Beginning that hasn’t begun…

Mauli wiped her hands on her jeans, took a deep breath and sat down on what remained of a rock wall. They were still shaking - her hands, she fisted them and closed her eyes for a moment focusing on inhaling and exhaling. The sirens were still going in a distance, she wasn’t sure if it was more saviors arriving or those that did leaving with the men they arrested. For a very brief moment she wondered about the man they operated on - who was still unconscious by the time the peace - keeping forces arrived to help. Dr. Ranee had pronounced his vitals were good, even in the circumstances her voice had been professional and unfazed. As if it was not the first time Dr. Randhawa had put her through something so demanding.

She frowned involuntarily as the insolent man crossed her mind. The plan was to simply pick him up while they drove towards the camp, and go - needless say Ranee had never mentioned that part could be so sinisterly tricky. Trouble seemed to come looking for him just like the group of terrorists who had taken them hostage had done.

The man in question however was looking for her, with a bottle of water as a token of peace. Mauli looked at him questioningly not sure if she was doubtful about the water, the bottle or the man himself.

“I’d have brought an apple,” Atish offered meekly, his expression sincerely blank. “But I’ve been hit by one before and it hurts awfully lot.” He rubbed his left ear as if from memory, flinching.

Mauli looked up at him, trying to hold into her grudge a moment longer. Oh…she was beginning to see what Ranee meant.

“Whatever makes you think you are supposed to give me either?”

“Good conscious you see,” he popped down beside her, placing the water bottle between them. “I’ve caused you trouble Dr. Mauli - we started on a very wrong wheel.”

Mauli wasn’t entirely convinced whether he was mocking her or not and then she made the mistake of peering into his eyes. Atish Randhawa had magnets instead. She was sure she had a very good come back ready a moment before - something that reminded him that he was the one who put her under the gun of a half mad fugitive. But then she was focusing on inhaling instead.

“I didn’t think my good will mattered to you much,” she said with a shrug instead. “To be honest for a moment back there I thought you took me to be your intern or something…” There - she let her voice trail off, proud of herself for recalling it just in time.

Mauli looked at Atish carefully, trying to judge his reaction. She expected disappointment, or at least a defensive stance. Instead the man was staring at the sky overhead, his shoulders relaxed and hair tousled in the wind. God - he needs a hair cut - she thought to herself and cleared her throat.

“On the other hand - I’ll be gone in a month, you don’t have to worry about having a jaan - e - dushmani with me.”

“Oh I think I’d not,” he agreed with a shrug and turned to meet her eyes. “- have a jaani dushmani with you.” He flashed her a smile, getting up and wiping his hands on his jeans in a careless manner. “You are too pretty for that -”

With an impervious wink and a flash of a smirk he was gone, whistling a tune she couldn’t place with his hands in his pockets.

Mauli blew out a breath, scowling after him. Was he really flirting with her right now? Shaking her head at the prospect of someone so annoying could pass out as a doctor she unscrewed the bottle and took a sip. A long last her hands were steady again.

**

Inventories always left her head throbbing and her mood foul. But they had always been a part of Mauli’s life. Ironically it was the only part of her life that had followed her across the borders. She thought rubbing her eyes as she looked around trying to locate the next item on the list. It wasn’t there. She concluded after circulating the cupboard for the third time and circled the item on the list before moving to the next. That was when Jina put her head in.

Mauli had only seen the girl from far the other day, distantly noticing she was Chinese or Korean (she was never very good at telling them apart) and resembled a doll more than a doctor. Ranee had mentioned her in the passing - she came on Atish’s insistence. They’ve worked together for red cross before. The two did seem to share a good rapport, Mauli had seen them sharing tea and laughing like two high school- ers the other day.

“Hello, doc!” The girl - Jina skipped in, beaming at her. “Can I just hug you for doing this? God - I’ve been unloading, stocking and taking inventories for the last few months and its a nightmare. Things often vanish overnight.”

Mauli shook her head, trying to get rid of the surprise at being addressed with so familiarity. Jina took a step back.

“Oh okay then I guess not.”

“I didn’t mean that -” Mauli chuckled. “I’m just having a mild headache.” As if to prove her point she rubbed her temple and smiled at Jina. “So where do vanished objects go?”

“In to non being,” Jina said seriously. Then giggled. “No I mean that depends on the thing itself. If it’s glucose the kids just nick them when they get the chance. If it’s the medicine they are probably misplaced or in the worst case stolen.”

“That kind of things happen here?”

“Money is always an issue in rebuilding countries.” Jina said wisely. “These people are in desperate situations - they do unforgivable things sometimes.”

“Like the men the other day…” Mauli mused.

“Uh ha,” Jina seated herself in front of the other cupboard and started on a part of the inventory herself. “Which is why they say war teaches you what life do not - or something like that” she shook her head. “My point is we’ve become more forgiving towards most.”

“You don’t have to do that -” Mauli tried to protest.

“Oh its okay - lemme help.” Jina waved her away, working across the list in a rapid speed. “I’d rather do it with a friend you know.”

Since she did not stop to study Mauli’s reaction Jina did not see her hand stopping midway from checking a label at her remark. Mauli breathed slowly, so that Jina would not hear her. Of cause this place taught many things. The newest discovery that Mauli had made was that friendships made her pause. She was not sure if she was ready to dive in and find betrayal at its depth once more. She inhaled and realized it was not Jina or the prospect of her friendship that made her uncomfortable. It was simply the fact that the word it self brought back memories she would rather keep buried.

Of cause it taught many things. Mauli was still learning how deep her wounds run. The numbness had begun to lift and the pain was yet to come. With a jolt of surprise she realized that she had not thought of her soon to be ex - husband in a while.

**
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