(Trigger warning: suicidal actions and thoughts)
Eleanor POV
     Hearing the yell of my parents downstairs is what makes me want to jump out of the window, not even joking anymore. Maybe if I just die I won't have to deal with it. "You're cheating on me!", "you're making me miserable!", "we're getting a divorce once we get back to America!".
     I look at the stripped tie I've somehow found in my hands. I've been practicing this knot with my lanyard in school, my shoelace in the car, a bracelet at night before bed. I've perfected it.
I do the knot and put it over my arm, pulling away it tightens. I pull tighter, to the maximum I can get. Even when I feel my arm ache I pull harder.
With my arm noose I slide against the cool tile. I rip off the tie and throw it across the bathroom.
I shouldn't think like this, after all it's selfish. But, I can't escape it. For the second best option, I take out a small back box, old and new blades sit in it, I pick out the one that's newest. I know how Lucille told me not to go down this path, how I was the one who lead her out but, here goes nothing.
Feeling the cool metal against my skin is like two pieces being joined. Cool, dark blood drips down my arm, I laugh. I laugh because it seems that's the only thing I know how to do.
Placing more down the length of my pale arm I laugh, wheeze even because I've forgot all emotions.
     I pull bandages out of the cabinet, wrapping them terribly and incorrectly. The small black box is put back into the drawer and I give a fake smile to the large smile.
     My smile drips right off when I hear a knock and a perfect, perky, voice question one word— "Ellie?".

Alice POV
     Seventeen, at seventeen years old I'm expected to not only have a lover but a child soon after. Then when the child needs us most murder their mother?
I could never.
     Alas, it's my fate. Crying in my room probably isn't a good solution to my misery, but here I am. It's funny how our misfortune is what has recently brought me and my father closer, but once again- it's life.
      My grandfather killed his wife, his father did the same, his father also, and so on. It seems I'll be the one to break one line but not the other, I'm the first woman but don't worry- I'll still get a wife.
      "Hey, Alice, I know it's hard to take in but it'll be okay." He says calmly.
      "I-I don't th-think I'll be a-able t-ta-to" I cut off, crying.
"Ah, but I believe you will. You are very strong and very smart. You know what must happen." He tells me, a emotionless smile on his face.
"Why so soon?" I whisper.
"Because you'll need time to heal."
When u give no response he pats my head and exits the room, there's only one way to leave it. No. I can't think like that but it seems like my only resort.
I could always confess my love, maybe she'll say yes. But that would only happen in a dream. Where the tide hits the sand, we hold hands watching the sun set. Her long baby blue dress flows around her elegantly as we stand there in love. But then, I would have to kill her.
I pull out my phone, restless. I couldn't live like this. I somehow got both Lucille and Eleanor's numbers, so I pulled up the one that I don't dread.
I hover over the keys, wondering how I would even say this over text. "Hey, kinda love you and want to marry you, have kids, and then murder you ;) jk jk... unless?????" Perfect!
I throw my phone across the room, it makes a wonky sound as it hits my week old Christmas tree.
I lay back into my flood of sheets, I'm hopeless.
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I wake to the semi dark sky, a dread cross over me as I acknowledge the start of a new day. Pulling on new sweatpants and a tank top, I make my way down stairs.
I take out a box of lucky charms from the pantry and milk. I ruin the calm in the world by pouring my milk in the bowl, then cereal. Eating it triumphantly, Bowie runs into the room.
I feel joy fill me as I put a baby's voice over mine and greet the poodle.
After my ten minute hello I walk outside into the cool morning air. This is one thing I truly enjoy. The birds singing, trees swaying slightly. The fact no one is yelling or breaking the silence.
After the breeze calmed down and a heat replaced it I went back inside. I made myself a tea and headed back up to my room.
Taking out my laptop I open YouTube and search 'Shane Dawson'. I go to his older videos, watching the "spooky bois" series.
The boys gave me a good laugh and overall start to my morning, alas six am had to come sooner or later and my day begun.
The winter break came to a end, the new year being nothing but a nuisance to accidental writing the wrong year.
I take out a large blue button down, leaving it open and pack my school bag. I finish the homework that I was supposed to do over break and put in back in the baby blue bag.
I hear my dad shuffling around in the hall and offer a 'good morning' that was groggily returned. I slip on sneakers that are in a very similar shade to the button down and head downstairs.
I sit for a while, sharing small talk with my dad before six thirty hits. I grab my keys, give a weak bye and head for school.
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:) I think this chapter is decent??? (: