The pull of reality beckons me as someone calls my name, but I refuse to give in. Instead, I snuggle in deeper while a pair of powerful arms lifts me from the sofa to carry me into the bedroom.

I can feel the softness of the bed beneath me as I am lowered upon the pillow top mattress. A smile spreads across my lips. I wind my arms around his neck and my smile grows as I hear his deep, throaty chuckle. 

"You need to let go, Cat."

I shake my head no. Alex is here now, and I don't want to let him go. My dream is so vivid I swear the smell of the soap he uses is filling my nostrils as I pull him closer. I want him, and as this is my dream, I know he wants me too. He's brought me here to make love to me, and so I pull him in for a kiss.

My lips slowly caress his, and I hear his sharp intake of breath right before his lips glide effortlessly over mine. I sigh and shudder in utter contentment. His fingers gently caress my face, but all too soon he pulls my arms away from around his neck.

I'm lost without his touch. "Don't go!" 

I want him to stay here - here where I am safe. Here where I am wanted, because I want him, oh so much.

"Cat... I," his voice sounds shaky, and my eyes drift slowly open. 

"Hey." Alex is sitting on the edge of the bed. He caresses the side of my cheek. "It's okay, Cat, just get some sleep."

My eyes feel so heavy, but I don't want this dream to end. "Stay," I hear myself say.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he tells me.

"Please."

I see it in his eyes, the desire to give in, and he does. "Only until you fall asleep, okay?"

I nod my head in agreement. I'd agree to anything so long as it means him staying here with me.

He goes to the other side of the bed and climbs in behind me. His arm drapes over me, and I can feel the warmth of his body next to mine. I wiggle a bit to get even closer, but stop when his arm tightens around me. 

"Not a good idea, Cat. I'll be right here until you fall asleep. Just please try to stay still."

He wants me. I smile secretly to myself, in this wonderful dream within a dream. I roll over in his arms and burrow my face into his neck, my head just under his chin. His arms cradled me. He feels so warm and comforting that I want to do so much more, but I quickly lose myself to sleep.

***

My phone is ringing, and I reach out to silence it. Whoever it is will have to wait until I'm fully awake. I stretch and an image springs to mind, an image so vivid, I immediately reach beside me and sigh in a moment of relief when I find the bed is empty.

I have got to get a grip. I can't keep letting my imagination toy with the idea of Alex being anything more than a friend. My fingers touch my lips as I recall how his lips felt on mine. His lips felt so real, so soft, so inviting. 

No, Cat! You're just desperate to cling to his kindness because of everything you're going through, but don't make that mistake. It's not reality.

I know that's the truth, but I still can't shake the feeling. In the shower, I let the warm spray wash over me. I'm still focused on Alex. I am so drawn to him and it makes no sense. Maybe it's a Florence Nightingale thing. He's stepped up and rescued me when I needed it most, so my brain just wants to interpret that to mean something more. Maybe I'm enamored because he's my hero.

I am no closer to a conclusion when I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around myself. I walk back into the bedroom and lose the towel in order to get dressed. No sooner so I let go than someone opens the door. I scramble for the material, but it slips out of my grasp and falls to the floor. I make a quick grab for a blanket at the end of the bed.

"Oh, God! Cat, I'm so sorry." Alex proclaims, covering his eyes. "I just got up and didn't realize you were... Well, that... I would see... not that I saw... I thought you were still asleep," he fumbles rather lamely.

I don't know whether to be furious or hysterical, but either way, I choose to put him out of his misery. "I'm covered, Alex."

He lowers his hand and I'm standing there, still basically naked but with a blanket wrapped around me. "Did you want something?"

He just stands there for a second or two, staring at me before he comes back to life.

"Uh, want something?" He's bright red, and he's not doing much better than me in the clothing department as he's standing there only wearing the boxers he sleeps in.

Once again, he has that entire body blush going on. His eyes flick briefly over the length of me and I feel my own cheeks flush. "Sorry. I uh... I just need to use the bathroom. So..." He points in the direction of the bathroom like I may be unfamiliar with where it's located.

"Ookay, well, don't let me stop you. I'd kind of like to get some clothes on. If you don't mind?"

At the reminder that I'm naked, his body turns a deeper shade of pink. I so wish to giggle right now, but I know that would be completely inappropriate.

"Yeah. Yes... of course. I'll just ..." And he nearly sprints to the bathroom and shuts the door.

I quickly get dressed and am in the kitchen when he joins me. He's also dress now. 

"Cat, I just want to apologize for that... whatever that was back there and well for everything else."

"It's okay, Alex," I say, while starting breakfast.

"No, it's really not. I should have knocked."

"Well... yeah, that would have been helpful, but it's not like you saw anything so..."

He blushes again and sticks his hands in his back pockets, rocking on his heels. "Yeah, right? Um... are we okay, then?" He pulls out a hand and waves it between us.

