Basorexia- strong craving or hunger for kissing. ( my boyfriend told me about this the other day and I was just like alright nice information and now get me my food 😊. I know I'm kinda mean 😂😂)

“Is everything okay?” Sam asked me with this look on his face saying 'he's being weird again'. I just sighed and nodded.

For past few days I wanted, no, I needed to kiss him. I don't know where that came from, but it was really overwhelming feeling.

However, I stopped myself. Why? Oh, that's because me and Sam are best friends and I don't want to ruin it. I know he's not into guys, and even if he was, he wouldn't like me in that way anyway. I mean, I'm nothing special. (I know that's so cliché but just go with it)

“Lets just watch that film, yeah?” I proposed, grabbing a TV remote. We were planing this 'movie night' for a while now, but at this moment I started to feel like it was a bad idea.

All I could think about was those full, pink, soft lips. I'd kiss them for the rest of my life if he'd just let me. And, sadly, it was also what I was staring at for the past few days. I just can't help myself!

Sam noticed that, yesterday I think, because since then he started giving me those suspicious looks. I try to control my craving, but it's getting harder to resist.

I was hoping it will go away after a while, but it's just getting stronger, and I'm scared that I'm going to kiss him, or just stop seeing him, so I wouldn't kiss him. Either way, I'd lose him, and that really makes me feel awful.

“Yeah, sure” The older had replied to my earlier question. Yeah, he was older. One year older. But that never really mattered. We were best friends since we met each other in band camp. Now I was 18 and he was 19 and we were still very close “So, what film are we going to watch first?” Sam asked a little more relaxed now.

I needed a while to recall what films I prepared. And I swear to you, at that moment I just forgot them all. I remembered they were horror films, we wanted to be scared that night. And sleep together.

Oh God! I just realized we were suppose to sleep together. Normally it wasn't a big deal, we did that a lot, but this night was different. What if I kiss him in my sleep? What if he wakes up and say that I'm weird, then just leave? What if he'll hate me forever?

“Colby?” I heard his soft voice and looked at him “Are you okay? You were staring at the floor with so much fear in your eyes...” He mumbled, watching me carefully. I took a deep breath. I can do it. I mean, it's not a big deal. I just want to kiss my best friends, I'm sure a lot of guys feel that way at least once in their live. Maybe Sam feels that way....?

No, he doesn't! Stop it! Focus on the films.

“It's nothing, I'm fine” I replied and bit my lower lip “It” I exclaimed suddenly and Sam looked at me questioningly “The first film we're going to watch. It's called 'It' ” I explained and he just nodded.

I just pressed 'Play', because I put the DVD in a player earlier today. I sighed as the film started. Oh no. Why? What have I ever done to you? I hate you so much. Ugh.

Yeah, these were my thoughts about the film. And you wanna know why? Because one of the first scenes was a couple making out in the woods. (It's probably not but I couldn't think of a movie where it actually is like that)

I glanced at Sam and he was watching the film, licking his lips. Oh yeah, little fucker. Because the film wasn't enough to tease me.

“I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back” I announced, but before he was able to say anything I already got up and left the living room. I walked to the bathroom and turned on the water, washing my face and looking at myself in a mirror “You can do this. I know you can. It's just stupid craving, nothing important. It doesn't matter. Just try not to think about it” I said to myself, then dried my face with a towel.

I stayed in the bathroom for a minute longer, just taking deep breaths and trying to calm down. I finally got out and walked back to the living room.

“Colbs, you missed the important part of film” Sam stated, looking up at me. I smiled softly, sitting next to him and taking a bowl of popcorn.

“Don't worry, I've already seen the first ten minutes, so I know what's going on” I simply said, placing the bowl between us and eating some popcorn. I tried to look at the screen as much as possible, but there were moments when I just couldn't help myself and I was glancing at Sam.

Sometimes I caught him looking at me, but then we both quickly looked away. I don't know about him, but I was blushing.

Okay, the film ended. Somehow I managed to watch it without throwing myself into Sam's  arms and kissing the hell out of him. Maybe it's not going to be as bad as I thought?

“I'll go make some more popcorn, you can choose the next film” I proposed and Sam just nodded, walking to the shelf where my DVD's were. I walked to the kitchen and made a microwave popcorn, then poured it from a paper bag into the bowl. I also took two glasses and a bottle of Pepsi.

I don't know how I managed to carry it all to the living room, but I was always quite handy, so I didn't have any problem with that.

“What are we watching?” I asked, placing all the stuff I brought on a coffee table.

“Butterfly effect” Sam answered taking a handful of popcorn and eating it slowly. I looked at him with a soft frown.

“But, that's not a horror film” I stated pouring the Pepsi into the glasses and watching Sam a little surprised that he had chose that film.

“Yeah, I know. But I like it and I haven't seen it in a while” The boy replied and I just sighed. Well, I liked that film too, so I didn't have any problem with watching it. I just grabbed the TV remote and pressed 'Play'.

The first twenty minutes of film were okay. We were watching it in silence, the only sounds were the ones from TV and us chewing the popcorn. But suddenly when I was reaching for the popcorn, I felt Sam's hand touching mine, and I quickly pulled away my hand.

