❛ Ooh, it goes hand in hand with fear for the afterlife. Ooh, how can we fight it if we don't even know why? ❜

SEASON 3, EPISODE 15
this sorrowful life

━━━━━━ day 319.

MICHONNE STARTED TO pull her weight and prove herself to the group after going on the supply run with Rick a few weeks back. Michonne was doing good work to make sure that it'd be an unnecessary loss when Rick had to make the call of sending her away.

⠀⠀⠀Cal was doing his part, too. He got along with almost everyone—except Carl, who was still standoff-ish toward him—and took over cooking when Carol wasn't feeling up for it. His meals weren't five-star, but they were comforting and filled with love that it tasted like it could be. Or, at least, that's what Bianca thought.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca was recovering from her gunshot wound, but with the impending war about to cross their path, she tried to help with what she could. She worked on resetting their defenses around the courtyard while Cal worked with Michonne in the field.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca hated the slight twist of jealousy in her stomach at the thought of them getting along. Michonne had saved Cal's life, and all Bianca could do was put him in danger. She clenched her fist and ground her teeth to force the thoughts out of her head.

⠀⠀⠀She turned her attention to something she could fix rather than worry about her boyfriend and his friend. Because that's what they were friends with, and Bianca didn't need to worry about it. She found a rusted gate hanging on its last hinge with a chain hardly supporting it. Bianca limped over, dismissing the pain in her leg and worried about the task at hand.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca rattled the gate, finding where the issued lied when Daryl approached. The two hadn't spoken much more than when he returned as his brother always seemed too close for her liking.

⠀⠀⠀"You seen Merle around?" Daryl asked.

⠀⠀⠀"I think he's inside, keeping his distance," Bianca responded, trying not to show her disapproval of him being around. The two had also narrowly avoided, on several occasions, a screaming match. Bianca wasn't in the mood to get into one with him.

⠀⠀⠀Daryl walked over to help her with the gate. He held it up while Bianca unraveled the chain, then he raised the gate so she could shut the door from the other side of the cell and secure the area.

⠀⠀⠀"He say he was sorry yet?" Daryl asked when they finished.

⠀⠀⠀"No."

⠀⠀⠀"He is," Daryl assured her with a firm nod. Bianca looked at him and then walked away, not wanting to have this conversation with him. "He's gonna make it right. I'm gonna make him. There's gotta be a way, just needs a little forgiveness, is all."

⠀⠀⠀Bianca's hands clenched, and she could feel her blood pressure rising. The red wanted to fill her vision like at the Atlanta camp or in the woods with Merle again, but she forced it down. The rage had been hibernating through the winter, letting anxiety and paranoia play their parts for the time being. However, now that they were safe and Cal was with her again, she was no longer scared. Instead, she was protective and wouldn't allow anyone, not even Merle, to ruin her life.

⠀⠀⠀"He doesn't need to apologize. I don't need to forgive him. Simple as that," Bianca told him with a shrug.

⠀⠀⠀"C'mon, kid," Daryl pleaded, stepping in front of her. "It ain't gonna get any easier, but we can try."

⠀⠀⠀"Daryl, I explained it before... what happened, and you still left me!" Bianca snapped at him, her expression breaking into anger. A fire lit behind her eyes, her brows furrowed together, and her frown deep into her face. Daryl stared back, lost for words because he knew it too. He just didn't want to listen. "I don't care that he beat the shit out of me, tried to kill me. That's what that bastard does," Bianca continued, shaking her head slowly while opening and closing her hands to release the tension. "But he let Maggie nearly get raped by the Governor, almost killed my boyfriend, and I can't forgive him for that."

⠀⠀⠀"Bianca, I—"

⠀⠀⠀"It's fine, Daryl," Bianca pressed, raising her hand to stop him. "I'm not looking to pick a fight. He's here now, and there's nothin' that can be done. Just don't ask me to kiss his ass."

⠀⠀⠀Daryl didn't try to argue further, and Bianca took that as her leave.

"SO, WHERE IS it?" Michonne asked.

⠀⠀⠀She and Cal had been asked by Merle to join him in the tunnels as per Rick's request. Cal had always been a little too gullible, but something didn't feel right. It was just Merle leading them through the tunnels. Cal was certain that someone else would've joined them. However, Michonne didn't seem bothered by the expedition, so Cal decided to trust her gut instincts more than his own.

⠀⠀⠀"Around the corner," Merle explained as he led the way. "We gotta clear some walkers, then get the others down here to barricade it. A breach like this could be an open invitation to the Governor."

⠀⠀⠀"He's not one for subtlety," Michonne stated, looking into one of the cells as a biter tried to claw its way through the bars towards her.

⠀⠀⠀"No, he likes to make a show of his conquers," Cal added, narrowing his eyes.

⠀⠀⠀Merle looked back at them as a biter turned the hall and headed toward them.

⠀⠀⠀"Y'all wanna take your chances?" Merle asked gruffly.

⠀⠀⠀Cal sighed but moved forward to knock down the biters coming for them. Michonne killed one, and Merle took out another. More started to pour into the hall when Cal heard Michonne grunt and fall to the ground beside him. Cal turned to see what had happened. Merle stood over her, and his angry face contorted his entire expression as he swung his metal-covered stump arm in Cal's direction and knocked him out.

