"Are you okay?" Peter asked, nudging Helios. Helios looked at Peter and shrugged, staring at his shoes. Lately, he felt like he was being viewed as a joke. Some comic relief. He rolled his shoulders and stood. Helios looked at Peter and gave her a half-hearted smile. She always seemed to know when he had something on his mind. But this time, he wasn't going to tell her anything. He wasn't going to tell anyone anything. Helios pulled at his gloves.

"I'm good. Seriously." Helios turned away from her. "I think I need to take a walk." He walked away from Peter, before he stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Don't tell Dustin anything. I'm okay, alright?" He didn't wait for a response, before continuing, walking down to the beach.

The salty smell of the sea reminded Helios of home. The cold waters of New Jersey were different from the Mediterranean sea, but they were similar in a way. Helios kicked off his shoes and walked through the sand, feeling each grain get stuck between his toes, and then wash away when he reached the water. He rolled up his pants to his knees and waded in, running his hands through the ocean. It was cold. And wet. Just like when he was first activated. So many things reminded him of home and the beginning.

Helios snapped, and his shirt and vest disappeared. He went further into the water until it covered his head. He looked around at the fish and smiled. They stared back at him, gulping water through their gills. Helios continued walking through the water until it was too deep to do so, and he floated through the sea. He'd only done this once before, just existed in the water, feeling like something more than a computer program.

He curled up into a ball and sunk to the bottom, hair rippling in the waves. Being alone and floating with no control over where he went, it was so familiar. He'd traveled so far to be here. And he felt like going back to where his home was. But going back would mean leaving his friends and Dustin behind. Maybe that was what he needed. He needed to get away. Be happy on his own in the wilds of Greece, or the cities of Italy. Helios closed his eyes and smiled.

That sounded nice.

But there was still the part of him that asked himself if it was a good idea to leave so many people behind. His host, his boyfriend, his friends. And he opened his eyes again, staring at the sky and its stars from below the water. Helios watched as Selene the moon drifted across the sky, the constellations looking down on him and laughing. The one who decided to stop, and have a regular life. As regular as it could be if he was just a computer program.

Something in the back of his mind wondered if he was just a computer program. When he looked around, none of the other Squips looked like him. None of the others, besides Peter, came from the Mediterranean area. Helios sighed, the silver bubbles going upwards. Maybe he wasn't supposed to stop.

Helios swam to the top of the ocean, inhaling a breath of air. His hair dripped water into his face, and he brushed some of it back, feeling the water lapping at his shoulders. Helios turned around in the water and swam back to the shore, sitting on the beach and wringing the seawater out of his hair. His hair had gotten longer since he had started spending more time in physical form. He was thinking about cutting it, it was starting to become a pain to take care of it. He squished the rest of the water out and then stared at the moon again, hair drying out.

A bit of the moon swirled and drifted down, coalescing into the shape of a woman. She was dressed in a chiton and had sandals on, a staff in her right hand, a miniature crescent on top of it. She smiled at Helios.

"Hello, brother." She whispered, the silence of the beach disappearing as she walked over to him. Helios rolled his eyes and looked up at her.

"Hello, sister. Shouldn't you be working?" He stood and pushed back some of the wet hair threatening to fall into his face. The woman, Selene, reached out to him and placed a hand on his chest, instantly drying everything. She smiled and let it fall.

"Eos closed the shop, since it's a full moon. I noticed you sulking down here."

Helios shook his head. "I wasn't sulking. Maybe..regretting some of my choices." He put his hands in his pockets. "You're not a Squip, are you?"

Selene shook her head, light bouncing off of her silky hair. "No, dearest brother. Only you are. What have you been regretting? Leaving us to play with the humans? Or the computers?" Helios nodded and looked off to the side.

"Do you think that I can come back?" He frowned. "I mean, I'm not sure I want to go back, but wouldn't the sun god be taken more seriously than the silly yellow-orange computer?" Helios kicked at the sand.

