My dear Wattpadians, I haven't been feeling well, and I would REALLY, REALLY, REALLY appreciate if everyone showed some support by voting/commenting! I would LOVE if my all readers went back and voted for all my other chapters that you may have not previously voted for... if you'd like! ;) Thanks! ♡ This one is for all those amazing people who have been with me and this story since day one. (: Thank you for #2 again in Spiritual! You guys are the best.

I was so caught up in my studies that I rarely had the time to go out anymore, unless it was running errands, and going back and forth between Mama's and my in-laws place. Izhar was getting busier at work too, coming home late, and working long hours. There was rarely anytime to spare.

I exhaled a deep and tired sigh as I closed my Anatomy and Physiology book. I capped the multiple pens I used to write notes and closed the notebook and the manual as well. I got up from the turkish rug that sat underneath the chestnut coffee table in the living room and put my stuff on the kitchen island when my phone rang.

It was Bhabi! As we spoke about anything and everything, she brought something up that caught my attention.

"So, when should I be expecting little Nourie's and Izhar's?" she retorted from the other side.

I choked on the orange juice I was drinking and walked out to the penthouse balcony. "Bhabi, are you feeling okay?" I chuckled.

"Nouran? Don't make me take my shoe off!" she huffed.

"Ya Allah Bhabi jaan! What made you think about this all of a sudden?" I asked and fidgeted with the steel railing of the glass balcony. It was in sheets of transparent glass placed perpendicularly to the white marble flooring, the steel rods and bolts clearly identifiable through the glass.

"Nourie, whether you admit it or not, you and Izhar both know we are dearly waiting to hear this news! Darling, it's been a year since your marriage," she said calmly.

I sighed and looked towards the sunset, it was beautiful subhanAllah. The colors painted the sky as if it were its canvas with reds, oranges, crimson, and scarlet; just like a booming and freshly ignited fire. I was astonishingly absorbed in its beauty till Bhabi called me over and over again.

"Are you even listening to me?" Bhabi chortled.

"Not really!" I admitted since there was no point in lying to her.

"Very funny!" she said.

I laughed and we continued talking until it was time for Maghrib prayer. As I raised my hands to my Lord and closed my eyes filled with placidity, I met with a small version of deep cerulean blue eyes with hints of dark bark behind my naturally pink coated lids. I couldn't help but whisper a small Ameen as a tiny smile turned the side of my lips upwards.

I wanted children, I really did, but it seemed like both Izhar and I were so engrossed with other things. Me with my studies and him with his work. We both loved children immensely, but never talked about having our own soon enough. Izhar always teased me perpetually that he would do this and he would do that with our kids, but what the future held for us was unknown.

As my eyes filled their hunger with the image my mind and heart had illumined, a lone tear trickled down my right eye. I sniffed and the smile never left my lips as I dragged my hands steadily down my face. I sighed and opened them, ready to pick up one corner of the teal and black Jai Namaz so I could fold it, but instead I met a face I patiently longed to see the whole day sitting by me.

Izhar.

I smiled and folded one corner of the tasseled Jai Namaz over and said, "AsSalaamualaikum."

"Walaikum asSalaam wa Rahmatullah," he answered quietly.

"You're home early," I said and tugged where my scarf was tightened around my neck and under my chin.

Both of us stared at the other as we sat on the floor across from each other.

"Yeah, I wasn't feeling too well so I decided to come back home early to my dearest," Izhar replied. He gave a timid smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

My lips turned downwards, the smile faltering, and I quickly rushed to check his forehead. My eyes widened with panic as the heat from his forehead radiated into the back of my hand. "Izhar! You have a fever," I said worriedly.

He sighed and took my hand off of his forehead, placing it securely in his. "Don't worry darling, I'll be okay! I promise, I just need to take some medication and rest," he said.

"Yes, you do! You freshen up, and I'll get dinner ready. You need to take some medication and go to bed afterwards! I don't want to hear any excuses, and no more work for the rest of the night," I ranted as I got up, put my Jai Namaz away, and placed my scarf on the bed.

He sat frozen at the spot on the floor where I was praying, both elbows on his knees, hands holding up his face. He stared at me with a faraway look. "Izhar! Are you listening?" I snapped.

Izhar's eyes glimmered, and he quickly nodded. "Yes, darling," he replied.

