OKAY SO THIS IS BASICALLY...

A Avengers REaliTy TV Show!! FUN! 

Basically a mockumentary like 'The Office' camera zoom ins, awkward moments, Jim faces from Nat, Tony, Peter, and Loki ETC. **Inspired by some youtube videos and instagram posts**.

Without fuuurtthhehrherherhoewrhrrr ado...

Assembling the Avengers 

~~~~~~~~

~EPISODE ONE~

Peter did not expect to agree to take part in a reality show. He definitely didn't expect The Avengers agreeing to have one. He wasn't really that fond of the idea of being followed around and watched constantly. And now he found himself being the first introduced character, and the official tour guide in the episode. He was playing 'the Intern'.

He walked up to all of the cameras, microphones, and crew, and sat down on one of their chairs. 

The director put up three fingers, slowly counting down. Once it reached zero, Peter began speaking. 

"My name's Peter Parker and I'm the intern! I work personally with Tony Stark, so I somehow got roped into all of this..."

The director yelled out 'CUT!' and he went on his way. From then on, he would just do whatever and hope that the content was entertaining enough. None of the other Avengers had to be specially introduced because they were the Avengers, everyone knew who they were. They would just be in the title sequence. 

~~~~~~~~

From here on out it will be the scenes that are being aired.

**SIDE NOTE IMPORTANT**

~~~~~~~~ : MEANS ENTIRE PLOT AND SCENE CHANGE

---- : MEANS PLOT STAYS THE SAME BUT SCENE CHANGES TO SHOW SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENING PERTAINING TO PLOT.

~~~~~~~~

Thor was seen, practically inhaling 5 pop-tarts in one go, with a frantic Peter. 

"Thor no, don't do that, it'll kill you!"

"Uh yeah, I sure hope it does."

Peter chuckled lightly forgetting about what Thor was doing, before widening his eyes realizing that Thor had no idea what vine was. 

"W a i t  n o!"

~~~~~~~~

Tony walked into the room, with a purpose.

"Where's Steve?" He asked Natasha.

Natasha gave a look to the camera before cupping her hands to her mouth and shouting, "BUCKY BARNES DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE LOVED!"

Suddenly Steve stormed into the room with a murderous look on his face, "Who wants to FUCKING DIE!?!"

"There he is." Natasha said with a smirk.

----

Steve was seen, sitting on a chair crossing his arms. 

"Well I'm sorry, that I care for a fellow comrade! He is my best friend and it was rude of Nat to say that so loudly!"

~~~~~~~~

Clint was sitting on a chair talking to the camera. 

"So, I have a hunch." He said, before pausing.

"I think that Peter is actually Tony Stark's son."

"I know, I know, it sounds dumb! But I HAVE A 'DADAR'! A DAD RADAR. I came up with that by the way."

The scene cut to show Tony and Peter working on his Iron Man suit. 

Suddenly, Peter's stomach rumbled.

"Ugh, I'm hungry."

"Hi hungry, I'm Dad."

The both of them froze and looked at each other. Suddenly, a new voice was heard in the vents.

"HAH I KNEW IT, I F*CKING KNEW IT!"

Clint.

----

"I told you! I told ALL of you! No one believed me! I knew it! I have a 'Dadar'" Clint shouted in glee.

He fell off his chair laughing his a*s off.

----

Peter was sitting on a chair and talking to the camera.

"No, no, no, nope. Mr. Stark is not my dad. I'm just an intern! I do see him as a father figure, but I doubt he sees me the same way. But yea, just an intern!" Peter said with a sad laugh.

----

Now it was Tony sitting in the chair, with a fond smile towards the camera.

"Yeah, I guess I do see him as a son. I doubt he sees me as a father figure, though. But the kid means the world to me, along with Pepper of course, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself for the both of them."

~~~~~~~~

Tony slammed into the living room and fell out of his suit, clutching his arm in pain. It was bleeding. 

Peter and Bruce rushed up to help him, as they were the only two in the room at the moment. Good thing Bruce, an acclaimed doctor, was there. 

"Peter, the wound isn't that bad, but put pressure on it just in case, I'm going to get some medical supplies from the cabinet."

"Got it." 

Peter turned to Tony's wound and started screaming at it.

"THERE'S A LOT RIDING ON YOU! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT WORTHLESS! YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT! NEVER!! EVERYTHING IS AT STAKE HERE YOU PIECE OF SH*T!"

"What the hell are you doing?" Tony said, exasperated at his antics.

"I'M PUTTING PRESSURE ON IT!" Peter screamed.

"Jesus Christ." Tony said as Bruce came rushing into the room. 

