*The song for this chapter is Vibez - Zayn.*

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*TRIGGER WARNING: drug use. If this theme triggers you then please do not read & stay safe!*

Celeste

I couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of anxiety that was coursing through my veins as I connected irises with Harry Styles. The flame of the lighter was flickering slightly in the light breeze that was running through the air, his signature smirk lingering on his lips as he stared at me from his towering position over me.

Oh fuck.

Refusing to let him know the anxious effect he was having on me, I leaned forward slowly and allowed the end of the joint to connect with the exposed flame ensuring that my gaze never left his during the exchange. When the joint was successfully lit, I leaned myself back on the sun lounger exhaling some of the smoke that was lingering in my lungs.

"What are you doing in my house?" I questioned him in a bored tone, taking in his attire and demeanor.

He was wearing his usual black fitted jeans, which hugged his legs deliciously, accompanied by a pair of sleek black leather boots and a black fitted tee that was most definitely a size too small for him. He had a pair of black sunglasses sat on his face, preventing me from being able to search his irises for a single hint of what he was doing here.

He chuckled lowly, running his fingers through his brown locks as he sat down on one of the sun loungers opposite mine saying, "Hello to you too, Miss Delgado."

"Cut the formalities, Mr. Styles. What are you doing in my house?" I replied to him, bringing the joint back up to my lips and taking a hit as I kept my gaze on his features.

"You do know that you can be incredibly insufferable, don't you?" He retorted, a breathy laugh leaving his lips as he cocked his head slightly to the side.

I can be insufferable?

"Is there a specific reason that you're avoiding replying to my question, Mr. Styles?"

He shook his head, leaning forward and plucking the joint from my fingertips before bringing it up to his lips and taking a drag before exhaling the smoke into the air, "I'm here for a meeting with your father but he has a clean-up to take care of in his office."

My bad.

"So you decided to take a tour of the property?" I shot back at him, reaching over to my beverage on the table and taking a sip of the cold liquor.

"Is there something that you don't want me to see, Miss Delgado?" He questioned curiously, a cheeky smirk playing on the corners of his lips as he brought the joint up to them once more.

"Yes, Mr. Styles. Me."

He let out a genuine laugh at my statement, coughing slightly as the smoke involuntarily left his mouth during the ordeal. I couldn't help the slight smile that covered my features, having to try my absolute hardest to not laugh along with him.

"Well, I'm incredibly sorry to disappoint you, Miss Delgado. However, I believe it worked out in your favour," he spoke, leaning over to me to pass me the joint that I graciously accepted from him.

I raised my eyebrows at his statement, taking a drag of the joint and keeping my gaze fixed entirely on his from under my sunglasses, "How so?"

"You didn't have to lift your pretty little ass up from that lounger to go inside and get your lighter," he replied in a quiet, hushed tone. His voice was like gravel as he leaned forward on his elbows to stay eye level with me whilst also closing the distance slightly.

"Don't act as if that sight wouldn't have absolutely delighted you, Mr. Styles," I replied in a slight slow drawl, bringing the joint back up to my lips and taking a drag before passing it back to him.

I watched him chuckle, retrieving the joint from my grasp before responding with, "Oh, I certainly would have reveled at the sight, Miss Delgado. However, I don't think your father would have appreciated that."

"What makes you think I would have appreciated it either?" I questioned, picking up my double vodka and taking a final gulp.

"I didn't make that assumption, Miss Delgado. I simply agreed that I would have reveled at the sight."

I let out a sarcastic chuckle under my breath, watching him as he put the joint out in the ashtray before leaning himself back on the sun lounger fully. I couldn't comprehend why he would wear all-black attire that covered his full body in the blazing Los Angeles heat; then again, I couldn't quite comprehend anything that this man did. His features looked so defined and chiseled in the dim perception I could get of him from under my sunglasses. He looked completely relaxed and content at that moment, his chest was rising at a slow and steady pace as his hands rested behind his head.

I didn't understand his deal; I didn't know why he continuously kept appearing in my life. I also couldn't comprehend entirely why I was so bothered by it. I thought it was because of his demeanor and the way that he carried himself, but was it any different from how I carried myself day-to-day? The confidence and certainty that lingered in the air whenever he entered a room was something that I was all too familiar with when it came to myself and how I wanted to be perceived.

