Chapter 1 - Kiss The Bride

Kwon Yuri stood in the dressing room looking into the mirror, sweat beads forming on her forehead. She had never felt more nervous in her life. Today was indeed going to be a fateful day; it would be the day where she would utter those two little words and be bound to the woman of her dreams for the rest of her life. Today Kwon Yuri was going to be married to Jessica Jung.

Yuri and Jessica had begun dating in their senior year at Seoul High School. It didn't take long for them or their friends to see that they were destined to be together. Once they graduated from college, Yuri had asked for Jessica's hand in marriage on a bended knee. Jessica had immediately accepted and threw her arms around Yuri’s neck, crying tears of joy. Neither of them would ever forget that day.

Yuri fidgeted uneasily as Sooyoung, her “best man”, tried desperately to adjust her tie. In the mirror Yuri could see her father and brother, Jae, standing by the door, smiling at her. Yuri tried to give a grin in return but it turned out terribly weak. She was too nervous to smile. It felt as though there were a swarm of butterflies fluttering about in her stomach.

When Yuri’s tie was perfectly straight Mr. Kwon clapped Yuri on the shoulder and said, "Never seen you look better with a tie on," with a slight grin.

Though Yuri looked beautiful in her new tailored tuxedo, her hair was still a bit messed up. The hairdresser had tried everything to get it to stay in place and for the most part it did, but stray little pieces of hair stuck up here and there and there was nothing she could do about it. Yuri sighed as Sooyoung walked up beside her.

"Don’t be nervous, Yuri," said Sooyoung, patting her friend on the back. Instead of consoling her, this just made Yuri's stomach feel worse.

"Easy for you to say..." Yuri muttered. She then broke away from her friends and family and sat down on the chair in the corner, putting her head into her hands. "You’re not the one getting married," she mumbled.

Sooyoung and Jae rolled their eyes at each other as Yuri picked up her carnation from the end table and fastened it to her suit.

"Come on, Yuri. Cheer up. People might think you’re at a funeral," said Jae, kneeling down beside Yuri and giving her a playful punch in the arm. "You're getting married to the love of your life. What's there to be nervous about? You should be happy because Jessica loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you. That's all that matters, really."

Yuri smiled at her brother. He always had a way with making her feel better. "You know..." she began, getting up from her seat and brushing herself off, "You're right."

*****

"Jessica, would you stop fidgeting? Let me fix your dress.” Kim Hyoyeon yelled at her long-time friend Jessica.

"Sorry, Hyo," Jessica said, straightening up a bit as Hyoyeon pulled at the veil planted on her head.

Jessica could remember being a bridesmaid at Hyoyeon's wedding only a year ago. It had been absolutely magnificent but now that it was her turn to be the bride it seemed anything but magnificent. Nerve-wrecking was more like it; she had been struggling to calm down all morning.

"Hyoyeon?" Jessica asked as her friend finished adjusting her veil for her.

"Yes, Jessica?"

" You weren't nervous when you married Sooyoung, were you?"

"Of course I was! I just hid it well, Jessica." she gave her friend a wink, "You know, I was so nervous I had to breathe into a paper bag to calm down before I walked the aisle. But afterwards I looked back and saw that it was for nothing. No worries, Jessica. Now come on, it’s almost time for you and Yuri to tie the knot," she said, opening the dressing room door.

Jessica took one last look into the mirror, gave a confident nod and walked out the door past Hyoyeon.

*****

A few minutes later Yuri stood waiting at the altar, music from the church organ filling her ears and behind her stood Sooyoung, smiling broadly. Mr. Kwon and Jae were sitting in front of her with the rest of the family. Like most everyone else, they were staring down the aisle, waiting for Jessica to appear. Yuri had not seen her since the night before and she felt as though the anticipation was killing her. Her heart was drumming rapidly against her ribs.

All the guests were quiet as the little flower girl progressed up the isle to where Yuri stood tall with a fervent expression on. Her fingers were tangled together until she twisted them through her raven black hair. Sooyoung chuckled from behind Yuri, looking at her nervous friend, who was already sweating over taking her chances with her true love. The flower girl was directed to stand next to Yuri's parents, after throwing the last of the white petals to the ground in front of the altar.

The air was silent for a brief moment before the music began, signaling for the bride to walk down the aisle. The white polished doors opened and Yuri felt her stomach tighten. There were no words for this moment. Jessica appeared at the door, dressed in gleaming white. The lights of the church cast a wonderful glow upon her as she walked down the aisle. Yuri's stomach fluttered as Jessica smiled at her.

Mr. Jung came to Jessica's side to guide her up the church aisle, giving her away to Yuri. She gladly took hold of Jessica's cold hand, helping her up onto the stage of the altar. Mr. Jung then took his place beside his wife, who was sitting in the front row. 

Jessica's dress was simple, but she loved it just the same. Her mother had been wed in the dress and now she was doing the same. It was made of plain white silk and its long train left a trail behind her. Her auburn hair was placed up in an elegant bun upon her head, away from her radiant face.

They stared into each other's eyes as they said their vows. Their smiles grew as they exchanged rings. Sooyoung did not delay in pulling the two golden bands from her pocket and handing them to the couple. She was honored to help this union.

"Kwon Yuri, do you take Jessica Jung to be your wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Jessica Jung, do you take Kwon Yuri to be your wife?"

"I do."

"You may kiss the bride." The minister stepped back, away from the couple. 

Jessica and Yuri kissed and bound themselves to each other for life. Many people in the audience began to cry while others clapped, some whistled, and some cheered. 

To Yuri their kiss seemed to last forever and she had a bit of trouble pulling away from Jessica. She wanted it to last forever, for it was the sweetest one they had ever shared. It was Jessica who pulled away. They stared into each other's eyes, completely blocking out the rest of the world. 

Together at last.

-----------------------------

Chapter 2 - One Year Later

It’s been a year since they said their vows. It’s been a year since they last said the two words that bound them together. It’s been a year since they were married and it’s been a year since there was an empty void in their hearts.

They lived in a full-sized apartment downtown that was given as a marriage gift from both of their parents a year ago. They moved in after their honeymoon to Paris; Jessica always wanted to go there. 

She was a rising fashion designer, so where better to go than Paris? Yuri complied to her wishes as long as she could see Jessica smile, but that was one year ago. Now they were like two strangers living under one roof. 

The love that blossomed between them had faded away; the time they spent together was getting shorter and shorter and their only form of communication was through the nightly dinner that Jessica ordered once she was done with work. 

The bed that they slept on now separated them, a pillow in between their bodies. They lost all sorts of intimacy from kissing to hugging or touching. 

Their relationship was hanging on by a thread and they did nothing to repair it; instead they continued on with their daily lives as if nothing had ever happened between them.

*****

Yuri looked over the document one last time before she signed it and closed the folder holding it. She stood up from her seat and put on her blazer before stepping out of her office. 

“Leaving already, Ms. Kwon?” asked Tiffany as she looked away from computer screen. She stood up and made her way towards Yuri.

“Have you reviewed the Lee’s business proposal? They have a few interesting things in there.”

“I see you’re getting better, Fany-ah,” smiled Yuri as she gazed at the mesmerizing eyes that curved into smiles once Yuri spoke, “And yes, I have looked over the proposal and signed the papers. They are on my desk”

Tiffany nodded her head as she looked down shyly with a crimson tint forming on her cheeks. Yuri took notice of it and smiled proudly as if she had discovered a hidden secret. 

