I had some spare time so I left the Temple and went over to Padme's apartment. While I was outside I noticed the sun was setting. I walked inside and didn't see her. I sensed her on the verandah and, sure enough, she was watching the sunset from the balcony.

I came up behind her and grabbed her waist on either side. At the same time, I said, "Beautiful, isn't it?"

She squealed, pulled away from me and looked at me. "Oh, Annie it's you. You startled me," she said, coming back over to me. We hugged and she stroked my hair. We walked over to the bench, just inside the doors to the verandah.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her, holding her hand. With her other, she held her belly gently.

"He keeps kicking," she said, smiling.

"He?" I asked. "Why do you think it's a boy?" I asked her teasingly.

"My motherly intuition," she answered, smirking at me. She took my hand and placed it on her stomach. I felt a kick and smiled, sensing the baby inside her womb.

"Whoa! With a kick that strong, it's got to be a girl!" I said. We both laughed and it felt good after all the tension of the day.

"I heard about your appointment, Annie. I'm so proud of you," she said at last, looking at me.

I looked down. "I may be on the Council, but...they refused to accept me as a Jedi Master," I admitted to her.

"Patience. In time, they will recognize your skills."

I continued speaking, pretending I didn't hear what she'd just said. "They still treat me as if I was a Padawan learner." After a thought, I added, "They fear my power, that's the problem."

"Annie," she said, firm, but gentle.

"Sometimes I wonder what's happening to the Jedi Order. I think this war is destroying the principles of the Republic," I admitted honestly. I still couldn't believe what they'd asked me to do. It angered me a little, almost as much as all the distrust that was going on. Why didn't anyone see this war is the problem? Not the Council and not the Chancellor.

"Have you ever considered that we may be on the wrong side?" Padme asked hesitantly as if she didn't want me to give an answer, but yet did at the same time. I felt something in the Force...There was something she was trying to hide...something she didn't want me to know.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists and the Republic has become the very evil we've been fighting to destroy?" she asked me. Her voice sounded almost desperate for an answer from me...She wanted my opinion.

"I don't believe that. And you're sounding like a Separatist," I told her. I couldn't believe her. Where was all this coming from?

"Annie, this war represents a failure to listen. Now you're closer to the Chancellor than anyone. Please, ask him to stop the fighting and let the diplomacy resume," she pleaded.

How could she have asked me that? What had gotten into her? I stood up off the bench and walked away, turning my back to her. Everything went through my head then, all at once...Dooku's death, the Council asking me to spy on the Chancellor, Palpatine's distrust of the Jedi and then Padme saying all that foolishness.

"Don't ask me to do that!" I yelled. I glanced back at her and saw the hurt on her face. I calmed my voice and tried calling to the Force to calm the anger that threatened to show, but it only helped a little. "Make a motion in the Senate where that kind of a request belongs," I said, tensely.

"What is it?" she asked me suddenly.

"Nothing," I told her, looking away. "Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose," Yoda had said. His words rang in my ears.

"Don't do this," Padme begged. "Don't shut me out, let me help you," she said.

I didn't answer her, but I did glance at her. Let go of Padme? How could I? I loved her, she was my world! Without her....I had nothing.

"Hold me," she said, walking closer to me. "Like you did on the lake on Naboo. So long ago when there was nothing but our love. No politics, no plotting..." She paused and then added, "no war."

I took her into my arms and suddenly, I longed for those days back on Naboo. When there was only her and I. Nothing else to worry about, but what we had together.

But you don't. You're not there anymore, you're here. This is reality now. There's nothing you can do to change that.

Could I change what future lie ahead? I didn't sense a bright one, pain...death...Even if I could stop her death somehow, once the Council found out about the baby, I would be expelled and then what?

A hollow ache filled my chest then. Either way, my future ahead lie empty. Nothing...

I sighed into her hair and took in the moment. I didn't know how many more of these we would have.

That night, I received word that the Chancellor wanted to see me. He was at the opera house, waiting for me. I kissed Padme and left. I arrived at the opera house shortly after. It was nighttime and anyone you could possibly imagine was there at the opera house. I sensed where the Chancellor's box would be. I figured they would give him a good view of the Man Calamari Ballet doing "Squid Lake."

When I arrived at Palpatine's box, I noticed he was sitting with Mas Amedda and Sly-Moore. Palpatine was sitting on the far right side, just in front of the balcony part of his box. I walked down the short hallway to come up just beside his right.

"You wanted to see me, Chancellor?" I asked, bending down.

"Yes, come closer! I have good news," he said. I looked at him, anticipating the news he had for me. After the day I'd had, I needed something good finally happening. I tried to use the Force to block the negative feelings, but I couldn't help my anxiety. At least I wasn't as angry as I had been. I was thankful to feel the Force inside me.

"Our Clone Intelligence Units have discovered the location of General Grievous. He's hiding in the Utapau system," the Chancellor said.

"At last," I said, excited, "we'll be able to capture that monster and put an end to this war."

"I would worry about the collective wisdom of the Council if they didn't select you for this assignment. You are the best choice by far, but they can't always be trusted to do the right thing," Palpatine said.

I was irritated that he mentioned the distrust again and that he didn't think the Council could do the right thing. No matter how aggravated I was at the Council and no matter how ridiculous I thought some of their decisions were, they always did the right thing.

Didn't they? Asking me to spy on the Chancellor went against the Jedi Code. That decision wasn't the right thing, so did the Chancellor have a point? What if they couldn't always be trusted to do the right thing?

"They try," I concluded at last, out loud. However, I had done something against the Jedi Code, something far, far worse than they could've imagined. I'm here, Mom. Everything...

Kill him! Do it, now!

