Spiderpaw's eyes ached with tiredness, and his legs felt like they were about to collapse. He longed to be curled up tightly in his warm test, but even tighter did he long to see Slatestripe again. Moons had passed since he was able to see the SunClan warrior. He had thought about him fault when he was in CedarClan, wondering how he was doing - and whether he had still felt the same way despite not seeing him.
Walking through the cold blades of grass gave him a new strength, and although he was exhausted, he felt like he was barely able to push through. He noticed that his eyes shut most of the journey back to the Great Oaks, where he had promised to meet Slatestripe not long ago, but he didn't seem to mind.
To prevent him from having to make the whole journey to ThornClan back to the Great Oaks, he told Cometcloud that he would be collecting some herbs as he didn't feel tired. Cometcloud must have suspected something was up as Spiderpaw could remember the deputy narrowing his eyes as Spiderpaw suppressed a yawn, but he didn't argue.
Spiderpaw thought he would be worrying if Briartail would realise he had gone, but after the way she had spoken to him before the Gathering, he had come to the conclusion that she wouldn't have even checked to see if he was in his nest. Just thinking about the way his sister lashed out at him made Spiderpaw feel sick, his heart wrenched with guilt and he couldn't help but wonder what he could have done differently to please his sister - no matter what the severity.
Not being able to tell the other medicine cats about his experience with the rockpile was beginning to drive Spiderpaw to the point of exhaustion. The dream he had experienced was the only thing he thought about for the last few sunrises, to the point where several times did Spiderpaw have to be knocked out of his thoughts by other cats.
Spiderpaw just hoped that Briartail wouldn't stay mad at him for too long. Spiderpaw felt lost without the companionship of his sister, and no matter how bossy and careless she could be at times, Spiderpaw cared about her and he wouldn't be able to cope without the stupid fur ball.
The walk to the Great Oaks was considerably shorter than Spiderpaw had anticipated, and he arrived soon after. The clearing was chilly but not freezing, and the moon shone brightly over the Oaks, greeted by the occasional passing cloud.
The clearing seemed empty, reviving from the earlier Gathering. But just as Spiderpaw took a seat to mesmerise himself into the Oaks, he heard a voice whisper his name. "Over here!"
Spiderpaw looked forwards and slightly to his right and raced from his paws the minute he saw Slatestripe's smooth shape emerge from the shadows. "You came!"
"Of course I did!" He replied. "I've been waiting."
Spiderpaw couldn't wait longer to brush his cheek against Slatestripe's and lick his ear lovingly. "Too many moons have passed since I met you like this," he uttered.
"You have no idea," he meowed. "I've been bored!"
Spiderpaw let out a meow of amusement, and although he was over the moon to finally be spending time with Slatestripe again, he couldn't help but close his eyes halfway downwards.
"Are you alright?" Slatestripe meowed.
Spiderpaw could barely make his lowering eyebrows out. "I'm fine," he replied, stifling a yawn.
"You look like you've been up for a moon," Slatestripe described. "I understand you being tired from taking care of Ashpaw, but if I was you, the first thing I would have done upon returning would have been to get a nice rest. Didn't you?"
Spiderpaw hesitated for a moment. He looked down at his paws. He knew telling Slatestripe about his visions wouldn't be right - Briartail would be furious at him, and Spiderpaw knew that was something he wouldn't be able to cope with. But with every passing second, Slatestripe grew more and more concerned. "Spiderpaw, what's been going on?"
Spiderpaw heaved out a sigh. "Something," he meowed. He didn't know where to begin. "Something so strange and abnormal. Something so strange I've been told not to tell anyone - but the pressure is building and I'm not sure what to do."
"I won't make you tell me anything," Slatestripe urged, although Spiderpaw could tell the tone of his voice that he was interested in whatever was going on. "But if you do want to talk to me, you know where I am."
Spiderpaw was aware that this might have been his only chance to spill what had been going on. Briartail had pressurised him so much into not telling anybody, the urge to spill the situation had been gaining on him. Slatestripe's eyes weren't narrowed, but his eyes had widened slightly with worry. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure what.
"I know I shouldn't be saying this," Spiderpaw began, throwing his face downwards in shame. "I don't think I know how to. But I trust you, Slatestripe. I've just been having some issues with StarClan."
Slatestripe brushed his side. "Oh no," he murmured. "Have you been able to connect with them?"
Spiderpaw pulled himself away, ashamed of the fact he had brought this up. "I've been connecting with them fine," he answered. "Maybe a little too well."
Slatestripe didn't seem offended. "How?"
Spiderpaw looked down. "Two of our apprentices managed to converse with StarClan - far away from the Pool of Stars."
Slatestripe dipped his head. "I've never heard of two cats training to be medicine cats before."
Spiderpaw shook his head. "That's the thing - they're both going to train to be warriors."
Slatestripe looked confused.
"The thing that concerns me the most is that I'm not convinced they're conversing with StarClan," Spiderpaw began, his voice shaking like a monster on the Thunderpath. Slatestripe seemed to listen to every word he said, his eyes widening as he continued on. He seemed shocked by the way Spiderpaw described the 'StarClan' he had seen to him, and Slatestripe's eyes gazed in an emotion that he didn't know how to describe.
"I've just felt so much pressure not to tell anybody," Spiderpaw urged. "I'm going to burst."
Spiderpaw breathed as the warrior leaned into his pelt lovingly. "I'm confused," he meowed. "But I'm glad you told me. I can't imagine having to hold all of that on my own back."
Spiderpaw nodded. "I'm not sure how I did."
Slatestripe looked down at the medicine cat's paws. "And you're sure any cat can visit the strange place?"
When Spiderpaw nodded, Slatestripe spoke again. "If I could have been of any help, I would have went there with you, tonight."
Spiderpaw leaned away. "You couldn't."
"Then I would have enough evidence to tell Sedgepool, and the medicine cats could work together to find out what happened to make StarClan divide. But I know that's a risk - I don't want to risk you losing your position because of the fact that you come out to see me."
"That's selfish of me," Spiderpaw admitted. "I should be ensuring the safety of the stars - but instead I'm worried about my position. That's not me acting like a medicine cat."
"Sometimes you've just got to be realistic," Slatestripe admitted. "Although, I would be interested to know where these cats meet with these strange cats." He paused and leaned away from Spiderpaw, catching his eyes. "Would you take me there?"