"sammy will get upset with me too"

Today was one of those quiet days where simple currents of the warm wind drifted by, lightly ruffling the tree branches. The sun rose early and was perched in the sky, surrounded by pure cotton candy clouds which danced around slowly. My denim shorts and random t-shirt allowed the warm air to tickle my legs and arms that were left bare due to the hot summer weather. I left my feet bare as I wandered around on the soft grass, trying to find some sort of inspiration to spark my urge to sketch.

I found a nice shady spot under the lemon tree and began sketching the leaves of the rose petals across from me. I hadn't sketched in a while and it felt so calming when the lead of the pencil scraped gently against the thin paper.

Sighing, I breathed in the fresh air and focused on my drawing.

The shape of a face began to appear but I couldn't continue because a soft and childish voice spoke through the silence.

"Iris."

A soft and childish voice broke my concentration a few minutes later. I had almost completed one of the rose petals. I turned my head swiftly to try to find the voice. The voice revealed the be Suri's, who was leaning on the fence with her head peeped through one of the bars.

I smiled instantly, dropping my sketchbook on to the floor and standing up to greet her. "Good morning Suri, how are you?"

I leaned over the fence to see that it wasn't as high as I thought it was, "Do you want me to carry you over?"

Suri smiled cheekily. "Yes, please."

I stood on my tippy toes and brought my hands under her arms, pulling her over the fence and down on to the grass.

I couldn't help but grin at her cute face and her attire. I assumed she had only just woken up although it was eleven now because she still wore her pyjamas. It was one of those traditional pyjamas where the pants and buttoned up top matched with different kiddish patterns or images. Suri must have been a fan of the movie Frozen so a picture of Elsa was imprinted on the front. And she was also barefoot like me.

"So what are you doing out here?" I asked Siri who only glanced around at the front yard.

She shrugged. "My older sister is at work or school and never comes home anymore so I have no one to play with."

"Oh," I replied. "What about your older brother? Are you guys not close?"

Suri shook her head. "We are close. He's just upset in his room."

My brows furrowed. "Why?"

"He said you didn't say yes to him and now he's sad," Suri explained sorrowfully, playing with the edges of her pyjama top.

"What?" I asked, extremely confused.

"He said you didn't say yes to him and now he's sad," she repeated but this time looking at the floor and murmured, "I shouldn't have told you. Sammy will get upset with me too."

I bent down onto my knees so that I was facing her. "Don't worry. Sammy won't know."

It felt so strange when the name 'Sammy' rolled of my tongue. It was such an innocent and cute nickname for a child to have for an older brother.

"He will be even more upset now," Suri frowned anxiously.

I sighed, deciding to say it now before I could chicken out. "He won't be upset."

"Why?"

"Because you will be my messenger and you can tell him that need to talk to him," I concluded definitely.

"Will that make him happy?" Suri looked at me with tiny creased brows.

I smiled gently. "Hopefully it will make him feel much better."

Suri looked relieved like she had just found buried treasure or a key to a chest of gold and diamonds. She grinned at me excitedly. "I'll go tell him now."

She didn't leave any room for debate as she happily skipped to the front gate of our house, walking through it and back into her house, instead of climbing over the fence like she did earlier.

My smile weakened a bit when I realised what I had done. I had just indirectly agreed to talk to Sam after two weeks of silence. Mother would be very pleased to hear this but I wouldn't. I don't want to talk to him, knowing that all we'll be doing is sitting around awkwardly. I'll just apologise and then it will all be over and everything will go back to normal.

Almost normal.

I felt an unconscious smile appear on my face at the thought.

After the kiss, Carson asked me out on a date and I said yes. So I guess it wouldn't be the same after that. We walked back to the fair to help May pack up all wet and she shooed us away immediately; not wanting to be wet herself. But after that, I spoke to May and 'told her the deets' (those were her exact words) about what happened with Carson. Just like any other time, she squealed and hugged me, before jumping back in shock realising that I was still soaked.

The smile faltered when I realised I had said no to Sam because 'I needed to focus on my studies' and here I was going around losing my first kiss and going on dates.

A few minutes later, Suri came out and walked to the fence. "I didn't ask Sam but my mum says you can come to talk to him."

I nodded, brushing off the stray grass and dirt from my shorts and walked over to their house. I rubbed my dirt stained feet on the 'welcome' mat and followed Suri into the house.

"Sam's room is on the left." Suri pointed up the stairs.

I nodded. "Thank you."

I walked slowly and nervously up the stairs.

I reached the white wooden door. I curled my hand into a fist and lifted it in preparation to knock. I let out a rocky breath and my hand came in contact with the wood.

The door swung open harshly and I winced.

Sam's hair was ruffled and knotted so it resembled a mop. He wore a blue loose t-shirt that read 'happy' and grey sweatpants that were two inches above his ankles and were too short for him.

"Sam, I--"

"Save it."

"--I'm sorry."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am. I know I hurt you but--"

"You're in love with Carson?" He raised his brows.

I opened my mouth and shut it. "W-What? No."

He narrowed his eyes. "Don't pretend to be stupid. I saw you with him all day at the fair. Your mother asked me to find you because you needed to go home early but you weren't in sight, so I had to look for you. I found you two very heated in a very cold lake."

"I--"

"You said 'Exams are commencing and it will be too hard for you to focus.' but here you are wandering off with another guy. Be real, that was just a lame excuse because you didn't like me."

"No, I do like you. And I'm sorry but only as a friend. I just never saw you in that way and I apologise. I'm really sorry. It's just, I've known Carson longer."

Sam sighed. "No, I understand. I just don't like being lied to."

I shook my head. "I don't like to either, but what I said wasn't a lie. I do need to focus but Carson...he just changed that. That's all."

Sam nodded, his expression still cold. "I get it."

I lifted my hand and left it out for him to shake. "Friends?"

He shook it and his tone was disappointed but understanding nonetheless. "All right." 

AN: so im almost done writing the last chapter so yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 

im sooooo close to finishing my first book and im so excited. 

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