"You look older," Sam says and Colby crosses his arms around himself.

"Well, I am, Sam. I'm a year older, that's how linear time works."

"Still a sarcastic little shit, I see."

"Always." Colby cracks a smile because he can't help it and things feel a bit crap, but Sam's here now and things could be worse. "Do mermaids have alcohol?" He's off again with ridiculous questions, some of which Colby doesn't even really know the answer to. Sam's nineteen now and he's definitely getting broader, there's hair on his chest and muscles in his arms. Colby's not staring. Not that much anyway.

"Do you have a girlfriend yet?" Colby asks.

"Nope." Sam shakes his head and he doesn't look at Colby.

"Boyfriend?"

Sam smiles and shakes his head again. "Nope, I haven't got any friend, I don't think I want one either."

"I have a boyfriend."

Sam's head snaps up and he purses his lips, but then just flicks his hair from his face. "Oh. Cool."

"He's a twat. He's just - he's an absolute fucking bastard, Sam, and he makes me so unhappy." Colby shrugs.

"Why are you going out with him then?"

"Because he makes me feel safe, and - I wouldn't have anyone without him, so like, in the long run, it's worth it. I think."

Colby pulls himself up onto the rocks and starts searching through his jeans pockets for the cigarette he stole from his Mum's purse and he tries to ignore the way Sam's watching him.

"That's not good enough, you deserve the fucking world," Sam says quietly, and Colby feels like he can't breathe for a second. He looks down at Sam and Sam looks up at the sky. His lips are still pursed and his nose wrinkled like he's just seen something disgusting.

"Excuse me?" Colby whispers.

"Come back in the water? Don't be boring," Sam says. He looks at Colby and Colby can tell he isn't going to repeat himself. The moment is gone and Colby forgets that he needs a smoke and just slides back into the water.

"I missed you," Colby says.

"I know. I missed you too."

Colby reaches out to take Sam's hand in his and Sam tightens his grip, holding on to him.

Colby thinks there's the type of love that makes you feel safe, and then there's the kind of love that makes you feel alive. It makes you feel like you're fucking flying and that nothing can bring you down, and everything looks so beautiful from up there. And Colby would rather feel alive than safe.

Colby gets caught with his hand in his Mum's handbag, trying to find cigarettes, and she tries to ban him from going out to the rocks to see Sam, but that's laughable and Colby has to force himself not to roll his eyes while she shouts. Stephen gets his cigarettes at school, Stephen isn't around in the summer and how else is he going to get them? His Mum can hardly tell him to stop smoking when she's on a pack a day.

He sneaks out when everyone's asleep, which is near impossible when the whole hut is one fucking room. He glances up when he hears Adam moving in his bed. Colby holds his finger to his lips and looks at his brother in a pleading way, and Adam just watches silently as Colby leaves and starts running down the beach.

"Sam," he calls out. He looks out over the horizon and he can feel his stomach sinking because Sam might have turned up earlier today and thought Colby didn't want to see him. There's no movement and tears are blurring Colby's vision. He doesn't know why he wants to cry, there's nothing to cry over. It just feels like he's suffocating.

"Sam, please. Fucking hell, come on," he whispers. It's silent and then Colby hears a splash and his head snaps up as Sam comes up to the surface.

"What's wrong?" Sam asks. Colby isn't really thinking about anything, as usual, when he pulls his t-shirt over his head and starts unbuckling his jeans, kicking off his shoes and then making his way towards Sam when he's in just his boxers.

"Colby?" Sam asks. Colby just walks straight into the water until he's opposite Sam and they stand for a moment, just breathing together. Sam's lips are parted and then Colby moves and he crashes into him, his arms moving around Sam's neck as he licks past Sam's lips and he can feel Sam's hands in his hair, tugging him closer. Colby can feel heat everywhere they touch. He feels like he's fucking drowning. He can't breathe, it's like he's swallowed too much water, and when he pulls away Sam reaches to run his thumb under Colby's eye and catch a tear.