Tiffany was hired into the firm three months ago in replacement of Mrs. Sung, Yuri’s old assistant, who had been aging. 

Yuri would be lying to herself if she said that Tiffany was not beautiful. With a perfectly proportionate body and curves that could make anyone do a double take, she was simply breath taking. The fact that she was half American also stood out. 

Suddenly, Yuri frowned.

She remembered Jessica and she had to remind herself it was time to go home. She let out a sigh and ran her hand through her hair as she thought of having a quiet and awkward dinner with Jessica, for the millionth time.

“Is there anything wrong, Ms. Kwon?” asked Tiffany.

Yuri shook her head and smiled at her, “No, just a bit tired. Anyway if you need anything feel free to contact me,” said Yuri. She smiled one last time to Tiffany before she made her way to the elevator. “Oh, by the way, don’t stay up too late,” winked Yuri.

*****

Jessica sat on the couch as the television filled the empty apartment with noises. Her mind was occupied as she kept playing with her wedding ring, swirling it round and round. 

She loved Yuri with all her heart but this void between them was killing her. There was so many times when Jessica was tired and she wanted to fall asleep in Yuri’s arms. 

There were so many times when she wanted to cuddle with Yuri when they would watch the news or late night movies on the weekends. There was so many times she wished everything just went back to the way they were.

Earlier that day, when she had finished work, she was passing a restaurant to pick up her usual order for dinner when an advertisement caught her attention. 

In bright red with bold black outline were the words: “Marriage Counseling.” She hesitated at first but on her way back home, thought about it. She just wanted everything to return back to normal. 

She snapped out of her thoughts as she heard the door open and close. She stood up instantly. “I’m home,” said Yuri as she took off her coat and hung it up in the closet. 

Before Jessica could utter a word, Yuri walked up the stairs without acknowledging Jessica’s presence. Jessica took this as a sign to start dinner and prepare the table.

It took few minutes till Jessica got everything set on the table and she sat down on one side as she waited for Yuri. 

Yuri entered the dining room as she finished changing into her usual sweatpants and t-shirt. The latter took her seat opposite of Jessica and took hold of the utensils and started eating. 

Jessica looked down on her plate and tried to keep her composure. She hated this feeling.

“How was your day?” Jessica asked, as she scooped some vegetables and placed it on her plate. 

She waited to see if Yuri would look up to her and reply, but the latter didn’t. Yuri kept her head down as she ate.

“It was good, how was yours?” replied Yuri as she munched on her food. Jessica played around with the vegetables, taking a bite or two from time to time. 

“It was good also, we got huge clients coming in, so I’m kind of excited,” answered Jessica. 

There was no response from Yuri except for a nod as she continued with her food. Jessica smiled sadly as she looked down on her plate.

“Your mom called today to ask if we could make it to their 60th anniversary,” said Jessica. She wanted to talk about anything just so she could get Yuri’s attention. 

“When is it?” asked Yuri as she looked up at Jessica briefly. Jessica smiled as brightly as she could before Yuri looked away. 

“It’s in two or three weeks; she said she would call to confirm it.” 

Once again Yuri only nodded and got up as she finished eating dinner. When she walked out of the room without a word, Jessica dropped her walls and let a lone tear escape her eye.

*****

Yuri lay on her bed with a file that she was reading through before going to sleep. Jessica came out of the bathroom and instead of going to her usual side of the bed, Jessica approached Yuri and sat down. 

Yuri looked surprised as she raised her eyebrows and placed the file down. She realized that Jessica’s eyes were a bit red and swollen.

“Yuri,” her voice cracked and Yuri stared at her, confused and slightly worried. “I have been thinking about this for a while and I think…” 

Yuri watched her as she took a deep breath and continued, “…we need marriage counseling.”

-----------------------------

Chapter 3 - Counseling

Yuri tapped her foot impatiently while she waited for the counselor in his office. After fighting with Jessica the whole morning, Yuri was finally dragged into the car and now into the office of the counselor. 

Jessica sat next to her but paid her no attention; she was still angry.

“I am sorry for my tardiness. I wasn’t informed that I had patients,” said the counselor as he entered the office and made his way towards them. 

He was a bespectacled man, circular frames, with taut skin that seemed to stretch over his once-prominent cheekbones. He looked like he was worn from looking too deeply into others.

“It is our mistake. We came suddenly without an appointment,” said Jessica as she stood up to shake the counselor’s hand, but Yuri refused to budge and stayed seated. 

The counselor sat in his chair behind the desk and opened the file that was placed in front of him. Once he reviewed it he closed it and looked up at the couple in front of him.

“So tell me Ms. Kwon and Ms. Jung, what are you here for?” asked the counselor as he leaned back on the chair and folded his arms across his chest.

“This is a waste of time,” stated Yuri as she shifted her position, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. 

The counselor stared at her and she gritted her teeth in anger; he had no right to intervene in their marriage.

“If I may ask, why do you think this is a waste of time?”

Yuri watched as the counselor took a small pad and pen and started taking notes. She wasn’t going to talk. 

Yuri was forced to come here could not be forced to participate.

“We have some problems,” Jessica started as she realized the atmosphere was becoming tense between Yuri and the counselor.

“We don’t have any problems!”

“Yes we do, Yuri.”

“No we don’t.”

“Our marriage is falling apart.”

Yuri clenched her fist as she heard those words leave Jessica’s mouth. She tensed up as she looked away, avoiding eye contact and clenched her teeth to stop them from quivering.

“Is it true Yuri? Is your marriage falling apart?” asked the counselor as he took more notes.

She opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out. She kept clenching and unclenching her fist nervously. For a minute she felt that the truth lingering in the back of her mind was slowly revealing itself.

She looked at Jessica but she was staring down at her hands. 

“Should I take your silence as a ‘yes’?” said the counselor as he took off his glasses.

Yuri ignored him and stared at Jessica; she needed to see her eyes.

“Is this how you really feel?” Yuri asked her, “You feel we’re falling apart.” Part of her didn’t want to hear what Jessica had to say, but the other part of her wanted the truth.

“Everything has changed Yuri, ever since we got married, and…I feel like I don’t know you anymore.”

Jessica’s voice was cracking and Yuri knew she was on the verge of crying. 

Yuri scoffed as she looked away from Jessica. She tried to place her stance on her, but it was getting harder for her. Her hands were trembling and she hated the lingering gaze of the counselor.

“Yuri what are your thoughts on this?” he asked.

Yuri didn’t utter a word as she tried to compose herself, not only in front of the counselor but also in front of Jessica, her wife. Jessica tried to reach out and hold on to Yuri’s hand, but she pulled away.

“Jessica would it be possible if I talk to Yuri alone for a minute? I suggest a one-on-one session would be more suitable with Yuri.” He smiled politely at Jessica.

Jessica nodded as she stood up and looked at Yuri one last time before heading out. When they heard the click of the door that indicated that Jessica left, the counselor’s eyes adjusted firmly on Yuri who returned the gaze with much ill-fated intensity. 

“So Yuri, tell me about yourself.”

“There is nothing you should know about me,” she replied coldly as bit her tongue to prevent her from slipping any curse words at the end of her sentence. 

The smile that was etched on his face frustrated her even further.

“Don’t think you have the right to sit behind that desk and interrogate me about my marriage life. It is my marriage and I do not need a counselor to help me fix up my relationship with my wife,” retorted Yuri.

“So you admit there is something wrong in your relationship.” 