"Don't sit on the floor or else you'll get cold from the tiles," I claimed sadly.

I really didn't want him to be more sick than he was. He chuckled and got up, walking towards me. I folded my arms over my chest and watched him glide to me. He stopped right in front of me and had that same expectant look in his eyes. "Nour," he started.

I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. Instead he tilted his head to the side, the built in ceiling lights from above hit his tousled hair and projected rays of shine. He reached for my face with his hand and rubbed my cheek with the back of his hand, his thumb rubbing tiny circles on my cheekbone.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

He leaned forwards and rested his forehead on mine. "What's wrong with you?" he breathed against my jaw.

I shook my head confused and peered up at his eyes. "Darling, you're so engrossed in thoughts you keep away from me that you didn't even notice?" he asked gently.

"Izhar, what are you talking about?" I murmured utterly confused.

He sighed and kissed my cheek while flicking his finger over the other cheek. It was the tear that I had unnoticeably shed when my thoughts were wrapped around bearing our children with his piercing eyes. "You cry, you hurt, you covet; yet, you don't share. That's not fair," Izhar scolded and leaned back.

I looked down and played with my hands. He grabbed them in his, forcing me to look up. "I want you to share what's been bothering you these past few weeks. I want to help," he urged.

He was right, I had been bothered by this certain topic for awhile now, even way before Bhabi mentioned it. I loved children will all the tiny fragments of my heart, and it was time I wanted my own.

I simply smiled at him and cupped his cheek with my cold palm, fingering his face. "If anything bothers me, I promise I'll tell you," I said and kissed his cheek.

Izhar didn't say anything, just watched me as I made my way out, closing the door behind me and walking downstairs to prepare dinner.

Dinner ended up being a quiet affair, only a few words being exchanged between us. Every time he asked me a question, I tried my best to give him long answers and lead onto a new conversation, but my mind only let my lips spit out a few closing words with no room for further discussion on the topic. I didn't know why I was taking my frustration out on him, I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't make myself come to say anything out loud. I was worried that he wasn't ready. I knew with all my heart, soul, and mind that he would make the best daddy in the world, but something deep inside me was scared that something would go terribly wrong.

As we finished dinner, I made him take medication even though he had protested, and I had to give into his compromises with a dose of lip synchronization. That night, as I waited for him to come to bed after brushing his teeth, I pulled out one of the books from the wooden and glass bookshelf Izhar had gotten custom made for me earlier in our marriage and sat up in bed.

I stretched my legs out underneath the duvet, my back straight against the headboard. I got through the first two chapters of Pride and Prejudice when Izhar walked out of the bathroom and crawled into the bed. I didn't look up from Jane Austen's masterpiece till he laid his head in my lap and snuggled closer to my stomach, facing me.

I let out a hearty chuckle as his lips tickled my abdomen, and looked down at him. He stretched one arm above, taking my book away, and the other cascaded up and down my stomach.

"What are you doing?" I whined as he closed my book and put it on the bedside table.

"Your husband comes home after a long day of work, and you're reading? This is oppression!" he said dramatically.

I rolled my eyes down at him and said, "If I do anything aside from giving you attention, then it all becomes oppression to you."

"Hmm, exactly why you should give me all the attention in the world," he grinned toothily at me.

I shook my head at him, my lips flitted with a playful smile. I wove my hands in his head and he snuggled his head closer to my stomach. My smile fell to the pit of my stomach as my slender fingers came into contact with his blaring hot forehead. It wasn't getting any better.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and contently closed his eyes. "Izhar?" I whispered.

"Hmm," he answered tiredly.

"I'm going to get cool towels for your head," I said as I was about to untangle his arms from around me and get up.

He slightly picked up his head from my lap and tightened his arms. "Nour, I'll be fine in sha Allah. Just please don't go anywhere right now, I need my angel beside me," he pleaded.

I couldn't help but give in as his innocent eyes begged for me to stay. "You are so stubborn!" I complained and settled back into my former position. He winked at me and reached for my hands, putting them back in his glory mess of disheveled hair.

I combed my fingers through his silky locks, and his hands brushed my sides, playing with the silk pooling around my waist. I looked down at him and watched the movement of his eyeballs. His eyelashes were so unrealistically long and curly, dark shadows projected above his high and prominent cheekbones. His nose was slim, and so straight you could place a ruler next to it and not a millimeter would be out of place. The five o'clock shadow donned impeccably over and across his sharp and strong jawline, giving him defiance and a sense of intimidation.

