemed to stretch into hours as I awaited Gray's entrance. I picked a novel at random and sat on the settee. The book remained unopened as I contemplated Papa's reaction to Grayson's announcement. Finally, the door cracked open, and my brother's pallid face peeked at me. I leaped up and rushed toward him.

"What is it, Gray?" I demanded, grasping his sweaty palms. I overlooked the newspaper until it fluttered to the floor. Bending, I picked it up. A familiar name leaped out at me.

Wedding Bells Ring Out for Merriweather Wilkes-Porter and Heidi van der Meer

On Christmas day, mid-morning, the bachelor Viscount of Barnstable and Freiin Claiburg exchanged vows in a grand ceremony at the Viscount's baronial home in Yorkshire. The happy couple departed for their Venetian honeymoon early this morning.

The paper fell from my grasp, and blackness surrounded me. I awoke to find Gray and Jane leaning over me. Jane held Mama's smelling salts beneath my nostrils. Blinking rapidly, I pulled myself into a sitting position.

"I...I'm sorry, Priscilla," Grayson muttered, perching on the edge of the settee. "I didn't intend for you to discover the news that way."

I ogled him, my eyes glistening with unshed tears. Valiantly, I attempted to control myself. The overwhelming news startled me. Jane edged closer with the smelling salts, but I waved her away.

"Did you speak to Papa?" I finally asked, putting my brother in front of my woes.

"Yes, Prissy, I did." Gray gulped audibly. "I was telling him about Thad when I spied the newspaper. I was astonished. I don't know if Papa realized what I was telling him. He kept staring at me, his eyes a complete blank."

"He knew at breakfast," I whispered. "He didn't want to tell me."

Jane pressed her hand gently against my shoulder and eased me back against the couch cushion. I struggled to sit up straight, but she cautioned me to remain prone. Tears sprang to my eyes. I covered my face with my palms and cried audibly.

"Poor Prissy," Gray muttered, soothing my brow.

I did not know what to do or say. Grayson and Jane hovered above me. I knew they cared for me, but I felt trapped by their presence. Bolting from the settee, I charged toward the door. Flinging it open, I stumbled into the great hall. Blindly, I grasped the staircase banister and heaved myself upward. Staggering on the risers, I finally reached the first floor.

"Priscilla?" Cassandra called my name from a great distance. I felt her hand on my arm, but it slipped quickly from her fingers. Roughly pushing her aside, I continued along the corridor.

Unheedful of my destination, I found myself outside Joel's chamber door. Flinging it open, I strode toward the bedroom. I entered quickly, slamming the door behind me. Charlotte sat up in bed, ogling me.

"You won!" I exclaimed, pointing my finger at her menacingly. Spinning on my heel, I marched away.

"What was that all about?" I heard Joel ask. I didn't stop or acknowledge his presence. Instead, I opened the door, bashing it against the wall.

Joel grabbed my arm, bringing me to a swift halt. His fingers pressed against my skin, tightening. He yanked me around to face him.

"What's your problem?" my elder brother shouted, his face red with fury. "Answer me!"

"Ask your wife," I hissed, struggling to free myself. "Go ahead, ask her what she did to ruin my life."

"You're hysterical." His other hand circled my other arm. Joel shook me until the pins fell from my hair. It surrounded me in a brown web. "Sit down."

I felt my body fall into a chair. Swiping matted hair from my face, I stared at him with red-rimmed eyes. I repeated that he should ask Charlotte. Joel's arm swung back, and he slapped me across the face. My head rocked back and forth on my neck. Rising, I slapped him back.

I ran pell-mell into the corridor and up the nursery stairs. Joel's footsteps echoed behind me. I rushed into my bedroom and locked the door. Loud, arguing voices sounded in the schoolroom. Then, Miss Young entered, bolting the connecting door behind her.

"Hilliard saw the announcement in this morning's paper," the governess stated. "I'm sorry, Priscilla." She sank onto the bed beside me and massaged my back tenderly. I couldn't speak; my sobs choked me.

"Joel?"

"Hilliard is keeping him at bay. He won't allow him in here," Claudia sighed deeply. "He's provoked. What happened?"

"I don't know!" I wailed, the hysteria returning. "I don't know why they've done this to me. Why they hate me so much!"

"Joel doesn't hate you," Miss Young stated, consternation filling her voice. "He is very fond of you, surely."

"They've destroyed me," I muttered accusingly. "Ever since she arrived, she's tried to hurt me. She succeeded. Joel's on her side."

"Charlotte? Surely not." Miss Young frowned. "Why you should consider yourself lucky, Priscilla."

I sat up abruptly and stared at the governess incredulously. Slowly, I swiped away my tears.

"Lucky?" I mouthed, perplexed.

"Certainly," Miss Young remarked, encircling my shoulders. "You're free from years of heartache. Consider the way Spencer has treated you. You haven't heard a word from him in ages. He didn't have the dignity to tell you he broke your engagement. And now he's married to someone else. He's acted like a cad toward you."

I stared at the governess with incredulity. I could not believe Spencer would act cruelly toward me. After all, he said he loved me. Something dark and sinister occurred to drag him away from me. I knew, deep in my heart, that Charlotte was responsible.

Shaking my head mournfully, I stared at the wall blankly. Miss Young remained, her presence neither comforting nor menacing. In fact, I barely acknowledge her. I felt my mind shutting down.

"Please leave me," I stated without shifting my eyes. "I wish to remain alone."

I barely heard the door open and close. I sank onto the bed and pulled myself into the fetal position. My thoughts raced toward the special love Spencer and I shared and the baby I lost. Images of our short time together spiraled around me. I could not bear thinking of him married to someone else.