Harry Styles was no different to me in that sense, and I believed that might have been why I despised him so much.

Perhaps he saw through the façade that I was so sure I had down to perfection.

I shook the thoughts from my head, putting the bizarreness down to the weed that I'd consumed. I let out a breath that I didn't realise I'd been holding, stretching my body out slightly as I sank back down into my sun lounger.

"You're being awfully quiet, Miss Delgado," I heard his voice penetrate through the comfortable silence that had formed between us. His position on the lounger hadn't altered at all; he was still laid down in his black attire, sunglasses covering the upper half of his face.

"I don't see the point in saying pointless things. Best to say nothing at all than fill it up with the useless small talk," I responded truthfully, praying to the high heavens that he wouldn't continue the conversation and take the hint.

"What makes you believe that small talk is useless?" He questioned, turning his head on the lounger and looking at me from the safety of behind his glasses.

I guess God was off duty.

"It's just a way to fill the silence. If something was supposed to be said then there wouldn't be silence between us," I theorised, dipping my head back on the lounger to break the contact between our eyes.

"That's not necessarily true, though. Small talk is a way to get the conversation flowing so the useful information can come to light" he argued, lifting his sunglasses up off his face so he could see me more clearly.

"Small talk serves me no purpose. It's a tool used when you want to form a connection with someone. I've got no desire to form a connection with anybody," I spoke back, watching him hang onto my every word as he sat straight up on his lounger in a perplexed manner. It looked as if he couldn't wrap his head around what I was saying when in reality it was as clear as day to understand.

"You don't feel the desire to make connections to anyone?"

I shook my head, keeping my head back on the lounger, not feeling the need to elaborate on my statement. Connections weren't necessary to me, nor did they serve me any definitive purpose. Other than Lana and Papa, there wasn't anybody that I felt the need to hold close and dear to me. In this world, that only ends up in heartache. The fewer people I had in my immediate circle, the easier my life was.

I heard him rise from the lounger, his boots padding on the floor as he made his way over to my lounger. He seated himself at the foot of my lounger, pulling out his packet of cigarettes and placing one between his lips before leaning forward and placing one between my lips. I moved my head so I was at eye level with him, watching him intently as he reached forward to remove the sunglasses from my face. Our eyes locked instantly at that moment, his green irises interlocking with mine so deeply that it was as if he was deciphering my soul. I attempted to lower my gaze, not enjoying the feeling of intrusiveness I was feeling at that moment, but he placed his forefinger under my chin to bring our gazes back together.

"You're depriving yourself of the most important human feelings in order to survive, Miss Delgado. That's exactly what you're doing; surviving and not living."

The words struck me like knives to the chest, a sinking feeling that I wasn't used to erupting in the pit of my stomach. I parted my lips slightly in order to allow oxygen to reach my lungs, forgetting that he had placed a cigarette there prior to his statement. I was at a loss for words at his conclusion, I couldn't get my brain to catch up with me as I stayed frozen on the lounger. How could a man that I barely know read me on such a personal level?

A feeling of defensiveness ran through my veins; the only emotion I was completely in tune with at this point. I removed the cigarette from my lips in order to be able to deliver my next statement to the best of my ability, still feeling the sinking feeling in my stomach as I locked our gaze.

"How am I supposed to live if I can't successfully survive?"

His features were delivering a look of what I can only describe as defeat as soon as the words left my mouth. I placed the cigarette back in between my lips, holding my hand out to him for a lighter expectantly. He placed the lighter in my hand, shaking his head as he stood up from the lounger with his cigarette still hanging out of his mouth.

"Your father is expecting me inside," was all that left his mouth as he turned on his heel and began to make his way back to the property, not waiting for my response.

I let out a shaky exhale of smoke as I placed the cigarette back in between my lips, closing my eyes at the feeling of relief washing over my body until I heard his voice ring through the air once more.

"You know where to find me if you want to experience living, Celeste."

/. AHHHHHH! HOW ARE WE FEELING, BABIES?????