He was perfect. Too perfect in every sense to be mine. Whenever we went out somewhere, I couldn't ignore all the glares he'd get as girls passed by. They would shamelessly check him out especially when I was there next to him, our hands locked together, wedding rings visible. They had no respect, and it made me feel like I was a nobody, as if I didn't deserve to be standing next to him, an unfortunate reality.

"Nour, I know I'm handsome, but you staring at me is making me self-conscious," Izhar said with his eyes still closed.

I glared at him from above and said, "Your eyes are closed. How do you know whether or not I'm looking at you?" I asked with a crease in the middle of my eyebrows.

His chuckle vibrated into my stomach, and he exhaled a breath. "I always know darling," he claimed.

I shook my head and continued to brush his hair with my hands. His breaths were starting to become steady, and his hold on me loosened. For some reason, I wanted him to stay with me for awhile longer before succumbing to sleep, so I was came up with random things to talk about.

"Izhar," I leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"Yes darling," he mumbled.

"Hey, what are we going to get for Sahar's birthday?" I asked.

He shrugged and kneaded his head into my stomach, rubbing his eyes with his hand. I smiled as a strand fell in his face and he kept moving his head to be rid of it. I gently stroked his eyes and the area between his eyes, trying to ease the tension and recoiled muscle. I brushed away the stubborn strand, and he smiled into my palm.

"Whatever is fine. She'll love anything we will get for her," he said.

He yawned and covered his mouth with his right hand. It was time to let him go.

"I'm going to move your head back on your pillow, okay?" I whispered and slowly moved underneath him again.

He shook his head, "No, I want to stay like this," he complained like a child.

I sighed, "You'll get a kink in your neck Izhar! Don't be stubborn," I said.

"I don't care, I'm not moving," with that he eased into my lap.

I exhaled loudly and let him stay as he was. He was the biggest baby I had to take care of, Maybe Allah knew one was enough!

After brushing is hair back from his face and his breaths became soft and deep, I turned my waist and grabbed his pillow from beside me. I didn't want to wake him up so instead of moving him to his usual spot, I replaced my lap with his pillow. The bed was more than big enough to cover both of our legs horizontally.

I slowly shifted and slipped away. I fixed the blanket around him and went downstair to get a bowl of cold water. I grabbed fresh washcloths from the ensuite and strode back to the bed. I sat the bowl and fresh linens on the bedside table and soaked one repeatedly. I gently patted Izhar's head and wiped his face and neck, after placing the cool towels on his forehead. I read Surahs and Duas and blew them over him as I dabbed the cool towel over him. It would ease the tension and pain in his nerves and an muscles, an old trick I'd picked up from Mama.

The minutes passed so quickly, turning into hours, and I slipped into bed after I was fully satisfied. I turned towards Izhar and watched his chest rise and fall in steady beats, his lips pursed lightly upwards, eyebrows relaxed atop his forehead.

I rubbed his forehead with with my index finger and thumb, smoothing away the worry lines that even his sleep didn't ease.

I had asked him about Sahar's birthday present because along with her's, his birthday was coming up as well. His was only two days after Sahar's and the second one with me, only a few months after our anniversary. We had all planned a party for Sahar's; however, Izhar didn't know that it was a surprise for him along with her. His sisters, Adam, Sabr, Anam, Bhabi, and I were all undergoing secret planning that he was completely unaware of.

As much as Izhar knew, he was to bring Sahar from the park to his parents' house where both our families, and Huda Appi's in-laws would await their presence. We were all trying hard not to spill anything in front of him, and word had it, he was suspicious of Adam.

Everything was coming together, the decorations, the food, the games, but I still didn't have a present. I had asked everyone in our families what I should buy, and they all told me to pick something that came from my heart. I couldn't think of anything, and I wanted it to be something out of this world, something intangible and unique. Something we both could hold onto forever.

I sighed and turned on my back, staring at the ceiling. I hope an idea came faster than it was. I only had days left.

******

A tangy taste itched in the back of my throat, bile rising up. The last thing I remembered was rushing out of the bedroom, running into the bathroom, and raising the lid of the toilet bowl before pouring yellow phlegm into the tides of the bleached water. My forehead felt clammy as strands of hair plastered around my face. I clutched the sides of the toilet, mentally disgusted with all the bacteria I was picking up, and choked on my own saliva.

