• They accused him "You are toxic for her!", She held his hand and stood beside him "If he is toxic for me then even oxygen is toxic for human being..".. •

***

Manik's pov

It's true no matter how far you run away from the sins you committed​, they never stop chasing you. And my sins are never going to leave my path, they'll stay with me like shadow. All this while I was trying my best to change certain things, to give myself a chance, to come out of self loathing but Arnav's words worked as salt to the open wounds of mine and he isn't wrong either apparently I have committed several crimes and the biggest sin was of ripping a pure soul, killing an un-born and also I have taken all the peace from her. She is not safe with me, am not right for her but she is the only one for me. And this thought breaks me in zillion pieces every second.

I have fallen in love with the person I shouldn't have, I am craving for that girl who isn't written in my destiny, Am a beast but she can never be my beauty because that was a fairy tale and this is the ugliest reality of practical world.

Am Manik Malhotra- the sinner and this is my self made hell, am require to rot here till death. All these unholy thoughts made me weak in my knees and I fall badly on the ground with a loud thud. Tears cascading down, they're not stopping today and they aren't supposed to be, how can I forget rather to say how dare I to forget what I have done in my past?. Am living with a girl who has only showered love on me and in return what I did to her? I snatched her peace and left her hanging between life and death.

"I miss you, I miss us. Can I ever be able to forgive myself? Will you forgive me ever?"..I cried inconsolably and perhaps heaven again witnessed my desolating state..

When I heard footsteps approaching, I instantly recognized that soft jingling of anklets, it belongs to her, she is very near, she might see me like this and then she'll question me which I can't answer. I instantly grabbed all my strength and stood up on my feet physically but mentally my soul is still on the ground, crying badly, yearning of her warmth, longing for her sweet comforting words.

After a long time, today am missing my maa..

Nandini : "Manik?, Are you okay?"..she asked as she came in light, even from the distance I was able to figure out that it's her because my eyes don't require to see her as my heart feels her presence even before her physical appearance in the scene..

"Yes I am!"..and my voice came out shattered than ever, although I tried my best not to look in her eyes but I can feel her piercing gaze which is again accusing me for lying to her.

Nandini : "Practically you are looking anything but fine. What's wrong?.."..she demanded an answer and now her pierced gaze turned to stern and curious. All my heart is doing right now, pumping at it's fastest rate as it very strongly wants to come out and mold with her...

"Am missing someone very badly today.."..and the utterly honest confession escaped my lips, I realized am no longer that same Manik who used to lie while staring in her eyes, now even if I try all I can do is recall all the shit I have done in my past life. And boom! Rush of memories, rush of guilt, rush of pain and again everything comes back to square one ..

Nandini : "Who?"..a small agonizing tone escaped out and fell in my ear drums, and in an instant I felt bad because I know she must be assuming someone else in my life but how can I explain to her that my every breath, every beat takes her name only..

• Mate please hold me tight before I fall badly in this dark night.. •

"Maa!"..that one word escaped like a prayer enchanted wholeheartedly, the word which had no relevance for me initially, today is actually the base of everything. I noticed her eyes shining more than anything today, as if that word has evoked something in her, as if she is trying very arduously to gauge everything comprises in that three alphabets..

"Maa!"..she murmured underneath her breathe but I heard her, there is enormous power in her accent as if she is trying to analyze every little thing about the word and for a brief moment my stomach tied in a tight knot, I felt like she is going to figure out the story behind the word and the thought itself made me nuts. All I want her right now to speak something instead of looking directly in my eyes and caught me off guard.

Nandini : "Then you should call her.."..her plain simple sentence made me feel like jump off the cliff and hang on the edge till my hands are bruised and willingly leave the edge, how can I tell her that I lost all the rights​? I lost everything beautiful that I ever had, how can I tell her that I lost her in the hands of my own male ego..

"I can't! We aren't on talking terms. But..."..before I could complete my sentence, she held my hand and her eyes bored in mine.

Nandini : "But you love her. Isn't it?"..her words came like a strong cold pair of breeze in the scorching summer, her words eventually soothe my agonizing soul.

"Hmm! I love her, I love her more than anything else in this world. Whatever am today it's her gift to me, a blessing, a favor which I can never be able to repay back. "..a plain, straight forward honest confession escaped from my mouth and for the first time in the long time I felt peaceful, like a heavy weight lifted off my shoulder. And she is Looking at me with a warm beautiful smile on her face, it's really soothing to be able to see her without any restriction.

• Darling when you're standing so close to me, I've no fear of falling on knee.. •

She held my hand more tightly and moved closer, her eyes shining like a diamond under the sunlight and I held my breath back, she standing so close to me manages to stand hair on my body.

