What about the love life? I hear you asking, after all, vampires are known for their powers of seduction and their way with the young ladies, so surely there's got to be some kind of truth to that legend, right? The answer is a little more complicated than that. Don't get me wrong, I've had an awesome streak since becoming a vampire to the point where I can walk into almost any bar in the city and be confident that I'll be leaving with some gorgeous (and preferably redheaded) young lady in a very short time. But that's not love. Hell, it's not even lust when you get down to it, just me enjoying the perks of finally getting over a six-month absence of any sex whatsoever after Jaime had dumped my stupid ass.

I'm sure some of the women I slept with might have wanted to do the whole romance thing, but I never stuck around to find out. I'm a bit of a sucker for true love you see, believe it or not, and I was still in love with my ex-girlfriend.

***

So imagine you're me, and you're finally settling into the groove of your new life as a vampire. It's been two months since you first got turned and you've been through quite a few memorable (not in a good way) experiences that you have no interest in repeating, but if you were a better person, would have been some defining moment in your life. Instead, you're stuck being me, the guy who takes valuable life lessons as an excuse to try the same thing again but only harder, convinced this time it will be different.

That idiot up there, the one I just described? That's the same idiot who got in line at the supermarket behind a woman who looked remarkably exactly like how his ex-girlfriend Jaime used to look. She even had the same nice ass, the same tattoos on her arm and shoulder and yes: the same pissed off expression that became the default the longer we were together and the more I insisted on fucking up her life.

Oh holy shitballs: it actually was Jaime.

I should have known that mane of curly hair couldn't ever belong to anyone else. The beautifully striking face that was made more striking by the intense light brown eyes under those bushy eyebrows that were so naturally arched. When she smiled, those eyes shone with possibility and friendliness, but they weren't smiling at me now, reflecting only dull, flat anger.

"Jaime..." I said, and was I more than just a little happy to see her? You bet your ass I was.

You don't see the love of your life and feel nothing, even if she had decided that there was absolutely no fucking way that there was going to be a "we" anymore. Not even if the last time you had been face-to-face she had given you reason enough to hate her and for a while you had, but she was your true love so of course that couldn't last forever.

See? Told you I was a sucker for true love.

Of course, the memory of the restraining order she had filed against me should have wiped the smile off my face, but to be fair, this was the supermarket in my neighbourhood. The bus dropped me right in front, and I only had to walk four blocks to my shitty basement apartment, so I counted this supermarket as being mine and not off limits. Jaime lived on the other side of town, so what the hell?

Restraining order and all, I should not have been surprised when Jaime wasn't that happy to see me.

"What the fuck Bob? Are you stalking me again?"

 *************************************************

AUTHOR'S NOTE
Please VOTE and leave a comment if you liked or even hated what you read.  Either way, I wanna hear about it.  Comment!

Read my other work where I tackle vampires in the real world 6 REASONS VAMPIRES OF LEGEND WOULD SUCK https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/50550661-6-reasons-why-vampires-of-legend-would-suck

You can follow Bob's Twitter @bob_the_vampire for more zany happenings (no spoilers) or join the Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/BobTheVampire.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Who would you call if you got turned into a vampire?  Let me know in the comments below.