"Sure." I crack an egg. "Why wouldn't we be?"

He gives me this strange expression but then shrugs. "Alright, then. What's for breakfast?"

"I thought I'd switch things up and make some French toast. William is coming over. He thinks it may be a good idea for my peace of mind to get some books about pregnancy. You have any interest in going with us to the bookstore?"

"Sure." Alex agrees, taking a seat at the counter. "It's my day off so, I'm all yours."

It is an innocent enough statement. I know he doesn't mean it in that way, but when he says it, the feeling of him cuddling with me in bed flashes through my mind and I crack another egg but totally miss the bowl.

"Oh, shoot!" I scramble for a towel to clean up the icky mess, grumbling to myself as I do so.

"Cat, you certain you're okay?"

He's pressing himself up on the counter to lean over to look at me while I clean up the mess on the floor. He is wearing a slim fit T, and the position gives him nice definition to his chest and arms. I realize I'm staring and I'm immediately flustered. I stand up quickly and whack my head on the drawer I had left open when I pulled out the towel.

A profusion of swear words tumbled out of my mouth.

"Language, Ms. Fischer," Alex teases. This causes me to glare at him and him to chuckle at me. He comes over and I'm still holding my head. It really hurts.

"Let me see."

"I'm fine," I say, a little more aggressively than I intend.

Alex just raises his eyebrows like he will brook no argument. So, I throw the dirty towel in the sink to rinse later and turn to look at him. He's standing so close and smells so good. It's not a musky scent, just a clean scent that makes me want to sigh.

He tilts my head down and is running his fingers over my scalp, searching for a bump. When he finds it, I suck in my breath through my teeth.

"Sorry. You've got yourself a nasty bump, but no cuts. You want some ice for that?"

I am about to tell him he doesn't have any ice when the doorbell rings.

"That's probably William." Alex away to get the door.

He leaves me standing there. I pick up the bowl full of eggs and other ingredients, intending to whip them when my brain starts rapidly firing. No ice, my face, frozen vegetables, William, falling asleep, falling asleep on the couch... I wasn't on the couch when I woke up. I was in bed. The bed... how did I get in bed... "OH MY GOD!"

I drop the bowl and the contents splash everywhere.

"Cat!" both men say in unison, coming to my aid. "Are you okay?" William asks, his face full of concern.

"I don't think you should make breakfast this morning," Alex says, rinsing out the towel and cleaning up my mess. "Let's go out. My treat," he offers.

"Cat, your clothes!" William points at my jeans and socks. I look down in a daze and see I've splattered myself with the batter I was preparing for the French toast. He leads me over to the bedroom. "Why don't you get cleaned up? We'll take care of this mess and then go out to breakfast."

"Uh, yeah, okay." The moment I close the bedroom door, I pace the room, whispering to myself, "Oh my God! Oh My God! Oh MY GOD! Was that dream not really a dream? Did I sleep with Alex last night?! Did I ... did I kiss him!?"

I change, but then I sit on the edge of the bed, trying to process what may have happened. He said he just woke up. Which means he slept on the sofa bed. But in my dream he told me he'd only stay until I fell asleep. Did I really beg him to stay with me last night?

I am mortified and don't have a clue how I can walk out that door right now and face him. What must he think of me? What was I thinking? He's gay. He's in love with William. I have no place in his life, in his bed. I definitely shouldn't be kissing him.

That kiss...my fingers touch my lips. Did it really happen, or was that part of the original dream because he most definitely kissed me back? That I remember because it felt SO good. Ugh... My aching head drops into my hands and I flop back on the bed. You've really done it this time, Cat.

There's a knock on the door. "Cat? It's William, Sweetie. You almost ready?"

"Yeah," I holler back. "I'll be out in a second."

"Okay." I hear him move away from the door.

Okay, Cat... let's look at this logically. Either the kiss happened, and he's chosen not to bring it up, or it never happened and there's no reason to bring it up. If I say nothing, then he won't say anything and maybe we can forget the whole thing. I try to reason. 

"Forget that kiss? His body up against yours? His arms wrapped around you, yeah right?" my brain taunted. "You thought you had it bad before..." — Shut it, brain!

I take a few deep breaths, put on my best game face, and open the door. Both of them look at me. "Ready to go?" I ask, looking at William because I still can't quite bring myself to look Alex in the eye.

"All set, Baby Girl."

"Okay. Then let's get going." 

William walks over to the door and opens it up. Alex grabs my coat and holds it out for me. I give him a smile, but I know it's weak.

"Thank you. Sorry about breakfast." Alex helps me put on my coat.

"You know I don't care about that, Cat. Are you okay?" He sounds genuinely concerned.

Thankfully, my back is to him, so lying to him boldly is no problem. "Never better! Let's have a good day out, okay?"

"Sure, Cat. Whatever you say."