Yuri blinked and broke her gaze from the counselor. She then heard a movement and when she looked back she saw the counselor standing up and walking to the front of the desk. He leaned against the table and folded his arm as he looked down at Yuri.

“Unlike Jessica, you hide your pain and fear so well. It is obvious to me that you still love Jessica, but she doesn’t know it,” he said as he removed his eyeglasses and polished it with a cloth on his desk. “Why are you locking away your love for her?”

For that moment as the counselor gazed down at Yuri she felt weak and defeated. 

“I don’t lock away anything” she replied hoarsely as she gripped the end of the chair tightly. “It’s just…” she paused; she didn’t want to admit it.

Sensing Yuri’s hesitation the counselor sat on the chair next to her, where Jessica once sat. 

“Whatever you say is between us Yuri, it’s confidential, not even Jessica will be able to know”.

Yuri hesitated for a moment. She peered into the counselor's eyes, felt the weight bearing down on her chest, and let loose the rush of emotions she had been bottling up.

It was finally time.

-----------------------------

Chapter 4 - A Date

“We went out on a date”

“Did she ask you out? Or did you suggest that you two should bond more?”

“No, she just said she needed to buy a dress for her parents anniversary and I said I would like to join her”

*****

They were walking side by side along the street, not looking at each other. Yuri looked solemn, as usual, and Jessica looked – fragile. As usual. 

Yuri stole a glance at her as they entered the shop. It had been quite some time since she appreciated Jessica the way she used to, quite some time since they did anything the way they used to. No more legs tangled in bed; no more waking up with smiles; no more whispering of the name she once loved. 

Jessica touched her elbow lightly and she looked down, catching the release of the fingertips for a lingering moment. She turned and walked to an aisle of dresses. That was her goodbye.

Jessica wished she had eyes in the back of her head to wonder if Yuri was looking her way. She let out a sigh and began to look through dresses one by one. She could see the top of Yuri’s head moving down another aisle, just barely. 

She had always been so tall, so tall that she had to tiptoe to whisper in her ears and throw her arms around her neck. So tall that it took high heels to make her look even close to the same height. It had been a while since she remembered just how tall Yuri was.

I wonder how I’d look in this. 

She held up a dress, brought it to her body. Not quite right. She pulled it away and held it up in the air.

I wonder how she’d look in this.

Yuri had never been a picky shopper. Jessica was always the detail-oriented one, spending hours poring over dress after dress. She didn’t like the ruffles, the waves, the lacing; the back was too open, the straps too thick, the bow too girly. 

Good thing I’m not picky. 

Her elbow was still ringing from the goodbye. She searched for the familiar auburn hair moving down the rows. She saw easily over the aisles of dresses and watched as her picky dresser looked through dress after dress. She wished she could see the dresses now.

What color to wear, she wondered. Yuri would look good in this. Yuri looked good in most anything. Nice and long, this dress. Yuri had the tall figure to pull it off and she once enjoyed shopping for Yuri, when she cared. 

She sighed and put the dress back into the rack, picked up a red dress – so simple. She saw the top of Yuri’s head winding down the aisle and looked back to her dress. It was perfect – long enough to cover but short enough to keep things interesting. 

A smile. She hadn’t done than in a while.

Perfect, thought Yuri. Most of the dresses here were pretty much perfect. Long, black, simple, elegant. 

No need to get picky now. She saw the auburn hair coming to the end of an aisle several isles down and slowed down. She wanted to see the dress. Jessica appeared, turned and slowed down a bit. She looked at Yuri, then at the dress. 

The changing room was just midway between them, midway in between two people unwilling to meet halfway. 

Nice dress ,they thought. Yuri reached the changing room and turned, Jessica followed behind. It was Yuri’s turn to wish she had eyes in the back of her head.

She could hear Yuri shuffling next door as she began shuffling her clothes. She remembered the old days when she and Yuri barely even tried the clothes on as they were too occupied in satisfying one another. But that was long ago. 

She snapped out of her thoughts once she heard Yuri emerging from her cubicle, and Jessica realized she still hadn’t put anything on. In a matter of minutes Jessica finally put on the dress but couldn’t zip herself up.

“Yuri.”

“Hm?”

Jessica unlocked the door and opened it a bit and she saw Yuri standing outside wearing the long black gown. 

“What is it?” asked Yuri as she didn’t even look at Jessica’s direction as she was transfixed at the mirror.

“Can you help me zip up, please?” said Jessica softly.

Yuri turned to Jessica and entered slowly. She made sure to close the door on her way inside. Jessica faced the mirror and she lifted up her hair so Yuri could zip up the dress.

She kept her eyes on Yuri’s reflection in the mirror and could see Yuri stare at her bare back. 

Yuri slowly raised her hand and her fingertips clasped the zipper; she held her breath as her finger slid over Jessica’s skin while she raised the zipper. Jessica closed her eyes at the warming sensations she was feeling from Yuri.

Jessica turned around when she had finished and she realized how close they were. It had been a while since they were in such close proximity. 

They couldn’t take their eyes off one another and Yuri took a step close to Jessica. She was being drawn in. Their lips were nearly touching and they could the other’s breaths. Jessica’s eyes were becoming hazy and she so badly wanted to kiss Yuri. 

Yuri placed her hand on Jessica’s waist and pulled her closed until their bottom lips were just inches apart. Yuri licked her bottom lip and she accidently traced Jessica’s lip as well, and Jessica let out a light gasp.

Suddenly they heard a light knock on the door, “Does the dress fit, Ms. Jung?” asked the sales lady.

Yuri immediately backed away and took ragged breath while Jessica face was flushed. 

Before Jessica could react, Yuri stepped out of the cubicles and replied to the woman, “Everything is well. Thank you.”

Jessica held on to her chest as she felt her heart beat rapidly as she watched the closed door in front of her.

*****

“So she didn’t kiss you.”

“No.”

“Did you want her to kiss you?”

“Yes…I wanted her to.”

“Why didn’t you kiss her”

“…I couldn’t.”

“Why couldn’t you?”

“Maybe because I wanted to feel like the old times when she would barge in the dressing room and kiss me,” she smiled sadly.

*****

Once they were done shopping they headed to a small restaurant that they usually went when they were dating long ago. It’s been a while since they have been there. 

They sat opposite one another and Jessica was about to strike up a conversation, but Yuri was too preoccupied by her phone to notice that Jessica was saying anything at all.

“What were you saying?” asked Yuri as she scrolled down through the message she just received.

“Nothing,” replied Jessica softly as she gazed at Yuri, hoping she would look up at her. She got nothing.

They sat in silence until the food came and before Yuri could lift her spoon, her phone rang. Yuri immediately picked up the call while Jessica sat and watched her.

“Hello?” answered Yuri as she kept looking down at the plate. “Hold on I can’t hear you properly,” she stood up and made her way out of the restaurant, leaving Jessica alone.

Jessica looked outside the window and saw Yuri pacing back and forth talking on the phone, and she suddenly didn’t feel hungry. The food that was placed on the table in front of her didn’t look appealing anymore. A year ago this restaurant would be the place where they both would pig out but now it was nothing except a distant memory.

After waiting for nearly half an hour for Yuri, the food was cold. Jessica paid the bill, grabbed the shopping bags and walked out of the restaurant. Yuri had just finished talking on her phone and was bidding farewell to the recipient. She approached Jessica and took hold of the shopping bags. 

“Did you eat?” she asked.

“Yes I did,” Jessica lied. She walked beside Yuri as they made their way back home.