~~~~~~~~

The Avengers were lounging around in the room, having mini conversations.

Steve and Bucky were quietly conversing when suddenly Bucky said really loudly.

"I only have one emotion, anger."

Steve scoffed. "Last night, you texted me at least a thousand heart emojis."

"Out of anger." Bucky reasoned. 

Peter gave a look to the camera. 

----

"They are literally dating, but won't FREAKING admit it! It's driving me nuts!" Peter said throwing his hands up in the air.

"Ya damn straight." Natasha said sassily walking into the room where Peter was sitting and talking to the cameras. 

~~~~~~~~

Sam, Bucky, Steve, and Natasha got a mission alert. 

Sam was assigned to go and pick one other team member. 

"I'll go with you." Steve said.

"I can't risk someone I care about getting hurt." Sam replied in all seriousness.

"I'll go." Bucky said with a shrug.

"Okay." Sam said walking out the door with Bucky trailing behind.

Natasha just rolled her eyes at the camera and went after them anyways, muttering a small "f*ck the rules".

---

"What?" Sam said sitting in 'the chair'.

~~~~~~~~

Steve had called everyone to the living room for an announcement. 

After everyone gathered, Steve spoke up. "Alright, everyone listen up!"

"I read somewhere that when we hold onto things that have a negative impact on us, more negative energy will surround us causing us to have more bad luck than normal."

Everyone looked at him weirdly, and Loki just made a face at one of the cameras.

"So, every Friday, starting today, we are going to have a movie night. NO WEAPONS ALLOWED. They associate something negative to basically all of us. Okay? So, no weapons. I'm looking at you Nat." 

Nat just glared at him as everyone went to put there stuff away.

----

Everyone made themselves comfortable around the TV. Steve walked in with a smile, glad that everyone listened. Well almost everyone. He looked over at Natasha, with his Eyebrows of Disappointment™. 

"Nat, empty your pockets."

"Okay." 

Natasha began to empty out knives from her pockets. 

Steve stared at her, and furrowed his eyebrows after a solid minute had passed by of her just pulling out knives from her pockets.

Nat still didn't seem to be done as she just continued to pull out knives from her never ending pockets.

"Natasha." 

----

"What?" Natasha said, with an innocent expression on her face.

~~~~~~~~

Steve was minding his own business, sitting on the couch, reading the news, and sipping a cup of coffee. Peter was sitting on a chair on the other side of the couch. 

Steve sneezed, a common thing to do, when suddenly a creaking noise was heard above the two of them. 

The two of them looked up as Steve said, "What the-?"

"God Bless America." Clint loudly whispered before a creaking noise was heard once again. He must have left. 

Steve was confused and looked over at Peter who was trying so hard not to laugh. He was chuckling and covering his mouth and clutching his stomach. 

Peter looked over at the cameraman, "You got that, right?"

~~~~~~~~

Thor and Loki were sitting on the couch, using their phones. 

"Wanna play sims with me?" Loki asked.

"I am never playing sims with you again after you made an underground torture chamber."

"But what else would you do in the sims?"

"TAKE CARE OF THEM." Thor said exasperated.

Loki scoffed, "Unrealistic." 

~~~~~~~~

Tony and Peter were in the car and Peter was driving rather aggressively. They were on an empty plain that had tons of natural obstacles (trees, rivers, cliffs, etc.). Peter had just drove the car off a cliff and to the other side. He flipped through two fallen trees by driving sideways in the air. Then, Peter drove off another cliff and onto a rocky terrain, heading straight for the river.

Tony was clutching the seat, looking at Peter frantically, "Where'd you learn to drive like that?"

Peter flicked his sunglasses on, and the camera zoomed in on his face.

"Grand Theft Auto." Peter replied a little deeper than his normal voice. He looked back at the road and sped up.

