Hey folks! So here was a little something from Shiva's perspective. Hope you lot enjoy this too! I know we have Shiva's pain in the show and don't need me to add to our miseries, but sadly this story has already been written, so please bear with me. I promise a happy ending though. 🙈😁💖

Also did I mention I absolutely adore using song lyrics for chapter names?  😍😬

So without further ado, here goes!

Shiva sat atop his tree, his broken heart making him quiver. A pained moan escaped his marble lips as the feeling of being stabbed in the heart intensified. He didn't know it was possible to feel this shattered. He ran his fingers through his tousled hair, mussing it up further.

He shut his eyes tight, trying to stop the juxtaposition of her memories. Memories he no longer had any rights to. They belonged to his brother. She belonged to his brother. Oh! How he wished things were different! If only he could turn back time, he'd do everything he could to make her realize just how much he loves her.

His mind went back to a few hours back and his broken heart shattered a little bit more.

He had been in Ahmedabad for the past 3 days. Gaumbi wanted him to talk to some suppliers there and he didn't trust anyone else to deal with them. When he returned the first thing he wanted was to get a glimpse of his Chipkali. He can barely function without seeing her face, hearing her voice. She was his personal brand of drug and boy was he addicted!

He freshened up quickly and turned to go to the store when Dhara Bhabhi stopped him.

"Arre Shiva abhi toh aya hai! Main khana lagati hu. Pehle khana khaa le. Fir rest kar lena. Aaj teri chutti hai dukaan se."

"Nahi Bhabhi. Main thik hu ekdam. Aap khana de do. Fir main dukaan ho aunga ek baar." Shiva wanted to be there at the shop when Raavi came over for her daily visits.

"Accha thik hai pehle khana khaa le."

Shiva was stuffing himself full of the scrumptious spread when Raavi sauntered into the house, boisterously calling out for her Dhara Di. Her eyes locked with his and a smile lit up her entire face.

"Shivaaaaa!!!! Tu kab aya???"

Her enthusiastic welcome filled his heart with peace and he felt a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Seeing her after 3 days felt like the first shower after a long drought. He schooled his expressions into his usual scowl and glared at her.

"Tu phir aa gayi!?! Apna ghar nahi hai kya tera?? Maami ne bhi bhaga diya kya jo tu jab dekho idhar padi rehti hai??"

"Ab tu adaat daal le Shiva. Ab toh main yahi aane waali hu woh bhi bohot bohot jald."

"Tujhe kaha tha na. Yeh shaadi toh hone se rahi. Phir bhi wahi ratt lagaye baithi hai??"

"Arre ab tu kuch ni kar sakta. Ab toh bohot der ho chuki hai." Raavi shot back grinning widely.

Shiva looked her apprehensively, her words distressing him increasingly. Dhara came out of the kitchen at that moment.

"Arre Raavi tu aa gayi? Chal aa mere saath. Main tujhe shagun ki saree dikha deti hu. Kal puja mein wahi pehenna hai." Dhara turned to Shiva. "Ab toh mere akele ghar sambhalne ke din gaye. Ab se jo bhi chahye hoga apni nayi bhabhi ko bolna." Shiva looked up started at Dhara's words.

"Kya matlab Bhabhi?"

"Arre Dev aur Raavi ki shaadi fixed ho gayi hai! Ab tum dono chuhe billi ki tarah ladna bandh kar dena. Rishta badal gaya hai tum dono ka. Bhabhi banne wali hai teri, gadhera." Dhara caressed his cheeks, smiling.

Raavi turned to look at Shiva grinning widely but her smile faltered at the turmoil in his stormy eyes. She looked at him in confusion and shock. Shiva shut his eyes and turned away.

"Chal Raavi. Tujhe saree de du main. Shiva khana khatam kar le jaldi."

Raavi gave one last glance to him before following Dhara Di out of the room.

Shiva's heart was pounding in his ears, as he watched their retreating backs. He stopped listening after Dhara announced Dev and Raavi's wedding. He felt sick inside—a combination of wanting to lie down and sleep his life away and crumple to his knees and vomit all over the floor. He felt his lungs constricting, as if trying to suffocate him to death.

His world was crumbling down and he had no one to blame but himself. He choked back his sobs as a lone tear streaked down his eye. He could no longer think and all he could do was escape the suffocating air as soon as possible. His legs moved on his own accord and before he could realize he was staring at the tree in front of him.