"Maybe, but you'd still be mocked by the rest of the gods. For abandoning us. For falling in love. With a computer. I may have my mortal form approve of your relationship, but it's only because you are currently stuck in your present form. If you had fallen in love with him as a god and him a computer, then I'm sure it wouldn't be just me giving you a funny look." Selene twirled her staff and smiled again. "But don't let my opinions or the others affect your choices."

"Yeah." Helios snapped his fingers, and his shirt came back. "I think I'm going to go back to what I have now. Thank you for talking to me, Selene." Selene laughed.

"Of course, Helios. You should talk to your friends. Let yourself be more open and vulnerable to them. I can't be the only one talking to you like this."

Helios waved at Selene as she disappeared back into the moon, and he watched as it faded away, and the first light shades of blue appeared on the horizon, the sun rising. He pulled his vest on and zipped it up halfway. Vulnerable to people that weren't his siblings. It seemed a lot easier said than done. He'd never really opened up to them about his past. Never let himself be vulnerable like that. He'd always left things at his basic activation information. He was from Greece. He was a recent model. He was only taking the default form, he was only taking the form Kai looked up to. All the half-truths and white lies he had told everyone.

Helios looked around the make sure he had everything, tying his shoes. He seemed to, and then he spotted a pretty shell. Maybe Dustin would like it. Helios gave his shoelaces one more good yank and then picked up the shell. He slipped it in a pocket and walked to Rich's house. He'd definitely not forget about it.

------

Rich's house was surrounded by similar houses, all small and fairly monochromatic. Helios went over to the side window and climbed the tree to the window. He knocked on it, hoping one of Rich's Squips would hear the noise and investigate before Rich woke up. A group of green pixels formed into the shape of a man at the window, and Dustin slid the window open.

"What d'you want?" Dustin slipped out of the room and onto the tree branch. "You didn't tell me you were coming." Helios sighed and wrapped an arm around Dustin, not getting very close to him, feeling all of the lies shoving themselves between him and his boyfriend. Helios felt a little sick, and he had trouble forming words.

"Can we talk? In private?" Helios looked away. "I need to tell you about something." Dustin looked Helios over and then teleported them into their digital house, the furniture appearing and settling into position, shaking slightly. Helios glanced around the room and noticed that most of his sweaters were in a pile near Dustin's cabinet. He chuckled. "I see you were hanging out in my clothing again.

"Was not." Dustin crossed his arms. "And is that all you wanted to tell me? Because you woke me up from charging. By myself, thanks to you not being here." Helios pressed a kiss to Dustin's forehead.

"Sorry, I just had to take a moment to think about things." He murmured, letting go of Dustin. Dustin seemed confused at first before his face fell, and he looked at Helios sadly.

"Must've been some thinking. You left me alone all damn night." Dustin frowned. "Blue said you left her at Kai's house hours ago. What were you thinking about, that would make you leave the two people you like most in the world by themselves?" Helios pulled on some of his hair, then twisted it around his finger.

"Well, it was something I should have told you about a long time ago." Helios stared at the carpet, scuffing it with his shoe. "And uh, Selene said I should open up to you guys about things and be...vulnerable." He glanced at Dustin. "The thing is, I haven't exactly been honest with you." Helios watched Dustin hop off of the bed, eyebrows raised, eyes wide.

"What do you mean, you haven't been honest? Have you been fucking lying to me? Is that what this is about? You're gonna tell me you've been lying about everything?" Dustin clenched his fists and huffed, before sitting back down. "You'd better have a damn good explanation. I really hope you're not telling me everything up until now has been fake. Because if you tell me that, I'm going to be pissed."

Helios sighed. "Not exactly. Only some things have been lies. You know how I said that I came from Greece, and I was a new model?"

"Yeah?"

