The sun was just creeping into the building when I woke up to find Stellan gone from the bed.

The dull headache was no surprise.

The pang of disappointment that instantly hit me was.

I stamped it down.

It was for the best.

Maybe we wouldn't have to talk.

Stellan wasn't like the men I could easily push around. He compelled honesty in me and what I have to be honest about, should he ever ask, overwhelmed me at the moment.

Aware that my dress was still somewhere up on the rooftop, I slipped off the bed, not bothering to cover up. I found my underwear on the floor. I needed to rinse my mouth, empty my bladder and clean up at the very least, even if I badly wanted a shower.

"The bathroom's just down the hallway to your right."

I jumped at Stellan's voice, my hands going to all kinds of awkward places that needed covering. I turned around and found him stepping off the stairs that led to the rooftop, my dress draped neatly over his arm.

I said nothing as he walked over to me and held the dress up for my inspection.

"It's ripped in some structurally-critical points," he said, a faint smile curling on his mouth. His glasses were back on, as well as a pair of jeans. But he was shirtless and barefoot, sporting messy, freshly washed hair that made my throat go dry.

"I can fix it but it's probably not going to look pretty," he continued so casually as if I wasn't standing there as naked as the day I was born.

"It's fine. I'm sure it can still cover the important parts," I managed to say. "I might need to borrow a jacket or a button-up shirt though."

Finally, he glanced down at all my naked glory, his smile deepening. "I'm sure I can find something you can wear."

I wanted to haul him back to bed at that moment, with his eyes taking me in like that as if he was recalling every spot on my body that he'd touched the night before.

But morning was here.

And so were the consequences.

"I'm going to shower and get changed in five minutes and I'll be out of your hair," I blurted out in a rush. "I'll call a cab now and—"

"I'm going to make us breakfast while you shower," he cut me off gently, leaning forward to brush a kiss on my forehead. It touched me almost the same second his hand settled on the curve of my hip. "Then we can talk, if you'd like."

I fought the temptation to melt against him and leaned back so that his touch could fall away. "We don't need an entire meal to have this talk. It's real quick and simple. We had too much to drink last night, gave in to the usual base urges and now we move forward as soon as I'm sufficiently washed and clothed to get into a cab. I'm clean and I've been on the pill since I've been legally allowed to get it. You seem like the kind of guy who should be safe so I'm gonna go with that. Nothing to worry about. I'll be out of here in a flash."

"You giving me this exact speech right now is evidence enough that this isn't going to be quick or simple," Stellan said calmly because damn it, can't this man just not have it together for a little bit every now and then?

I drew a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes as stubbornly as I could manage. "I've said my piece and you can take it or leave it. I'm not staying beyond the shower I'm going to take right now."

I marched into the bathroom and firmly shut the door behind me. I called one of my cabbie buddies who I knew would be up and working around this time before quickly doing my business in the toilet and jumping into the shower. The water wasn't even warm yet but I welcomed the cold and its sobering effect. I had no choice but to use his body wash. The last thing I needed was to smell him on me all day but one-night-standers can't be choosers. I found a clean towel from a linen shelf and had just wrapped myself in it when there was a knock on the door.

Biting a curse down, I went to open it.

"This shirt might be a little loose but it should be long enough to work either as a makeshift outfit or a layer over your dress," Stellan said, presenting me with a slate gray button-down shirt with long sleeves and a heavy fabric that will keep anything from showing through.

All the bluster in me left because it was proving very hard to be angry at Stellan. Especially when he didn't really do anything wrong and I was just grasping at straws to get out us both out of this situation without compounding our mistakes.

"Thanks," I said weakly, stepping back to hang the shirt on the towel bar. "I'm sorry I'm being an ass. I'm just trying to save us from a painful conversation."

"I know," Stellan said as he stepped inside the bathroom. "It's actually not going as badly as I imagined."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked, watching him open a drawer and pulling out a fully-packaged toothbrush. "What did you imagine? Me throwing a tantrum and breaking all your stuff?"