“Okay, what's your problem?” Sam asked, looking at me and raising his eyebrows. I didn't want to tell him the truth.

“I don't know what you are talking about” I simply said, obviously lying. And I knew he knew that I was lying, we've known each other all our lives.

“Colbs...” Sam started with his soft voice. He always did that when he wanted something. He was acting so sweet and innocent and I was stupid enough to fall for it every time “You are staring at me with this weird look like you want to eat me or something. You are blushing when I look at you. You don't let me touch you. Something is wrong, I can see it, please tell me what it is”

I took a deep breath, deciding that I should just tell him. I mean, what's the worst thing he'd do. Get mad maybe. But he can't hate me forever just because I want to kiss him... right?

“But before I tell you, you have to promise, you won't get mad” I said, looking at him a little unsure , biting my lower lip.

“I promise” Sam replied, taking my hands, probably to comfort me. But right now, this wasn't comforting, it was making me even more frustrated than before.

“For a past few days... I kind of... I just... I don't know what happened, but I just...” I didn't know how to say it, but Sam was patient with me. He just softly squeezed my hands to make me feel better “For a past few days I really, really wanted to kiss you” I finally said, lowering my head, so I wouldn't have to look at him. I was scared of he's reaction.

There were few moments of silence. Well, these were probably few seconds, but to me it seemed like forever, so lets just say few moments. I was chewing on my lower lip, waiting for him to say something mean. But what he did was not something I expected.

He grabbed my chin and tilted my head up, making me look into those beautiful, blue eyes “Do it” He whispered, but it sounded like a command.

“W-What?” I stuttered out, frowning softly. Did he just told me to kiss him?!

“I know how it feels. You have no idea how many times I told you that I was busy, just because I wanted to kiss you and I decided to stay away from you, so I wouldn't do it” Sam whispered and I noticed he was slowly leaning in as he spoke “I just don't want you to feel the way I did” He added.

I was a little bit nervous. I've never kissed a boy before. How it's going to feel? The same as kissing a girl? Different? Better? I decided to just stop thinking and go for it. I closed my eyes and leaned in too.

I thought it was going to be soft kiss. A little peck on the lips or something like this. But no, it wasn't. As soon as our lips touched, Sam kissed me passionately. I was surprised by it, but I kissed him back, with just as much passion.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as his arms held my waist tightly. Well, one of them. The other one was playing with my hair. He ran his tongue over my lips asking for invitation and I opened my mouth to let him in. For a minute our tongues were wrestling for domination, but I finally gave up letting his tongue explore my mouth.

He let out a little moan and I have to admit that this turned me on a little bit. He laid down, pulling me on top of himself and spreading his legs to make a comfortable room for me. It felt nice. Different than doing it with a girl, but nice. Maybe even better than doing it with a girl...?

Sam moaned again and that was driving me crazy. Our kiss became a little bit more rough. Our tongues were fighting and a moment later caressing each other, we were pulling on each other's hair, sliding our hands under each other's shirts.

Sam once moved his hands on my bum and squeezed it. I don't know if that makes me gay or what, but I really liked it. On the other hand, I was just making out with my guy best friend, so I guess I had to be at least bisexual.

After a while Sam finally pulled back. He probably had to take a breath. And I understood him, after our lips parted I took a deep breath. While kissing Sammy I wasn't really thinking about such a meaningless thing that is air, but now I realized how much I needed it.

“Wanna go to the bedroom?” Sam asked after a moment of just staring at each other and panting. Was he saying what I though he was saying?

“You wanna have sex?” I asked to make sure that we were thinking about the same thing. I was a little confused when he started laughing, but then he gave me one of the most beautiful smiles.

“No, I'm just tired. I had a bad day. I want to go to sleep” The older lad replied and bit his lower lip. I sighed and nodded. I was a little... disappointed? I mean, I wanted to have sex with him, maybe not now, but someday. Although it looked like he didn't want to “We can have sex tomorrow morning” He added, and for a moment I was sure he was reading my mind.

This time I laughed a little “Or we can just do it when it feels right” I proposed and he nodded, looking up at me with those amazing blue eyes, that now were shining.

“Yeah, that's a great idea” He replied and I got up off the couch, helping him get up too. I turned off TV and walked with Sam to my bedroom. We took off each other's clothes, kissing each other from time to time and giggling. He laid down on my bed and I did too, spooning with him. Even though I was younger I was a bit taller, so I had to be the 'big spoon'. Not that I mind it.

“Goodnight Sunshine” I whispered, and without even looking at him, I knew he rolled his eyes.

“Goodnight Colbs” He whispered back. He'd fallen asleep quickly, but I couldn't sleep. There were too many thoughts in my head.

Were we together now?
Are we going to kiss more often?
Was I attracted to guys?
Or maybe it was just Sam?
Was Sam attracted to guys?
Are we going to be 'friends with benefits' kind of thing?
What if it won't work?
Was I falling for Sam?
Was I in love with Sam?
Did he feel the same way?
Or maybe it was just one-night-thing and we'll never talk about it again?

There were so many questions in my head, but in the morning they were all meaningless, because the thing that woke me up, was a soft kiss pressed to my lips. And at this moment I didn't care what was going to happen, I was just happy to have Sam next to me.