"Heidi." The name peppered Spencer's last correspondence. I realized I should have known she was special to him, but I thought she was his cousin. Clenching my fist, I brought it to my mouth and held it there. My body trembled.

Late in the day, Miss Young appeared with a dinner tray. I refused it. Cassandra hovered behind her, her sorrowful eyes falling on me. The governess urged me to eat, but I couldn't bring a morsel to my lips. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I shook my head. 'No.'

A week passed, then another. I thought of Spencer on his honeymoon, which I should have shared with him. I could not tolerate thinking of him with another woman, making love to her in Venice, and sharing a romantic interlude with her. My heart shattered into a million pieces. I refused to leave my room.

In the middle of February, Papa appeared in my room. I sat in the rocking chair with a quilt covering my nightdress. He looked at me sadly, and I met his gaze sorrowfully. I expected a reprimand.

"Priscilla, your mother passed away in her sleep," Papa said, his voice soft and gentle. "I'm sending Jane up to look after you."

"Yes, Papa," I stated noncommittally. Mama, I thought, oh poor Mama. Then, my mind went blank again.

I attended Mama's funeral on a cold, wet winter's day. Grayson stood at my side, holding me up by the elbow. Thad traveled from Oxford with him—they were now quite inseparable. I tried not to look at Joel or Lottie. Although we attended a solemn occasion, they looked smugly at each other. My mind seethed with rage. I felt sure they anticipated Papa's death also.

After the funeral, I entered my shadow world and remained there. I no longer wished to participate in family events and rarely left my new bed chamber. When Jane took over my care, Papa assigned me a new apartment in the east wing. I was now too old for the nursery. Miss Young and Mr. Blanchard remained to teach Cassandra.

My little household consisted of myself, Jane, and Jesse. Mama's maid served both me and the baby. At times, I cursed Charlotte for the way she ignored her own children. She oppressed Cassie and Jesse as though he barely existed. In April, she gave birth to a little girl who immediately fell under Jane's care.

"Poor nameless wee one," Jane crooned, holding the baby close to her heart. We finally decided to call her Rhys, meaning ardor or love.

The two children brightened my life considerably, although I remained melancholy. Jesse quickly showed his intelligence and wit. He began to repeat words he heard constantly with a slight lisp. I spent many hours reading to him while Jane cared for the new baby. Neither Charlotte nor Joel visited them.

Cassie spent part of the day with me. She appeared after her lessons and brought the household gossip with her. I learned that Papa finally blessed Mr. Blanchard upon his marriage to Miss Young. Instead of perking me up, the announcement sent me further into my shadowy depression. I thought of Spencer and the preparations for my own wedding ceremony. My wedding dress lay wrapped in tissue in a bottom drawer—forever unworn.

Uncle Everett performed the marriage ceremony in the small chapel. Although Miss Young begged me to attend, I stoically refused. I could not bear to hear the vows that once meant so much to Spencer and me. Every word we spoke to each other echoed in my mind. I recalled his ardent glances and my excitement when we kissed and made love. The newly married couple honeymooned in Cornwall for a week. When they returned, they took up their duties in the nursery, and life continued normally.

Claudia appeared in my chamber several weeks later. Winter began to shift into spring, but the frosty atmosphere continued in my heart. I could not shake my depression. The new Mrs. Blanchard beamed with happiness. Her dreams came true while mine faltered at the altar.

"The London Season is just beginning, Priscilla," the governess announced. "Your father expresses his chagrin over your missing it. He wants you prepared for next spring."

Next spring. My lips formed the words, but they meant nothing to me. I shook my head in disbelief. How could I—in my melancholy—become excited about flaunting myself in London?

Claudia squatted in front of my corner chair and took my hands. Her soft eyes smiled at me. I felt her tenderness but held onto my emotions.

"You have to snap out of this depression," the governess said. Plenty of men are waiting for an opportunity to court you. You cannot remain locked up here."

I shook my head again, tears glistening in my eyes. I felt my heart breaking all over again.

"There is no one like Spence," I muttered half-audibly.

"I should hope not!" Mrs. Blanchard exclaimed hotly. "Why can't you see what he has done to you. Does he feel no shame?"

"It wasn't Spencer; it was Charlotte." My voice rose slightly.

"Pooh," my companion stated bluntly. "Why must you blame everything on Charlotte? I understand you don't like her. She also rubs me the wrong way, but surely she didn't plot to break your engagement. What would she gain?"

"Don't you understand? She hates me—she hated me the moment she arrived."

I rose and crossed to the window. Parting the curtains, I looked down upon the garden I once loved. Joel and Charlotte stood beside the Venus fountain, tightly embraced. My brother kissed her, and she tightened her arms around his neck. Turning away, I felt my heart sink. They could love each other publicly while I was left to mourn a lost love.

"I'm not going to London, Miss Young," I remarked, using her maiden name. "I made promises to Spencer that I intend to fulfill. When he wakes up to reality, he will return. He loves me. I know he does."

"Suit yourself," the governess announced, firmly closing the door behind her.

I lived in a shadow world. At night, I cried myself to sleep, my tears soaking my soft, downy pillow. I wanted to curl up with Grayson like we did as children. My brother could comfort me—no one else could.

Grayson was far away at Oxford. During the summer, he planned to travel to Egypt with Thaddeus Blair. Papa reluctantly gave his permission. He wanted Gray to join the church but didn't pressure him. Happy Grayson, he was able to fulfill his dreams with Thad.

I rarely left my chamber. Jane prepared my meals and brought me books to read. My depression settled heavily upon me during holidays and birthdays. The children began to grow up. They loved me and didn't recognize Charlotte when she appeared to visit them. I disliked seeing her and the way she fussed over Jesse and Rhys. She hugged them too close, and her words of love fell on deaf ears. They were more my children than hers. Joel never entered my rooms, and that was fine with me.