Shiva took a rattling breath, trying to bite back the sobs threatening to escape before giving up completely. He broke down, tears streaming down in torrents and he let an agonized scream out.

Hours passed and the skies darkened. Shiva was still sitting on his tree when his phone rang. Gaumbi! They must be worried about his whereabouts. He picked up the call.

"Haan Gaumbi. Kya hua? Sab thik hai?"

"Woh toh tu batayega Shiva! Kaha hai tu? Ghar mein sab pareshan ho rahe hai. Tu bina bataye kaha chala gaya tha??"

"Woh kuch nahi Gaumbi. Bas ek kaam adhoora tha woh karne gaya tha. Abhi ghar hi aa rha hu."

"Accha thik hai jaldi aa jaa."

Shiva disconnected the phone and put it away. He took in a few calming breaths. For the sake of his family he had to give her up. He loved her to the point of insanity, yes. But her happiness was way more precious than his feelings. He would let go of her - for her sake. He jumped down the tree and proceeded towards home. No point in worrying his family over his broken heart.

*****

Dhara paced the floor as she waited for Shiva to return. She couldn't shake off the feeling that something was wrong. She could feel it in her heart. She glanced anxiously towards the doorway, Gaumbi said Shiva was on his way home. But it's been over an hour. Where was Shiva?

Just then Shiva entered the house and Dhara rushed towards him, engulfing him in a hug.

"Shiva! Kaha chala gaya tha tu? Pata hai kitna pareshaan ho gayi thi main!?" Dhara said, smacking his head.

"Arre Dhara! Saans to lene de use. Aate hi interrogation shuru kar di tune." Gaumbi chuckled coming towards them. "Waise Shiva. Tu gaya kaha tha. And kaunsa kaam aa gya tha yeh?"

"Woh Gaumbi. Tha ek purana adhoora kaam. Wahi poora karne gaya tha." Shiva glanced away from them. "Bhabhi main thak gaya hu. Main sone jaa rha hu. Aap log bhi so jayiye. And sorry meri wajah se aap sabko itni takleef huyi. Ab aap pareshaan mat ho. Sab thik hai."

"Lekin Shiva khana - ?"

"Bhook nahi hai Bhabhi. Aaplog so jayiye. Mujhe bhukh lagegi toh main khaa lunga. Chalo goodnight." Shiva walked away.

Dhara looked at him go. There was something wrong with him. Her motherly instincts prickled as she stared after him. He wouldn't meet their eyes and his voice cracked when he tried to convince them that everything was fine. Her child was in pain but why? What happened in merely a few hours?

"Gaumbi sab thik hai na? Shiva itna pareshaan kyu lag rha tha?"

"Tu kya keh rahi hai Dhara? Sab thik toh hai."

"Pata nahi Gaumbi. Mera dil baitha jaa raha hai. Kuch toh sahi nahi hai mere Shiva ke saath. Woh kuch sehma hua sa lag raha hai mujhe."

"Thak gaya hoga Dhara. Aaj hi toh aya hai. Tu toh jaanti hai Shiva ko. Waha 3 din bas kaam kara hoga. Aaj bhi aate hi phir kisi kaam se nikal gaya. Ek kaam karte hai. Kal use chutti de dete hai. Araam karega toh thik ho jayega."

"Hmmmm. Shayad tum sahi ho. Mera Shiva kitna karta hai ghar ke liye."

"Woh toh hai! Chal. Tu Shiva ke liye khana alag se rakh de. Usko bhukh lagegi toh raat ko khana dhoondne rasode mein pohoch jayega."

"Saaru."

*****

Shiva opened the drawer in his wardrobe and pulled out the object from its resting place. He shut his eyes thinking of that day when this thing found it's way to him.

Shiva wanted some peace but apparently peace was on vacation today. He wanted to sit by the ghats and enjoy the breeze but to his rotten luck, his favourite spot was occupied by his least favourite person in the world.

"Yeh Chipkali ne kasam khaa rakkhi hai mujhe chain se jeene naa dene ki."

Shiva grumbled, turning to leave when he heard a choked sob and he stopped in his tracks. He turned around startled when he realised Raavi was actually crying. He wanted to leave - he had no experience with crying women and how to deal with them. But contrary to his thoughts, he found himself moving forward to sit beside her instead.