"Nour? Darling, what happened?" Izhar yelled and ran into the bathroom.

"Ya Allah!" he muttered under his breath as he slid down to his knees beside me and held my hair back.

I tried pushing him away to no avail. "Izhar, please go. I'm fine," I didn't want him to see me like this.

I heaved into the toilet again, and Izhar pressed his forehead to the back of my head. "I'm not leaving you!" he said firmly.

My shortness of breath prevented me from arguing any further. As I finished flushing out the contents of my empty stomach, we both got up, Izhar only a few steps behind me, waiting for anything else to happen. I brushed my teeth and rinsed my mouth. I threw cold water on my face and rubbed it dry with the washcloth outstretched handle next to the glass cut mirror of the transparent and metal sink.

I rubbed my mouth with my hand, and two warm hands reached for my lower abdomen, wrapping around from the back to my front. Izhar's body was pressed from behind me, and I unintentionally leaned backwards as my eyes started to droop.

He tightened his hold on me and moved his face to the crook of my neck. "Darling, what's wrong? We need to go to the doctor right now. I'll take you to the emergency room, come on!" he said worriedly, trying to pull me away from the sink.

I sighed tiredly and turned around in his embrace, my arms bent on his hard chest. "I'm fine, it's the weather change. You know how bad my sinus can get," I whispered and could feel sleep pulling me down.

"But Nour-" he started in his demanding voice I'd heard him use often at the office with employees when I'd call.

"Shhh." I raised a hand above, gingerly touching his lips, my eyes still closed. The veins in his strong forearms vibrated against the thin material of my black nightgown. "Izhar, I am absolutely fine! You probably gave me your bug. I'm really tired, if I get some rest I'll be okay," I started stubbornly and then ended in a teasing voice, poking his stomach.

His sigh reverberated in my ears, and he clandestinely picked up my bird-like frame in his arms. He moved us back to the bedroom and tucked me in. Izhar made me drink a full glass of water before settling down next to me and running his hand from the scalp of my head all the way down to the curve in my lower back, the tendrils of my hair dancing wildly around him.

"What time is it?" I whispered, my eyeballs resting into the curves of their lidded bed.

"An hour till Fajr," Izhar's smooth and husky voice tickled my ear.

"Okay," I answered.

"You are not going to school today," he implemented.

I chuckled and raised my head up, placing it on his shoulder, "Yes, I am! The semester is almost over Izhar," I said.

"We will see when it's time," Izhar said.

"We will see," I challenged as he softly sang a beautiful lullaby in my ears.

I'd rushed out of bed hours later, as I finished up showering, getting dressed, and making breakfast. I had my first exam of the day in less than two hours, and Izhar had a meeting in one. We both speeded around the kitchen, drinking our coffee and scarfing down breakfast.

Izhar grabbed his coat from the arm of the sofa along with his messenger bag and flung around from the front door. I was only two steps behind him, and the sudden turn made my head bump into his hard as rock clavicle.

Vertigo drained my body, but before I could topple over, Izhar's solid arms caught me. I rubbed my forehead and looked up at him with one open eye.

"Ow," I yelped.

"Oh my Lord! Nour, I'm so sorry. Let me take a look, come let's go get some ice. You're so clumsy! What if you had fallen? Huh? What were you thinking?" he barfed out as he tensely rubbed my forehead.

"Izhar! It's okay, let's go before we are both late!" I said and pushed him out the door.

We didn't get far when he spoke out again. "What do you mean we? You are not going anywhere!" he crossed his muscular arms over his broad chest.

I sighed and threw my head back in frustration. "I'm fine, okay? I have an exam, and I cannot miss it under any circumstance!" I said sternly.

He looked at me for awhile debating what to say, and I mirrored him with my arms crossed over my thin frame. "Promise you'll go to the doctor and get that bug checked?" he raised one eyebrow at me.

I shook my head at him. I couldn't say no since that was the only way to coax him into letting me go to school. Plus, I hadn't even told him that I'd thrown up again when we woke up the second time around while he was in the shower.

I tilted my head to the side and kissed his cheek sloppily, walking out the front door,"Promise," I said.

We both took the elevator downstairs and went to the parking garage. He made his way to his Audi, and I was about to walk to my Infinity when he called out again. "Where do you think you are going?" he asked.