CAL AND MICHONNE woke up with their hands tied expertly in front of them, so there was no means of escape. The rope knotted between their wrists, fingertips pressed flush against one another, held by zip ties. Then, Merle led them out into town and far from the prison.

⠀⠀⠀Cal wasn't sure what he should do to try and escape. He was tied up and taken hostage by Merle. He could kill a biter without a second thought, but a living person was a harder concept to get around. And now, his mind was plagued with the idea that he had just gotten back to Bianca, and he was just gonna what... lose her again? It wasn't fair, but he should know by now that none of this is fair.

⠀⠀⠀Cal could only hope that Michonne might have an idea of how to get them out, or an opportunity might present itself. So, he kept his head low and tried not to get a shot through the forehead.

⠀⠀⠀"Governor made Rick an offer. Turn you over, and we all give peace a chance," Merle explained to Michonne after she asked what he was doing with them. "I agree with you. He would've blinked."

⠀⠀⠀"But not you," Michonne replied with a thin smile.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm being straight with you," Merle told her with a shrug.

⠀⠀⠀"You weren't straight when you led us into the tombs," Michonne retorted.

⠀⠀⠀"Okay, maybe I wasn't straight."

⠀⠀⠀"You put a bag over my head."

⠀⠀⠀"I got it done. He wouldn't," Merle stated, growing irritated by her incessant talking. He stood behind them and pointed the gun between her and Cal with a scowl as he pushed them forward. "Keep movin'."

⠀⠀⠀They continued walking, and Cal could only hope Merle was done talking. But, the man seemed to never stop.

⠀⠀⠀"He was the guy that came back for me on that rooftop. Nah, it's all on me," Merle complained, and Cal could practically hear him rolling his eyes. "Y'know? I figure that's why I was back there in the first place, do the dirty work."

⠀⠀⠀A biter appeared, walking over its own two feet as he crossed a back lawn. Merle noticed it and started to chuckle in amusement. He holstered his gun and then produced Michonne's katana, where it rested on his hip. He gave her a broad smile, knowing it agitated her.

⠀⠀⠀"May I?" he asked. She didn't answer. "I'll take that as a yes."

⠀⠀⠀Merle turned his back on them, giving them the opportunity if they wanted. Cal nearly considered it, but Michonne's eyes locked on his. She seemed to know exactly what he was thinking and shook her head slightly. Cal frowned but listened. This wasn't their opportunity. It was a trap.

⠀⠀⠀"Oh!" Merle exclaimed, turning back to them. "Y'know what? I'd figured you two would've run away."

⠀⠀⠀"Wanted my sword back before I get away," Michonne explained, a thick sarcastic grin pulled across her face for him to see.

⠀⠀⠀"It may go down that way, but if I were you, I wouldn't get my hopes up," Merle told her, standing behind them again. "Move."

"I WANT TO be with my brother. My brother, he wants to be in the prison," Merle mused as they continued their journey down the main road. "This little trip... maybe it'll keep that place standin'. If I pull it off, maybe all is forgiven."

⠀⠀⠀"I've seen how Bianca and Daryl get on. They're close," Cal said. He hadn't said a word since they'd been walking around, trying to keep his head down, but it's like Merle knew how to work a nerve. "You hand us over. You'll be on her bad side. The real bad side. Then, you might lose your brother, too."

⠀⠀⠀"Your little summer fling has nothin' on me and my brother," Merle scoffed, waving him off with a smirk.

⠀⠀⠀"We didn't just meet, man," Cal said, rolling his eyes. He turned to look back at Merle as he stared back inquisitively at him. "I knew her from before. We were together then. We're together now."

⠀⠀⠀Merle frowned, considering Cal's claim as he raised an eyebrow.

⠀⠀⠀"Some love story you got goin' there," Merle muttered, no snark or laughter in his voice. He didn't seem sure of himself either but continued to boast himself. "Daryl's family, though. You're little girlfriend ain't. Keepin' her safe, though, might keep him happy enough."

⠀⠀⠀"That's a whole lot of maybes," Michonne muttered.

⠀⠀⠀Merle stopped at a run-down house where a van sat in the driveway.

⠀⠀⠀"You gotta play the hand you're dealt. I only got one," Merle muttered and trekked up the driveway.

⠀⠀⠀Merle stood at the van's door and opened the rusted doors to look inside. He didn't seem happy with its condition, so he left it, ready to move on.

⠀⠀⠀"You talk about the weight of what you have to do, how you can handle it," Michonne said, staring up at Merle with a narrowed gaze. "A bad man, someone truly evil, they're light as a feather. They don't feel a thing."

⠀⠀⠀"I've killed sixteen men since all this went down," Merle told her, his entire being darkening. The claim didn't add to his air of mystery. He looked burdened by what he had done. He dismissed them, looking over his shoulder at the crowd of biters walking through the woods and then back at them. "Let's go."

AUTHOR'S NOTE —

I tried to write Clear but it's just too condensed for me to add Cal in a significant way without kicking out Michonne or another character. So, I decided to just go right into the end :/

Gonna do a double update today since I missed Wednesday and also I just want to rush to the end (of this book!) because that's just how I am. 

SONG: Dark Days by Local Natives

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like. However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.