"If you are sleeping alone tonight let me be your lullaby."

LUCY 

My parents always had their alarm clock set on six in the morning. That way they could get ready for work and I could get dressed for school. The routine worked well - I never once had a conduct mark for being tardy to class and for an elementary kid that meant everything, almost as much as having the most colors. That was until I came into the third grade and the chaos began. 

It was three in the morning on a Tuesday and my parents woke up to loud crashes from the kitchen. My dad instantly grabbed the house phone and dialed nine-one-one while my mom was the one to speck out the situation. She had dad's hockey stick up in the air, ready to knock the intruder out cold if she had to. The authorities by then were heading out to our house while my dad made his way to my room to get me. 

"You better get out. . . I have a gun!" My mom made the sound effect of her taking a safety off. That wasn't the first time she had been through a robbery and she picked up on tricks to scare them away. She even had a security system installed but it wasn't blaring off, so she figured the intruder must have came through a window or something. 

There was more clashing of metal from around the corner which made my mom's grip tighten on the hockey stick. She had prayed every night for her not to defend her family this way, but it looked like my mom had no choice. It was either the trespasser or our family. 

Sucking in a breath, my mom built up enough courage to peek into the kitchen. In the dark she could barely even make out the cabinets and island yet alone a shadowing figure. 

Another crash made her jump back, flinching into my dad. She turned around, ready to pull back and wait for the authorities with him, but my dad had a different agenda. 

He strode into the kitchen and dared to flick the light on. My mom was horrified up until she followed behind him and found the little intruder. 

Low and behold it was me in my Barbie night gown. 

"Lucy! What in the world are you doing?" My mom dropped the hockey stick with shaky hands and grabbed onto me. 

She had expected a hug back but when she received nothing, my mom spun me around. She was met by two vacant eyes, a mouth muttering incoherent words, and a beautiful stream of drool dribbling down my chin. For some reason in that state of attractiveness it made my parents scared even more than the thought of a burglar breaking in. 

Or at least that was what they told me the hundreds of times they retold the tale. Apparently ever since I began to sleepwalk I suddenly turned into the walking dead and could never hold the memory of it for too long. Because they never stopped retelling it. Never. 

"Guys, seriously. Don't worry about me tonight around my friends. No locks, nightly checks - oh, and definitely no motion detectors. Please no motion detectors. That would be bad considering the fact Cara has the bladder of a peanut." I wrapped up the last of the party favors, eyeing my parents. When I received disgruntled expressions I sighed. "Okay, you can do the nightly checks. Seriously, though. Be quiet. Wouldn't want to wake them up or something. What - why are you looking at me like that?" 

"Why do we need a reason to look at you?" My dad hid his smile well. "You're our beautiful seventeen year old girl, after all."

"That reminds me," I pressed my lips in a thin line, "-- do not say stuff like that tonight. Weird, weird, weird. Did I mention weird?"

Thankfully my parents let my anxiety churn without their help, exiting out of the kitchen while chuckling among themselves. They never understood boundaries - even with each other - and that tended to leave me in awkward situations. Whether that be because they made out when ever they felt like it - horrifying sight - or the sudden outbursts of affection they wanted to bestow upon me in public. I never enjoyed being touched and yet - despite them knowing this - they did it anyway. I would get a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek whenever a friend from school walked by us in the mall. Or a huge hug that took me off the ground and landed me feet away from my launch point. 

The ding of the oven took the image of my parents kissing out of my head. Thank the lord. I padded around the kitchen island and put on the oven mitts. The scent of strawberries poured out of the oven once I opened it, a perfect pink cake made with love catching my eye. 

"Damn it," I hissed lowly. I told my dad multiple times to buy a new pair of oven mitts and he always answered with a definite yes. Two weeks later and I was burning myself on my birthday. Typical. "Fuck."

The pan was dropped onto the counter before the heat became unbearable. I half expected my parents to reappear due to the oh-so-familiar sound of crashing metal, but they did not. Thankfully the cake remained in tact too, but I could not have said the same about the oven mitts though. With one last hateful glare, I threw them in the trash. Then, observing my hands, I refrained from yelling out at my dad what a liar he was. He really needed to back up his words. 

Before I had a chance to begin the buttercream icing my phone buzzed in my back pocket. I quickly took it out, the I.D. Little Chicken flashing. It was funny, really, how friendship worked out. You could call each other the craziest of things yet it doesn't phase each other. According to the dazzling Jacklyn Kate Jensen, I was her late-night-booty-call-without-the-booty. Some might be offended by such a reference, but I adored it just as much as I adored her. 

'Can I come early today? Parents are being -' Her choice of emoji made me laugh. It seemed her parents were resembling a pile of shit. I wasn't surprised, though. Jacklyn Kate's parents were insane. They were very adamant on choosing every step J.K. took her whole life. And since graduation next school year was nearing they wanted to talk about college nearly twenty-four-seven. 

I was quick to answer. 'Of course. You can help me with my cake!'

'Okie dokie, sounds fun.' J.K. replied. 

By the time J.K. got to my house I was already done with the cake. It was two hours later, only thirty minutes before my party began, when Jacklyn Kate trudged in and dropped her bag of stuff on the floor. When she saw I had finished the cake, she frowned. 

