You know all my weaknesses, every frail, pathetic part of me that I try so hard to hide. You dig deeper and deeper, wrapping your cold, sharp nails into all my insecurities and worries, hungry for it all, but never satisfied.

   You start by whispering them in my ears, which would send a shiver down my spine. I would shake my head to try and clear your fears away. But then you get louder and louder, digging deeper and deeper into me. You get to the point where you are screaming in my head. Anyone else in the room will be drowned out, unable to get through to me. All because you're making it feel like I won't escape alive. You make me feel like I'm drowning, suffocating.

   How can anything be this cruel? Be this relentless? Wrap your limitless reach around millions of innocents' throats? Merciless doesn't even begin to describe what you are.

   You torture me, every day.

   There were others before me, and they'll be endless far after I'm gone. You poison all of them. You are the monster in all our head, the voice that only one individual can head, being force fed all their doubts.

   For all of us, you are our personal stalker, your voice that affects each one of us, only we can hear it. Only I can hear what you tell me. And what's worst of all is that you're a part of us. This horrible corruption in our minds is locked in, forever sealed. Sure, you can get better with coping, but it never really leaves.

   It keeps whispering, yelling, hovering, taunting. Paranoid, crazy, insecure, freak, you may have been called one of these things. But they don't know what we feel, the thoughts swarming through our minds that feels like it's tearing our shreds of sanity apart.

   It makes us feel like all we can do is crumble down on our knees, begging for mercy with our hands over our eyes, trying to drown out the voice, while hot tears like burning acid fall endlessly.

   Burying the demon won't work, we've all tried. Did you succeed?

   Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just breathe, don't let go. Somehow you will find a way to not spiral further. You will emerge with a better knowing of this personal demon. I believe, others like you and me believe, you can get through this. You can make amends with the thing in your head, your soul. You can make an unlikely partnership, though in the end they'll still hurt you. Accept this stalker is a part of you, and it will stop being so unrelentless, and you'll be in better control.

   Perhaps, I don't know. Though I wish I did, I do not hold the answers. Each venom in our veins is different from the last. A different toxicity, a changing severity, an ever warping form.

. . .

Hopefully this explains how it feels to have a form of anxiety. I've been trying to get back into writing more, since I hit a block. I got really deep with "Yu

~Shaye