Altering his appearance, physically and genetically, was the easiest decision McCoy had made since Jim died. It was a hair raising irking decision that most Humans would not find themselves doing. McCoy held several devices in his hands that were rounded. Scotty had supplied them to the doctor before departing from the solar system to the mission that may as well be a death wish. This was his fifth time coming in here for more survivors. There were plenty of them but the numbers were shrinking. He had been taking out ten at a time through a small device called a 'pokeball'. It deviated from a alien species that Scotty had become friends with from the five year mission. The children had gone second. The parents had insisted the children go first in the beginning but there were some adults that needed medical attention stat. Saavik, Valeris, and a handful of other Romulan/Vulcan children were on the list. The pokeballs were rounded small, dark objects that had a comfortable, warm inside.

Saavik, Saavik, Saavik.

He liked the little girl. He may have been seeing a little of Joanna in her too much. True, McCoy had his regrets. Ones he made in the past. Joanna was his little girl with hazel eyes and brown hair. Joanna was someone he loved dearly. Jocelyn agreed with McCoy that their little girl was the only good thing that came out of their union. She was working around to becoming a doctor while in nursing. Saavik had long curly hair with eyes that showed her innocence and the will to live. Joanna, as a little girl, had a hair style that was reminiscent of her father only with wild hair bangs. She had a boyish hair style these days with her bangs chopped off. Valeris had a short bob cut that clung to her skin. Most of the colonists were thin. Too thin. Shades of dirt covering their bodies. McCoy had many choices in his life but leaving the children here, every time, left with the ten occupied small energized balls? Those were the worst. Star Fleet hadn't bothered to liberate the colony. Not at all. They weren't considering it far as the doctor was concerned. Mallard was more concerned about McCoy coming back.

"T'Hinek," came a Romulan named Stuvok.

McCoy turned in the Romulans's direction.

"Yes?" McCoy said.

"I have some questions regarding the calibracy of eliminating the stained," Stuvok was a short Romulan with big ears. "from the shirt you gave me earlier. . ." Stuvok looked down stammering, as his cheeks turned a shade of green, and he rubbed the back of his neck. "I cannot seem to replicate your success."

McCoy relaxed.

"Ah," McCoy said. "Mr Stuvok, you have to use the DoveDryer chemicals."

"I am sorry but I prefer not using the laundry dispensary," Stuvok shook his hand.

"It's not laundry dispenser," McCoy said. "this gets rid of every dirt in the fiber of your shirt. Like the laundry dispenser, though, it does not leave the shirt stained or ripped," He paused. "You have been using the Ma'ca'Kalfree."

"Yes," Stuvok said. "my mother told me it cleaned everything."

"In a pigs eye, it does!" McCoy said. "tell me. What else has she told you?"

"That humans are not to be advised on joining explorations into the jungle for they litter and they are terrible campers when it comes to sacred ground," Stuvok said. "among other things." McCoy had become good at restraining how he insulted he was when speaking with these people, and he let it the emotion pass by nodding.

"I have heard of it, too," McCoy said. "and stories of some being forced to do nature service by cleaning the previous occupants mess up."

"That is quite beneficial," Stuvok said.

"Did you hear about those birds who make a unique nest?" McCoy said.

"No," Stuvok said.

"It takes seven years for the males to mature," McCoy said. "marrow, I believe, who choose bright colors. Sometimes, I have heard, the birds collect the smaller left overs and use it to their nest. They attack the clean up workers who try to clean up the mess. "

Stuvok laughed.

"Where did you hear that story?" Stuvok said.

"Back on Romulus," McCoy said. "or maybe it was when I went hiking on there with a squad of my childhood friends," McCoy looked off into the distance. Stuvok looked in the direction that McCy was gazing then turned his head toward the doctor. "back when thin's were more simpler."

"They are still simpler," Stuvok said.

"Not really," McCoy said. "doing what I do. . . They are just children."

"We all face that moral horizon," Stuvok said. "We are no different from the humans."

"True," McCoy said, softly.

