Prof!Kain: THE BELL DOESN'T DISMISS YOU, I DO

Prof!Kain: ...

Prof!Kain: nevermind you all smell get the fuck outta my room GO

***

Kain: anyone who wouldn't become a cyborg is a fucking idiot

Nemesis: yeah, say that after someone hacks into your balls

Adrian:

Adrian: why would your balls be linked to WiFi?

Kain: sO I CAN CONNECT TO THE INTERNUT

Nigel: nICE ONE

***

Adrian: whH,,,, where am I¿¿

Kain: welcome to hell, Drizzy

Adrian: W H A T

Kain: issa joke bro u just fell asleep in the backyard again lmao

Adrian: gHH DON'T PULL THAT SHIT

Kain: wait a min. why were you even worried??

Adrian: ...

Kain: ...

Adrian: ////abracagetthefuckout

Kain: AY NAH GET BACK HERE—

***

Teen!Ahri: ew, looks like Brittany has a new date or whatever

Teen!Shadz: //turns to the camera// how interesting

Teen!Ahri: ...where are you looking

Teen!Shadz: oh nowhere just zonin

Teen!Shadz: *turns back to hunch over and cackle maliciously*

***

Bartender!Ry: um... shouldn't someone get him down from there?

Waiter!Kain: who, Dri? Oh, we just let him do karaoke til he passes out

Drunk!Showman!Adri, on the floor:

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Waiter!Kain: there he goes

Drunk!Showman!Adri: MY SWEET KRISSANT,,,, PLS CALL BACK SOON BABY ILY

***

Mafia!Shadz: Y'KNOW WHAT? I'M SICK OF YOUR SHIT! YOU'RE FIRED!

Mafia!Haru: ...

Gang!Lady: uh... you seem a bit too calm,,,,,,, you gonna be okay?

Mafia!Haru: oh yeah I'm fine. The boss doesn't mean it, she does this every other week tbh

~

Mafia!Shadz, on the phone approx. 2 mins after she left: Hrrumn pls,,, im sorru I yeldld ur thbest pls come home,,;,;, bring fudge

Mafia!Haru: *sigh* will do, miss

***

Kristi: uh,,, when you said you were 'magical in bed' this isn't exactly what I exp—

Adrian: *makes an 8 of hearts levitate* IS THIS YOUR CARD?

Kristi: ////naNI

***

Senior!Ahri: me? oh no, i don't think anybody would be interested in me

Senior!Kris: *quickly folds up the song he wrote about her thighs* u shouldn't say those kinda things I mean like u never know

***

Ophelia: kainey sweetie come down for a second!!!

Kain: //slides down the stairs// aw jeez ma whaddya want now

Ophelia: don't you "aw jeez ma" me, i said get down here

Kain: ...

Kain: *sighs as he squats to her height*

Ophelia: thank you //head pap// need you to do the dishes

Kain: mhm

***

Corrupt!Kain: we must destroy everyone on this planet

Corrupt!Haru: NO!!!!!!

Corrupt!Kain: mm. fine

Corrupt!Haru: /////sigh

Corrupt!Kain: WE'LL ENSLAVE THEM AND RUIN THEIR LIVES FOR MY AMUSEMENT INSTEAD

Corrupt!Haru: THAT'S NOT GOOD EITHER™

***

Corrupt!Shadz: tell me, runt, what exactly makes you think I won't slash you to pieces like the ones before you?

Guardian!Ahri: ...

Guardian!Ahri: 👏🖐👋 BOI

Corrupt!Shadz:

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

***

Tiny!Togs: oh. oh no.

Shadana: *SQUEE*

Tiny!Togs: nonononO GO AWAY PUT ME DOWN

Shadana: IM GONNA DRESS YA UP N THEN IM GONNA FIX YOUR HAIR AND THEN I'LL DO YOUR MAKEUP AND--

Shadana: *gasp* and then we're gonna get food and cuddle

Tiny!Togs: ...that doesn't sound too bad actually

***

Kain: home alone 2 is the only home alone movie that matters and if you don't think so you can get the FUCK out

Niak: is it cause it's in New York?

Kain: WELL OBVIOUSLY THE BEST ONE'S IN NEW YORK, YOU NINNY

***

Shadana: c'mon sis don't be like that!! we're friends, amirite?

Ahriana: ...

Shadana: ...

Ahriana: :)

Shadana: :D !!

Ahriana: *slams door*

Shadana: THAT'S PRETTY FUCKED, MY GUY

***

Mafia!Ahri, getting arrested: I NEVER WENT HERE????? I DUNNO HOW THE FUCK MY PRINTS ARE ON THE TABLE, BUT I AINT DO SHIT LIKE SOMEBODY'S FRAMING ME I S W E A R

Mafia!Annie: wow. who would ever do such a terrible thing?

Mafia!Ahri >8O

Mafia!Annie: sounds like you've been hit by a smooth criminal

Mafia!Ahri: OHHHH YOU DIRTY BITCH—

***

NP!Shadz: we've only gotten closer

Shadana: it is HALLOWEEN LEAVE ME ALONE

NP!Shadz: RINGALINGALINGADINGDONGDING

***

Tiny!Ahri: !!! oH GOSH

Kristopher: huh.

Kristopher: I've seen enough macro porn to know where this is going

Tiny!Ahri: macro WHAT

Kristopher: 👀 nothin bby

***

Ahriana: oh my GOD i cannot SLEEP

Nemesis: sorry to hear bout that but since ur up you can help me w–

Ahriana: ssnnnnzzzzz

Nemesis: W O W

***

Succubus!Shadz: ...

Human!Togs: ... *cough*

Succubus!Shadz: ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES

Human!Togs: WHY HAVENT YOU LEFT YET

***

Shadana: *turns invisible*

Shadana: //smorches toggo

Togquos: the FUCK

Shadana: *snuggles into his lap*

Togquos: ¿?¿

Shadana: huhuhu

Togquos: wh-- oh

***

Mafia!Nem: you're a egotistical shithead with no other qualities besides your muscles

Mafia!Kain: lmao tru

Mafia!Ophelia: *angry nose poke* been gettin into trouble, haven't cha, you SLIPPERY boy?

Mafia!Kain:

***

Ahriana: yes,,,, my soft, sweet lil honey bear

Kristopher: ??? pretty sure I'm a good two feet taller than you

Ahriana: //face pap// misunderstood mini spice roll

***

Hunter!Dani: ah. what a relaxing swim. absolutely nothing could disturb--

Mer!Kain: owo

Hunter!Dani: [YELPS™]

~

Mer!Kain: ///excited flappy tail///

Hunter!Dani: stop being cute goddamnit I have to leave

Mer!Kain:（◞‸◟）

Hunter!Dani: ...ok maybe I can stay a little while longer

***

Nigel: yoooo split that fruit by the foot bro

Kain: get a JOB

Nigel: bruh

Kain: it's capitalism, my guy