He smiled and handed me the toothbrush he'd ripped out of the packaging. "No. Just you being gone. Gone before I can do anything about it."

There was something between the lines—as there frequently seems to be with him—but I ignored it. "Well, that's still happening. I'll be gone shortly."

Stellan sighed and leaned against the counter as I stood by the sink to brush my teeth. "Alright. I guess we're having this conversation here and now."

"Let's get the medical details out of the way first so we have one less potential outcome to worry about," he continued since my mouth was full of foamed up toothpaste to stop him. "I had a full medical exam a month ago just before Rachel and I signed the prenup. We both did. We both tested healthy and clean."

I spat out the toothpaste and rinsed my mouth while somehow still managing to stare at him. "That's a little unusual. Testing for a prenup, I mean."

A faint smile hovered on Stellan's mouth. "Yes, it is. But for some reason, I felt it necessary especially since she was marrying me just a little over a month after having an affair with another man."

I gaped. "You mean you knew all this time? About her and that shithead Bobby Castillano?"

Stellan's expression became a little pained. "Yes, I did. And you're probably thinking I'm a moron for still going through with the wedding. She said it was over and that she was sorry. Part of me felt somewhat responsible so I left it to her to decide if she still wanted to get married."

"How can you be somewhat responsible?"

I just practically shouted at Stellan's face but I wasn't going to apologize now and get distracted.

"I thought that maybe I took her for granted," Stellan reasoned calmly. "I work long hours in and out of the office. I'm always on some project. I travel a lot. I often didn't go with her to party or socialize or shop and she didn't really come see me when I would be here working on something. I felt like I may have pushed her to it. We certainly haven't seen each other on the same bed for at least two months now."

I grimaced at the image of a bed with Stellan and Rachel on it.

"So this is why you weren't so heartbroken about her abandoning you days before your wedding," I said. "Why did you even want to get married in the first place?"

Stellan looked at me for a while before answering. "At the time I asked her, it made sense. We seemed good and happy and we'd been dating for longer than any of my previous relationships. When she kept hinting at it, I thought maybe it was time to settle down. That my life in that regard was set and it was time to make of it what I could."

I scoffed. "You're some real Mr. Romance, that's for sure."

He laughed and I couldn't resist smiling.

"I'm beginning to understand that the person we're with makes a significant difference in whether we're our best or worst."

Yes. You're my best and I'm your worst.

"I hope this sets your mind at ease," Stellan continued. "About the guilt you feel for mine and Rachel's screw ups. And about last night."

I raised a brow. "It takes two to tango, Stellan. I could've been sick. Didn't that occur to you?"

"I was convinced that you weren't," he said, surprising me. "And if you're going to point out that the world thinks you promiscuous, don't. I don't put much stock into what the rumor mill grinds through. Especially not about people I know personally. And I don't think that of you."

"You don't?" My tone was still defensive but it sounded puzzled to me as well.

He smiled a little, never breaking his gaze. As if he wanted to make sure I was going to listen to every word he was about to say.

"You trust others—especially men—with very little of yourself, Kady," he said. "You tease them, fight them, use them but you never let them close enough to do the same to you. So no, I don't think you're very casual with your relationships. I don't think you are at all."

I opened my mouth to say something.

Because that didn't cover all of it.

It wasn't that simple.

But it's goddamned close.

"Just because I can't stand most people, men especially, doesn't mean I'm innocent," I retorted, sounding stupid even to my own ears.

His smile deepened. "I don't think that of you either."

I almost demanded him to say exactly what he thought of me but I had to wrap this up and get out of here so I could escape Stellan's scrutiny. I felt too exposed as it was.

"Which is a good thing, right, because as stupid as we'd been last night, I'm at least on the pill," I muttered as I struggled to slip my dress on from underneath the towel. "That would've been a much bigger disaster."

"You don't want children?"

I froze pulling my dress halfway up my knees and I glanced up at him.

That wasn't what I expected him to say.

