Contest for the Amazon show Utopia. Answer the following question: What have you done to earn your place in this crowded world? 500 words, limited characters 

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Okay. Well, where to begin. I guess at the beginning, right. I'm Beth, short for Elizabeth. I just graduated top 1% of my class. Currently, working on my BA in biochem. Or I was. Pharmacy is the job to have, right?

I'm a Delta Zeta. Hmmm, what else. I come from good Midwestern stock. My parents have been married for 26 years--perfect couple. Barf. Right?

I'm a team player. My mom always says, "Don't be such a follower, Betty." Oh yeah, right. Mom calls me Betty. I'm not 80, so don't call me Betty. My older brother called me Bette. I hate that, too. He died from...you know.

But anyway, enough sad, right. I'm tough, too. I took fourteen hours of ballet a week my entire life. I know ballet, blah. But seriously, I'll kick you into next week right now. And I have three, had three, brothers. They didn't discriminate with the torture. I got a pretty good left hook. Broke my younger brother's nose. It was an accident, sort of.

Oh, I'm fluent in three languages. 私は日本語を話します. That's Japanese. I did a student exchange in tenth grade. And Espanol, of course. I wouldn't say I'm fluent in Russian, but I get by. My Grams is from some little village there. No one's ever heard of it.

What else? Oh, I can shoot a tick off a dog at forty paces. My family loves their guns. Got a .22 rifle for my third birthday. I personally like an Ar15 with a green laser sight. I have my Daniel Defense - DDM4 V7 with me. I used to have a Glock, but I had to ditch it after I killed my boyfriend.

Oh yeah, I murdered my boyfriend. Is that a problem? In my defense, he wouldn't have qualified for your program, or whatever. He was super hot. But for all the working out he did, he was not strong and so slow. Seriously, what is it with guys and cardio? Would it kill you to do less chest and more treadmill? Right?

Anyways. Let me know if I'm a good fit. Like I said, I'm smart, strong, fast, love me some cardio. Great with a gun, and who knows maybe I can cure this thing or whatever.