"And second," Stuvok said. "we are merely here to ensure what is going on, continues, and log it accordingly."

Cold, calculated reply.

"You sound like a Vulcan when you say it that way," McCoy said.

"Some of us have to find ways to cope with what we see every day," Stuvok said. "The . . ." He briefly closed his eyes then reopened them. "We have made some mistakes to ensuring Star Fleet's weaking through time travel," his voice became small. "some of which we will never talk about," His eyes met the doctor's baby blue eyes. "not even strangers."

McCoy frowned.

"Are you calling me a Vulcan?" McCoy asked, as he bounced off the tips of his toes. "I was born on Romulus."

"My apologies, T'Hinek," Stuvok said.

McCoy smiled at first but the smile faded.

"I am not a scientist but I am just the head counter," McCoy said,and then he began to add bitterly. "or the mortician."

McCoy felt a hand placed on his slender shoulder.

"I love you," It sounded like Jim. "Bones." McCoy kept his composure.

"Where would you be if this wasn't around?" Stuvok asked.

"Serving the empire under Dion Charvanek," McCoy said. "or one of The Praetor's favorite starships." McCoy slightly waved his hand.

"Someone like you would be best serving planet side," Stuvok said.

"I don't deny that," McCoy said, with a bounce on his toes.

The cold touch on McCoy's shoulder lifted allowing him to relax in front of Stuvok.

"It is unfortunate that you were assigned here, T'Hinek," Stuvok said. "but I thank you for clarifying the type of dispenser that you have used."

McCoy barely gave a smile.

"Jolan tru, Mr Stuvok," McCoy said.

Stuvok nodded.

"Jolan tru," Stuvok said, then he went right past the doctor.

McCoy could feel Jim's lingering presence around him. His hand felt like it was being squeezed by a invincible force. McCoy sighed to himself. Then McCoy said, "Jim, I need ya not to touch me for the next hour." allowing himself to slip out his accent. It was difficult to restrain himself from speaking in his southern accent. His mother, Eleanor, would be heart broken to see her little boy this way. McCoy briefly closed his eyes taking a sigh collecting himself together then exhaled. The weight he was feeling and the tension regarding what lay ahead fell off his shoulders. McCoy made his way down the hall heading in the direction of where the colonists. He felt Jim's presence lingering around him. Jim was not going to like it. McCoy hadn't felt Jim's presence since he had arrived onto this planet. Jim hadn't seen what Sybok and McCoy had seen countless times. Over and over again. It would break someones spirit to see what hell McCoy and Sybok saw.

What Sybok had seen time and time again had yet to wear down on him. He was determined on helping others. Much like Spock was over doing his duties. The two men got their determination from Sarek, McCoy assumed, and their nature to raise the eyebrow must be genetic. The children viewed Sybok as a large, joyful Sehlat in the form of a human. A few of them still considered him a overgrown cat. The healer's spirit had not broken seeing a scenery of horrible catastrophic in terms of colonization being done wrong. McCoy came to a stop a few feet from the doors. He leaned against the wall feeling sick inside. He knelt down briefly attempting to recompose himself. It was going to be worth it. Worth it. It was worth saving lives. He looked down toward the small miniature balls in his hand. McCoy had a regiment that was imposed on him by the captain of the extinquishing-the-colonization-efforts. He had to see the numbers once per morning. The stench was horrid. McCoy stood up leaning his side against it. Romulan Doctors did not have to deal with this, the doctor assumed, because the captain was picking on him. He was a newbie with a medical tricorder in one hand as the previous doctor assigned to the facility faced a unpleasant ending by the hand of a unknown source.

McCoy straightened himself and then walked forward right in the direction of the doors.

The doors closed behind McCoy.

