And here we are again.

What kind of personal stuff am I gonna share with you this time??

How about I tell you why I'm such a coldhearted person???

Yeah!

{I'll save the story about me hanging my dolls by their necks for another time......... I was a weird kid, okay??}

Anyways,

Let me share with you kids about a story of a girl in third grade...

Since I don't really like telling stories in third person, let's skip on over to first person.

I was in third grade,

A short, little, glasses-wearing munchkin.

Of course, being the person I was/am.... I had a hard time making friends.

So I was usually by myself for most the time, doing my own thing.

It was pretty nice.... well... up and til the teachers were getting concerned as to why I walked alone during recess...

At that time, I decided to go stake out some friends..

Well, turns out I was successful!

I met two.

Named---

{well... for the sake of what I'm about to say about them... I'd rather not say their names.....}

{SIKE! Their names were Haley and Mary}

So we became friends and all....

I was hanging out with them a lot...

And I was happy too!

People that actually wanted to be my friends and keep me company!

With all the trouble I had making friends.... I couldn't believe I had made two!

I wasn't going to be lonely anymore!

.... It took me a while to realize that they were doing it out of pity...

One day,

I finish with my extra-credit math class thing...

And I walk out to recess where Haley and Mary were.

As I walked up to them, I failed to notice them exchange glances.

"Hey guys! Guess wh-" I had started to say excitedly.

"Hey... um... Madison.. we.. uh... need to tell you something..." Haley interjected, nudging Mary's side.

"Yeah! Um... my mom says we can't hang around with you anymore because she thinks you're weird!"

And with that, a piece of me shattered.

Also, warning sirens started to go off in my head that something was up... but I ignored them.

I tried not to let them realize that I felt bad.

"Oh... well... okay then!" I skipped away as they turned their backs.

But over my shoulder, I saw them giggling as if nothing happened.

I walked over to the swings, and with a smile plastered on my face and tears rolling down my cheeks... I was alone once more...

Of course, I started bawling when I got home....With my mom keeping me company...

She also thought something was fishy too.

For one, I didn't even meet Mary's mom,

And two, when my mom called Mary's mom, she said that she never said such a thing....

They both lied to me.

The only friends I had....

Lied to me....

Only because they didn't want to be my friend any more...

It took me a while to think of why...

Was I annoying...?

Was I....

Annoying...?

That must of been the only explanation...

Why else would they lie to my face....

So.... I was annoying them....

That one third wheel....

It became harder for me to make friends that year...

I couldn't help but feel as if I was annoying everyone I talked to...

And so.... I didn't make any new friends until the next year...

Where I met some of my best friends....

How does this tie into me being coldhearted?

I simply don't like to socialize just for that above reason alone...

That I'll annoy anyone I talk to...

I don't like to initiate conversations, I don't usually like texting...

Only because I feel like I'm nothing but annoying...

I cringe at myself if someone doesn't reply, I start to analyze to see if I did something wrong...

I don't talk up much...

I quickly have to shut myself up when talking about something I like... because I can get a little over zealous.... and I'll start to bore people...

I'll start to feel annoying...

A burden to others, If you will.

Yeah...

I know, a stupid story.... and stupid reason...

But hey...

That's all I got...

Well...

That wraps up my super-personal 199th chapter....

Well...

I do have time for one more story...

So a little bit ago,

My mother was telling me about my childhood in Alaska.

Well...

I loved to play with baby dolls...

I was a great mom until I put my hand over my baby's mouth to shut it up...

And I was a great mom until my mom found my doll hanging from the curtains, the fabric tied around it's neck.

I was a weird kid...

So...

I'll have the new rant book up soon.

Say hello to Blizzards and Brilliance!

Bye bye Brudunskies

Peace.