"I told my parents you would do it without me," she mumbled. "I could have made it look like a million bucks, but no, I had to talk to colleges on the phone."

I gasped. "What are you saying, my cake looks bad because I decorated it?"

J.K. wasn't afraid to hurt my feelings. "Basically."

"Shush, shush. That isn't what you're supposed to tell the birthday girl." I swatted her away when she tried to grab me in for one of her infamous hugs. 

She only smiled then tried again, that time succeeding. "Happy Birthday, Lucy!"

"Thank you, J.K.." I chuckled, then squeezed her. "Can you believe how old we are getting?"

"I know right?" She dared to dip her finger into the side of the cake - my cake - and lick the icing off the end. "We're almost adults. That is freaking scary."

The thought was mind boggling and very, very scary. Was I even ready to go off on my own? I've barely even started driving, yet alone bought a house and get a job!" At this I blew out a heavy breath, shaking my head. "Don't even remind me." I nearly shivered. 

Eventually time flew by and I found my house full of hungry, loud teenager girls staring at my cake with big eyes. It was very flattering, but I was determined to wait until later in the night to eat it. So, I cleared my throat, catching the attention of all my close friends. 

There was Cara Inane - the one who was drinking my bottles of root beer. She had just come back from soccer practice and she was tired of drinking water and Gatorade at her house. Her dad was strict on her diet, and soda was a definite no-no. So every time she came to my house she drowned herself is sodas, no matter the type. Even the cherry flavors, despite the fact she hated them. So there she was, the jock in a grass stained soccer uniform, her fifth soda protectively in her hand. 

"Do you have any Dr. Pepper, Lucy?" she asked while sipping the last of her drink. 

Abby was the one to answer for me. "She doesn't." At that Cara frowned, throwing the empty can in the trash. When she turned away Abby leaned in towards me, a smirk on her face. "Do you have any Dr. Pepper?" 

I laughed. "Yes, I do. Back of the fridge."

Red hair whipped at my face - that was how fast Abby took off to the fridge. She was always a bundle of laughter, and that moment was no different. We met barely a year ago in art class but it was friendship at first joke. She was corny, hilarious, yet extremely serious when it came to her favorite things. Exactly why she was seriously grabbing a Dr. Pepper out of the refrigerator while keeping an eye on Cara's back. She must have wanted all of them to herself. Typical Abby. 

The last VIP at my party was the one and only Jacklyn Kate - who felt it was about time for cake because she took the liberty of grabbing my parents from canoodling in their room to sing Happy Birthday. 

"Everyone, come around the counter, please. Time to sing our hearts out," my dad said, grinning wide. ".. Or we could just eat the cake." I struck him a look. "Okay, yeah, I guess we gotta sing." 

All too soon the sound of dying animals sounded through the air, scaring my cat Rachel out of the room. Even so I could not wipe the smile off my face. I was surrounded by people I cared about and had a delicious strawberry cake in front of me. Who wouldn't be happy?

"Alright sweetie, make a wish." My mom pressed her hand on my back. 

I paused for a few moments, taking this wish very seriously. Ever since my sixth birthday when my wish actually came true I had taken the time to think. So I did just that: thought. I could have wished for prosperity and health, but I took a much more selfish approach. I wanted a certain someone to finally notice me. He didn't need to ask me out or become close with me. All I wanted was for said guy to realize I existed and remember my name. That wasn't hard, was it?

And so I blew out my candles wishing just that. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

After my friends devoured half of the cake and played some Wii games with my family and I, we eventually settled inside of my room. I had planned to spend the rest of the night without my parents, but apparently they didn't realize that. Again, they never thought about boundaries. 

What was next, we would braid each other's hair and gossip?

So I wrinkled my nose, stopping them from entering my room with a bowl of popcorn. "What are you dong?"

They each gazed back at each other before looking at me. "Going to watch the movie.." My mom finally answered. This earned them a frown. "Oh, okay." She finally realized. "A movie in our room."

My dad still had confusion written all over him but he just followed my mom. Once they wrapped around the corner and disappeared from sight I shut my door.

"Okay, now that my parents are gone," a wicked smile crossed my face, "who wants to watch something on Netflix like the crazy young kids we are?" When I received an applause, I bobbed my head. "See, this is why we are friends." I clicked my tongue. "We completely get each other!"

Everyone laughed. Everyone except J.K. who was looking too awestruck at her phone. 

I grabbed the nearest thing by me, Cara's socks, and then chunked them at J.K.'s direction. At first she did not even react, but when she did, those fiery green eyes I knew so well seemed to bore into my soul. "Excuse me," she choked on her words, throwing the soccer socks back at me. "Can't a girl stare at Clayton Hugh's new Instagram picture for just a second? I didn't know it was a crime to stare at something you would never even get to touch." 

"Clayton?" Now I was the one choking, making all eyes turn towards me. Was I really that obvious? "I highly doubt the picture deserves to be stared at for more than a few seconds. Lemme see." At this J.K. wiggled her brows at me. I could attempt to downplay Clayton Hugh, but there was no use. J.K. could see right through me. "Wow, okay. What kind of guy takes a selfie of himself shirtless when he is supposed to be mowing the lawn?"