She wanted to ask Yuri if she was hungry but decided against it. If Yuri was hungry she would have ended the call inside instead of talking for half an hour. 

After the long walk home in silence, Jessica went straight for the showers. She needed to unwind. Today was rollercoaster of emotions for her. As soon as she was done she saw Yuri lying at the side of her bed with the pillow already placed between them. 

Jessica walked to her side and slipped under the covers. She stared at the ceiling and suddenly felt emotions rush through her body. 

She sat up and reached across the divide between them; cupped Yuri’s face and placed a long lingering kiss on her cheek. Yuri stiffened at the sudden touch but Jessica didn’t want to let go; she felt so warm and just wanted to be in her arms.

When she broke off the kiss she whispered into Yuri’s ears, “Thank you for today, I really enjoyed it.”

Jessica backed away, went back to her side of the bed, and covered her body with the blanket. She didn’t want to see Yuri’s reaction. It was going to hurt her no matter what.

*****

“What do you want Yuri to do for you?”

“I want her to look at me…just look at me.”

“Why do you want her to look at you?”

“Because when she looks at me I feel completed.”

“And if she doesn’t look at you?”

“I feel…worthless, as if I am not good enough for her.”

-----------------------------

Chapter 6 - Suffocation

“We were preparing for her parents anniversary”

“You’ve both wore the dresses you bought together on your date?”

“Yes”

“How did you feel?”

“She looked so beautiful, I couldn’t look away”

*****

Jessica snapped out of her thoughts as the car stopped and Yuri turned off the engine. She unbuckled the seatbelt and held her purse before she opened the door and emerged from the car. She could hear Yuri opening her side of the door and emerge.

When she closed the door she looked at the other side and saw Yuri holding on to the anniversary present. She walked ahead and waited till Yuri locked the car. 

Once Yuri was ready they both made their way up the steps and in front of the Kwon’s residence. Jessica rang the doorbell and they could hear music and giggles behind the door. 

Suddenly Jessica felt Yuri intertwine their hands together and she stiffened at the sudden contact. The door opened and Mrs. Kwon was standing in front of them with a glass of champagne in one hand and a glowing smile.

“The two lover birds are finally here,” said Mrs. Kwon cheerfully

Yuri let go of Jessica’s hand and approached her mother with a hug. Mrs. Kwon delightfully returned the hug and once she was done with Yuri she approached Jessica and hugged her tightly. Mrs. Kwon then took a step back and admired Jessica for a minute.

“Mom you know I hate it when you stare at my wife like that” teased Yuri

Jessica felt her heart stop. Her wife…It’s been a while since Yuri has addressed her like that. 

“Still possessive over her,” chuckled Mrs. Kwon as she ushered them in the house.

Yuri clasped Jessica’s hand even more tightly as they entered and Jessica could feel goosebumps start to form on her arm. 

It had been too long since they had touched, and yet here Yuri was, holding her and smiling at her like nothing had ever been missing between them.

They went around the full house, greeting people as they went by, Yuri holding on to Jessica closely like she could not bear to let her go.

Every move, every touch seemed exaggerated. And yet, Jessica was torn between hating her and wanting more. The sensation of Yuri’s skin was something long not experienced yet unforgettable for Jessica.

She could not help but to want to cling on to Yuri more tightly. She could not help but to want to push her away and lock herself inside a corner of her mind where no one could touch her. That was what she wanted more than anything.

By the time all the guests had arrived, Jessica was smiling in despair. She did not want to act happy and completely satisfied anymore and it had never been in her nature to lie.

“Hey,” said Yuri, turning to Jessica, “Are you hungry? Want anything to eat?”

They had just greeted yet another old friend, smiling like there was no tomorrow. She was smiling at Jessica.

“No,” said Jessica, “I have no appetite.”

Yuri glanced at her, turned towards her and grabbed both of her hands. She took them into her own.

“Okay, if you do just let me know. I’ll eat whenever you eat.”

Jessica shuddered at the touch. It was like a caged bird tasting free air for the first time in many months. The sudden, inexplicable rush of something completely foreign was enough to make anyone sick. She looked around before leaning in closer to Yuri.

“What are you doing?” asked Jessica in a hushed whisper. She eyed their intertwined hands quickly before looking at Yuri for a response.

“What are you talking about?” asked Yuri, pulling away slightly, “I’m just showing my wife some affection. She was still smiling.

People were watching them now, people standing idly in the halls of the huge house, people who liked seeing what they wanted to see. Jessica frowned.

“Come on,” said Yuri, disregarding Jessica’s expression, “Let’s get some privacy.”

She winked at Jessica with a beaming smile and pulled her along, heading out of the room. Jessica was unnerved, wondering if she would end the façade now, or if something else entirely would happen.

She worried, as she was pulled along helplessly by Yuri, the only one who could make her feel so confused and unsure, what people were thinking. She tried to smile. She wanted to smile. She wanted to believe it herself. 

Curious onlookers and old friends smirked at them as Yuri pulled Jessica towards the staircase. 

They were heading upstairs and though Jessica already feared that she knew exactly what was going to happen, she did not want to jump to conclusions right away.

As she looked back one last time downwards when she was at the top of the staircase, she could have sworn she saw some people pointing.

“Yuri, what are you doing?” asked Jessica frantically as Yuri pulled her into a room. She jerked away from Yuri’s hold as she tried to spin away. Yuri slammed the door shut before she could leave. They were in a spare bedroom.

Jessica spun around, furious. Enough was enough.

“Yuri! What are you doing?” she cried, as Yuri leaned in towards her. 

She placed her hands on either side of Jessica’s waist, pinning her against the door. Yuri’s face was inches from her own. Jessica could almost remember what ecstasy felt like now, if only rage and confusion did not dilute the sensation.

“Yuri!” said Jessica. She had missed this. She had missed it so much.

“Shhh,” said Yuri with a small smile. Jessica wondered if Yuri enjoyed the sight of her misery that much.

Yuri leaned in and kissed her wife just as a tear slid down Jessica’s cheek. 

She had missed it just a little too much.

Several moments and kisses and tears later, Yuri pushed Jessica onto the bed, still torn between misery and ecstasy. 

The first contact they really had in months, and it had to come like this. Yuri seemed to enjoy smiling at Jessica, who had stopped crying by now. Her body was limp and she had no energy to fight any longer.

Yuri’s hand was running up Jessica’s thigh. Jessica stared at Yuri’s face and could remember a time long ago when the same scenario did not feel so out of place. This was not romantic. 

This was not reconciliation. This was not the way she wanted it to be.

But still, a small part of Jessica had hope that it would somehow fix everything. Maybe this was just enough to break the wall that had formed between them.

Yuri straddled Jessica on the bed, hands still roaming. She looked down at Jessica, who had resigned herself, and smiled. She smiled, and killed another shrivel of dignity that Jessica carried in her.

Kwon Yuri, loving wife and silent killer, leaned down to kiss Jessica’s neck. Another tear and Jessica would surely melt. She wanted to escape. She wanted some help now, in any form. It hurt, just a little bit too much for her to bear.

Jessica could feel Yuri’s hands reaching higher and higher and her actions become more rushed, more forced. 

Why did it feel like she didn’t want this, either?

The door jerked open.

“Oh my!” cried a woman in the doorway. Jessica could no longer feel Yuri’s hands and the weight was lifted off her hips.

“Oops,” said Yuri with a smug smile.

“W-We were just looking for the bathroom,” said a second woman, standing behind the first, “S-Sorry. We’ll leave now.”