But then again, Stellan hasn't said anything you expected since you met him.

I swallowed hard. "No, I don't. I'm not fit to be a mother."

"And no, I'm not going to list off my reasons to you so that you can counter-argue them one after the other," I said forcefully, going around him and out of the bathroom as if putting physical distance between us could actually keep him at bay. "Let's just count ourselves lucky that last night might just be that rare mistake that won't haunt us for the rest of our lives."

My exit was hardly dignified since I was practically waddling trying to pull my dress up over my big ass and keep the towel bunched up around my boobs.

"Kady, let me help you," Stellan said, following me back out to the loft. The shirt he was lending me was draped on one shoulder. "You're going to trip and hurt yourself."

I probably looked quite ridiculous at the moment but I tried to stand my ground. "Don't. I mean... just stand back. Don't touch me. Neither of us can be trusted right now."

"I don't know about yourself but you can trust me, Kady," Stellan insisted, settling firm hands on my shoulder and slowly turning me around so that my back was to him. "If you don't want anything to happen, nothing is going to happen."

And with hands that were nothing but efficient and impersonal, he removed the towel and pulled my dress all the way up. With my back still to him, he held the button-down shirt up so I could slip my arms through the sleeves. It was only after I was fully covered that he stepped back so I could turn to face him again.

I took a deep, steadying breath and met his gaze. "Thank you."

Come on. Just get it over with. Rip the Band-Aid off.

"Last night was a mistake," I said. "Every second of it was amazing but it shouldn't have happened."

"I strongly disagree," Stellan replied, smile gone, eyes serious. "There's something here, Kady. We can—"

"Stellan! Where are you?"

We both jumped at the loud male voice echoing throughout the entire space.

"I know you're in here. Saw your car out front," the man went on hollering as his footsteps sounded on the concrete floor downstairs. "You have some explaining to do! Your sister called me twenty minutes ago demanding why your wedding got canceled just hours before she could board a flight home. What the hell is she talking about?"

I watched, my mouth dry with mortification, as Stellan grimaced and rubbed his stubbled jaw.

"Is that your—"

"There you—"

"Hey, Dad."

All three of us lapsed into silence after overlapping each other's statements, our eyes darting around the very awkward group we made.

Jack Cartwright—Stellan's father—froze mid-stride downstairs, his head turned up to where our voices had drifted from the loft.

I recognized him instantly despite having only met him once at Stellan and Rachel's engagement party. The man, well-known as a businessman and philanthropist, shared many features with his son—the rangy build, the reddish-brown hair and the dark brown eyes.

Eyes that were now rounding in a series of emotions as they focused on me.

Shock.

Confusion.

Finally, disapproval.

"Please tell me this isn't what it looks like."

And because it was exactly what it looked like, I said nothing. Neither did Stellan.

"Kady Lynn Jones?" Jack finally asked. "You're a friend of Rachel's, aren't you?"

Stellan opened his mouth to clarify but I surprised us both by beating him to it.

"Yes, I'm Kady but no, I'm not a friend of Rachel's. Never was in the proper sense and definitely not anymore."

Jack's brows furrowed together. I couldn't blame him because my answer was confusing as shit but it was at least an honest one.

Stellan cleared his throat and I had the craziest idea for a second there that he was trying not to laugh. "Kady is my friend, Dad."

Jack, recovering his composure, turned an exasperated look at his son. "Friend, huh? Yes, I can see how friendly you two are all alone here at six in the morning, with her dressed in a shirt you should probably be wearing, two days before you're supposed to marry Rachel!"

Oh, God. Here we go.

A part of me wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole but there was no way out of this now.

"Rachel and I are no longer getting married," Stellan said calmly. "I was going to talk to you today but I had to call Vivienne last night to catch her before her flight."

"Why? What happened with Rachel?" Jack demanded, raking a hand through his hair. "What did you do?"

"He didn't do anything wrong," I blurted out. "Rachel was cheating on him. She decided last night that she was going to be much happier with her new boyfriend and trust me, it's for the best. Her new man's a classic dickhead. They deserve each other."

