Here you go, the much awaited.

"Izhar..." I faintly whispered as I traced each scar.

After what felt like forever, Izhar spoke up in the same position he was in before: his back facing me with his head titled downwards and eyes tightly shut. His voice shook at first but then with time it eased, and it was full of pain and regret.

"When I was 13, I slowly started drifting away from everyone and everything. It was nice being a golden child for awhile, and at that time I already knew I would graduate early. Everyone gushed over me, parents spoke to me and acted like they cared about me as their kids daunted me and hated that I was the dream child. Ammi and Abbu weren't worried about me since they knew I was doing the right thing to pass by. But I wasn't untroubled, and I didn't like being in the spotlight 24/7. One day during lunch in school, I became nomadic. I didn't know what I wanted to do in life or where I was headed. There was so much pressure, and I didn't have a social life whatsoever. It was all school, homework, repeat. I was sick and tired of the normal routine. As I walked to unknown places, I noticed I made it to a neighborhood I'd never been to before. At that time we lived in North Carolina in a beach house. I tried tracing my steps backwards, but I was lost. I was far more lost than I could even have imagined."

Izhar's voice broke at the end and I knew in that instant, he was reliving all those memories that haunted him for the past 12 years.

"Like an alley we were in today, I was walking down and it was starting to get dark outside. Four older boys whom I'd never seen before trapped me from each side. I was scared, shaking, and cold. I never felt so alone in my entire life. I tried to escape to no avail. Two of the boys hauled me by the shoulders and pulled me into one of the brook stone apartments askew from the alley. I shouted and protested with all the strength I had, but they didn't listen. They told me they were part of a gang and after they told me which one, I realized I was in deeper than I could suffice. I grew up in the richest county, so I'd never come across someone from the gang before. However, we all knew them and what they were capable of...." Izhar's voice shook and clouded.

I froze in position and my hand stilled on the dip in his lower back. I breathed through my nose and waited for him to continue.

"They started putting thoughts in my head, I was going astray. I lost all spiritual touch and didn't pray. Ever. Ammi and Abbu started noticing, by that time I was caught smoking by Huda Appi. I picked up bad habits. I've gotten drunk. But I can tell you for sure that that was a one time thing.

We had tasks in our gang that all members had to partake in. The gang leader, Ian Raseeq, was very fond of me. I was the youngest member and he was the eldest at 24. I wanted to please him, but he always made me the lookout. I was never physically a part of recruitment, or the horrible things they did even though I had a second degree black belt in martial arts. They always told me that they were only going into homes and other places to recruit more people. And then I started to become curious as to what took them so long to summon one person.

One day I blew up and lost my cool. I flipped chairs and tables in the gang's apartment, I punched and hurt people who were my so-called "brothers". Then finally, Ian answered. He didn't want to tell me and after what felt like forever, he claimed that they were looting families, robbing them of their money, dignity, and humanity. They raped the girls they found appealing to them and left them to rot in their own misery. They killed the innocent ones who wanted to come between them and break up the gang. They...they-"

Izhar broke into sobs and fell to the floor. His scars stretched cruelly over his back, and he held his head in both hands.

"I was sick and tired of being lied to. After two years, I finally had found out what they were actually doing. They lied, cheated, smuggled drugs, raped innocent girls, and killed. I ran home and locked myself in. I had stopped talking to everyone, and Ammi was the only one who understood exactly what I was going through. At that time Abbu wasn't living with us on a regular basis because his work was far. I cried and cried to Ammi and that same night, she called Abbu to take us away somewhere far. I prayed day and night for what felt like a really short time and repented. I still do to this day. I've hurt so many.

Though I was never exactly in on the action, I had hurt people physically, emotionally, and mentally. No one deserved that life. We couldn't move right away because we were all midway through the school year. I finished high school, and then one day decided to walk back to the path that lead me astray. I was no longer afraid, no longer scared about anything but Allah. I walked till I got to the same alley. I stayed there for hours and aimlessly sauntered around till I came across those big community trash cans. It drawled my attention, and I unwillingly contended towards it. There was a big cardboard box of multiple supplies filled with wire, car parts, computer chips. I took the box home and started building. That summer as I waited to get accepted into colleges, I came up with my first model and creation. I knew what I wanted to do with my life. Allah doesn't give someone something when they want it but when they need it the most."

A moment of still silence passed, and I walked to stand in front of him. I kneeled down before him and took his hands in mine. A tear trickled down his chin in sync with one of my own. He opened his eyes and locked them with the floor. I took one hand and with my forefinger, I pushed his chin up towards my face.