Yuri stood up just as the women turned and headed back downstairs, as if they were rushing.

Jessica still lay on the bed, eyes closed, trying not to break. She had not even bothered looking at the women’s faces. She did not care.

“Come on,” said Yuri’s voice gently.

Jessica’s eyes opened and she sat up on the bed, body still burning from Yuri’s touch. She would not forget it for a long time.

“Let’s go home,” said Yuri. She had stopped smiling now.

They left in Yuri’s car, after making a painfully happy exit, laughing their way out. The car ride was silent. They avoided eye contact.

*****

That night, after they had both showered, Yuri settled into bed first and fell asleep staring at the bathroom door, where she knew Jessica would come out soon. 

Jessica was afraid of being seen, so she sat on the floor of the other side, crying silently to herself. She was still burning, could still feel the touch. 

The shower could do nothing to wash it away because it was not on her body, but on her mind and soul. The mental aspect of the whole thing would long outlast the physical.

Jessica slid into bed after Yuri had long fallen asleep. She stared at Yuri’s face for awhile. It was cold again. 

But no matter how fake the past few hours had been, the thought of it now could make her smile, just a little bit. She loved her, just a little bit too much.

The moon was shining its light onto Yuri’s face. She looked dangerously untroubled.

“You’re suffocating me,” Jessica whispered.

And she reached out and touched her wife’s cheek softly, just as a tear slid down her own. No sleep for her tonight.

-----------------------------

Chapter 7 - Divorce

It had been two weeks since the incident at her parent’s anniversary party. The words kept ringing in her head and she couldn’t get them out. 

Whenever Jessica slept by her side, whenever Jessica passed her by the incident kept repeating itself in her mind like a projector. 

She hated it.

They stopped having dinner like they used to. The atmosphere between them became cold, so cold that they could not even bear to be at the same table. They both tried to avoid one another. 

Even sleep had become a complicated affair – it was the only time they were in the same room and within reach of each other. There were times at night when Yuri couldn’t sleep and she would just stare at Jessica. 

So close yet so far. It became a habit that every night, when Yuri couldn’t fall asleep, she would cross the borderline they established and gaze at her wife’s face. 

She wondered how Jessica managed to sleep despite their situation, wondered if it was a sign that she had given up. She cried, sometimes, when she thought about how she could no longer reach out to her and stroke her cheek gently. 

So she stared, and stared, and stared.

The more she stared, the more she worried, the longer she stayed up. The cycle could not end for her. Though she had never believed in the concept of counseling, she prayed now that it could help her.

*****

Yuri was in her office reading some files over and over again. 

Normally she would have read something once and then move on, but today her mind was preoccupied. It had been preoccupied for too long now. 

She kept re-reading the same line but still couldn’t understand what it meant. She didn’t want to put an effort into concentrating on anything besides her marriage. 

She was so deep in thought that she didn’t hear the knock on the door; it wasn’t until she heard some heels clicking against the floor that she looked up and saw her assistant, Tiffany, walking towards her. 

“What is it?” asked Yuri as she closed the folder and opened another one, hoping she could get her act together. 

Tiffany didn’t reply and just stood in front of Yuri, staring at her. 

“I hope you’re not here to just stare at me because if you are I’ll have to fire you and hire another assistant.” she said sternly.

“You lost some weight over these past few days. I’ve realized that your mind isn’t with you. You seem to have lost interest in what you’re doing and it worries me,” replied Tiffany honestly.

Yuri tightened her grip on the file as she kept her eyes on Tiffany. 

Was she that obvious? Was her situation with Jessica affecting her that much? Before Yuri could think of a reply, the office phone rang and Tiffany jolted at the sudden noise. 

“I’ll be back,” said Tiffany as she gave Yuri her infamous eye smile and stepped out of the office. 

Yuri let out a weak smile as she watched Tiffany close the door. 

She had finally come to realize that it was guilt eating her up inside. She made Jessica suffer and she couldn’t forgive herself for doing so. 

She had promised to love her and hold her through sickness and in health, and here she was, doing the exact opposite.

She took a deep breath as she looked down at the wedding ring that had been on for over a year now. She raised her hand up and kissed the wedding band lightly, reminiscing the time she and Jessica had spent together.

You’re suffocating me…

She recalled the look in Jessica’s eyes, at the fateful incident 2 weeks ago. Hurt, as if she was pleading Yuri to stop hurting her.

“Yuri.”

Yuri snapped out of her thoughts as she turned around and saw Tiffany a few feet away from her. 

“Yuri, are you okay? You look pale,” said Tiffany. She tried to approach Yuri but Yuri placed her hand on Tiffany’s shoulder, stopping her from coming closer. Her hand was trembling as she held on to the latter’s shoulder and stared at her.

“Tiffany…” said Yuri in a whisper. Tiffany kept her gaze on Yuri intently as she waited for her boss to say something. “I…I need you to get me the best and most exquisite bouquet of flowers you can find,” breathed Yuri.

Tiffany tried to figure out what was going on with Yuri, but she couldn’t; her eyes were filled with empty sorrows. She nodded her head and turned around to walk out of the office, leaving Yuri alone.

Yuri held on to her phone and looked through her contacts until she reached a certain name – Jessica Jung.

It was time to make things right.

*****

Yuri clutched the bouquet tightly as she opened the door of their apartment. A million thoughts roamed through her mind. Was it too late? How would she react? 

What she feared most now was rejection and dejection. She feared that the damage was irreparable and Jessica could not forgive her.

When she entered, the place was quiet, like it usually was. Yuri checked her watch and was sure that Jessica was already home; she had even called her to confirm it. 

She closed the door behind her and walked into the house, dropping her keys on the countertop. 

Suddenly she saw a figure sitting in the dining room. Yuri smiled once she spotted her wife and slowly made her way towards her. 

“Jessica,” called Yuri.

Jessica turned around and saw Yuri. Yuri’s heart stopped at the sight of Jessica with bloodshot eyes. She looked pale and frozen in her seat and Yuri was worried.

“Jessica, what’s wrong?” asked Yuri as she walked closer to Jessica. 

She laid the bouquet of flowers on the table and approached Jessica only to be stopped by Jessica standing up and taking a step back.

“I’m fine,” replied Jessica weakly as she held on to some papers with her dear life.

“You don’t look fine Jessica, are you getting sick? Should I take you to the doctor?” asked Yuri as she took another step towards Jessica.

“Don’t come near me…just please…don’t” said Jessica, as tears started to form in her eyes. 

She promised herself she wouldn’t cry.

Yuri stood frozen in place as she heard those words from Jessica. Was Jessica still hurt over what happened at her parent’s anniversary party? If so, she hadn’t meant to hurt her wife. She was here now to fix everything.

“Jessica listen to me…I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for what I did to you at the party. I never meant to hurt you,” said Yuri honestly. 

She saw Jessica hold the papers against her chest as she lowered her head. When Jessica looked up, Yuri realized the single tear that slid down her wife’s cheek and the look of defeat in her eyes.

“I want a divorce, Yuri.”

-----------------------------

Chapter 8 - She's Not You

Yuri shuddered as she wrapped the bed sheets around her body. The phone had been ringing off the hook ever since news spread that Jessica and her were getting a divorce. 

On the table, a few meters away from her, lay the paper that Jessica had signed. Yuri’s signature was only needed to finalize the divorce. 

She stood up as she held on to the covers tightly and walked towards the table. 