Knowing how much I did about everything, I just couldn't shut up and let Jack assume his son was at fault. Stellan might have felt somewhat responsible but I was happy to lay all the blame on Rachel's door.

"Thank you, Kady," Stellan said in a strained voice. The expression on his face told me I might have said too much.

A glance at a gaping Jack confirmed it.

"That covered the pertinent parts, Dad," Stellan told him. "Rachel decided to be with someone else. I've already emailed the wedding planner this morning to set about cancelling all the arrangements."

The older man blinked several times as if to clear his head before dragging a hand down his face.

"Alright. Okay," he muttered. Then he scowled at his son. "I'm sure you wanted some space to process this but with the wedding just two days away, you couldn't have come and told me this last night?"

"I couldn't."

Jack and I both thought Stellan was going to expound a little bit more but when he didn't, Jack's head swivelled to me. His quick re-appraisal of how we looked only confirmed what he already knew.

His scowl deepened and this time, his disapproval was plain on his entire face.

"I see," he said gruffly. "I don't know exactly what's going on here, and maybe I'm missing something, but this isn't exactly how I thought you'd handle something like this, Stellan."

I bristled inside.

I understood where Jack was coming from but I couldn't help it.

Even without him showing up here, busting in on us, I knew I was not one of Stellan's wisest decisions. I was never anyone's wise decision.

"Don't blame him," I said, my tone curt. "I came here. Initially with good intentions and a bunch of things from Rachel that had to be returned to him. But I brought booze along and that usually doesn't help the jilted. But don't worry, I'm on my way out now."

I turned to go but Stellan caught me by the wrist.

"Kady, we were going to talk—"

"I think we've all said enough," I answered, firmly pulling my wrist free. "You need to be with your family and friends to sort things out."

"At least let me drive you home," Stellan insisted. "Or have Winslow—"

"My cab's on the way," I interrupted. "Don't worry about it."

I turned to go before he could press me further.

I was halfway down the stairs when Jack piped up. "I think it's better if I go—"

"No, please. I'm leaving," I interrupted as I stopped by the kitchen where I left my shoes and clutch last night. "I should've never stayed."

I stole a glance over my shoulder at Stellan and saw his face harden at my words.

Good.

Under different circumstances—like the fantasy of an alternate reality in my head—this wouldn't have been an ideal situation.

But right now—driving home the point of last night's mistake in front of his father and making no pretty excuses for it—this was necessary.

This was, once again, safe.

I bolted out the door.

*****

Ninya's Notes:

Hi everyone! 

So... What do you think of the fallout from this chapter? I'm sure it was not that much of a surprise to anyone who'd gotten a sense of Kady. If you're reeling a bit, don't worry. It's normal. Kady and Stellan are too. But we have a long way to go.

Anyways.. Hope you are all enjoying the holidays, different as it may look this year. I'm so tired though. Holidays or not, it's really hard to just sit down and relax when you have a very active toddler. I will try to bring you another chapter soon, fingers crossed.

Also, I hope you like this song. I don't really love the original. I heard it stripped and only then did the lyrics really start to work for me. I prefer the acoustic versions/covers of it but my actual favorite is LeAnn Rimes rendition on The Masked Singer. I don't watch that show but I saw a clip on Youtube. 

Anyway... till the next post! Take care of yourself!

♪♪♪ Chapter Soundtrack: When The Party's Over by Billie Eilish ♪♪♪

https://youtu.be/4mlrwRHtMCQ

Don't you know I'm no good for you?
I've learned to lose you can't afford to
Tore my shirt to stop you bleeding
But nothing ever stops you leaving

Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own
I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that
I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that

Don't you know too much already?
I'll only hurt you if you let me
Call me friend, but keep me closer
(Call me back)
And I'll call you when the party's over

Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own
And I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that
Yeah, I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that

But nothing is better, sometimes
Once we've both said our goodbyes
Let's just let it go
Let me let you go