Nandini : "When we love someone we should never keep it in our heart, perhaps later time don't permit us to let our heart out so grab the opportunity and make things right in the present only... ".. her eyes bored in me, her breath mingled with mine and her words evoke the part of mine who loves her unconditionally and the twinkling in her eyes clearly explains that she is able to see that side of mine as not even for once I resist her invasion in my personal space..

"Nandini, we are too close.."..I murmured helplessly as my raging heartbeat is betraying me right now, my own reaction to her closeness is badly ditching my calculative mind as if my heart is ruling over my soul right now and in next moment I won't be able to resist the temptation..

Nandini : "You look scared Manik.."..she mocked with a wry smile playing on her lips and all I was wishing she step back anyhow as I am loosing control over me..

"You should move back.."..I suggested in almost inaudible tone but I seriously doubt that she heard me as an opposite effect she moved more closer to me..

Nandini : "This feels good, safest than ever. Like am in some kind of paradise where every fairy herself has painted the magical colors on the wall, where everything screams only one thing....."..she stopped abruptly and moved closer to my ear, all I can feel my heartbeat and her breath falling on my skin but as she leaned more closer my heart skipped a beat..

Nandini : "Love!"..and that one word manage to break all the walls I ever constructed, there was such intensity, such passion in her tone that it eradicate all the shitty thoughts which crossed my mind lately..

• My heart beats only for you, trust me darling am still alive only for you.. •

She moved back and I can see the shining smile on her lips, and her eyes proclaiming so much to me but am not able to decode anything, although my heart perhaps recognized what her eyes communicating me..

"You believe in love Nandini?"..out of the blue I asked something I regret asking as am sure as hell don't wanna know the answer may be am too scared of her theories she might throw in my way ..

She gave me her beaming smile and look straight in my eyes which made my instinct more sure about her positive answer.

Nandini : "I believe, and if we cease to believe in love then why would we want to live Manik??"..her honest opinion made me shut for thousands year, I knew that she is the only person who can shut me up and at the same time arise millions of questions in my mind.

I only kept mum as she waited patiently for my turn to speak up but I have nothing to tell her. Am surely alive on the believe I have on love, I have on us and I can't put it in words what type of believe I have in my heart because some part of me screams only ill about me and some part yell in pain for the good in me..

Nandini : "I want to tell you something but not like this, we should get in, it's my performance. Let's go.."..she held my hand with a beaming smile and all I want to get lost in her totally..

Just when we started moving in the direction​ to the door, I saw Cabir coming in our way and his eyes stuck on me then moved to our joined hand, and the fire in his eyes clearly explain how badly he loathe the sight..

Nandini : "Hey Cabir.."..she greeted him in her sweet alluring accent and all my heart is doing is admiring the angelic beauty standing with the worst demon i.e Me...

Cabir : "If you don't mind can I have a word with Manik?"..he very formally but calmly asked her, she looked baffled for a minute but then let go of my hand which I personally disliked.

Nandini : "Sure! I'll wait for you inside. Come before my performance.."..she told me strictly at the end as if ordering me which made my heart swing in glee. I nodded to her with a calm smile and she walked away after giving me her beautiful shining smile which linger in my eyes for a very long time..

• I don't know what's written in my destiny, all I wonder is how we'll write our story amidst of galore enemies.. •

Once Nandini left Cabir looked at me with something very unusual and I can't deny the fact that one person who used to love me beyond measure today loathe me to the core, he hates me and I have given him several reasons for it but how I wish miraculously any day I get my buddy back but slowly and steadily am loosing all the hopes. We both kept quiet but then Cabir walked closer to me and I know exactly​ what he is going to warn me from so before he speaks something which pierce my already wounded bleeding heart I said something may be I shouldn't or may be I should..

Manik : "Stop it Cabir, I am tired. Four years of hatred is enough for me now, I did wrong actually I did some horrible things which surely has no forgiveness. But I learned hard way, there is no point holding grudges. They make life difficult. Learn to forgive. Learn to let go.. "..I don't know what came in my heart that I speak in such strict manner to him but I can see my words have left some impact on him..

Cabir stood silent and I walked out from there without saying anything more, I think I have enough of this now. I know I have committed some unforgivable crimes in my life but till what time I'll be judged on the basis of  my past record, every person deserves a chance to start afresh may be I too.

May be! ..my subconscious yelled in pain with uncertainty that pricked in my heart badly but still I walked out from the scene silently as I can't bear any more torture to my already tortured soul..

***

Oops! Promo part not included in this update, sorry for that. I tried my best to put all the scenes in this chapter but as I started writing I end up describing each and every action and reaction.

My first week on the new job was fantastic. Missed you all a lot ..Sachi 😘😘

Love...
Your storyteller ❤😘