McCoy came out an hour afterwards holding nothing in his hands. He jotted down a note onto a small padd that he brought in on the pocket side of the uniform. He lowered the padd with a resolved expression on his face then walked away. A bad feeling sunk into McCoy's gut. McCoy did not feel the touch of the ghost. He slowly made his way down the hall hearing his heart beat against his chest. Sweat started to come down his skin. There were Romulans here and there parked near doorways looking at McCoy strangely. McCoy let the images of the colonists he had helped flash in his mind. Did they finally find out he was the reson why the colonists were missing? Logically, that had to be an answer. He was doomed. Romulans were considerably smart. McCoy trusted the Vulcan and Andorian. All the people he helped flashed in his mind. The truth was, he was likely doomed right as he stepped into the building for the fifth time. The Romulans had concluded their investigation. But why drag it for so long and not just have arrested him in the first place.

McCoy came into the morgue where on the slab of metal bed sat the captain.

The equivalent of a Fleet Captain, Commander Istak.

"Jolan tru, Doctor T'Hinek," Istak said, her green eyes flickering at the sight of the doctor. "or whoever you are . . . or your aliases are. . . You have been running around pretending to be a doctor too long."

McCoy was struck at the back where he collapsed to the floor landing onto his knees first and hands second.

"You will face the capital punishment," Istak got off the slab then approached the doctor. "it is a crime to impersonate being a physician."

"Goodbye, my...my t'hy'la. This is the last time I will permit myself to think of you or even your name again." That was Spock's voice coming from his mind.

No, he can't be too late.

He was too late.

McCoy had waited to long. McCoy felt pure horror. Spock, half alive, half dead like a zombie. No feelings what so ever. He lost one friend and he was about to lose another. Everything that he had done. . . He should have let his cover be blown earlier. He then felt conviction. What he had done was right and he was going to have saved lives if Sybok and Mallard escaped before the Romulans got to them. He didn't know if Vulcans had such things as gut feelings. He didn't know if they believed in following the heart. Vulcans struck McCoy as logic driven species even their woman.

"I'm a doctor, damn it, not a fraud," McCoy said, glaring back at Istak.

"Tell us your real name--or if you even have one," Istak lowered herself down to his level. "you will be a great example."

"Over my dead body," McCoy said.

"Fine," Istak said. "then we will have one on of our on site Klingon facilities to find out who you are." McCoy decided, it was time. He lowered his mental shields. Sorry, Spock, McCoy apologized, I did not expect to end it like this. Oh, and we are soulmates. Jim needed some help satisfying you through your first pon farr. And he raised the mental shields back up. "And where your accomplices lie."

McCoy was struck by what felt like a low setting phaser and he was out like that laid onto the floor.

Spock stopped T'Sai with his hand.

Doctor?, Spock called.

There was nothing.

Doctor, Spock called again, why did Jim not tell me?

Absolutely nothing.

Leonard?, Spock called back as he looked toward T'Sai.

There was no reply as the Vulcan lowered his hand while perplexed.

"Spock,your thoughts," T'Sai requested. "open them to me."

This link communication was concerning, and also, unsettling.

It made sense why he had been getting sudden feelings during his kolinahr training. Alien, mostly feelings that were heavy. It was sorrow. A kind of sorrow that came from seeing what no one would like. Spock determined that so because there were times the feelings made him want to cry, but he was in control of his emotions and his emotions were not in control of him. T'Sai placed her hand on the side of the man's face. They were coming from Leonard. Why did Jim not tell him this? It made sense why the bond was still there but. . . it was thin, delicate, like a tree sapling. T'Sai unlifted the mental barrier. Suddenly, there was a heavy force kareening and highly destructive as though someone was looking around, searching, without any mind meld training what so ever. There were thoughts that were not Spock's own, or who he had bonded himself to, that were more so of: who is this fraud, why come to hellguard, and what is their mission. The name sent chills down T'Sai's skin as she recognized the name. T'Sai dissolved the link, carefully, while raising Spock's mental barriers. There was no placement of the link in the Vulcan's mind but other than that, she could sense concern.

"Your answers lie elsewhere," T'Sai said. "it lies on Hellguard."

T'Sai dropped the necklace turning away from the hybrid as realization struck Spock like a Sehlat crashing upon him.

That is where his brother was.