When I opened my eyes, a bolt of light stabbed straight into my brain. I groaned and flung my arm across my face until my eyes had adjusted enough that I could risk another peek.

I was lying on the sofa in the living room, one leg dangling off the side. My head pounded, and my mouth tasted like stale whisky, and I had no idea how I'd ended up here.

The last thing I really remembered was leaping around the room, performing a fucking terrible rendition of Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters" using the whisky bottle as a microphone.

From there, I had only snapshots of memory: Finn performing another song for me while I cheered and pretended to fangirl – only I probably hadn't been pretending, had I? – Finn admitting that his frog on a unicycle tattoo was something he'd seen on an acid trip, though he didn't actually recall getting the tattoo; me falling over, and me hitting Finn with a sofa cushion. I had no idea why I'd done that. I thought I remembered Finn throwing his arms around me, but maybe that was wishful thinking.

Groggily, I lifted my head.

Finn was sprawled on the floor nearby, the empty whisky bottle cradled under his arm. Another bottle lay on its side nearby.

I slowly sat up, my head pitching in protest. Finn didn't stir. I had to smile. When Camden had got this drunk with a rockstar, she'd woken up married to him. I hadn't even managed to get my rockstar naked. Not fully, anyway.

My smile faded.

Finn wasn't my rockstar.

I had to remember that.

A husky groan signalled Finn waking up. He raised his head, his brown/blond hair gorgeously dishevelled, and blinked at me. Even bleary-eyed and hungover, he was still hotter than any man I'd ever seen, and I felt a deep tug somewhere inside.

"Morning," he mumbled.

I waggled my fingers at him.

Finn hauled himself into a sitting position and scrubbed his palms over his face. "Fuck, I need coffee. You want some?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Finn got to his feet and ambled into the kitchen. I twisted around to watch him.

"You showed me your dick last night," I said.

Finn paused partway through scooping coffee grounds into our mugs, and flashed me a devastating smile. "If you're really lucky, you might get to see it again."

"How will I ever contain my excitement?"

My phone rang and I fumbled to retrieve it from where it had fallen down the back of the sofa. Camden's number flashed onscreen. I scrambled off the sofa and headed for the hallway.

"Where are you going?" Finn said.

"Camden's calling and I really don't need her to overhear you talking about your dick," I said.

Mischief sparked in Finn's eyes.

As soon as I was in the hall, I hit answer and smoothed my flyaway hair, even though Camden couldn't see it. "Hi," I said, as brightly as possible.

"Hi." Camden's voice was distinctly flatter, and my stomach dipped. "You have a good night?"

I faltered.

Oh God, had I texted or called her last night? What had I said?

"Um, yeah?" I said.

Silence.

I swallowed.

What the fuck had I said?

I went back to my messages and winced. Apparently I'd sent a few last night. Several were to Lily, though luckily she hadn't read them yet, but mostly I'd texted Camden. The texts had started innocently, with me admitting I was getting drunk or excitedly exclaiming that a song we both loved had just come on, but then – drunken fool that I was – I'd sent her a video of Finn and me leaping around the living room, singing our hearts out. If that wasn't bad enough, I'd followed the video with several texts lamenting over Finn's gorgeousness, his chiselled abs, his sexy-as-hell voice.

Thank fuck I hadn't mentioned the dick tattoo.

"You want to tell me what happened?" Camden said.

"Nothing much," I said, and hoped that that was true.

"Really."

I checked the video clip again, playing it on silent so I didn't have to hear my hideous singing, but there was nothing incriminating in it.

"You like him," Camden said.

I moved further away from the kitchen. "You know I've always had a crush on him –"

"But you weren't living with him before," Camden interrupted. "He was untouchable then, just another hot celebrity. Now he's not."

"I haven't done anything stupid. I don't have a choice but to stay here, and yeah, it's actually been nice getting to know him, but I'm not kidding myself into thinking he's my Prince Charming."

Camden sighed. "I'm just worried about you. I know better than anyone how easy it is to fall for a rockstar, but Finn isn't exactly known for his successful relationships, and he won't give you what you need."

"Where was all this when you decided to stay married to Jude despite not knowing him?" I asked.

Camden was quiet. "Okay. That's fair," she said.

It was my turn to sigh. "I'm not trying to fight here, but if you'd gone public with your wedding to Jude straight away, everyone would have told you the same things that you're telling me. And they'd have been wrong, wouldn't they?"

Another pause.

"Yes," Camden said reluctantly.

"Again, really not trying to start a fight, but you have to trust me to make my own decisions."

"I do. I also think that you're in a really weird situation but this weather won't last forever. Sooner or later, the snow will melt, and then what?"

"Then I'll go back to my regular life," I said, and tried to ignore the sudden sharp twist in my chest.