She opened the file and looked at the empty spot where her signature should have been placed. Next to it was Jessica’s signature; she let her fingers linger at the dried ink. 

That was the only thing that Jessica left behind. Her name and memories. She had taken all her belongings and left.

Thoughts of Jessica were haunting Yuri. Taunting her – what she had and what she had lost. The memory of Jessica’s eyes gazing lovingly into hers were still able to make her heart beat fast. 

The touch of their hands, the light pressure of Jessica’s hand squeezing hers – such moments were a gift. Without words, Yuri knew that the simple touch was filled with love.

Yuri didn’t have to be anyone in front of Jessica. She didn’t have to wear a mask. She didn’t have to live up to anyone’s expectation. Yuri could be herself. 

She could laugh, cry, be strong, be vulnerable and Jessica would still be by her side supporting and loving her. 

She recalled the two words that she said at their wedding that bound them together. Those recollections were enough to bring tears in her eyes and shatter her heart all over again. 

She was stupid.

All she had left now were memories that cut through her consciousness like blades; there was no way to stop them. 

I want a divorce, Yuri.

For the first time in a long time there was emotion in her eyes. Pain, loss, love-and sadness, knowing that what they had can never be again. Not after this. 

There were tears in Jessica’s eyes yet she was still so beautiful. Yuri said the three words that Jessica was dying to hear, causing the tears to fall from her eyes; but she was too late. 

The continuous sounds of the doorbell snapped Yuri out of her trance as she debated whether to open it or not. She didn’t want to face anyone anytime soon; she wasn’t ready. 

She staggered her way towards the intercom and pressed a button to open a visual screen. Part of her hoped it would be Jessica coming back to her, but it all crashed down when she saw Tiffany. 

She placed her head against the door and sighed. 

“Yuri, are you in there? I can hear you,” said Tiffany through the door. 

When Yuri looked up at the intercom again she realized Tiffany was holding some files in her hand. She opened the door immediately as thoughts of missing meetings, deadlines and appointments. Before she knew it she was standing in front of Tiffany. 

“Hi,” she said softly.

Yuri didn’t reply instead she let Tiffany in and closed the door behind her.

“What have I missed so far?” she asked as she walked past Tiffany, ignoring her gaze.

“I have everything you need in the files,” said Tiffany as she placed the files on the table before approaching Yuri.

She could see her boss’s pale face and the dark circle beneath her eyes. “How are you feeling?”

Yuri didn’t respond; instead she looked away as Tiffany approached her.

“I know it’s hard but you can’t lock yourself up and assume that everything will fix itself,” said Tiffany as she took a seat next to Yuri. 

In Tiffany’s eyes, Yuri was never weak. She never displayed any emotion or vulnerability the times they’ve worked together. “Yuri I’m here for you.”

Yuri stiffened at the sudden contact of Tiffany’s fingers on her own. She wanted to pull away but she couldn’t she felt frozen. 

Tiffany’s hands weren’t warm and they weren’t soft. They weren’t Jessica’s…their hands didn’t fit together like puzzle pieces. When she turned to her side and gaze at Tiffany, it wasn’t the same face as Jessica’s.

What if Jessica got to gaze in someone else’s eyes other than hers? What if Jessica got to hold a hand that wasn’t hers? What if Jessica was ready to move on and forget her? 

Yuri closed her eyes and took a deep breath as a tear rolled down her cheek. 

She felt Tiffany wipe her tears away and Yuri broke down. She couldn’t hold it in anymore. 

Suddenly she felt a pair of lips brush against her cheek, kissing the tears away. She sat still as Tiffany continued to trace the tears away with kisses and in Yuri’s mind all she could thing about was Jessica. 

When their lips lightly touched, Yuri held her breath as Tiffany went in for the kill.

With her arms wrapped around latter’s neck, Yuri was tightly secured with Tiffany on top of her. Images of Jessica flashed through her mind and she pushed Tiffany away as roughly as she can. 

She stood up in haste and wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

“Get out.”

Her voice dripped with venom and Tiffany could see the coldness through her eyes. She didn’t need to be told twice as she grabbed her purse and dashed out of the door. She knew it was a mistake kissing her boss. 

*****

Yuri lay on the bed as the darkness consumed the room. She wrapped the covers tightly around her body and placed her head on Jessica’s pillow; it still smelled like her. 

The taste of Tiffany still lingered on her lips even though hours passed and Yuri’s brushed, flossed, and mouth washed over twenty times. A part of her felt like she betrayed Jessica. 

The tastes mixed together and Yuri thought she would pass out. It was consuming her.

She knew now how Jessica must have felt when she kissed Minho. This – and a thousand times worse. How could she have done it? She cried, thinking of how hurt Jessica must have been.

Yuri jumped up from the bed and frantically reached over to her bedside stand for her phone. She wanted needed desired to talk to Jessica now. 

It was the only way, she thought, the only way out of her misery and Jessica’s misery. Total honesty. Lies and half-truths had destroyed their relationship. Perhaps a total confession and truth now could do what all else had failed to do.

She scrambled through her contacts and hit Jessica’s number. Ring, ring, ring.

Jessica picked up the phone. She knew already that it would be mistake but she could not resist, was powerless to do anything at all.

“Hello,” she said.

What exactly was Jessica expecting from this?

There was silence and all Jessica could hear was Yuri’s breathing.

“I called because I have to tell you something,” started Yuri. 

Jessica waited. She was scared that if she spoke now, her defenses would crumble; Yuri somehow always touched upon the most vulnerable of her walls. The only thing she could hear was Yuri’s breathing.

“T-Tiffany came over today to deliver some papers and –

Already Jessica’s mind had jumped to the worst possible conclusion. Images formed in her mind and any possibility of speech was thrown out of sight.

“– she kissed me. I pushed her away as fast as I could Jessica. I’m going to fire her once I get back to work. I’ll find another assistant.”

Jessica could hear Yuri rambling on the other end. Why, she thought to herself, why tell me now. She had been waiting for effort for too long from Yuri, and when she did receive it, it was a painful confession.

She knew that on the other end Yuri was crying her heart out. But Jessica had done the same. She had done the same for nearly a year now.

“She’s n-not you,” choked Yuri, “…she couldn’t b-be….”

Jessica heard her continually sob and mutter.

“…N-no one could be you…No one could replace you…”

Yuri’s voice was beginning to get quieter and quieter. She began to wail, quietly, as her voice cracked and she broke down.

But Jessica had already done the same, though Yuri did not know.

“Forgive me Jessica…Please forgive me –”

Perhaps if it was the first time, or the second, or the third fourth fifth sixth, but Jessica had forgiven Yuri. Too many times and this time, she though, was going to be one too many. 

She wanted to be selfish this time around. She could not be the only one forgiving, the only one hurting, the only one faithful. She would be strong.

But even now, images of Tiffany and Yuri together were the only thing she could see. Her walls crumbled again, because that was what Yuri had always managed to do to her. She didn’t want to see it anymore.

Jessica slammed the phone down just as she let out a sob. She would not let Yuri know, this time, how much she affected her.

On the other end, Yuri heard the line go dead, but this time, it felt like the last.

…But Jessica had already felt like Yuri hung up on her long, long ago.

-----------------------------

Chapter 9 - Final Decision

Yuri parked her car at the side of the residence. She took a deep breath while holding on to the documents and stepped out of her car. 

Just a few feet away from her was the Jung residence, where she knew Jessica was. Each step that she took was filled with regret as she was getting closer.

