So.

I'm reading my old books..

And I look upon my first ever face reveal.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHH

M
M

M

WHHHYYYYY

WHY DID I EVER THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA???!?!

Oh my freakin goodness.....

I looked so ugly in that picture!

That was the autumn of 2015, Brudunskies

Ugggggghhh!!!

And I swear if you try to even find that picture buried in the pages of my old books,

I will backhand you into the sun

We clear?

Anyways,

That's beside the point.

...

We need to talk...

|The Motivation ....rant?|

Motivation...

Something I've kinda been lacking recently.

Something I'd never thought I'd lose...

But first...

Let me tell you something.

This account..

Is old.

In fact....

In about a month and a half, I'll be dawning onto my second year,...

It's so.... crazy to believe that I've been writing on this app for about two years...

And what's even crazier...

I did this purely for fun!

I..

I remember the afternoons and evenings...

When I would update

"The War"

And my other silly books.

I remember... being excited to update... excited to share my story with the world..

I didn't even care about how many views I got.

I was having fun...

And

It made me happy...

Fast forward to now.

600 Brudunskies strong. Most popular book has close to 100K reads.

... Not gonna lie, I'm starting to lose my spark... my joy for writing...

Burnout.

Is what it's called.

Now ...

Well....

Back then,

I didn't care how much quality and wholesomeness went into my books...

(Wait that sounds bad....)

I mean, I didn't try to hard and put a lot of effort into those books.

I wrote them the way I wanted to!

But now...

Well...

Now I have people that read my books...

That expect true quality... that know that I can do better than this... that I can write better....

And with that...

Comes pressure...

Not exactly from you Brudunskies yourselves....

But from me

I'm terrified.

I'm absolutely terrified that I'll never write good enough for y'all.

I know I can do better

I know my best isn't good enough!

I try.

And

I try so hard...

I push myself...

I push myself to write...

To not let you guys down...

That's the true reason why I've lacked motivation.

That's the true reason why I've not been updating BoaF or Zanemau...

And the reason why Jack of All Trades is still in planning.

And I say this...

Because I'm not updating a chapter for BoaF this weekend.

*sigh*

End of rant....

That should be all..

But anyways,

Y'all have a nice evening/morning/afternoon

Bye bye

Brudunskies

Peace.

(I'm sorry if this rant sounded too whiny. We both know that these rants barely ever get my point across lol)