inspired by:
@cyndy_nerd 's book titled Domestic Avengers! chapter "My Aim is Incredible"
Meaning, the idea surrounding my oneshot came from their story. Go check it out!!

Link: https://my.w.tt/K03vrCRqc6

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"— And to this day, the myth surrounding the haunting of America's presidential White House is still one of the country's biggest mysteries. Anyway, leave your theories in the comments down below! If you liked this video, like and-dash-or subscribe! My name's Mohammed and if you're a fellow Creep-head, stay tuned for more Scary Hazardous Coincidences, mysterious deaths and Horrendous Horror Stories! Bye!"

The video came to an end and Peter didn't hesitate to press his thumb on the like button.
MurderFantasia1693 was a channel he had just discovered last week and he was already subscribed and not just because he had seen  more than half of Mohammed's amazing materials already, but because he also really wished to see more. Normally he'd watched Buzzfeed unsolved's or Rob Gavagan's content, but late last night, he had accidentally tapped on MurderFantasia1693's incredible take on the Winchester house story. Nevertheless, Mohammed's voice, intonation and story telling skills were simply out of this world and Peter needed to see more.

Before YouTube could pop an add under his nose, he rapidly scrolled through the recommended where, just under a Simplynailogical video (He blamed Wanda for this) was content filled with Scary Hazardous Coincidences, mysterious deaths and Horrendous Horror Stories he had yet to watch. He didn't even need to read the name or even look at the thumbnail to know that this 15 minutes gem would be as incredible as the last thirty-four videos he had bingewatched that day: he already knew how awesome this video would be and the answer was very. In other words, the thumbnail could have been a mugshot of Joshua James —The guy who threw a live alligator as a "prank" through a Wendy's drive-through window in Florida (of fucking course it was in Florida, where else would it be? Montréal? Ah! Let me laugh!!) back in 2016— and he would have watch it anyway. By that the Author means that as long as there wasn't a red line signifying he had already done so, he would tap on it.

"Peter? Could you come help Steve, Bruce and I with the dishes? We're going to need more hands!" Called Sam from the kitchen.

With a classic teenage sigh, Spider-Man yelled back "Coming!" even though he had no intention of getting up any time soon. Ah. Teens. They're so hashtag-relatable! *ironic Dab*

Last night, Scott, Clint and Tony had made barbecue chicken on beer cans, a recipe from Scott's dad. Wanda and the Vision had prepared a huge salad, one with three kinds of lettuce (Romain, Kale and Rocket leaves), cucumber bites, shredded spaghetti squash, bits of corn and juicy segments of mandarin oranges. Of course, such a delicious meal couldn't not be accompanied by oven roasted potatoes, one of Sam's best (and only) recipe.
Now, try to imagine feeding one genius, one not-quite-vegan CEO, two super soldier as well as a teenager who had a fast and high metabolism, two very hungry God with huge appetite, two super spies, two military men, one radioactive scientist, one giant yet tiny heist master and one teenage witch. Now picture the amount of food.

Anyway, even if the Vision didn't eat, it was still a massive amount of food and a massive amount of dishes. Sure, they had a dishwasher, but not everything was dishwasher safe, as learned by Steve.

That latter had once tried to re-use birthday candles from Bucky's hundredth and fifth by putting them in the dishwasher. Do I need to tell you that candle wax + hot boiling water is not a good mix? Because it wasn't. At all.

"Peter!" Sam called again, this time louder.

"Coming!!"

And that's when his hero walked in.
Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, in all his Jesus glories, appeared from the elevator door. He was wearing black sweat pants just like Peter, and an old washed out band T-shirt, almost like Peter's science pun one but bigger and cleaner.

"Morning, kid," greeted the brainwashed veteran as he finally got out of the elevator, a book — A Quiet Belief In Angels by R. J. Ellory — tugged underneath his right armpit. "What are you watching?"

Bucky took a seat next to Peter who (unconsciously) groaned because he had to get up and make place for the metal-armed man.

"Just some conspiracy theories. It passes the time when you're procrastinating life," he shrugged.

Bucky stayed silent while he processed the teenager's sense of humor.

meanwhile Steve who was arms-deep in bubbles caused by a large amount of dish soap sighed as he — yet again— called out for Peter's help.

