I walked out of the church all in black. Everyone around me was wearing bright colors except for me and my daughter. Everyone smiled and laughed while I tried to hide my tear-filled eyes. My 6 year old daughter was holding my hand as we crossed the street.
Her grip was tight. It reminded me of how I was when I was her age. Scared and always behind the one who protected me.

Now he's gone...

We walked to the car and got in. I buckled up my daughter in her seat. I then closed her door and I got in behind the wheel.

We drove back home and from there we just settled down.

My daughter was filled with laughter and joy inside the house. I would smile knowing that she's fine but we both know that I'm still hurt about it all.

I went upstairs to my room and I laid down on my bed. I kicked off my heels and I managed to push the door shut with my left hand since the bed was right next to the entrance.

I felt isolated. I felt safe.
I let my feelings loose.

I felt the warm tears flow down my cheeks and down to my neck. I felt some just fall down off the side of my face. Still looking up at the ceiling. My tears turned into a river then an ocean.

I cried and cried. I closed my eyes. From there, everything felt so comfortable... but my heart was still bruised.

I eventually stoped. I didn't move. I didn't make a sound.
I had fallen asleep.

I remember his face. The happiness in his smile. His laughter was contagious. I wanted to laugh too but I couldn't since I knew he was gone.

I could hear his song in the background and it became louder and louder, like as if his band was there playing with him.

Soon enough he started singing. The music soothed me but then it made me burst into a wail. I continued to cry in my sleep. Suddenly, his face looked at me. He looked at me worried.

He then walked to me. I was still crying but I felt his hand on my head. He caressed my hair like as if I was a child. I opened my eyes and saw my room when I was 5 years old. I didn't know what had happened. I looked around and I saw all my things. One of my sisters was sound asleep in the bed next to mine.

"There there, it was only a bad dream..."

I recognized that voice.

"DAD!!" I yelled jumping out my bed. I hugged him tight. He hugged back and I felt a smile form across my face. I haven't smiled at all in the last 24 hours. It felt good to smile in my dad's arms.

"I know you're hurt and you didn't want me to leave you but sweetie, it's been a year..." said my Dad

"Yeah but... I miss you... and so does evryone else... my mom... if only she could hear your voice again..." I said feeling the tears in my eyes.

"Yes but you need to learn to let those whom you love go. I know your mother would love to know I'm here but I only came to see you..."

"Yes but... dad, I miss you so much... I don't want you to leave...
...Just don't leave..."

"I know but you gotta remember that I'll never leave you nor the rest of the family. As long as you remember those you love they will never leave your side. They'll only wait for your next time you'll be reunited."

"..."
I started to lightly sob. My dad's shoulder was getting soaked. His plaid shirts were always so soft... it comforted me...

He pat my back and rubbed it. He knows what to do to make someone calm.

I hiccuped as I stuttered my words.
"D-[hicc]-ad I... I'm g-going t-t-to mis-ss [hicc]y-you..."

"I know sweetie.... I'll miss you too..."

"D-Dad, jus-s-st p-please...
n-[hicc]-nev-ver leave my side...
You'll forever be in my heart..."

"Promise."

We hugged one last time. I hugged him tight and he did so too. We embraced each other's love and kindness. We both learned that no matter what, the people who love will never leave you. I closed my eyes and he left my arms. I opened them again and I was kneeling on the ground in a black room. I wasn't in my 5 year old body anymore. I was back to my grown up self. I looked around but I saw nothing.

In an instant I could hear hear him sing again...

Las Mañanitas...

I felt a bright light behind me. It was warm and the music got louder. I turned my head and looked to the way the light was. It was him... my dad and his friends. He was singing... for me...

I instantly remembered this event. It was my birthday and traditionally, someone has to wake you up singing Las Mañanitas to you. My dad always got up very early to sing for whoever's birthday it was.

Then at the corner of my eye, I saw another memory of my dad. He was telling his grandchildren stories about when my brothers, sisters, and I were their age. Out anyways warms up my heart remembering that.

Soon enough, there were walls of glowing memories around me. I looked at them all and I shed one last tear. A tear of joy. I got up from the ground and I was standing on my now weak feet. My legs shook as I started to spin around to look at all these fun times. I smiled. Then grinned. I started to giggle and I ended up laughing.

I felt good. I know he's not here standing here next to me but he's alive and I know it. Alive!

...Alive in my heart...

He lived a good life and he was always happy. He made everyone smile and laugh. His musical talent roared in our hearts. He met and made amazing friends. He was an inspiration to his friends and family. A role model. Someone to look up to. Everyone loved him. He wanted his family to be happy and he succeeded in his job. His wife loves him dearly. Daughters and sons miss him. So do his grandchildren but we all learned a valuable lesson here and today. If they have left yesterday, last month, or a whole year ago, they'll never be forgotten. The love for them will never die for love is a powerful feeling.

We love you...
... forever...

❤R.I.P.❤

❤❤❤