Her biggest mistake was that she was too much of a coward to say something before it was too late. Three simple words that would have been so important to them both, and yet Yuri had been unable to say them.

Just three words.

She pressed her finger on the doorbell, immediately letting go as soon as it made a sound. She adjusted herself as she kept her gaze on the door. 

It had been exactly a month since she last saw Jessica and two weeks since the phone call. The least she could now was present herself in a respectable manner.

She could see the clouds darken and hear sounds of thunder rumbling from the sky. It was going to rain soon. 

The door suddenly unlocked and opened, revealing Mrs. Jung, who greeted Yuri with a small smile.

“It’s nice to see you again,” said Mrs. Jung

Yuri could hear the hint of weariness in the older women’s voice and she smiled back politely. “It’s always a pleasure to see you,” she replied. 

It was always a pleasure to be at the Jung residence but not today, and that feeling left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Mrs. Jung opened the door and allowed her in the house. The familiar surroundings brought sorrow upon her as she realized this might be the last time she could step in this family’s house. 

She clutched the folder tightly as she walked deeper within the house until she saw Mr. Jung emerge from the living room with a stricken expression. 

Yuri swallowed the slump in her throat as she looked down. She couldn’t look at in the eyes of the man who walked his daughter up the altar and trusted her to protect and care for his child. 

“She’s waiting for you.” 

It sounded forceful and Yuri nodded lightly as she took a step in the living room. 

Her eyes came in contact with Jessica’s and she couldn’t look away. It had been exactly a month since Jessica walked out, leaving her with the divorce papers. 

It took her three weeks to recover and another week to prepare herself to confront Jessica.

“You’ve lost weight.”

That was the first thing she realized when she saw how fragile Jessica looked and Yuri couldn’t stop blaming herself. 

The latter replied with a soft smile through defeated eyes and Yuri clutched the folder more tightly. 

They sat at a table, seats opposite one another, and Yuri couldn’t take her eyes off her, while Jessica avoided any eye contact.

“Did you sign the papers?” Jessica asked quietly.

“No, not yet,” replied Yuri.

“Then what are you doing here?”

It felt like a stab in her heart when those words left Jessica’s lips. Her hands trembled as she tried to reach out and touch Jessica’s fingers. 

Jessica immediately withdrew her fingers and clasped her hands together on her lap.

Yuri stared at her in pain as she retreated her fingers and kept them above the folder. They sat for a few minutes in silence and no one dared to say a thing.

“I was so stupid. I should have told you…I should have showed you how much I love you,” Yuri said, breaking the silence.

Tears threaten to fall from her eyes but she had to stay strong and tell Jessica the reasons why, hoping that she would accept her back.

“I thought after marriage I didn’t have to fight for your love or attention, but I was wrong. I thought I had you already and I didn’t have to put any effort into loving you. I know I was mistaken and its true when people say that you won’t realize what you have until it’s gone,” whimpered Yuri.

She wanted Jessica to just look at her. She wanted Jessica to feel her emotion. She wanted Jessica to see how much pain and torture she went through in a month.

“Did you sign the papers?”

Yuri felt a stinging burn in her chest and she rested herself to clutch her chest as it was getting hard for her to breath. Her world was falling apart.

“Do you really want this Jessica?”

When she got no response, Yuri opened the folder and uncapped the pen and signed just below Jessica’s signature. Tears were threatening to drop as her hands trembled to hold the pen. 

Once she was done she closed the folder and pushed it lightly over to Jessica’s side.

“I wish nothing but the best for you Sica.”

Yuri wiped the tear away as she watched Jessica take hold of the folder and stand up. She watched as her the woman, who she used to call her wife, walk away.

She stood up and adjusted herself before leaving the house that she would never return to. She saw Mr. and Mrs. Jung by the stairs and she smiled sadly at them.

“I am sorry if I disappointed you. I am sorry if I hurt your daughter. It was never my intention to do so.”

They didn’t reply as she bowed in forgiveness towards them as she walked to the door.

“There is a storm outside. Drive safely.”

Yuri turned around to the voice of Mr. Jung and smiled one last time before stepping out to the storm. 

The rain mixed with her tears as she walked towards the car. She didn’t care if she was getting soaked. She didn’t care if the rain would probably block the road back home if she didn’t hurry. She didn’t care at all.

She was broken and she had no one to blame except herself.

She entered her car and drove as fast as she could, away from the Jung residence. Once she was far away, she stopped at the side and poured her emotions out. Tears after tears kept falling and she wailed out in pain as she felt her heart dying. 

She took out her phone and looked at Jessica’s number, and composing a text message for her.

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

After she sent the message, she gritted her teeth and deleted Jessica’s number. 

“Goodbye, Sica.” 

Those were her last words as she cried by herself in the car. Thunder was booming above her and rain was splattering against the window. 

This was the end.

-----------------------------

Chapter 10 - In The End

Jessica entered her car and started the engine. The folder was placed on the empty seat beside her and she stared at it realizing what she was about to do. 

After a year of suffering and a month of being alone and away; it has finally ended in a divorce.

Seeing Yuri yesterday and seeing the state of her lover, or former love, was; Jessica wanted to break down and pour everything out. 

But, she trained herself not to break down in front of Yuri anymore. Enough was enough.

Watching Yuri sign the paper, it felt as if every piece of their love was thrown away. She knew it must have been hard for Yuri to sign, she remember when she had to sign. 

It took her a day to open the file and after another day of countless breakdowns she finally signed the paper. 

Part of her didn’t want Yuri to sign the papers and to just take her away, like a scene from a movie. But, this situation was too realistic. 

Another part of her wanted Yuri to be out of her life, to be gone and forgotten. All the memories erased. But, it wasn’t going to be an easy process. 

Jessica finally drove out of her family’s estate as she continued to drive towards the final ending of her love story. When she clutched her hands tightly on the wheel, she clearly saw the visible mark of her wedding band on her finger. 

As an immediate reaction she clutched her chest. She placed her ring as a necklace and hid it under her shirt. 

She wanted to prove to her parents and Yuri that she was over this relationship and she was ready to move on. But she knew deep inside she wasn’t. 

The ring was very important to her and she wasn’t ready to neither throw it away nor hide it in the dark corner of her closet. 

Maybe one day she would, but not anytime soon.

Jessica took a deep breath as she switched on the radio and tried to distract herself from her thoughts. The weather was still dark, as drizzle was lightly pouring as she tried to get in the mood of the song. 

After going through a bunch of channels, Jessica closed the radio in anger as nothing fitted her mood. 

Suddenly a black car at the side of the road caught her eye. She recognized the number plate and immediately pulled over behind it. She stopped and stared at the car from behind, confused at what was Yuri’s car doing here?

Did anything happen? Did the storm affect her car? Is she alright?

Her instincts told her to run and check if Yuri was still in the car and if she was alright. But remembering the situation she was in, she refrained from doing so. 

Besides, she doesn’t want to look like a fool when she found out that the car was empty and no one was in it. 

She slowly placed her hand on the middle of the steering wheel and honked. She waited for a few minutes, and when there was no reaction, she honked again and waited. 

That was then she saw a sudden figure sit up from the back seat. 

Jessica undid her seat belt and got out of the car. She walked towards Yuri’s car and stayed a few feet away from her. 

“Yuri” said Jessica a bit loudly as the wind was blowing strongly against her.

The door opened and the tanned figure emerged. Once their eyes landed on one another, Jessica realized the puffiness that surrounded it and realized that she was crying the whole night.

