Ashley turned out to be a good ally. She didn't think Jodie was a stupid child who could never have survived alone. But she also insisted that Jodie stayed with her whenever they went outside to look for food and the others.

Every now and then she tried to get Jodie to talk in funny ways, but she didn't push her and left her alone when it got too much for Jodie.

Ashley told Jodie about her former life. She had kept afloat with a lot of occasional jobs and the one she liked best was working in a tattoo studio. She showed Jodie some of the tattoos she had gotten there.

Ashley had loved it there and she had also made her own tattoo drawings every now and then. Some of them her boss had liked very much and she had even put them up as motives.

"Let me tell you something, Jodie. If we ever get a tattoo machine, I'll show you how it works. If you want, I can give you one too, how would you like that?" Ashley asked her.

Jodie nodded. She had already seen a few of Daryl's tattoos and secretly wished for one.

"How old are you? I am not allowed to do tattoos on children under 16 years of age. Unless they have written permission from their parents," Ashley said with a grin.

Jodie first held up four fingers, then ten.

"Fourteen? Hm, are you sure you're allowed to do that yet?" Ashley asked with a grin.

"I might as well be fifteen already. Who knows today, and besides, where are you going to get written permission now," Jodie asked mockingly from her pad.

Ashley laughed and told her even more. Told her the story she promised Jodie in the beginning.

She told her about the boyfriend she had run away with when all this shit started and how she had joined another group of men and women. Then there had been a walker attack and most of the people, including her boyfriend, had died. Only a few men and she had survived and suddenly the peaceful coexistence was over. The men had clear ideas about what the few women who had also survived should do and shouldn't do. They had taken away all their weapons and made them dependent on themselves with threats and violence. Eventually there were fewer and fewer women, due to weakness attacks or murders or walkers, and at some point only Ashley and three men were left. And they would not let her go. Took everything from her that could have served as a defense and kept her captive while they moved on and on. Finally Ashley had managed to free herself one night and killed two of the men. She had tried to run away, but Tony, the third guy, had caught her and had gone completely crazy.

"He was a megalomaniac. He claimed that I needed him, that I couldn't survive without him, and that I belonged to him," Ashley finally said as they sat on the sofa across the street in another apartment. Now like two friends.

Jodie watched her closely. How tense and sad she seemed.

She almost didn't dare ask, but then she did.

"Did any of them...?", she wrote on the pad and looked at her worried and cautious. Ashley seemed to understand the question, even if it wasn't finished.

"Raped? No. The men were chauvinist pigs, but they weren't rapists. But Tony would have done it, at least eventually. I think when he caught me, he wanted to, but then you came."

At the last words she smiled softly before turning to Jodie.

"Now I've told you a lot about myself. But what about you? What about you before? And what are your people like?" she asked as she sat back.

Jodie hesitated for a moment before she pulled out her drawing book and threw it at her. Interested, Ashley flipped through it. Saw every single one of the prisoners that Jodie had drawn.

"Did you do them all?" she asked in surprise. Jodie nodded.

"They're really good, I'll give you that," Ashley said as she went through each one of the residents. Finally, she faltered.

"You guys had a baby?," she asked in surprise. Jodie nodded sadly. Judith. Poor little Judith.

"Do you know what happened to her?" Ashley asked.

Jodie shook her head. Ashley saw a drawing with Rick, Carl and Judith. Underneath it said, "The Grimes family."

"So Rick is the father of Carl and Judith," Ashley said. Jodie nodded.

"And where is Judith's mother?" she asked. Jodie just shook her head.

"I'm sorry. Is she in here somewhere?" Ashley asked as she turned the pages.

Jodie shook her head.

"She was dead before I got there. She died at birth," she wrote.

"Sorry," Ashley murmured softly. Then she turned the pages and looked up in surprise.

"Michonne. And the chick really has a Katana sword," she asked in surprise, seeing Michonne holding her Katana aggressively in the picture.

Jodie nodded smiling.

"You better not mess with her, right?" she asked.

Jodie nodded with a smile.

"And who is that?" she asked as she turned the next page.

The picture showed Daryl carving an arrow in the yard.

"Daryl, our hunter and one of the best men I know," Jodie wrote on the paper.

"Is that a crossbow he's shooting with?" Ashley asked in surprise when she saw the next picture. Jodie nodded with a smile and then pointed to hers.

"Did he teach you that too?" she then asked. Jodie nodded.

"Is he your dad?" Ashley asked. Jodie shook her head, but paused. He wasn't her biological father, but somehow he was something like Dad.

"But he's important, isn't he?" Ashley asked, interpreting Jodie's thoughtful expression correctly.

"He's important to everyone," Jodie replied on the pad.

"But he's important to you, isn't he?" asked Ashley, who saw more and more pictures of him.

Jodie nodded.

Ashley nodded thoughtfully.

"You miss him, don't you?" she asked.

Jodie nodded.

"What's Daryl like?" Ashley then asked.

And Jodie described him to her. Wrote down everything she knew about Daryl, what he liked, what he didn't like, how he expressed his gratitude, and everything he had experienced with her.

She knew it was dangerous to tell Ashley just about herself and Daryl, but in that moment, that need was there. And Ashley just listened to her. Every now and then she would make a surprised comment but otherwise she was completely silent.

As if she understood the special connection with Daryl.

When she had finally finished, Ashley looked at the pictures of Daryl again as if she was trying to imagine him as he might have been in real life. Then she put the pad down and looked at Jodie.

