and so sometimes,
ㅡ

"seriously?" seungcheol was still coughing from almost choking on his water moments ago because of the "i asked him on date" said by im jaebum.

"dude you're whipped" the boy laughed, putting a thumbs up for his best friend who was grinning. "but jungkook" jaebum's grin fell off his face as a growl came out under his breath.

"that bastard. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with him! he said he doesn't like jimin yet he gets angry and riles up easily whenever someone else is near to him!" the brown haired gritted his teeth, crossing his arms as he dropped back down to his chair.

"i think he likes jimin" jaebum's head snapped up as he narrowed his eyes at his friend.

"thanks, that really helped" seungcheol grunted as jaebum stood up and left. the boy pouted before stuffing his mouth with his burger, grumbling alone.

"i'll pick you up at twelve tomorrow okay?" jaebum gave the orange haired boy a sweet smile as they reached jimin's house, both of them standing awkwardly as jimin stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jacket, nodding shyly before he waves and enter his house, heart doing somersaults he can't really explain why.

jungkook punched the punching bag in his room, kept on punching as droplets of sweats trickled furiously down his body. his mind was swirling, and he kept grunting, brows furrowing as his eyes stared at the center of the punching bag.

a scream fell of his lips before the sand bag popped, sand falling down to his bedroom floor as jungkook snarled, falling on his bed and draped an arm over his face.

"never will"

"fuck off!" the boy screamed, not realising tears of confusion and frustration falling off his face mixed with his sweat.

"why are you doing this to me?"

after a minute or two, he sits back up, feeling lightheaded as he staggeringly stood up, holding the nearest wall for support. he felt feverish and dizzy this morning so decided to skip school, but with all this pent up frustration, he needed to get his mind off the topic.

jungkook groaned as he placed a hand at his temple, walking weakly out of his room to take a glass of water from the kitchen. he was going down the stairs when he missed a step, rolled down to the floor, and hit his head to the wall, making a loud thump being heard before he passed out.

"jungkook, honey are you okay?" jungkook weakly fluttered his eyes open, eyes adjusting to the brightness of the lights. his gaze fell to his mom, who was looking at him worriedly.

"mom, what happened?"

jungkook feels weird.

"you fainted, you hit your head pretty hard against the wall but the doctor said it's going to be okay" his mom smiled assuringly as he looks at her confusedly. just before he could utter out a reply, the same sharp pain stung his head as he grunted, bringing his knees up as he pulled at his hair, making his mom jerk back in surprise.

"jungkook, i love you!"

"kook-ah, you're so cute when you smile"

"caught you!" jimin giggled as jungkook yelped, falling down to the bed as jimin's weight was on top of him.

"hyung, can i tell you something?"

"what is it?"

"i lo-"

"kookie, here, this is for you" jungkook turned, eyes becoming wide but perplexed as he saw the ring in the other's hand.

they were on the phone, jungkook was the one who called since he was bored at the backseat while his father drove.

"so. . .about your confession the other day, i have thought about it hyung"

the younger bit his lips as a warm blush bloomed his face.

"yeah?"

he could hear the anxiousness in the older's voice, a smile forming on his face.

"yeah, and so hyung, i- dad!-"

jungkook's eyes shot open, eyes going as wide as he could as panic, fear, and emotions that he could not comprehend washed over him.

jimin.

"oh my god, jimin hyung" jungkook shakily brought a hand up to his mouth, closing his eyes as a tear fell.

"honey what's wrong? jungkook tell me"

jungkook's mom aprroached him, being eye level to him as jungkook trembled.

"jimin, jimin, jimin" he kept shaking his head as the next moment, he sprung out of his bed, rushing out and ignoring his mom's shouts of his names.

he needs to go to one place.

he needs to beg for forgiveness.

he needs to apologize.

he needs to confess.

jungkook knocks on the door, thumbing his sweater as he bit his bottom lip. it's as if he changed again, well in this case returned back to his usual shy, timid, awkward self.

the door opened, revealing a fluffy orange haired jimin as he rubbed his eyes which widened as he saw the other, wanting to close his door back but the other's force from his arms didn't help.

"hyung, don't! please, i- i need to talk to you"

jungkook damn near whined, pleading tone obviously there as he pouted, giving his best pouty look that he knows jimin will always give in.

and he did.

"what is it?" jimin sighed, leaning against the doorframe.

"i- i remembered. . .everything. everything about us"

jimin let out an inaudible gasp, jungkook watched as something flicker in his eyes as he starts to shake. jungkook reached out to grab his arm but jimin took a step back, shaking his head.

"don't"

"hyung" jungkook closes his eyes, tears brimming as he shakily lets out a breath.

"don't jungkook"

"jimin please i-"

"don't!" jungkook snapped his eyes open, seeing a fuming and now teary jimin who had his hands balled up in a fist as the painful tears started to flow out.

"jimin i'm sorry" jungkook says weakly, stepping forward again and this time, jimin didn't took a step back, but jungkook felt a sting in his cheek as his direction was not on jimin anymore. he placed a hand on his cheek before turning back, seeing jimin breaking down and trembling as he kept shaking his head.

"i hate you, i hate you so much. leave my house now! i don't want to see you!" jimin's voice cracks as he pushes jungkook away and slammed his door shut as he sinks down behind the door, the sound of hard knocking being heard as he sobs into his palms.

"jimin, please" jungkook pleaded weakly, sliding down to his knees as he pressed his forehead to the wooden door, his tears cascading down his cheeks as his lip quivers.

love really does hurt.

✦
i am still broken.