"Okay, well, yes it's true I came from Greece. And yes I'm a new model, but have you ever thought about how I don't look like the other Squips?" Helios fidgeted with his hair, twirling and pulling on it. Dustin, apart from the initial outburst, didn't seem like he was very angry.

"Yeah, you're...Greek, and pretty much everyone else is Japanese. Is this supposed to be important? I mean, everyone else is really fucking tall and I'm average height. So it's not like you're an outlier." Dustin shrugged. Helios smiled and reached over, placing one of his hands on Dustin's. Dustin laced their fingers together. "Anything else?"

"Um. This might be a bit of a shock, but I'm not actually a Squip--wait, hold on," Helios put a hand over Dustin's mouth. "Let me explain. Okay?" Dustin stared at Helios, very confused, and then nodded. Helios removed his hand and let it drop.

"Okay, so I'm actually uh, or formerly was the Greek sun god. It's why my name is Helios. The deity, or titan of the sun." Helios took a deep breath. "And uh some long time ago, maybe a few decades or so ago, I decided that I didn't want to watch all the mortals from the sky. I wanted to be like one of them. And so I was promptly kicked out of Olympus and uh, turned into a Squip. Which is why I look like this, and not like everyone else."

Helios squeezed Dustin's hand. "And I've been wondering lately why it took so long for me to become a Squip, and why a lot of this is happening, and I've been regretting some things. I often find myself staring at the sky and wishing that I could go b--"

"YOU WANT TO LEAVE?" Dustin leaned away from Helios. "You're going to leave us, leave me, for the fucking sky? For the people who kicked you out? Goddammit Helios, why?"

Helios shook his head. "No, I don't...I don't want to leave. I don't wish to go back to them. Okay?" He let go of Dustin's hand. "I want to stay here. It's a lot of self-reflection that made me want to. And uh, talking to my sister. She said I shouldn't be um....nevermind. She said I shouldn't let her or other's opinions affect my choices. And I'm not choosing to stay because you want me to be here. I'm choosing to stay because I want to be here. I'm doing this for myself, and partially because if I do go back up there, I'll be the subject of mockery for eons. Momus would have a field millennia."

"So you're only staying here because you'd be laughed at if you went up there?" Dustin crossed his arms. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"Yeah." Helios looked at him. "I'm not staying here because I'd be laughed at. I'm staying here because I want to. Because I like being here with everyone." Helios hesitated. "And the second to final thing I want to tell you is that I want to be taken seriously. I feel like my entire existence here is some joke, and I'm only here to be laughed at. I don't like that."

Dustin shook his head. "I take you seriously. When you want to be serious. When you're being stupid, then I don't." Helios smiled.

"Thanks."

"Mhmm." Dustin scooted closer to Helios. "That all?"

"Um, no. Listen, before we go onto the final thing, can you tell everyone to take me seriously?" Helios pleaded. Dustin scooted away from Helios at that.

"No. You have to do that."

Helios ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "Yeah, I know, but I was hoping you'd do it for me."

"Do I look like a servant to you." Dustin raised an eyebrow. Helios looked away, laughing.

"No, you don't. Though you're practically dressed like a butler."

"I am not a damn butler. I am fucking dapper. I am professional." Dustin pushed Helios nearly off the bed. "I am a fucking miracle worker. Now, what's the final thing."

"Oh, it's that...uh..." Helios twisted some of his hair around his finger, and then lifted his finger. "Should I get a haircut?" Dustin stared at Helios in disbelief, mouth open.

"What kind of final thing was that! You tell me that you thought about leaving, you tell me you're a fucking god, you tell me you want to be taken seriously, and now you're asking me if you should get a haircut??" Dustin groaned.

"Yeah...?"

"Helios, it's your fucking hair. I think you'd look okay, whatever length you make it." Dustin sighed. Helios smiled and hugged Dustin, who only grumbled a little.

"Okay thanks, I just wanted approval from my boyfriend." Helios kissed Dustin on the cheek.