Alexander: *sitting on couch, phone goes off*

Phone: In the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room, in the-

Alexander: *answers* Hello?

Benjamin: What are you three years old? *giggles calling Alex from across the room*

Alexander: *sneers calling Benjamin*

Phone: My milkshake bring brings all the boys yard, and they're li-

James, Thomas, and Diana: *shaking from containing laughter*

~~~~~

Thomas: *sees Diana walk by* God redheads are so fucking sexy.

*Alexander pops around a blind corner*

Alexander: Why thank you, I do like to think I'm handsome.

Thomas: WHAT THE FUCK?!

~~~~~

Benjamin: *weeping* I've lost one of my girlfriends.

Alexander: Oh cheer up. We're here. Who's my special guy?

Benjamin: I am

Alexander: Who's my special guy?

Benjamin: I'm your special-

Hedwig: *busts through door swinging cane* NO! NO! I'M ALEX'S FAVORITE! NO! HE'S MY BIG BROTHER! MINE! *poking Benjamin in the face with his cane* HE TOOK CARE OF ME FIRST!

Benjamin: *sigh* God dammit *still getting poked*

~~~~~

Alexander: I think things will be looking up for me

Lady Isabelle: Oh, really? Why is that?

Alexander: Diana is planning on leaving Murphy

Lady Isabelle: *drops glass goes across ballroom and grabs Diana's shoulder* I heard you're about to be single. Want to have sex upstairs right now?

Diana: *shrugs* Why not? *gets yanked upstairs*

Alexander: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

~~~~~

Marie: C'mon Specky. I wanna buy some candy.

Hedwig: Ha ha! Specky? You call him Specky? Ha ha ha!

Marie: *angrily kicks his cane out from under him* Let's go Specky!

Hedwig: You stupid little runts better run! Your brother's name is stupid too.

Marie: *comes back and kicks him in the face*

~~~~~

Thomas: *holds up map* Hey Alexander if you could live in either England forever or the U.S. forever which one would you pick?

Alexander: *points to U.S.*

Thomas: Really? What's wrong with England?

Alexander: No hummingbirds.