Maybe if I had been more aware of these conditions I would have been treated?

Who knows?

The story as it went down was so different to what others saw from outside. The pain, the days I forgot, the sleepy dreamlike state those years held but nothing can prepare you for how low it drags you. How close to that edge you constantly stand while thinking you are getting better. You see paradise ahead not the jagged rocks covering the bottom of the cliff. I call her the tyrant now but back then she was Rachel this voice helping me stay on track. Stay on track to plummeting but she puts up a good front and keeps that illusion going. You never suspect her. She's harmless at first but she hears your securities. At first she reassures you then she will latch onto them and nourish them while killing you. I will let that story play out for you.