"Um, my car?" I said bluntly, pivoting around on my heel.

He held the door of the driver's side open, the other suit clad arm on top of the roof of the car. "I'll drop you off!" he said across from the lot.

"Izhar! You'll be late for the meeting, and I'm coming home early today remember because of the exam? Plus, I have to go to the orphanage today," I quickly said as I took small steps backwards towards my car.

He ran a hand through his glistening hair and winked as a straight line etched on his lips. "Fine, but tell the kids I love them, and call me when you get home," he said.

I nodded and smiled victoriously, skipping to my car. I was about to get inside when I could feel him still watching me. I turned around and caught him when he suddenly started pinking. "Izhar, you can go now!" I yelled.

"Get in first!" he said.

I huffed dramatically at his protectiveness. "And make sure you go to the doctors!" he said.

"Yes, darling!" I teased and got inside.

******

I had brought balloons for all the kids at the orphanage. Every first Jummah of the month, Izhar and I would come to the orphanage and simply spend time with them, but there would be days like today where I would come by myself to rest my heart. Baba had established this orphanage when he and Ammi were in their third year of marriage and decided to hand it down to Izhar and I when we got married.

Izhar would fund the orphanage, providing for all the children and workers, taking the responsibility of all the little lives in the city. We weren't the only orphanage in Boston, but we were the largest one. No matter where the kids were from in the state, the officials and social workers always enlisted them on our list first, and we could never say no. We were big on expanding and providing shelter for any child who needed it. They had become a big part of our lives, and also a place where I found my sanctuary. They reminded me that there was more to my profession than just the studies and title, I had little lives in my hands that I wouldn't compromise under any circumstances.

After I moved down from the eldest to the youngest group of kids, I stopped by one of the small beds in the respiratory unit. I looked around for an employee, but no one was to be found. I opened the door and made my way to the southern wing and stopped at the pink and paisley cot I'd decorated myself only a few months before. She was one of our newest editions...

Kamila.

I sighed as I saw her sleeping figure resting contently on her lavender and cranberry sheets. My eyes caught the tube that was under her nose and attached to the monitor beside her. She was 13 months old now, cuter than ever. I still remember when Diva Stanton had dropped her off herself with a few other officials and social workers.

Izhar had called them months after Kamila was taken into a small local orphanage and demanded she be brought to ours instead. She was a little white bundle of cotton that was delivered to me on the doorsteps of the orphanage. I had taken her in with open arms that didn't constrict of any joy. Even after Izhar had sponsored her and I knew she was safe, my soul still beckoned her and that gap was filled surely after.

She'd been here for awhile now, but no hunting parents declared that they wanted to take her in. She was fine after the surgery, but she still suffered with breathing conditions. We had special wards in out orphanage, and she was almost immediately subjected to cardio once she made it through the paperwork, and then moved to respiratory.

No parent wanted to be afraid every moment of their life that their adopted child be in danger with potential health risk factors. Each time she was turned down, my heart broke, but selfishly so I was happy somewhere deep down. I couldn't let her go. I couldn't forget her. I loved her. Izhar knew my feelings for her and understood, but each time the smile slipped through the disappointment of someone not wanting her, he'd remind me that sooner or later Kamila would have to go, and I'd have to let her.

The on-call pediatrician had told me she was doing better, and I could tell myself in the way, which there were less tubes attached to her, and there was a natural pink paint on her closed eyelids and soft cheeks.

I pressed my nose to her cheek and kissed her forehead while running a finger down her hand. She tightened her hold on me, clutching the finger she'd wrapped her palm around. Kamila was improving drastically ma sha Allah. She even played more and interacted with others than normal. Alhamdulllilah.

I kissed her one more time and blew a Dua for health and protection on her and then through the rest of the unit. I stopped at each cot, kissing the kids and turning off the lights as I walked back to the door. I was about to head towards my car when a pungent smell from the dining hall flared in my nostrils. My stomach churned, and I clutched my stomach with one hand and my mouth with the other.

I ran down the hall and behind the massive staircase towards the women's bathroom as bile rose up in my throat. I threw up all the contents of my stomach from breakfast to lunch, and the dizzying feeling from this morning pounded my head one more time.

"Nouran dear! Are you okay? I saw you rush out of the hallway," Zartasha Aunty, the headmistress asked.