"Do you think Daryl survived?" she finally asked.

Jodie nodded.

"Of all the survivors I've met so far, none were like him. He's seen a lot of bad things and survived. Nothing stops him, he always finds a way. "Yes, I know he survived."

Ashley nodded.

"Has he lost people too?" she asked.

"Yes, his brother and some good friends. He doesn't let everybody in, but if he does...," Jodie said.

"And who have you lost?" Ashley asked.

Jodie remained silent for a long time before she wrote on the pad: "Enough for today."

Ashley nodded sympathetically. Jodie wanted to get up as Ashley gently held her wrist.

"I know you haven't known me very long and who am I to tell you about trust. But if there's anything or you want to talk or write,... I'm here, okay?" she said softly.

Jodie looked at her impenetrably for a moment, then she nodded with a little smile before making a simple gesture to signal "good night" and then left the room.

******************************************************

Jodie wasn't sure exactly what had triggered it in Ashley, but she realized that something had changed between them since that night.

It was the way Ashley suddenly appeared. She had become much calmer, more thoughtful. This light-heartedness, the joy of life that she had radiated so much before, was suddenly blown away.

She seemed almost like Jodie. Locked up. Jodie couldn't say exactly what had triggered it, but she was sure that something had slumbered in Ashley and was now slowly coming to light. Although Ashley didn't seem dangerous or less trustworthy to her, Jodie decided to keep a closer eye on her again.

Even if it was just a little " quiet time ", something worse could always happen.

Jodie had asked her a couple of times what was going on but Ashley had always claimed that everything was okay or had been evasive. Jodie started to rack her brain whether she had said something that might have hurt Ashley or unconsciously said something that might have triggered bad memories in Ashley.

But it took a week altogether before she found out.

Since that evening Ashley had taken over night watches more often than usual. Otherwise, she and Jodie had taken turns every other night. But now she sometimes spent three nights in a row awake while Jodie slept.

That had also worried Jodie. Too little sleep could also mean less attention during the day, but Ashley didn't let that stop her and continued to keep watch.

But one night, Jodie woke up. A horrible nightmare in which she had watched Daryl being brutally killed before her eyes had made her jump up again. She had tried to fall asleep quickly, but her throat had been dry and her head was still buzzing with wild, bloody images.

So she had got up and gone into the living room where Ashley was keeping watch. Her backpack with her water bottle was still lying there and she knew that she had to take at least a few sips if she wanted to go back to sleep.

But on the way down to the living room, she had stopped. A noise caught her attention. It took her a moment before she realized that it was a sob.

Reluctantly, she entered the living room and saw Ashley sitting on the sofa by the window, sobbing softly. Tears ran down her cheeks and dripped steadily onto her T-shirt.

Reluctantly, Jodie came closer and finally saw Ashley clutching a photo in her hands with both hands.

Jodie wasn't sure whether she was supposed or allowed to come closer. Maybe it was like with Daryl and she would fend her off and send her away because she was embarrassed and didn't want to be seen vulnerable.

Still, Jodie at least wanted to try to help her. So she came a little closer when a floorboard creaked under her feet.

Shocked, Ashley looked up and nearly looked caught at Jodie.

"Oh, it's you," she then said with a smile and hastily wiped the tears from her face as she almost forced a smile.

"Sorry, I was just thinking that...there probably isn't a tattoo machine anywhere anymore and I won't be able to give you a tattoo like I promised. And that makes me kind of sad," she said with a tortured smile as Jodie sat down with her.

She could see right away that Jodie didn't buy it.

Jodie gently took the photo out of her hand and looked at it. A young dark-haired woman and a little boy, perhaps a year older than Judith, were shown in it.

Questioningly, Jodie looked at Ashley from the photo.

"My sister Milly and her son Danny," Ashley smiled weakly.

Jodie also smiled weakly and then looked at her questioningly.

She didn't even have to write it down to formulate her question.

"Yes, they are both dead. Besides my boyfriend, they were all I had left. Both died in the very beginning. Danny was only two. He didn't deserve that. And neither did Milly. They were both such good, decent people. They lived normal lives. And what about me? I could hardly keep afloat, and I wasn't exactly a textbook example as an aunt," Ashley said almost bitterly.

Jodie pulled a picture of her mom from her backpack and showed it to her.

"Is that your mom?"

She nodded.

"Is she also...?"

Jodie shrugged before writing on her arm, "That's the worst part. The uncertainty. Not knowing what happened to the others. Maybe she's still living somewhere in a safe place with good people, maybe she's become one of the undead, or maybe she's long dead."

Ashley nodded.

"Yeah, that's even more fucked up. But I just can't help it sometimes, I miss them so much and...", she faltered, tears seemed to come to her again. I'm just so angry that I wasn't there to help them, that I was too late. That I am still alive and they are not. And they deserved it much more."

Jodie nodded before she wrote, "I know that feeling too, but you can' t think that. It's just gonna mess you up and there's always gonna be people that need you. Like right now, for example."

Ashley smiled and then she hugged Jodie for the first time. Long and hard as she started crying again. And Jodie held her too and some tears escaped her too.

And for that moment it was okay. Okay to grieve, cry, to let go and start all over again.

********************************************

Hi Guys, I hope you like this chapter. I am afraid to tell tell you, that from now now, chapters won't come every Tuesday, since I have to get prepaired for my finals and also the translation isn't so easy for the following chapters. I hope you understand that. Leave a comment or a vote.

Love, Liz;)