It's a well known tradition, when you're sixteen and it strikes midnight of 31rd of December, your soul starts to lead you toward your soulmate. Your soulmate might not be the most pulchritudinous person but it's who you are stuck with for life. It's why every year there is a meeting for people like me. Once you're 16, the town gathers in the middle of the town and you get to meet your soulmate.

"Thanks mom!"

I wave at my mom before leaving, Ike sighs.

"When can I go with you?"

"Not yet, buddy! Five years!"

I can't wait to see who it is!

"Come back with them!" Dad says.

I nod and leave out my door, walking toward the middle of the town.

"Hey! Ky! Wait up!" Stan yells.

I turn as Stan catches up, taking me by the shoulder.

"I-I need a moment."

He's panting like hell.

"What got you so out of energy?"

"My sister was a complete asshole!"

I nod and Stan rises his head.

"You're not feeling anything.... are you?"

"No. What do you mean?"

"I mean I felt something."

I nod and he looks up.

"Hey! Girls!"

The straight up herd of girls stops and before we have a moment, Stan gets up.

"H-Hi."

Stan looks about ready to puke. What is going on?

"Well I.... girls.... I have somewhere to be," Red says.

"Is he your soulmate?" Wendy asks.

Oh shit.

"Y-Yeah. I think."

Wendy hits her on the back, sending her into Stan, ultimately sending Stan to me.

"Enjoy, he's nice but hoards."

Red laughs.

"Wendy! Did you have to expose me in front of-?" Stan asks.

"She knew! I complained, constantly."

I nod and Bebe puts an arm around Wendy.

"You're all so lucky to find your soulmates so easily!" Nichole says.

Wendy chuckles.

"Maybe it's the rich boy?"

"Wendy, not you too. Not just because I'm blac-."

"You have actual chemistry," Bebe says.

"Oh c'mon! I would rather have you all LIE than say this shit. I don't want to be soulmates with the one fucking black person in this town."

I shrug.

"Maybe you get Cartman."

"Yeah, it's possible. As possible as it is for you."

"NOOOOO!"

Nichole nods.

"Exactly!"

We continue to walk towards the middle of the town, my soul keeps getting more hard to understand. It's pulling, I just don't know where. It's conflicting.

"Oh you have to be fucking with me."

Jimmy just waves, rather awkwardly, towards Nichole.

"But hey! You didn't get Token!"

"Shut up."

"It knows what's the best for you, Nic!" I say.

Nichole nods, taking a deep breath.

"I guess. I'll be coming back, Jimmy, I just wanna see who Kyle's with."

Jimmy nods, avoiding talking to not stutter I guess. I don't know.

"Hey Kyle!"

I turn around to Butters. Kenny is with him, smiling.

"Oh I can't be the last one..."

"I'm afraid you are."

I show Kenny my middle finger, scanning around. A lot of people are leaving already, those who haven't are next to each other, holding hands.

Why...... what if my partner is in some other place? Why would my soul go crazy then? I don't understand that, why it would happen. Oh shit.... was I mistaken or something?

"Kyle..... I don't know if your partner is here."

I look around one last time before the feeling gets stronger. It's hard to explain what the feeling is, it's burning, it's warmth, it's cold, it's feels deadly and reassuring at the same time.

"Ah, I see."

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.

Nichole's eyes go wide.

"Kyle.... I'm sorry for complaining now."

I sigh and turn around to the 'man', Eric Cartman, a Nazi...... WELL I HAVE A GREAT ABUSED LIFE AHEAD OF ME!

"Isn't that nice?"

I roll my eyes.

"You can shut the fuck up, Fatass."

"Oh don't talk to me like that! You're going to have to spend a life with me! Let's make it easier on you by not arguing anymore."

"I doubt you would take that."

"Look, Jew, we're going by my rules. If you don't follow them, I'll leave."

What happens then?

"Okay, Okay, fine then!"

"Well well. You got yourself a deal then."

I want to strangle him with my bare hands, I fucking could... easily.

"My um.... family forced me to take-."

Don't come, don't come.

"Alright, lets go, Jew."

I sigh and look at Nichole.

"Now here we go! Have fun with having an understandable relationship!"

Kenny grabs me by the shoulder and hugs me.

"Good luck! I hope you'll do fine!"

I smile and hug him tight.

"Yeah Kyle, good luck."

Stan takes me into a hug as well.

"Bye Ky! I just..... good luck... for real."

I nod and walk down, looking at my shoes in silence as he talks about some shit I don't understand for shit. I would if I wasn't so in thought.

Is this what I'm gonna be stuck with? This is going to hurt so bad. Me.... and him to some degree. FUCK. Could God be more of a bitch if he tried?

"We're here."

I sigh and push my key into the lock, unlocking the door. It's so old you need to push it just the slightest.

"I'm home!"

"Kyle! And your soulmate is there."

"Yes mom..."

"You don't seem very happy."

"That's because I'm not."

Mom walks over, takes a long look at Fatass, looks at me disapprovingly and sits down.

"IKE! GERALD! FOOD IS SERVED!"

They both run down. Cartman starts to talk immediately, using the manipulating skills he has.

"I...... I'm really not hungry."

"Okay, eat later then, Kyle."

I nod and walk up to my room. As soon as I can reach my bed, I fall on it, yelling into my pillow about how unfair life is.

"BE QUIET!"

"SORRY DAD!"

I start actually crying. I don't like crying but FUCK, I know this'll be shit.