"Are you sure he looked worried? Maybe he was just fantasizing about kissing you." Belle suggests and I shoot her a deadpan look.

"Does a guy that wants to kiss a girl look like this?" I demonstrate Cayden's expression to Belle. I wrinkle my forehead and pull together my eyebrows. I pout a little bit to copy his luscious lips (Damn you, Cayden) and shoot her a wide-eyed look.

"No. That looks like a guy who hasn't pooped in three days." Belle bursts out laughing and I join her.

"You should've told me this sooner." Belle complains after we control our laughter.

And she was right. I should've told her what happened immediately after she reached the house but nope. I waited until my shift got over the next day to tell her what happened. As soon as I mentioned Cayden, she threw a couple of lame excuses at the guys and pulled me out of the house.

And now, here we are, roaming aimlessly on the streets analyzing my love life.

"I know but I never get to see just you. It always Belle and Jason. It's never only Belle."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I've been struggling with that too." Belle says focusing on the footpath instead of my face.

"You have?" I ask her, hoping that she'll finally fill me in on what's going on with Jason and her.

Belle lets out a deep sigh before continuing, "Do you remember that day when Jason and I had that weird moment during lunch?"

I nod in response, encouraging her to carry on.

"Well, the night before, I suggested to Jason that we take a small break just to be each other and not together."

"I didn't know you wanted that." I ask her, genuinely surprised. Belle and Jason were crazy about each other. I couldn't see them breaking up at all.

"I didn't know either but I want to be me, Shae." Belle exaggerates with her hands, "Just me!"

"So you and Jason are breaking up?"

"No!" She answers vehemently. "I love Jason. I don't want to leave him but just for a little while, I don't want to be with him either. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No! Thinking about yourself will never make you a bad person. Unless you think about yourself a lot. Anyway, how does Jason feel about this?" Jason would never agree to a break. He had the philosophy that if you find something good, you keep it forever. Not a bad philosophy, actually. It's better than mine which is just- Any day is Pizza day.

"He completely flipped out. He took me on this grand romantic date after that weird lunch. It was really sweet and I could see how hard he worked for it. So, I just pretended that everything was fine again and that I wasn't feeling the way I am feeling."

"Belle," I stop her and grip her shoulders tightly, "Are you unhappy with Jason?"

Belle gives me a sad smile. "I'm the happiest when I'm with him." She says dreamily before hastily adding, "Uh, no offense."

"I already took all of the offense. None of it is left in this world now."

"Oh come on! When you fall in love, you'll know."

"Okay, I'm sensing a topic change so I have to ask this before the moment's lost. Why do you want a break from Jason?"

"I don't want a break from Jason! I just want a break from our relationship. Shae, think about it. Ever since ninth grade, I have been in this relationship with Jason. It's three years later and I have no clue who I am without Jason. Every part of me is fused to him. I even share my best friend with him!" She throws her hands around, exasperated.

"It's okay. Just let it all out." I envelop Belle in a huge hug.

"I'm not even crying." She grumbles against my shoulders before hugging me even more tightly.

"Do you want to get some ice cream?" I ask Belle as we pull apart from our hug.

"I thought you'll never ask."

----------

"Guess who's awesome and got ice cream for everyone?" Belle shouts as we enter the kitchen through the backdoor and I shoot her a confused look.

All the guys run into the kitchen, barely managing to not slip on their own drool.

"It's not us!" Belle continues in a sing-song tune and is immediately met with a string of curses.

"Hey, babe." Jason walks over to Belle and plants a kiss on her lips. If I hadn't just heard about Belle's dilemma, I would've never guessed that anything was wrong.

"Hey, babe." Filip tries to copy Jason and plant a kiss on me but I burst out laughing, spraying him with my spit and effectively, killing the mood. 

"Wow, I love when this happens." Filip deadpans as he wipes my spit off his face using his sleeve.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it but it's good to know that at least someone wants to kiss me." I direct the last part at Cayden who immediately looks guilty. I hear Belle cover up her laugh with a violent cough and Jason immediately directs her to the kitchen stool and hands her a glass of water.

"Why wouldn't someone want to kiss you, eh?" Filip asks, playing with my hair. I swat his hand away and he laughs.