"Ae Maami ki behen ki beti! Aankhon ka naal kyu chala ke rakkha hai? Triveni Ghat to bharne ka contract tune liya hai kya?" Shiva tried to provoke her into responding but only received a sob in return.

"Kya ho gaya Chipkali. Kyu Ganga Jamuna baha rahi hai?"

"Shiva please abhi nahi. Tu jaa yaha se."

When Shiva refused to budge, Raavi huffed out in frustration, getting up to leave but stopped because of the hand on her wrist. Raavi looked at their joined hands and then at Shiva. Shiva could see something inside her shift before she hugged him tight and breaking down in tears.

Shiva looked at the shivering girl in his arms and rubbed her back awkwardly. Crying women made him uncomfortable. He wasn't the right person to console someone. He had no idea why he stopped her from leaving.

He sighed. He wasn't the right person but he was the only person here and this Chipkali needed him right now. He wrapped his arms around her and felt her tighten her hold on him, burrowing further into his chest. He stroked her hair, murmuring words of comfort in her her ears as her sobs died down eventually. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and cupped her face, gently swiping away her tears with his thumb.

"Ho gaya rona dhona? Ab batayegi kya hua?"

"Kuch nahi." Raavi bit out and hugged him again. "Bas mann accha nahi lag raha."

"Kisine kuch kaha kya?" Shiva asked her, still stroking her hair. "Agar kisino marna warna hai toh bol de."

Raavi gave a watery chuckle.

"Apni kismat ko marna hai Shiva. Bol maar payega?"

"Aaj college mein sab baat kar rahe the family ke barein mein. Ki family kitni important hoti hai. Sukh dukh mein saath hoti hai. Akela mehsoos nahi hota hai family ke saath. But meri toh koi family hi nahi hai. Jab insaan duniya se pareshaan hota hai toh ghar jaata hai. Apne ghar, apno ke paas rehte hi sab thik ho hi jaata hai. Mera toh koi ghar hi nahi. Akeli hoon bilkul. Toh main kaha jau??" Raavi whispered, staring blankly into space.

Shiva shut his eyes at her words, his arms tightened around her. How dumb is this girl?! How can she not see how much everyone loved her??

"Tu pagal hai?? Pata tha tera dimag chipkali wala hai pan aaj pata chala tujhme toh woh bhi nahi hai!" Shiva turned her face towards him. "Main Maami se nafrat karta hoon. Pan yeh toh mujhe bhi dikhta hai ki woh tujhse kitna pyaar karti hai. Mama, Mami, woh Anita kya woh tera parivaar nahi?? Aur woh kaafi nahi tha toh Dhara Bhabhi aur Gaumbi bhi toh hai. Woh kitna pyaar karte hai tujhse. Maa, Krish, Dev kya woh tere apne nahi?"

Raavi's hazel eyes widened as his words registered in her brain. A slow smile spread across her face and she wiped her tears hurriedly.

"Aur tu?" Raavi asked chuckling.

"Main kya?" Shiva stared at her confused.

"Tu bhi mera apna hai?"

"Ae Maami ki behen ki beti. Main aur tera apna?? Bhaang peeke ayi hai kya?"

"Abhi toh tune bola ki Dhara Di, Gaumbi, Dev sab mere apne hai. Ab tu bhi toh isi parivaar ka hai toh tu bhi toh mera hi hua naa?"

"Parivaar ka hoon. Par tere hisse mein nahi aata samjhi."

"Chal koi naa. Abhi nahi maan raha lekin ek din tu khud accept karega ki tu mere hi hisse mein aata hai. Ab chal mujhe ganne ka juice pila. Itne aasoon bahaye hai ki mujhe dehydration ho gaya hai." Raavi got up, dusting her clothes and running off towards the stalls.

Shiva shook his head at her idiosyncrasies before following her.

It wasn't until he came home, did he see the souvenir she left on his shirt when she hugged him. He plucked it off his shirt and stared at the lone earring. He knew he should return it to her but he found himself hiding it in his drawer instead.

Shiva came out of his musings when he heard a window slam. He put the earring back into the drawer and shut it. It's been 4 years now. He cannot return it to her without any explanation and all his explanations would make him sound like a creepy stalker. And he didn't have the heart to throw it away. He didn't have the heart to part with it at all. He wasn't ready to say goodbye. Not yet. He'd wait a little longer. Just a little bit more.

..........to be continued.