I sprayed cold water on my face and turned to her, my back to the black marble sinks. "I'm fine, I've been feeling like this all day," I breathed heavily, my eyes casted downwards trying to figure out what was going on.

If it was Izhar's bug from the previous week, then how come he hadn't thrown up? There wasn't anything going around that I knew of that I could've potentially picked up.

Zartasha Aunty spoke up as I contemplated endless possibilities that led me to dead ends in my mind. "If you don't mind, may I suggest something dear?"

I looked up at her and she had a glowing smile on her lips. Her cat-like eyes were laden in kohl, the lines around her mouth were deep as she broadly smiled at me. She was one of Ammi's dear friends who didn't have any children and her husband had died years back. She'd dedicated her life to the orphanage as Ammi's camaraderie after his death early in their years of marriage. Zartasha Aunty never remarried even though she was very young at the time, and loved Izhar dearly as if he were her own son.

She always dressed in white, looking like an angel who'd helped the orphanage through thick and thin. In the earlier years when Ammi and Baba were struggling, she had given them hope that one day their hard work would pay off, and Alhamdullilah it did. Baba had become one of the biggest business tycoons both nationally and internationally, raising three very successful and humble children.

"Of course Aunty, you are like a mother to me," I said and clasped her hands in mine.

She was always so simply dressed, wearing no makeup except for kohl, and no visible jewelry except the golden ring her husband had given her on their first night of marriage.

Zartasha Aunty smoothed my ponytail back and caressed my cheek with both her skin and bone hands. "Dearie, I think I know what may be causing this," she indicated toward the sink behind us.

I looked down at her with a confused look, and she smiled at me even more. She took one of my hands from hers and placed it directly above my navel. She tilted her head to the side and slowly nodded as my expression changed a million times, my mind trying to put face to my thoughts.

No, it couldn't be possible.

"Aunty, I- " I started softly. I ended up gasping and catching my tongue before I could continue.

"Sweetie, it's a possibility," she nodded and picked up my chin with her hand.

I shook my head and looked down at my shoes. I wanted it to be a possibility, but....

"When was the last time you had your cycle," she asked motherly.

I blushed underneath her gaze and she gently chuckled with her soft, aged voice.

It had been nine weeks ago... nine weeks since I was supposed to have my cycle again. It did cross my mind, but I hadn't given much thought to it since it was my kind of regular to have an irregular cycle. Though it had started to get better. A lot better since Izhar.

I covered both my cheeks in shame and Aunty's laughter flitted away. "Oh dear, I may not have any children of my own, but I know it when I see it. I'm not getting any younger, and you my dear are just living your life. As a mother, I think you should check," she teased.

She uncovered my hands wrapped around my face and tightly held them in her hands. I kept my gaze downwards, my cheeks still flushing with hundreds of emotions, each one popping like a red blood vessel.

"Hey, I hope I didn't offend you dear," she said trying to catch my attention.

I quickly looked up and shook my head at her. I pulled her tight against my chest and smiled at the big mirror behind her.

"No, you're like my mother. You have every right," I reassured her.

Her small, fragile frame hugged me back and after we both pulled away, Zartasha Aunty finally caught my wide, frightened and ecstatic eyes in hers. "I promise I won't tell anyone. Now go and check! And whether or not there are doubts, go to the doctor first thing tomorrow. You and Izhar habibi deserve all the happiness in the world my love. May Allah make my assumption true, and if not, there's still time," she blessed.

I thanked her with one more hug and a kiss on her cheek. That night, I drove home with the biggest smile on my face, every once in awhile I'd touch my belly. I wanted to call Mama and tell her everything, but I had to be sure myself before anything else. And Izhar... just thinking about it gave me butterflies.

Before going to the penthouse, I stopped by one of the local drugstores, picking up multiple pregnancy tests. I felt unconscious and anxious as the cashier ringed me up, this was the first time I was purchasing the pink and feminine looking boxes, and there was no way around the look the young girl gave me from behind the counter.

I almost literally ran out of the store and into my car, as if someone was following me. The glares customer behind me gave my frilly boxes did not go unnoticed. Was it because I am young? I mean there were pregnant teenagers, and I'm pretty sure my wedding rings were on display the whole time I walked to and fro the store.

Nouran, stop being so irrational. You're just paranoid!

