With trembling hands you sat there, holding his hand tightly in yours, while so much water fell on you that it felt like the sky was trying to drown the world.

It was cold. So infinitely cold.

Your body felt numb, like a hollow puppet in which your mind was trapped in.

"Papa...", your voice was barely more than a whisper.

It hurt to speak while his blood dripped from your cheeks.

Blood. There was so much blood. It was as if he had opened his mouth and vomited out his entire life, the ability to control his body, to think clearly. The human in his eyes had faded. Now there was only a monster torturing the last bit of his former self.

"(Y/N)...", when he opened his mouth more blood poured out from between his lips.

Full of horror, you bit your lips to keep from screaming.

You wanted to let go of him and run away. But you forced yourself to stay by his side, to hold his hand tightly and pretend that everything was going to be okay.

A smile forced itself onto your lips, but it tasted bitter.

You felt like you were lying to him, in the last desperate moments of his life.

"I'm here, papa.", you gently stroked a strand of his wet, gray hair from his forehead.

The touch of his scarred, disfigured skin sent a shiver creeping down your spine. The purple blisters that overgrew him like a boil shivered with every touch. The shimmer they spread felt poisonous. They could have burst painfully at any moment.

He gasped, struggling desperately for toxic, thick air to breathe. Zaun was no place to live, he had always said.

But it was good enough to die in.

You had always thought it was one of his macabre jokes, but now it was painful reality.

"Papa...", with tears in your eyes, you pressed the back of his hand against your forehead, just as he had always done back then. "Don't leave me... this world is so cruel... I don't want to be alone..."

A tired smile appeared on his wrinkled face. It was the smile of a man who had finished with life and made peace with death.

"(Y/N)...", this time his voice sounded a little more like you knew it. "My child... you are so strong. Forgive your old man for... trying to protect you..."

"I am grown up! I don't need to be protected anymore!", you scream, gripped by despair and the certainty that there was nothing you could do.

Around you, the water was making small waves. You were helpless. Just like you were back then. Just like when they died.

The trembling in your hands grew stronger.

The warmth was leaving his body. Death displaced life.

And yet he smiled.

"Why?", you asked. "Why are you smiling? Are you mocking me?"

Coughing, he shook his head. The blood spread, soaking the ground and painting a picture of pain and loss.

"My child... I am... so infinitely proud of you...", his fingers stroked through your (H/C) hair. "Your mother would be proud of... what you have become..."

Hot tears ran down your face. With clenched teeth you curled up.

There was so much pain in your chest. It felt like a thousand knives digging into your heart. So this is what it felt like to die. But you were not the one who would soon disappear from the face of this world.

It was your father. The only person left.

"Stay...", you begged in a weak voice. "Please stay with me. I can't do this alone. I can find a solution."

With a heartbreaking smile, he shook his head. There was so much love in his eyes.

The grip of his fingers around your hand loosened. He was getting weaker and weaker.

"Papa..."

"Don't... don't cry... for an old fool...", again a cough shook his broad chest. "I knew the risks... I was willing to pay... the... price..."

"But for what? For what all this?!", the pain made the tears flow like a waterfall.

The warmth on your skin mixed with the cold of the rain and the pain in your chest felt like hellfire.

Tired, he sighed. His whole shirt was soaked with blood.

The purple glow of the bumps stroked your skin.

"I wanted... to take you to the topside... he paid well... and I knew what I did... it for...", now tears filled his eyes too. "For what... if not for... my own child..."

He had to laugh. Then he had to cough again. His whole body trembled. His eyes became heavy and he groaned as if a piece of life was leaving him with every breath.

"Don't leave me alone...", you begged again, your grip on his hand tightened so much that your knuckles turned pale. "Without you... I have nothing... without you... Zaun has taken everything from me..."

A deep hum escaped him.

"You are... only alone... if you choose to be alone...", his hand rose one last time and caressed your cheek as if you were a little child again. "You are not the only one with this... fate... many share... your pain... your experiences..."

"It's all his fault! He killed Vander! This wouldn't have happened without the shimmer..."

"No, (Y/N)... he gave me the tool... but I decided to use it... Don't hate him... pity him..."

"He doesn't deserve pity!"

"He is no different than us... a better life... for these people. But he chose the way of war... I chose... a selfish way... a better life... just... for... you..."

A last, long yet faint breath left his lips. His eyes became empty.

Then he was gone, all at once.

Gone.

Forever.

Suddenly the tears stopped flowing. You froze. Holding your breath, you stared at him, his face suddenly looking so peaceful. Your hands trembled as you grasped his cheeks and turned his head toward you.

"Papa?", you dared only to whisper. "Are you... no... no, you mustn't... papa!"

And as you scream for him, eyes turned to the dark sky, pain exploded in your chest.

A part of you died with him that day, became broken and useless.

And another hardened.