He groaned yet again before he decided to get up. He hesitated to pause Mohammed's video because he noticed Bucky's interest toward it before he decided to resumed it later on. A tap on the screen and a quick press on the side button later and his Stark phone was off.

"I'm coming!"

"You said that twenty minutes ago!!" replied the Falcon.

"It's only been five minutes!!"

James smiled at him.

"Go help them," he said with a roll of eyes. "I'll read my book" —he raised his book in example— "and you'll tell me more about those conspiracies theories later."

With a nod, the spiderling agreed before he rushed to the kitchen.

"Bucky? I know you're there! Get up from your lazy butt and come help us!!"

With a sigh, James Buchanan Barnes got up.

"Fuck your stupid super hearing, Punk," whispered the soldier.

"I heard that!!"

***

It wasn't until far later that day that Peter and Bucky found the time to sit down.

After the dishes came the laundry, after the laundry came the weekly bedroom cleaning (With Captain America's checkup afterwards) and after that was the vacuuming, the dusting and finally, when night was almost upon: they prepared the supper. And after that? Well, it was training time for everyone ("no exception Peter, you'll go patrol after"). And then, as eight PM came around, Spider-Man had swung out from his window and didn't come back before three thirty-two AM that Satur— Sunday— morning.

Meaning, at three thirty-four AM, not even two minutes after Queen's Vigilante had removed his mask, it was a pleasant surprise to find Bucky still awake. He was drinking a cup of green tea with a few drops of honey and a pinch of lemon juice, sitting criss-cross on the couch's living room with a sleeping Steve snuggled up to him. A blanket was covering what Peter assumed wasn't something he would have wanted to hear had he been there. Sure, Bucky was wearing a T-Shirt, but could you really underestimate Peter from having heard him put it on seconds ago?

"Really? On the couch?" was the teenager's comment.

"Stark said the exact same thing when he came up from his lab," chuckled the World War II veteran.

After this small exchange of words, Peter had left for a warm shower and a change of clothes.

"You do know how late it is right? Aren't you super old? Shouldn't you be in bed at like, I don't know, eight?" The (now) pajama dressed teenage hero commented. "Why are you up so late?"

"Nightmare," explained James.

To those words, Peter's shoulders went straighter. He eyed the room all over in search of clues but only found Steve's empty cup of tea as well as the Captain himself.

"No, not me— Steve. He had an episode so we got some tea, watched a movie and... Well... One thing led to another and, well, I comforted him back to sleep?"

Peter made a grimace.

"Gross," said the teenager.

"You're just saying that because you're not in a relationship," winked the soldier.

"What makes you think that?" stupidity replied Peter.

"The amount of jizz I see when it's my turn to do the laundry."

On those words, Parker shut up, embarrassed.

Instead, he turned to the muted TV where some late night cartoons were playing.

"You're gonna go change and after that we're watching more of that stuff you showed me earlier."

Not even twenty minutes later, the teen came back, this time, with a huge bowl of chili in hands. Like he had done so many times before, he opened the YouTube application, clicked on the first video he saw that could be interesting, paused it after the double ads, and cast it to the huge TV with F.R.I.D.A.Y's help.

There, Barnes unmuted the television but kept the volume low.

It was MurderFantasia1693's newest video.

And it was about the J.F.K assassination.

"Who's that guy?" asked the guy with the metal arm.

"Some guy who was president in the sixties I think."

The narrator continued to ramble for another five minutes before he introduced the subject of the video.

Her name is the Babushka Lady.

The only person non accounted for in the assassination of America's 35th president.

"Hey I remember that..." muttered Barnes at one moment.

Then, not even a minute later, a black and white picture of the supposed babushka woman appeared on screen. A red circle identified her to the viewer.

"Oh shit!" exclaimed the (ex) master assassin. "I know that dame!!"

On those words, Peter spurned around from his position on the floor.

"Really?!" Stars of curiosity were shining with joy in his eyes.

"Yeah, that's me!"

Peter chocked on his spoonful of chili.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU'RE THE BABUSHKA LADY?!?"

(published 26/02/2021)