"Well, maybe because I'm too uptight." Belle chokes on her water and I glance at Cayden to gauge his reaction. The look of guilt on his face is mixed with a little bit of anger.

What is he angry at? I didn't reject him. He rejected me. Kind of.

"I don't think you're uptight. Stupid, yes. A terrible person for lying about ice cream, yes but not uptight." Creed jumps into the conversation and seats himself on the kitchen counter.

"I don't think you're uptight. I just think that maybe you can loosen up." Cayden says, stressing on the 'loosen up' part.

Now that I think about it, Cayden never really did call me uptight me but what kind of people do you ask to loosen up?

The uptight kind, that's who.

"Well.." Filip trails off and I whip back to look at him.

Please don't agree with him. Please don't agree with him. Please don't-

"I agree." Creed provides his valuable input, "You have really high standards when it comes to guys. You're going to die alone with fifty cats if you continue like this."

"I would honestly prefer that to this conversation." I say but everyone ignores me.

"I don't think Shae has high standards. She doesn't want to waste her time dating morons, right Shae?" Jason chips in and I cheer internally at my new ally.

"Absolutely right." I beam at him and he smiles back. Jason always has my back.

"Wait a minute. You haven't dated anyone till now?" Filip looks shocked as he asks me this. I can already feel my face burning up. Belle is shooting me an apologetic look but Jason and Creed are already bored with this conversation. I look at Cayden who's looking back at me, his expression mirroring that of Filip. 

Is it that hard to be seventeen years old and not have dated anyone? I did that without breaking a sweat.

"Um, no."

"Oh, my poor sweet pie!" Filip hugs me tightly and I struggle to breathe.

"What the hell is poor sweet pie?" I gasp out against his chest but he continues holding tight.

When he finally lets go, I take a couple of deep breaths and find myself staring at the amused expressions on everyone's face except Cayden. He looks like he feels even worse now. His eyes are soft and his lips are slightly turned down. I don't want to feel pity from Cayden. 

"What's the big deal? It's only dating." I defend myself and I'm not wrong. It definitely isn't the end of the world.

"Shae, you're smoking hot. How have you not left a trail of guys behind you?" I blush at Filip's compliment even though I don't want to. Filip is a notorious flirt and if I took every compliment of his to mind, I'd have an ego the size of the sun.

"Told ya. High standards. It's going to be the death of her."

"Okay, alright! It's enough talk about Shae's love life. Let's all get back to their own work. Leave poor Shae alone." Belle shoos out everyone and I offer her a thankful smile.

"Uh, Shae, Can I talk to you?" Cayden asks me and pulls me by my hand before I answer.

"Yes, Cayden. I'm so glad you waited for my answer." I snap at Cayden as he pulls me into the gym and closes the door behind us.

"I am so sorry. If I had known that you haven't dated anyone yet, I would have never suggested Jack. He doesn't deserve to be anyone's first. Not a first date, a boyfriend or a kiss. I feel like an absolute ass."

"You are an absolute ass." I cross my arms against my chest.

"So we're cool?"

"In what universe is 'you are an absolute ass' a substitute for I forgive you?" I try to walk away but Cayden catches hold of my hand and pulls me towards him.

"Why are you still mad? I apologized too. What more can I do?" He seemed angry now but then again, so was I.

"I'm mad because you couldn't even hide the disgust on your face when we were talking about you kissing me. Am I that disgusting to you, Cayden? Am I that repulsive? You could have at least tried to keep a cool face but no. You had to be as transparent as glass." I could see the shock on Cayden's face along with his loosening grip on my wrist. I snag my hand from his and storm out of the room.

He doesn't call after me nor does he follows me. He doesn't even try to assure me that my crazy thoughts weren't true.

Even I realize that I'm fixating on the most negative scenario but that's what my mind keeps running back to. I was falling deeper and deeper into Cayden and I'm glad that this whole incident happened before I fell in too deep.

He didn't have to say anything for me to realize that he feels genuine worry when he thinks about kissing me. He didn't have to say anything for me to realize that he will never reciprocate my feelings.

His silence was loud enough to shatter my heart.

A/N: What are your thoughts on this chapter?