“What are you doing here? Didn’t you drive back home?” asked Jessica, as she tried to hide the worry in her voice.

“I have no home,” replied Yuri hoarsely. 

Jessica swallowed the lump in her throat as she tried to maintain her eye contact without letting a tear escape.

“You should go home Yuri. It’s dangerous to stay here on your own. You shouldn’t have done that,” said Jessica.

“I couldn’t drive properly last night,” said Yuri softly. 

“You should have called.”

“Would you reply to my call?” 

Jessica stood frozen as she looked away from Yuri. Of course she wouldn’t. Even though she wanted to, she wouldn’t have the guts to do so.

“Would you Sica?”

Jessica closed her eyes as tear escaped her eyes. It’s been so long since Yuri has called her by that name. Her heart is already broken. She doesn’t need Yuri to step on the damage that has already been done.

“Just go back Yuri,” said Jessica.

She turned away and walked back to her car. She felt a sudden grip on her wrist and a sudden force turned her around.

“You’re killing me Jessica! You’re killing me! I know what I did was wrong! Forgive me, please! I can’t live without you! I just can’t!” said Yuri loudly as tears poured down her face.

Jessica gritted her teeth as she tried to turn around and walk away but Yuri wouldn’t allow her.

“I love you.” whimpered Yuri.

The anger and rage that was bottled within Jessica finally burst as she pounded her fist against Yuri’s chest.

“You think I can forgive you so easily?! You think what I’ve been through was easy?! You hurt me Yuri! You broke me, and tore me into pieces and never once have you thought of picking me up until I claimed for divorce!”

Yuri stumbled backwards as Jessica’s hits were getting harder.

“I’ve been through fire and now I’m burned. All the things you did to me were like setting me on fire. If you killed me, it would have been better than to leave me like this!”

“Jessica, don’t say that. I love you. I will fight for you. I will fight for our love” pleaded Yuri.

“Once you are in love, you don’t have to fight for love. You always had my love Yuri, you didn’t need to fight for it. I gave it to you. I gave you my heart, but you didn’t realize that. You never did.”

Jessica was breathing hard as her hands fell down to her side. 

“I love you. I still do and I probably always will. Because you were my first Yuri…Why did you have to hurt me? Why did I have to go through all of this, just so you can realize what you’ve done wrong?”

They stood in silence as it started to rain lightly upon them. Both of them were unaware of their surrounding, not caring if they were getting soaked. 

Their tears mixed well with the rain.

Yuri slowly approached Jessica and lifted her chin. 

“I don’t deserve a second chance. If I want the best for you, I’ll tell you to walk away now and forget me. But I can’t say that. I can’t bear to think of my life without you. I put you through enough and I don’t know if I can ever heal the wounds. I don’t know what is going to happen to us in the future. All I know is that I want to be with you.”

Yuri sucked in her breath as she closed her eyes before pulling Jessica closer.

“I want to be greedy and tell you not to leave. Tell you to love me and forgive me for all the pain I caused. Yes, the divorce was a wake up call for me and I was stupid enough to not notice it before. So, here I am Jessica, begging you to give me one last chance. One last chance to prove myself. Let me save you.” 

Jessica gazed at Yuri’s eyes as more tears started to flow with the rain. She saw Yuri slowly tilting her head and moving towards her. 

Even though she tried to restrain her heart from beating fast, she had no control over it. 

Once Yuri’s lips touched hers, it was once again a burst of emotion. 

Though she tried to fight it, it was inevitable.

-----------------------------

Epilogue

Jessica slowly opened her eyes as she felt someone squirming against her and rest on her arm. As her eyes adjusted to the night, she realized whose black hair was sprawled across her hand. 

She rubbed her eyes and let out a yawn before she looked down at the figure.

“Mama…monsters.”

Her squeaky, scared voice brought a smile upon Jessica’s lips as she cuddled her daughter in her arms. She brushed some strands of hair away from her daughter’s face and kissed her forehead. 

“Krystal, there are no such thing as monsters,” she replied gently as she cooed her daughter.

“No…monster…closet.”

The little child felt terrified and snuggled closer to her mother for safety. Jessica smiled widely as she hugged her daughter and pulled the blanket over them. 

Before she could head back to sleep she felt a sudden tug on her hand. She opened her eyes and saw her daughter stifling laughter as she pointed at the other figure in bed.

Jessica looked at the tanned figure with her tongue sticking out while sleeping and her daughter who was pointing at that fact.

“Umma…tongue.”

The giggles were getting louder as Krystal stopped stifling them. Jessica, too, let out a small giggle. Even though it wasn’t the first time seeing Yuri in such a state, she enjoyed the sight regardless.

Krystal slowly squirmed out of Jessica’s hold and climbed on top of Yuri, and placed a quick peck on Yuri’s lips. 

“Mhmm…Sica.”

Yuri started to pucker her lips in the air and that was when Krystal burst into laughter. Jessica giggled as she placed a hand over her mouth to hold back her laughter.

Realizing this wasn’t the reaction she expected, Yuri opened her eyes only to find the sight of her two-year-old daughter on top of her. 

She looked to her side to find Jessica giggling uncontrollably at her. Yuri grinned mischievously as she took hold of Krystal and pulled her down on the bed tickling her.

Jessica gazed at the sight of the woman she loved with their daughter. Never would she have thought that they could reach this point. 

Everyone deserves a second chance, that’s what Jessica believes. People make mistakes and learn from them and Yuri proved that it was true. 

After their confrontation and the process of burning the divorce papers three years ago, Yuri has changed. For the better.

She stood by Jessica’s side, loved and cared for her, and above all, Krystal entered their lives. 

Giving birth to Krystal made them both realize that being together as a family was far more important than anything else.

“Mama…Mama…Help,” laughed baby Krystal.

Jessica smiled as she continued watching Yuri tickle and cover Krystal with kisses. She knew she made the best choice by having Yuri back in her life.

“She can’t save you, Krystal,” said Yuri in delight.

Jessica grinned and she jumped on top of Yuri and held her hands, preventing the latter from tickling Krystal.

“Krystal, attack her,” said Jessica.

Krystal laughed mischievously as she also pounced on top of Yuri and started punching her.

They played for thirty minutes before they got exhausted and Krystal fell fast asleep. Both parents cuddled her in the middle of the bed as they placed the blanket gently on top of her.

“Even though people say she has some of my features, I think she looks a lot like you,” whispered Yuri.

Jessica didn’t take her eyes off Yuri, who was gazing at their daughter.

“Yuri,” called Jessica softly.

Yuri looked up at her wife and suddenly she felt Jessica’s hand behind her neck pulling her closer until their lips came in contact.

Softly. Lovingly. They breathed their souls and their love into each other in that kiss. That kiss was hard but soft, fiery but cool, a split second but also forever. 

In that one kiss, Jessica then knew what was behind that quirky smile, and it made her love for Yuri grow even more.

An explosion of total peace and serenity overwhelmed them both as they broke the kiss and gazed into one another.

“I love you…” said Yuri wholeheartedly.

“I know you do,” smiled Jessica.

Yuri leaned in once again but was stopped by Jessica’s finger on her lips.

“Not tonight,” said Jessica as she looked at their daughter.

Yuri pouted as she gazed at Jessica.

“Save it for morning,” said Jessica slyly.

Yuri grinned as she watched her wife lay down on bed, next to Krystal, and cuddle their daughter. She also laid down on bed and held on to her wife’s hand as they hugged their daughter and fell asleep.

They are a family and will always be one.

The End

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