"I'm sorry," Colby whispers.

Sam doesn't say anything for what feels like a real time, and then he moves forward to kiss Colby again and Colby knows this is how it's meant to feel, it's meant to make the hair on the back of his neck stand up and damn it, Sam's a good kisser. He knows exactly what he's doing when he licks over Colby's bottom lip and Colby feels his hands tightening in his hair, their chests pressed flush to each other.

Colby opens his mouth as he pulls away but then Sam clamps his hand over Colby's lips. "Don't say it, God Colby, don't fucking say it, please."

He takes his hand away and Colby just stares at him, watching Sam blink, his eyes almost entirely black.

"Shit," Colby whispers.

"You've gotta go," Sam says. "Just like - just leave, Colby."

Colby pulls himself up onto the rocks and he can feel his heart in his throat. He's shivering now and he isn't sure if he's cold or scared.

"I don't want to just leave," he whispers.

"I don't care what you won't - get the hell away from me."Colby can't take his eyes off of Sam as he grabs his clothes and Sam brings his hand up to cover his mouth like he's hiding his teeth. Then Sam dives under the water and Colby lets out the breath he was holding. His lips still feel numb and he doesn't move for a while, standing there on the rocks in just his boxers, shivering, but then he starts putting his clothes back on and walks back to the hut.

Sam isn't by the rocks the next day or the next, and by the third day, Colby's really panicking. He can hardly breathe, and then he's just angry. He stands on the rocks and he screams Sam's name until his voice is cracking, and he can't understand what he did wrong.

He sits down and all he can hear is his Mum telling him he has an imaginary friend and Jack telling him he has an imaginary boyfriend, and he hits his fist against the rock until his knuckles are bleeding.

"Don't cry, don't fucking cry," he mutters to himself.

He pulls his t-shirt over his head and looks down at the water, shaking a bit because it's so dark and the waves are crashing. If he puts himself in danger, Sam will keep him safe. Sometimes Colby really needs to think things through better. He holds his arms above his head and dives into the water, swimming right under the surface and holding his breath.

He keeps swimming, going deeper and it doesn't take long before he starts feeling light-headed. His fingers hit the sand and he can't hear anything apart from the sound of his heart speeding up.

Then there are fingers gripping hold of him and he feels himself being lifted back to the surface of the water. He breathes in and splutters, choking, as Sam shakes him. "What the hell are you doing?" Sam yells. "Are you fucking crazy?"

"Where have you been?" Colby asks. He gasps when he feels Sam's hand slap against his cheek and for a second he's dazed, before lifting his eyes to look at Sam who looks furious. It's not an expression Colby has ever seen on Sam's face, it's a lot worse than when he asked to introduce Sam to his parents. Then Sam opens his mouth then, his eyes going wide.

"I'm so sorry, I just - don't do that. You scared me," he says.

"I missed you, you can't just leave and not say goodbye. You can't just do that," Colby says. He lifts his hand to his cheek, still trying to recover from the shock.

"I'm sorry," Sam says again.

"Where have you been?" Colby repeats.

"Colby, I can't do this - you know that I made it really clear that we couldn't fall in love. I will kill you, do you not get that?"

"I don't think my life is worth living without you."

Sam looks like he might slap Colby again, his fingers on Colby's waist dig in a little. "Don't you dare say that you're amazing. You're going to do really amazing things, you are so much more than just my best friend."

"But - "

"But nothing. Don't but me." Sam smiles and when he lifts his hand to press his thumb to the dimple in Colby's cheek, Colby feels his mouth going dry and tears burn in his eyes because this is them saying goodbye and he can't deal with that.

"You'll always be my best friend," Sam whispers.

Colby nods. "You'll always be mine too."

He holds his breath, biting into his lip as Sam moves back, dropping his hands. Sam opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but then he thinks better of it and just smiles sadly before he dives under the surface and Colby squeezes his eyes shut, letting out a shuddering breath. When he opens his eyes, he sees Sam's tail come up out of the water, and then he's gone.