~~~~~~~~

Tony walked in with a bunch of grocery bags.

"Hey Peter, can you carry this for me?"

"Uhh, I don't know, I can barely handle the weight of my depression."

"Peter, pick up the damn grocery bag."

~~~~~~~~

Peter, wearing Thor and Mjolnir pajama pants, groggily walked into the living room. 

Peter yawned and looked up, meeting eyes with Thor. Peter widened his eyes as he realized Thor saw him wearing his Thor and Mjolnir pajamas. 

Peter just stared at Thor staring at his pajamas. Peter frantically looked over at the camera with wide eyes. Peter and Thor looked at each other for a bit. 

A horribly long pause. 

"Tony, what a fashionable son you have."

"Thank you."

Peter just blinked and made a face at the camera.

~~~~~~~~

Tony walked in the living room, where Pepper and Rhodey were currently sitting, wearing a pink shirt. Rhodey looked up at him and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Why are you wearing a pink shirt?"

"And what about it? You think I can't pull it off, huh? You think men aren't allowed to wear pretty colors? I'm extremely disappointed in your regressive, backward, yeehaw-thinking, colonial-"

"You tried washing Spider-Man's suit with your white shirts and it colored them pink didn't you?" Pepper interrupted sipping her tea, 'almost' spilling it. 

Tony turned towards Pepper and looked over at both Rhodey and Pepper, "WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THE RED WOULD ESCAPE THE CLOTH, PEP?" 

~~~~~~~~

Dr. Bruce Banner was being recorded sipping some tea and reading an article on the couch, when a loud crash was heard and Peter Parker slid into the room. 

"B-Bruce? Does my stomach think ALL potatoes are mashed???" Peter said sounding highly concerned. 

Bruce blinked for a few seconds, turning slightly 'green' just thinking about it. He suddenly stood up, spilled his tea, and took off his glasses, staring at Peter in astonishment. 

"Holy shi-"

~~~~~~~~

Steve came running into the kitchen looking for Bucky. 

"BuuuUUUCKKKy!"

"Yeah?"

"Peter and Shuri just told me I have big dick energy, what does that mean???"

"Wow, they said that? That's the real tea."

Steve blinked for a second and furrowed his eyebrows. He swiftly turned around and ran out of the kitchen, screaming "NaTTaaaaaSsHa!"

----

"I still don't understand these references!"

"Except for that one time." Steve said, smiling fondly at the memory.

~~~~~~~~

Peter had a long day of patrol the past day and finally came home, exhausted. He had an ongoing headache, and was too out of it to even register the fact that there were cameras watching his every move. The producers were under swift instructions to not go into their rooms so he changed out of his suit and was left in his boxers. He was too sweaty and hot to bother putting on a shirt and started to head towards the kitchen to get some food, most likely cereal. 

He headed out of the door, still not registering the cameras catching a perfect view of his eight pack abs. He ran a hand through his hair and got a box of Honey Nut Cheerios™. And walked out. 

Later the camera crew questioned him about it. 

----

"Yeah, okay!"

"I. Have. Abs. Deal with it. It's literally no big deal, I just work out." 

Peter was on the chair, answering questions from the crew. It cut again.

"Me? Scrawny? Yeah, I get that a lot, I've just learned to brush it off. Look, I was just really tired and out of it, I literally forgot about the cameras. I already have so many people questioning me on how I got on the show, and how I know the Avengers and I seriously don't have the time or energy to deal with even more questions. Also, the paparazzi are getting really annoying. So, please, please, please, plEaSeEe don't put it in the show?" 

A pause.

"Really? Yes! Thank you so much!"

Little did he know...

That these producers are a bunch of conniving little shits.

~~~~~~~~

The camera, showed a peaceful home full of Avengers, blissfully sleeping. 

When suddenly, "Wake uuup! Rise and shine! We've got lots to do today!" Tony yelled out, slamming everyone's door open. To be honest, he could have easily let them sleep until ten, but just chose not to.

"Ughhh..." Everyone groaned.

----

"For some reason, Tony thinks that everyone should be up at 8:30, every morning!" Steve said, exasperated and throwing hands. He fell back onto the chair he was sitting on.

