Luke returned to the med center a few hours later and checked in with the med tech station. "How is Master Fau doing?"

Budi had cycled off her shift, and Nibol was now head tech on duty. She looked at the chart and vid feed before replying. "She's due for another course of sedation, but vitals are normal."

"Thank you, but no more sedation. I'll handle her if something happens. The sedation drugs are tough on the Force-sensitive."

"How will we reach you if something happens?"

"I'll probably know something's wrong before you do, but here's my comm link frequency." Luke punched in his number to the information kiosk on the desk. "I'll wait around until she's fully awake."

"As you wish, Master Skywalker."

Luke sat beside the still form of his wife as the sedation drugs wore off.

She mumbled a few words. A smile crossed her face. Even her hands stroked the sheets. "Hope." She kissed the air in her dream. "Hope, my sweet Ho—"

Her arms thrashed. She screamed. "Hope! No! You can't have her! Hooooooppppee!" She dissolved into a wail as her eyes popped open.

He reached out through their Force-bond and calmed her, squelching her panic. "It's just a dream, 'Luma. Just a dream."

She shook her head. "He killed her. He crushed her, Luke."

"Who?"

"Ben."

He rubbed her hand with his thumb. "That wasn't Ben in your nightmare. Ben didn't do this. He couldn't have. You must be mistaken."

He sent his love to her through the bond. He breathed a sigh of relief when she  reached back, pulling his energy from him, building her foundation of peace again. He slid his chair toward her and reached an arm around her shoulders.

She pushed him back, not just with her arm but with the Force. It was Ben.

"Sh. It was an accident. This never would have happened if you hadn't been sparring."

"You're blaming me for this? He's filled with evil. He's poisoning the Padawan with his vile thoughts. And now he's murdered our daughter." Her stony eyes glared at him.

"You're upset. I'm sure you'll see this differently when you're better. There's good in him. I've felt it."

"Get out."

"'Luma."

"Go meditate and see what the Force has to say. Your precious nephew of your precious sister killed our daughter. And it wasn't an accident." She stared at him. "Get out."

I love you, Naluma. I wish ... Luke trailed off.

Then believe me. It's either him or me. Make up your mind.

Luke stopped at the door and turned to her. "He's entitled to an investigation at least."

"Then do it. Don't come back until you know the truth."

"'Luma, I'm not leaving the station while you're here."

"Use the Force." She eyed him. "Or are you afraid of the truth?"

He opened his mouth but left without another word. I love you.

Her tongue wanted to reply the usual Love you more, but her grieving heart wouldn't let her.

A couple of days later, Naluma awoke feeling no emotional pain. Except for the continual hemorrhaging and internal tenderness, she could have almost believed the assault had never happened. It was odd. The emotional pain that had been so blinding for the last few days had just disappeared.

She stared at the white walls that seemed to press in on her. She longed to smell the kedari trees of Khalkha. She could almost smell them. When she inhaled a deep breath, she groaned when she only smelled the sanitizers that permeated this place.

Later that morning, Dr. Joloah looked in during his rounds, checking on Naluma's progress. The squat alien asked with his muddy accent, "Master Fau, how are you feeling today?"

"I feel nothing," Naluma said emotionless. "And I should, shouldn't I?"

Dr. Joloah checked her chart. "I think the pain meds are doing their job for once."

"No, I'm not talking physically. Trust me, that pain is still there. I just can't feel anything emotionally."

"That's normal." He patted her hand in comfort. "You're grieving, Master Fau. You've lost a child, and that's never easy. You'll have days of pain, days of nothingness, even days of guilt—not to mention the mood swings. It's part-and-parcel of a miscarriage. Just take it one day at a time." 

Dr. Joloah gripped her hand in support. "If you want, I can have a counselor come by today."

Naluma considered the offer before replying. "No, that's okay. But could you send for my husband?"

Dr. Joloah smiled. "Of course. I'll contact him in a few minutes. Until then, relax."

She rested back in the med center bed as Dr. Joloah adjusted a few devices and exited the room.

She waited over an hour for Luke, wondering if he would ever return or if their marriage was over. She was afraid to initiate mindspeech with him, not knowing where their relationship stood.

When Luke arrived at the med center, he hesitated at her door, fearing rejection once more. While he had waited on the shuttle for any word, the darkness had pressed in, urging him to quit, to disband the Order. But now, standing outside her room, hope returned.

"Naluma, may I come in?"

She smiled at him softly with relief. "Yes." She held her hand out to him.  "Forgive me, Luke."

"Nothing to forgive, my love." He took her hand.