"I know I'll never understand until I go through the same thing, but I know that that was a test. Allah tests those with as much capacity as they can handle. And you are strong for being able to turn back to your Imaan," I whispered.

He looked into my eyes and shook his head back and forth, "After everything, you still think I'm a good person? How can you still be with me? Nouran, I hurt people and I hurt you too, the one person I love the most," his voice broke.

I grabbed his face and leaned my forehead into his. "No Izhar, never say that. Everything happens because Allah wills it to. It doesn't matter what you did, but what happened with you. All I care about is the fact you came back to Islam, and you let Allah guide you," I spoke into his cheek.

"I'm sorry Nouran, I'm so so sorry," Izhar cried into my neck.

I rubbed his back and kissed his cheek. I looked back at him and moved away his hair. "Hey, look at me. There's nothing you need to be sorry about, okay?" I quietly said.

We simply held each other and the waves crashed outside. Thunder ignited the sky and angry drops of rain pelted the roof. My thoughts drifted to Izhar's back as I stroked it with my freezing fingertips.

"I got these scars on my back because I disobeyed the gang's rules by questioning them. They tied up my hands and legs, and made me lay facedown on the cold floor which was coated with ice. I was stripped of my shirt with nothing but my pants on. Ian took the whip and punished me for each word I had uttered against them. No one came to save me, no one heard my cries, no one accepted my pleas to let me go. They dropped me at the steps of the apartment with my shirt in my hands and bledding to complete unconsciousness. Walking wasn't even imaginable, standing up was far from it. I called Adam and he came to pick me up. Despite all the hardships that came between us, he still came for me. We rarely interacted because we fought earlier as he tried to push some sense back into me, but he's one person I can still count on after everything other than my family. Ammi cleaned my wounds and put me back together. She forgave me before I could even apologize. Imaan cried the whole night and sat by my head making sure I was still alive. And Appi never let me out of her sight. I'm so grateful for the people in my life. Allah truly blessed me with the best. And then you came into my life. I didn't want to get married, and I didn't want to ask for your hand because I didn't want someone else to get hurt by me. I didn't want to ruin another life," he caressed my cheek.

I grabbed his hand in mine and kissed his palm. "I wouldn't have it any other way with anyone else. Get that in your head!" I cried.

"I got severe anger management when I was recruited and even after that, I still had the faint traces of the trauma that ignited in horrible acts of behavior. I would lash out at everyone, but they were patient with me. Abbu knew everything without having to be told anything at all. They all decided that college would be the best way to bring me back to the lighter side. Ammi was against me leaving her eyes, but Baba and Appi coaxed her. I didn't want to go, but I guess I did come back better. We moved to Boston after the year was over, and I flied away to Columbia."

I bit the edge of my lip as it quivered against the other. A single tear ripped my cheek apart, and Izhar kissed it away.

"After the first night I got drunk, I never touched another alcoholic drink again, and I stopped smoking too," he promised.

"Can I ask you one thing?" I shakily asked.

He nodded his head for me to continue.

"I know you didn't partake directly in any of their acts, but Izhar did you- did you ever...," I stuttered.

The tears angrily pushed their way out and Izhar leaned his forehead against mine, "Shh, hey Nour. No, don't. Please. Please don't cry," he said as he kissed my eyelids.

"I never touched a girl Nour, I promise. That's one thing, I've never done," he said with a strong voice.

And I believed him.

******

I tried to act normal with Izhar as we took our trip to our new destination. He didn't speak much but smiled, nodded, or said a few words here and there when I either asked or said something. We explored Rome and it was as beautiful as Positano though I missed our home by the coast-side. I watched the city pass by through the windows as the sun fell asleep and the city became awake with scattered lights everywhere. We stopped a third of the way and got on a big boat with our bags. My curiosity got the better half of me as Izhar drove us to the other side of the city.

"Welcome to Venice," Izhar smiled.

I looked around and the sounds of the water diminished into the night as loud music soared throughout the city. My whole honeymoon experience was like a dream and visiting Venice was just another surprise. I had always wanted to visit Italy but dreamed of Venice, and it was on my bucket list.

My smile was larger than the sky, and I was dazed. Izhar had rented another place, except this was a suite in a grand hotel. We were at the second to topmost floor and like always, the view was breathtaking. We quietly moved around the room and unpacked. Izhar's hand would brush mine spontaneously, or my shoulder would coincidentally bump into his. We'd both would say sorry under our breaths and go on to do what we were doing. He hadn't spoken to me from his own will so I decided to ignore him as well.