"Obviously Clayton." Cara grabbed the phone and eyed the shirtless boy in the image. I wanted to snatch it back. Stare at it more. See if I could zoom in and catch those blue-green eyes in a moment of heat. But I refrained. That in itself deserved a pat on the back later on. "He is so hot." Cara sighed. "Why can't all boys look like him?"

"I don't get the appeal that much," Abby chimed in from her corner. She already had out the candy from the party favor, ready to watch a movie. Clayton Hugh was just another distraction to her. To be fair though she was never a fan of the baseball player. Once she called him a meat-head jock with no flavor. Abby wanted someone spicy. Unique. Not so perfect, I supposed. "Now can we please watch the movie." She huffed, busy unwrapping a Twix bar. "Please."

To be honest I did really want to watch a movie but talking about boys felt like we were in a movie ourselves. It was weird to think, I knew that, but it felt like we were in one of those chicklit's at a slumber party. We would talk about boys, possibly play truth and dare, then one of us would be dared to venture out in the late hours seeking said boys' hearts. It was far from reality, but it was cool to think up. Especially if the guy would be Clayton. 

Clayton Hugh was a total heartthrob in every sense of the word. With his tussled blonde hair and exuberant smile, he was exceptionally good looking, a great pitcher and first basemen, charming, smart, and even had the room to fit in being artistic, too, if everything else wasn't enough. That wasn't even mentioning the fact he was foreign, with a cute little Norwegian accent. He had moved here permanently three years ago after doing time in the exchange student program at our school. That was when it started. The very thing that lead me to use my seventeenth birthday wish on him. 

"Okay, c'mon now. We gotta hold off on him since he is all Lucy's." J.K. patted my knee with a wink. "She is basically in love with him after all."

"In love?!" I choked for what felt like the hundredth time that night. "Dude, no. I am not anywhere close in love with him," I exasperated. When J.K. raised a brow I sighed. "I mean, I am definitely interested in him - not in that way. More like, uh - like a crush or something. I don't know. Yeah."

Which was completely true. At the time being I had a school girl crush on Clayton. It was sweet and innocent. I didn't desire his body like a lot of other girls had. All I wanted was to talk to him, get to know more about his life in Norway, possibly go on a date. Then again what girl at my school - besides Abby - didn't like the sound of that. 

"When you guys have babies together one day--" J.K. looked straight at me, fire in her eyes, "-- i'm going to say I told you so."

Scoffing, I shook my head then grabbed the T.V. remote from her. Jacklyn Kate was so insufferable at times. Dealing with her it looked like I should have just left the cliche movie scenes inside of the movies. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - 

It was nearing four in the morning and after four movies and a whole cake my friends were fast asleep. They looked so sound snugged in their sleeping bags. It almost made me want to fall asleep too. Almost. Instead I continued scrolling through Netflix trying to find another movie to watch, my eyes bloodshot and beginning to become itchy. 

When I suggested having a sleepover for my seventeenth birthday my parents warned me something like that would happen. My anxiety would keep me on edge and awake all night. And if I finally were to fall asleep my sleepwalking would be restless - possibly dangerous to myself and the people around me. 

I should have listened to them, but a flash of hope for a normal life had caused me to blindside my logic. 

The sound of my door clicking open barely even caught my attention. It wasn't until my dad whispered my name a few times before I noticed his presence. It must have been four by now because my parents did hourly checks on me, switching every hour shift. 

"You need to sleep, Lucy." He sighed when I shook my head indignantly. "So are you just going to stay up all night? That's what you are gonna do?" 

I nodded. I was too exhausted to do anymore. 

"What if you slept in Jacob's room?" That hung thick in the air for a long time. Most of it I was trying to process what he had just asked. "We'll be able to lock you in there. Motion detectors if you want them." He too mimicked my actions and yawned. "Just c'mon, already. Before your friends wake up."

Slowly my blurred vision casted over the sleeping bodies in the room. They looked so peaceful. I wanted to look that peaceful when I slept. 

I scratched at my eyes. "Okay," I mumbled. 

Eventually I found my way to my brother's old room. There was a few times I almost toppled over and fell asleep right there in the hallway, but thankfully my dad was alert even when he was exhausted too. 

"Almost there." My dad guided me around Jacob's boxes of things and to the bed. "There you go," he coo'ed like I was a child. "Now you can sleep."

I nestled under the sheets, enjoying the leftover scent from my brother. He had been gone for nearly two years now and his smell had never left. It was so comforting. After giving me a kiss on the cheek and setting the motion detector down on the ground, my dad eventually left, not forgetting to lock the door. 

I laid there for what felt like ages. Eyes closed. Breathing steady. Heart calmly thumping in my chest. I felt so at ease with the world; that nothing bad could ever happen if I just slipped into a slumber and fell into a wash of peace. 

Maybe tonight would be the night my sleepwalking would end. Just maybe. 

A ghost of a smile played its way on my face at the thought. Then I fell asleep. 

Go ahead and try out my new story "Tea with Lee"! <3