"Hold me," she begged.

He sat on the edge of the bed and held her as they both mourned together, a strong wave of grief overflowing them.

Luke continued to visit Naluma when she would have him. Some days she had to mourn in private. Other days she welcomed his comfort.

He yearned for those days, for only then was the darkness truly banished. It took almost losing her for him to realize what she meant to him.

The grief combined with the postpartum depression was horrible, and Luke had no idea how to help her. It pained him to see her this way—and it pained him even more on the days she pushed him away.

On the eighth day of Naluma's hospitalization, Luke stopped in early in the morning, hoping for acceptance. She hadn't let him in for the last two days. "How are you doing?" he asked from the doorway.

She nodded for him to enter. "You know me—getting cabin fever being cooped up in here." She scooted over in her bed to make room for him.

He nodded in agreement, but there was nothing either of them could do about it. "As soon as we get back home, it will be better."

Naluma whimpered as he sat on the edge of her bed, facing her.

Luke bit his lip, and then he looked at his hands in shame. "Naluma ... I know I've been putting a lot of pressure on you about a family. I'm sorry." He looked her in the eyes. "Is this something you even want?"

She stared beyond him at the wall for many moments. "Yes, Luke, I do. Now more than ever." She grabbed his hand and looked him in the eye. "But, Luke, changes need to be made."

"Yeah, as soon as you're pregnant again, no sparring for you." He grabbed her arm lightly for emphasis.

She pulled away from his touch. "Luke, you don't understand. It's not just this miscarriage. It's our marriage." Her eyes revealed the truth he did not want to acknowledge. "I knew you better the ten years before our marriage than I know you now."

"That's not true, Nalu—"

"And don't tell me it's my hormones. I'm only saying what I should have said months ago. My hormones are only giving me the courage to say it."

He stared at her, his mouth gaping.

"Luke, we've drifted apart. You can't deny that."

He averted his gaze to his lap in shame. "I know."

"We hardly ever have time together. In the last six months, I've seen you ... what ... four times—usually only for a day and never longer than three days in a row. It's a wonder I conceived at all."

"Naluma, when we married, we knew our lives would revolve around the Jedi Order and not the other way around. When the galaxy is falling apart, it's our job to put it back together." Luke grabbed her hand again. "We don't have a choice."

"There is always a choice." She jerked her hand from his. They sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking over their problems.

Eventually, she said, "Luke, when we were the only two Jedi, we didn't have as many missions. We sat around for weeks at a time between them. Now, we're keeping twenty knights and two masters on missions year-round. Is it possible some of these missions don't require Jedi assistance?"

"Perhaps," he said with a slight nod. "I'm not sure how we could tell the difference, though."

"Use the Force, Luke," Naluma said, out of patience.

"Be serious."

"I am. The Force is supposed to be guiding us. Well then, let it guide us and not the Senate," she spat. She turned her back to him, refusing to speak to him anymore.

"Naluma ..."

"Just go away."

"Fine." Luke stalked out of the room.

Before Luke reached the shuttle, he turned around and returned to the med center at a quick pace.

A med tech met him at the door to the med chamber. "I'm sorry. Master Fau has requested no visitors right now."

Luke weighed his options, including Force-choking the tech and barging right in. He settled with mindspeech.

Naluma, you can lock me out of this room. You can prevent me from seeing you, but you cannot remove our Force-bond. Father was right. We can't let the darkness pull us apart. I will fight for  us, Naluma. I love you, and my life is worthless without you.

The med tech stared at Luke outside the door, his mouth dropping when the hatch opened of its own accord.

"Come."

"I will do whatever it takes to make this right. I'm sorry."

Their Force-bond flared as forgiveness moved through it. Luke held her, kissing her forehead.

Naluma, I can't live without you.

She remained in the med center for another week, receiving blood infusions daily until her body had healed. During this time, she experienced both good days and bad days.

On her last day in the med center, Luke came by as usual. He hesitated at the door after knocking.

Naluma answered in weariness, "Come in."

Luke scanned her with the Force, determining whether it was a good day or a bad day with her. While not entirely cheerful, at least she was not depressed today. He kissed her on the forehead and sat beside her on the bed.

She forced a smile , attempting to enjoy his companionship.

He returned it with his warm, infectious smile. "Good news. They're releasing you tomorrow."

Naluma gave a half-smile before returning to indifference.

"It will be good to be back to normal, back home."

"I don't think I can do this, Luke," she said with fear, on the verge of tears again. "I'm not ready for duties, yet."