Would Finn and I even see each other again, or would everything come to an abrupt end the second I walked out that door? My throat felt full of thorns.

"How do you feel about that?" Camden asked.

"It doesn't matter. Sooner or later it's going to happen, and there's nothing I can do about it."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Damn it, I was hoping she wouldn't notice that.

"I'll let you know how I feel about it when the time comes," I said.

"Okay."

I glanced back the way I'd come. I was pretty sure Finn couldn't hear me but I lowered my voice anyway. "What do you know about his past relationships, anyway?"

I was a fan of Finn's music, and his hotness, but I'd never been interested in which girl he was dating or fucking. Yet even someone who found celebrity gossip boring as hell couldn't help absorbing little bits of it here and there. I knew about Penny Lang – or Pinn, as fans had dubbed her relationship with Finn – and I knew some people had found it controversial that he'd dated Lola Perez, a popstar almost twenty years older than him. I also knew he'd had a much publicised and extremely messy relationship with Liz Barker, a tattooist turned frontwoman of some indie metal band whose name I couldn't recall. But I had no idea why any of those relationships had ended. Up until now, I hadn't cared.

"Not much," Camden said. "Why do you want to know?"

"Just curious."

Camden didn't say anything, but I could tell she didn't believe me.

"Dating someone famous really isn't easy, in so many ways," Camden said. "I love Jude with my entire heart, but it's not all plain sailing. We have our problems, same as every relationship, and it takes effort to work through them." Her voice took on a pointed edge. "Although none of that should matter to you since you and Finn aren't doing anything, right?"

"Right," I said, as convincingly as possible.

An incoming call showed on my screen – Lily – and I declined it with a pang of guilt. I trusted Lily with my life, but telling her about Finn was another complication that I didn't need right now. Sooner or later, I'd have to come clean – Camden's attempt to hide her relationship with Jude had blown up in her face – but that was something to tackle another day.

"Have you heard anything else about Izzy?" I asked.

"No, but Jude's not worried. He says that even if Neil had dirt on anyone, he wouldn't share it," Camden said.

I snorted. "I don't think Neil has a moral compass like that."

"Jude doesn't think so either. He said Neil won't give Izzy anything, not because he's trying to do the right thing, but because he's still hoping to weasel his way back into the industry. He's being careful not to burn any more bridges."

"How long will that last though? Reality will kick in for him sooner or later, won't it?" I said.

There was a rustle of clothing that might have been Camden shifting position.

"There's nothing he can spill about me or Jude, so please don't worry," she said.

I bit my lip. "You don't know Izzy or the lengths she'll go to for a story, especially now she knows what she's up against an exclusive interview with Finn Donovan."

Not that I really had the interview, but Izzy didn't know that.

"I think you're giving her too much credit," Camden said.

"I think you're underestimating her. How did she get close to Neil?"

"I don't know."

"If she can get close to him, she can get close to other people."

"Okay, and? What exactly are you scared of?"

"Losing this opportunity, especially to a bitch like Izzy," I said.

"It's not a good idea to let this become a competition," Camden cautioned.

"She started it, not me."

"Is that really the point?"

I shoved my hand through my hair. "No. But I need this internship, Camden. It would be bad enough to lose it to anyone, but losing it to that vindictive cheat?"

Camden made a sympathetic noise. "I get it. Izzy Rollins is your Kelly Thomas."

Kelly Thomas had gone to school with my sister, and for some reason had passionately hated her. That hatred had continued into their adult lives, culminating in Kelly's triumphant theft of Camden's boyfriend. Of course that had backfired on the bitch in the best possible way, as Kelly's actions had led Camden right into Jude's arms, while Kelly was stuck with a complete loser. Ah, sweet karma.

I wasn't expecting any such outcome for Izzy and me because life didn't always work that way, but at the very least I didn't want to lose another opportunity to her, especially when I knew she didn't deserve it.

"Have you sent Clash the interview yet?" Camden asked.

A knot formed in my throat. "Not yet."

"Got to make it perfect, huh?"

"Something like that."

I couldn't tell her the truth. Since marrying Jude, Camden had become a lot stricter about privacy – understandable, considering how much shit the media loved to spread – and there was no way in hell she'd approve of me writing articles about Finn's private life without his knowledge.

I didn't even approve of it.

After I ended the call, I crept back to the kitchen and hovered in the entryway.

Finn had his back to me, humming softly while he made himself another coffee, and my heart gave an unexpected lurch.

What the hell was I supposed to do?

If I didn't give Louise Hoffman something to work with, I could kiss goodbye to my internship and possibly my dream career.

But, watching Finn, I couldn't help wondering if going ahead with my articles would cost me something much more important.