I managed to get home before Izhar after spending the whole second half of my day at the orphanage. Great, now I had time to distress all the worries. I'd dropped the first box twice before finally opening it and staring at the white and pink stick. Oh. My. Allah. I couldn't believe I was doing this.

You'd think being an RN for almost three years now would make this seem like a piece of cake, but the truth was: I was ridiculously mortified. I had to calm myself over and over again in the bathroom before I did the process. I prepared myself as I waited on the edge of the bathtub for the results. There was a 97% chance that the results would be accurate.

What if I wasn't pregnant? I felt as if I wanted to be more than ever, knowing the fact that it was a high possibility. The morning sickness, the vertigo I'd been feeling for weeks now, the way my stomach would clench at the sight of food, which Izhar had labeled my excuse as to not eat.

The pieces were coming together... but I just didn't know what that unknown feeling was turning my knees jelly. I knew what I had to do! I'd pray to my Lord and seek comfort in the beauty of prayer. There was only one way to rest my heart, and that was by setting it forth Allah in Sujood.

I looked the other way, as I passed the waiting stick underneath the toilet. I'd faced it downwards just in case so I didn't glance at it till I knew I was ready for sure. I made Wudu and prayed two rakah Nafl, pouring out my heart.

After delivering the last Salaam down my left shoulder, I raised my hands to the Almighty and prayed that this feeling of excitement and scariness be real, and that if it wasn't, I wouldn't be discouraged. I made my way very carefully to the bathroom and closed my eyes as I grabbed the take home pregnancy test and sat on the covered toilet lid.

Bismillah.

I opened one eye and then two... there was a clear pink plus sign on full display before my eyes. My mouth fell wide open, and I uncannily looked around the bathroom for some sudden jolt of shock to absorb me. OH. MY. ALLAH. This had to be a dream; this was surreal.

I closed my eyes from the impact that had taken me by storm and breathed in and out through my nose. Maybe I was just imagining the whole thing. I slowly counted to ten in my hand and took another deep breath before opening both of my eyes simultaneously.

The bright pink plus sign stared back at me. I gulped and tears formed at the corners of my eyes. I touched my free hand to my stomach. My fingers were frozen, only working based on my sensory stimuli.

I was pregnant? My lips wobbled as I looked down at my hand, fully touching my lower abdomen. A smile broke through my tears.

There was a little bug inside me indeed. A part of me, and a part of Izhar. I sniffed and laughed at myself as I painted endless pictures in my head of how Izhar would react. But then something hit me. This was my first time, and I didn't want to say anything unless I was certain that there was a baby inside of me.

Oh my gosh, there's another human forming inside of me? I couldn't wrap my head around how ecstatic I was. I was pretty sure that I was way more overwhelmed than my brain had let me register.

I wiped away my tears and grabbed another box. It didn't hurt to check one more time. After repeating the process, even though I didn't delay in checking the results this time, I was positive there was a bug inside of me.

I sighed contently after washing my hand. I made my way to the bedroom and walked back and forth as I scrutinized multiple ways that I'd break the news to Izhar. My excitement was overflowing, and I had wanted to call my family and Anam, but I held myself back. I needed and wanted to tell him first, but most importantly, I needed to go to the doctor tomorrow.

I wrapped my hands around me and bit my lip as Izhar consumed my thoughts. How would I tell him? Would he be happy? Ya Allah, I hope he'd be blissful.

"Nour! I'm home!" Izhar's voice yelled from downstairs.

He was finally home! I ran out of the room but stopped at the top of the staircase as I watched him aimlessly roam around the main floor looking for me. I couldn't tell him quite yet. I needed to the perfect time to break the news!

I choppily walked down the glass slabs of the staircase as I thought about a unique way of telling him. Hmm, what and when would be the perfect way and time?

As he turned around and smiled at me, a lightbulb went off in my head. I smiled back at him and threw a prayer up to Allah. I had the perfect idea planned.

Thoughts? I'd love to hear them! Are you guys excited? :) How do you think Nouran will break it to Izhar? I know some of you were dying for this! Like I said, please vote and comment! Your comments will make me feel so much better and brighten up my day. And one more request: I have a practical tomorrow, so please, please, please keep me in your Duas! I was going to update after tomorrow, but I couldn't contain my excitement. ;) Goodnight beautiful people all across the world! PLEASE vote, comment, and make Dua for me! Keep me in your hearts, you guys are always in mine.