"Sit down," Palpatine said, interrupting my thoughts. He told the others to leave us and they did. I took a seat on the other side of him, staring out at the opera, not really paying any attention.

"You know I am not able to rely on the Jedi Council. If they haven't included you in their plot, they soon will," he said.

What plot? What was he talking about? I tried to sense anything, where this had come from, but I couldn't feel anything through all my irritation and anger. I was irritated with all the distrust, with both the Jedi Council and the Chancellor. I was angry because I had done something not just once, but twice against the Jedi Code. I was angry because Padme's life was in danger and I had no idea what I was going to do. The advice I had been given so far hadn't been very helpful. I was angry because the Council had asked me to spy on the Chancellor...to do yet something else against the Jedi Code and put more on my conscious....How could I?

"I'm not sure I understand," I told him honestly. That statement summed up my thoughts on more than just what Palpatine had said.

"You must sense what I have come to suspect...the Jedi Council want control of the Republic...they're planning to betray me," he said.

They wanted me to spy on him; that was hardly anything as bad as the Chancellor was saying. It was bad, yes, but not that bad. They didn't want control, just more information.

"I don't think....." I tried.

"Search your feelings. You know, don't you?" he asked, looking at me.

"I know they don't trust you," I answered honestly. Or, as honest as I could. I couldn't betray the Council by telling him of what they'd asked of me, but I couldn't betray him by spying on him. I searched my feelings and I knew that there was something wrong with the Council's request and I wasn't as sure about them as I had been in the past, but...

"Or the Senate...or the Republic, or democracy for that matter," the Chancellor finished for me.

"I have to admit, my trust in them has been shaken," I said, choosing my words carefully.

"Why? They asked you to do something that made you feel dishonest, didn't they?" he asked.

I couldn't say anything. I just looked down.

"They asked you to spy on me, didn't they?" he asked.

I wanted to look at him in shock. How had he figured it out so soon? "I don't uh, I don't know what to say," I admitted.

"Remember back to your early teachings. All those who gain power are afraid to lose it. Even the Jedi," he said.

"The Jedi use their power for good," I said without hesitation.

"Good is a point of view. And the Jedi point of view is not the only valid one. The Dark Lords of the Sith believe in security and justice also, yet they are considered by the Jedi to be-"

I cut him off, again not hesitating. "Evil."

"From a Jedi's point of view. The Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way, including their quest for greater power. The difference between the two is the Sith are not afraid of the dark side of the Force. That is why they are more powerful," he said, staring.

"The Sith rely on their passion for their strength. They think inward, only about themselves," I said.

"And the Jedi don't?" he asked, looking at me. I didn't like the look he was getting.

"The Jedi are selfless...they only care about others," I instantly replied. I couldn't help the guilt that formed inside me while hearing and talking about that. It seemed like a betrayal somehow.

"Or so you've been trained to believe. Why is it then, that they have asked you to do something you feel is wrong?" he asked me.

"I'm not sure it's wrong," I said more to myself than anyone else. Killing Dooku was wrong...against the Code. Guilt took a hold of me again and I couldn't rid myself of that feeling. I suddenly wished I could tell Obi-Wan about Dooku. I knew it would help to hear his voice, his reassurances about the Jedi and his reassurances about me.

"Have they asked you to betray the Jedi Code? The Constitution? A friendship? Your values? Think. Consider their motives. Keep your mind clear of assumptions. The fear of losing power is a weakness of both the Jedi and the Sith."

I couldn't answer. I was too deep in thought. My mind was swimming and I was so confused. What had the Council wanted when they wanted me to spy on the Chancellor? Had they had other motives? They just needed more information...didn't they? That's an assumption, something whispered in my mind.

Fear is a path to the dark side, another voice whispered. Fear of losing power...A Sith trait....The Jedi couldn't have fear of anything or they would start down the dark path. Fear of losing power is still a fear.

"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis 'the Wise'?" Palpatine asked me, pulling me out of my jumbled mess of thoughts.

"No," I answered him. I wanted to confide in Obi-Wan to see what he would say about all this. Ending this war was the most important goal and yet, no one could see that. My fear of losing Padme wasn't the right thing I was supposed to be feeling, but how could I not be afraid? I suddenly saw the dying image of her from my dream and I couldn't help but shudder.

The Jedi Code. No, I could never tell Obi-Wan any of this. I was alone in this, to figure everything out for myself. Nothing could help. I focused hard on what the Chancellor was saying to get me out of my thoughts.

"I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create life...He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about.......from dying."

My mind froze instantly and I looked at him, surprise clear in my features. "He could actually....save people from death..?" I asked.

"The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be...unnatural," Palpatine said. His voice was deep and filled with finality.

"What happened to him?" I asked, having to force my voice to work. Save people from death! That's how I could save Padme. If I could learn how to use the Force to do that...Padme would be saved and everything else could be worried about later.

As long as she was with me. Nothing else mattered...The Council, Palpatine, and Dooku, my guilt or anger...Obi-Wan, none of it but her. Everything else would have to come later.

I instantly knew I would do anything to save her. Anything.

"He became so powerful," Palpatine continued about the Sith legend, "the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, and then his apprentice killed him in his sleep."

He paused, staring out in space, getting a faraway look in his eye. "It's ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself," Palpatine continued at last.

"Is it possible to learn this power?" I asked before I could hesitate.

"Not from a Jedi," he answered.

I didn't remember my thoughts after that, not until I think back on it right now. I remember thinking that it didn't matter if no Jedi knew how to do that, use the Force like that. I knew I would learn how and I would save Padme from death. I would do anything to save her and I was determined to do anything to learn how to do what it took to save her.

And I just now remember my last thought walking out of there: Anything it takes.