I was about to share with you some negative stuff that you might cringe as if they're cootie but now you're safe, because I have deleted it. Doesn't mean I'd replace it with more positive stuff, but I will retell you everything in a neutral and logical perspective, and this is when I luckily found back the balance and right to be myself, thanks to my old friend (I'd not reveal his name, you just have to know he's the nicest and he saved my day!)

A girl has come up to be friend with me and ask for my help with her English, guess what, I was kind of shy at first but then just get excited with all my might. The estatic feeling started really slow, from when I felt I would turn her down, to when I knew for sure she was listening to every word of my explaination and told me straight how I was confusing her, I wish I can learh this way with my fav teacher. This is what I usually can't find at school.

Sorry for breaking the promise to write to you sooner. But, let me recall what I promise to say.... Alright, basically just why kids were terrified of me and how I hate formal documents, two unrelated things to talk about. Now welcome you, to my deepest world, where you might be terrified or left with a question, "how the heck can this be possible?". So to be honest, I have brought a knife to school when I was having test the following day, what I did during that time was shouting at my mom on my school campus, skipping classes, bringing a huge, tightly packed bag to school for a premeditated runaway, and not following with the class, whose size is relatively small full of smart nerds so I turned out to be noticeable for my ignorance. That's kind of embarrassing to be seen doing my own thing by my crush but yeah, it just advocate for myself that I was using coping skill, otherwise I would have been bored to dead.
Even tho I only answer a question so far, but that might have satiated a bit of your curiosity (just saying, I know you don't really care, because I haven't seen any commebt so far). Anyway, I'm so declined to write since I don't think anyone would have time to read this rambles, so yeah, leave me an answer for if I should keep my work.