Dont ask how mpreg even got in here im literally writing this at 4am...oops

Shrek woke up in his onion bed and checked hjs Ophone for the time and date. His home smelled like rotten onions and body ogre, Shrek realizes he's been asleep for at least a week.
  Last week...Shrek felt some onion juice slip out of his wide ogre eyes but he quickly wiped it away. Longingly, he ran his giant green palms against the bed he was on. He wished someone could be here with him. You see last week he caught Fiona and Prince Charming in bed and killed Prince Charming. Then Shrek proceeded to divorce Fiona and leave her with the kids who are actually prince Charming's. After that Shrek spent the rest of his evening at a strip club, fucking strippers while watching some dance.
 
In the midst of Shrek wallowing in his self-pity there was a frantic, yet gentle knock at the door.

    Without even realizing it shrek yelled, "GET OUT OF ME SWAAAMMP!!!" Quickly before whoever was behind the door could run he opened the door to apologize.

    Standing there was a young man, around 20 years old. He had, soft brown eyes, juicy lips and a very round stomach he was clutching onto. The young man was clearly an anime protagonist, a brown cap over his silky, smooth pink, hair. Even though he was covered in dirt, grime, and tears. Shrek could see his beauty.

The young man didn't need to communicate what was going on, he groaned loudly and grabbed the bottom of belly and Shreks hand, when fluid started gushing out from his private bits. Slowly Shrek lead that shaky man to Shreks bed and laid him down. The young man muttered a shaky "thank you"  and "my name is Mark"  Shrek just smiled in response and started gathering the things he needs to make this birth happen safely.
    Mark laid there softly crying, grunting and arching his back off the bed at every pain that rocked his body.

  "Please hurry Shrek..." Mark pleaded.

Shrek came back to the bed and ripped Mark's clothing exposing his body. From the cold Marks nipples were exposed and they were leaking. Mark jumped out of his skin when a big head dropped on his pelvis entrance. Shrek checked it out and gave Mark the okay to push. Mark used all his might to get the baby's head to crown immediately. Shrek told him to slowdown but the pain was too much Mark just kept pushing and screaming until the baby's head was out. Gasping he started pushing again when a shoulder popped out and then another. Shrek caught the baby, cleaned out it's airways and passed the screaming thing to it's mother who was crying big crocodile tears.

Shrek felt around Marks stomach and told him he was having twins. Mark latched his first baby on one of his leaking nipples and let it suckle. When the second dropped there were some problems. 1st one was, the baby was sideways, 2nd was his hand was to big to fit up there and his fingers were too stubby. So shrek held the first baby while Mark stuck his hand up there to fix the situation. Once the baby was facing the right way Mark laid back and took his child in his arms and pushed. Trying not to scream he squeezed Shreks giant finger and pushes again. This baby was the bigger twin. Mark pushed even harder and it's head popped out. Not resting he kept pushing until the whole baby popped out. Mark fell back with his baby in his arm and took the other from Shreks hands when the cord was cut. Shrek meant to ask Mark where he cane from but Mark was fast asleep with two suckling kids on his chest.

    Shrek sighed and sleep on the floor next to Mark. When morning came Mark and Shrek woke up to the cries and smell of two stinky babies. 

"I'll go get water, you stay here." Shrek grumbled going out back to grab some water. Quickly he got some and came back inside. Mark washed both himself and his babies.
   "Shrek do you have my clothes?" Mark asked.

"Yes."

"Well..Can I have them??"

"I think I like you better naked.." Shrek's eyes traveled up and down Marks naked body. Marks eyes glinted with a hint of annoyance but overall he was amused. Flexing his muscles Mark winked at Shrek.

"Clothes." Was all Mark said. Shrek loved being ordered around and brought the new mother his clothes and watched Mark get dressed and stagger back to bed. He sat on the new covers and set the babies down. Shrek sat next to them. Mark nervously ran his hands through his hair and blurted out, "Theseareyourkids."

Even though it was super fast Shrek knew what he was trying to say and kissed Mark on the cheek. They went on to live happy together, with 86 children to carry on their legacy.

the end