"You don't have to be." He embraced her, his chin resting on her head. He stroked her back to calm her. "You're on medical leave until further notice."

"But when you leave again, I will have to be." She pulled away from his embrace. "You've been gone for two weeks already. It won't be long until the Senate has a pressing matter that only Grand Jedi Master Luke Skywalker can handle for them."

He remained silent. He knew she was speaking truth. Something would pull him away. He held her hand, massaging it to let her feel his care for her.

"Luke, I can't handle Ben anymore." Her voice cracked.

"Accidents happen, Naluma."

"Oh, you don't understand. Just keep Ben away from me."

"I want to understand. Tell me what's bothering you."

"You won't believe me if I tell you."

"Please, tell me. I want to know."

"Ben did this," she said through clenched teeth, trying not to cry.

Luke pulled his hands from her and rested them on his hips. "That's a pretty strong accusation. Do you have any proof?"

"Since when is a Jedi Master's word questioned? No, I don't have any physical proof. Just my instincts and what I felt." She glared at him and then turned away, crossing her arms. "I knew you wouldn't believe me."

"It was an accident. You probably shouldn't have been sparring anyway." Luke wrapped his arm around her shoulder, but she did not turn back to him. "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"

Naluma pushed him off of her, staring at him blankly. With an edge in her voice, she said, "I tried. That day you left, but you pushed me away. And maybe I was waiting for you to finally look at me like the way you look at just about everyone else in the universe—I mean really look at me and notice. You perceived when Leia was pregnant within seconds, and you were thousands of light years away. But, no, for two full days you didn't even realize my Force-signature was different, let alone my nausea. Luke, even when we were intimate, your mind was far away on other things. I just wish ..."

Luke waited a few seconds and then asked, "Wish what?"

"That I was as important to you as the rest of the galaxy is."

Luke sat in silence, stung by her words. He took a deep breath. "You are more important to me than anything else—including the Republic, including the Order. I love you, Naluma. It hurts me to see you this way, and I wish I could do something to help you."

"Start by taking me seriously then." She turned her head away from him, allowing the tears to flow down her face.

During the two-hour flight back to Khalkha, uneasy silence filled the cockpit. Each time Luke tried to start a conversation with Naluma, she turned her head and feigned sleep. Eventually, he gave up, hurt and annoyed.

When they arrived at the academy, Kalder and Kallay boarded the shuttle to assist with disembarkation. "Masters, it's good to see you," Kallay said.

As he put the shuttle into shut-down mode, Luke said, "You, too. Can you grab my kit bag on the way out? It's in the main cabin."

Naluma took advantage of Luke's distraction to stand up on her own. She cheated with the Force. Then she wobbled and collapsed into the seat.

Kallay detected her  struggle. "Master Naluma, take it easy. Don't push yourself."

Luke moved quickly to her. "Easy now, Naluma. You know what the doctor said—you're to stay off your feet for the next few days." He lifted her up in his arms and exited the shuttle.

Put me down, Luke. Put me down.

No. You wanted my attention? Well, now you have it.

Naluma struggled some more.

Stop it. If I have to pull rank on you, Master Fau, I will.

She stopped struggling.

I love you, Naluma. Remember that, please.

Naluma was silent.

We will get through this together ... with the Force as our ally.

She relaxed in his arms, whether because she was finally trusting him or because she felt defeated, Luke could not tell. As Luke carried her down the path to the lodge, he projected every ounce of love within himself, forcing past her shields.

By the time they had reached the lodge, Naluma responded, I'm sorry, Luke. I'm sorry I doubted you.

It's okay. Just don't forget how much stronger we are when we're working together and not fighting against each other. I want to help you, Naluma, but I don't know how. I need you to show me.

Your love is the only thing keeping me stable right now, Luke. Naluma rubbed her nose, wiping away an errant tear. Just love me.

I never stopped, and I never will.

Did you know . . . 

● For weeks, I researched the effects of a miscarriage before I wrote one word of this sequence. It gave me great insight for when a friend of mine lost her child at eight months gestation a few months later. The grief is real. It can last for years.

● There are two contrasts in relationships here. Han and Leia's marriage contrasts with the New Republic, but it also contrasts with Luke and Naluma's. At this point, Han and Leia would have split. But with the Force, Luke and Naluma are willing to work on their marriage. Every marriage has its problems. That's life. Two people coming together as one. What it really comes down to is one of the couple being willing to sacrifice their own desires to make the other one happy. 

Tell me what you think . . .

● When Naluma was struggling earlier in the book, Luke had specifically emphasized trusting the Force to guide them in all decisions. How did he stray so far from that policy?