----

"Stark's an assh*le," Bucky said, rubbing his forehead.

~~~~~~~~

"Every Tuesday, we have a meeting where we write our problems down aand read them to the rest of the group." Steve explained to the cameras, and later to the audience watching.

----

"I have a couple of requests," Bruce began, he was standing in front of the other Avengers in the conference room with a piece of paper on his hand, "Natasha, if you could put the - uh - cap back on the toothpaste when you're done, that would be great. The toothpaste on the surface gets hard and, crusty, and I always have to, uh, clean it off." 

"And Bucky, Wanda, whichever of you combs your hair in the living room and leaves the hair on the ground, it really needs to stop, it's disgusting. And, oookay, that's it, that's the, uh, end of my list." Bruce finished awkwardly and made his way towards his seat, fist-bumping both Tony and Peter on the way there. 

Steve got up with a piece of paper and began to list out his problems. 

"Okay, so first off, I'd like Tony to stop challenging me about everything I say." 

"Then don't say things I can challenge you on." Tony said with a smirk.

"See! That is exactly what I'm talking about." Steve pointed out.

"He didn't ask you." Bucky said, defending Steve.

"Do you want me to blast both your arms out this time?" Tony said annoyed and with a sillier tone.

"Hey! Enough!" Steve shouted.

"I think we need an intervention." Clint suggested noticing the problems within the team. 

The cameras zoomed in on everyone's faces.

"Really? Ya think?" Tony yelled out.

"Yea, I agree. Bruce, you're a doctor." Natasha said calmly.

"Oh, uh, right yes. Um." Bruce cleared his throat.

"Tony?" Bruce said scratching his head and looking over at Tony. Tony gestured for him to continue. Bucky was sitting next to Bruce and leaned back onto the couch they both were on.

"Tell me about your mother." Bruce finally let out.

Suddenly, Bucky jumped onto Bruce. The camera cut to Steve saying, "Oh god, no! Don't ask about his mother!" The camera cut back to Bucky choking Bruce.

The camera zoomed in on Tony's smirking face.

"Here we go again." Clint muttered.

~~~~~~~~

"Living together is, well, it's never boring." Natasha told the camera, leaning her head onto her hand. 

"Everyone has little things that they do that just drives the rest of us up the wall." Natasha continued. 

----

"Okay, seriously?" Tony yelled. "Who deleted my Game of Thrones recordings and replaced them with 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians'?" 

----

The scene cut to Pietro, Wanda, Peter, and Shuri, sitting on the sofa chairs, laughing their asses off. 

----

Steve walked into the room and saw some crude magazines on the table. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Uhh, someone left, uh, nude, magazines on the table." Steve said picking them up.

Suddenly Bucky appeared and grabbed the magazines. "Wasn't me." He said monotonously. 

Steve looked at the camera with wide eyes and took in a deep breath. 

----

Bruce was seen picking out hair from small nooks and crannies around the building. "Disgusting!" He observed it for a quick second before screaming, "BUUUCKKKKYYYYY!"

A faint and monotonous, "Wasn't me." was heard in the background. 

----

Natasha opened the fridge, looking for a drink, but saw nothing there. She slammed the fridge close. 

"Who drank all my vodka?" 

Bucky walked by the kitchen with the same, monotonous voice. 

"Wasn't me."

----

"Someone keeps leaving dirty underwear on the bathroom mirror." Tony said turning to look at Bucky. "It's probably terminator over there."

Bucky said, almost on instinct, "Wasn't me." before slipping and falling to the floor. 

----

"Of course it was me." Bucky said on 'the chair of truth'.

~~~~~~~~

Tony and Bucky were alone in a room, when Tony came up with a brilliant idea. 

"Hey Bucky!" He began at a normal volume. He slowly leaned into Bucky's ear and whispered, "Hail HYDRA."

Bucky stared at him for a second before uppercutting him in the face.

----

"Asshole." Bucky said massaging his temple, once again sitting on 'the chair'.

~~~~~~~~

Tony was discussing a theory, that almost all of the Avengers believed, to the camera.

"Everyone believes that Wanda is housing a herd of cats in her room."