We prayed Isha' and as I raised my hands in Dua, the tears pooled down. I wiped my hands over my face and kissed my palms. My eyes met with Izhar's as he innocently gazed into mine. He sat crisscrossed in front of me, leaned against his palm with his cheek in his hand and elbow on his knee.

His Jai Namaz was neatly folded and sat on the bed. I grabbed the corner of mine and started folding it. When I was done and got up from the floor without glancing at Izhar, he got up as well and grabbed my hand as I unwrapped the scarf from my head.

"Why are you ignoring me?" A smile twitched at the edge of his lips.

I glared at him and pulled my arm free. I looked away and turned my back to him as I finished unpacking my bags.

Now I was the one ignoring him? Humph.

As I felt him come closer to me, I walked to the other side of the room with an excuse to put the empty bags away.

He grabbed my arm in his and quickly turned me around. My arm was twisted back and trapped in his. I gritted my teeth and looked away. With his other hand he brushed the loose strands of hair behind my ear that covered my face. I knew he wouldn't let me go so I stayed still as his lips burned my skin. He traced the edge of my jaw from the sensitive spot behind my ear to my chin. I closed my eyes in anticipation and bit back the unfamiliar sound that struggled to pull free in the back of my throat.

I could feel his smile as he kissed the edge of my mouth. I struggled to pull free as my heart thundered against his. He pulled my face back with his free hand tangled in my hair. I kept my eyes low and his lips hovered right above mine. I followed his eyes and they twitched under the bright lights. He smirked and moved his lips to my cheek instead. My whole body lit up like a live current, and I shuddered as his lips met my exposed skin.

Izhar's hand loosened around my arm, and I quickly turned away from him trying to steady my breath. I wriggled my hands and he chuckled in my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into my ear.

I moved my head away from his, and in return he tightened his hold on me. I was a bird locked in an iron cage.

Izhar moved his head toward the other side so it touched mine and said, "Please? Forgive me?"

"Promise you'll never ignore me again?" I demanded.

Izhar laughed huskily and turned me around to face him still locked in his protective hold.

"I promise," he vowed as his face turned serious.

I smiled and winked as I ducked away from his arms.

******

I stretched my arm across the satin sheets of the bed and found it to be cold. I slowly opened my eyes and they instantly watered as they met the sun streaming from the large windows. The curtains swished silently and I looked around to only find a cold room and empty bed. I stretched my arms above my head. My eyes were closed as I yawned and covered my mouth with the back of my left hand. I took a deep breath and looked up to be greeted with a balloon covered ceiling.

There were ribbon strands close enough for me to grab and they were all in different colors. I leaned my elbows against the pillows and slowly sat up in bed. The multi-colored transparent balloons dangled against the ivory ceiling. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands utterly confused.

I looked at the side table next to me. Before I could grab my phone, my eyes met with an overgrown bouquet of pink and cream roses. They were as tall as me, sitting down and absolutely gorgeous. My lips twitched at the corner as I gently brushed my fingers above the silky petals. My hand knocked something over and it made a shuffling sound against the edge of the bed. I bent down at the waist and pulled open the ice blue envelope free. I pulled out a beige studded note card and smiled while I glazed over Izhar's handwriting.

Good morning beautiful, :)

Today's a very special day! I hope you got a good night's sleep because today is going to be very long. The 220 roses are my morning kisses to you. Yet, they will never be enough kisses that I want to give you each day. The 220 balloons are the hugs and touches I would give you each night, but those will never be enough either. Don't worry, I haven't gone MIA, I'm very close to you, but you just can't see me. ;) I think it's time for you to take a shower, don't you think so Mrs. Khan?

Your ever-loving husband,

Mr. Khan

I shook my head and put the card back into the envelope. I got up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom. I wondered what he was up to and where he was. I grabbed my towel and as I opened the door, I looked back to the bed and the ceiling. The balloons were all pastel colors, my favorite. I smiled and thought about what they represented. Each touch, each caress, each singularity of contact was a light as a balloon. Each kiss and peck was as silky and soft as a rose petal.

I sighed heavily and went into the bathroom. Hmm, what was Mr. Khan up to?

Another cliff-hanger? Hm, I guess I like them. ;) So, what do you guys think? Short? I know, but what to do? My lovelies asked for an update, and I used my magical powers to bestow one upon them! Hehehe. :) Vote, comment, and share! Sleep tight.