----

Wanda discreetly left her room, only opening the door enough so she can slip out, obstructing the view of her room to anyone outside her door. It was easy to hear the loud meows coming from her several cats. After she softly closed her door, she turned around and wiped off the cat fur off of her clothes and quietly huffed. She looked up to see Bucky Barnes suspiciously staring at her. They had a staring contest for a solid 30 seconds. Bucky narrowed his eyes at her and then walked away.

----

Bucky, once again on 'the chair', concluded, "She's definitely hiding cats."

----

Now Wanda was on 'the chair', "I... think they are catching on to the fact that I have, uh, cats."

----

Steve was sitting on the iconic 'chair' this time, "I think Wanda is an interesting person, really."

----

The scene cut back to Wanda listing the names of her cats, "There's... Pickles, Matt, Smudge, Mr. Whiskers, Dorian Keith Charles the Third, Annie-"

~~~~~~~~

Bucky turned to look at the camera, "Wanda scares me."

----

The scene cut to a flashback showing Bucky walking into the kitchen to get a midnight snack. Instead, he sees Wanda pouring a cup of milk. The scene is dark and intrepid and the lack of lighting covers part of Wanda's face. Wanda slowly turned her head to look at Bucky, who was standing at the doorway, and slowly slurped her cup of milk, staring at him dead in the face. 

"You want... s o m e  m i l k?" She asked slowly and creepily, tilting her head. 

"Noooo... Thanks..." Bucky said, shaking his head furiously. 

"Are. You. Sure?" Wanda asked again. 

"Yep." Bucky said quickly before darting away.

~~~~~~~~

Peter and Shuri ran into the living room, where Tony and T'challa were. They paused to catch their breath and Shuri put a finger up indicating that they needed a second. 

Peter finally spoke up, "T-Tony, T'challa, they did surgery-"

"ON A GRAPE!" Shuri interrupted.

"They did what?" A new voice was heard. Everyone turned to see Bruce Banner throwing his glasses to the floor and stomping on it. 

"Uhh, Bruce?"

"WHAT?" Bruce said, extremely green. Everyone gulped and looked towards one another.

"I-I-" Bruce began, turning into the Hulk. 

"HUMANITY DUMB! HULK SMASH!" 

~~~~~~~~

Peter was watching the Avengers train without them knowing and accidentally got hit with Captain America's shield. 

----

Peter slept on a hospital bed, a faint beeping noise could be heard in the background. He slowly woke up to see Tony sitting in the chair next to the bed. 

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

In his groggy state, Peter asked, "Can you sing Soft Kitty for me?"

Tony massaged his temple, annoyed at the odd request. After a minute or so, he finally gave in and started to sing.

"Soft kiiitty, warm kitty," Tony sang rather monotonously, he was clearly not okay with singing it, but he would do anything for Peter. 

"Little ball of fuuur," Tony dragged on unenthusiastically. 

"Happy kitty, sleepy kitty,"

"Puuurr. Puuurr. Puuuurr." Tony finished, putting his fingers to the bridge of his nose, letting out a long sigh. 

Peter had peacefully fallen back asleep by then. 

~~~~~~~~

~END~

*UNEDITED*

HOPED YOU LIKED IT! AHAH, this was the hella funny chapter I was talking about. Idk if it's actually funny though but whatever hopefully it is cuz it was to me. sorry if it wasn't. 

SORRY IT TOOK SOOO LONG TO COME OUT. I have been getting like so many tests and quizzes. AND I KNOW, I KNOW that's what i said LAST time. BUUUT that's high school for ya. Pop quiz everyday, quiz 2 times a week. Tests every two weeks at the same time as every other class. UGHHHH tHe TeAcHeRs ArE mUlTiPlE fOrMs oF SATAN hImSelF. 

ALSO COVER VOTING CONTEST COMING SOON!! (FOR MY NEW BOOK ABOUT THOR!DAD AND SPIDER!SON)

PART 2???

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BONUS:

Peter went to school the next day, right after the episode was aired. Most people became huge fans of him and many fan accounts were created. He even gained a million followers in a day. 

Everyone swarmed him at school and paparazzi followed him on the daily. 

Guess you could say he was the next Kim Kardashian?

~~~~~~~~

Oh god no, get that weird mental image the hell out of my fucken head. Ewww, nopppeee.