izuku's pov

i sat outside of the doctor's office fiddling my fingers nervously, the tension in the air thickening by the passing second. my mom was in there, talking about what would happen of my future and health. i sighed and gritted my teeth. none of this would've happened if i had been more careful.

-

my eyes flew open as i awoke to a loud growling noise. i tried my absolute best to ignore the immense pain gradually growing in my stomach, and ended up rolling off the bed in the process, which resulted in a loud thud.

"izuku, baby?" i heard my mom call. "are you alright?"

"yeah-" i managed to get out in a raspy voice before breaking out in a violent coughing fit. my hands clawed at my throat as i stumbled into the restroom, turning on the shower head to mask my actions before barely kneeling down besides the toilet, just in time to empty out the contents of my stomach. i shut my eyes and cried as nothing but blood and acid came up, ultimately hurting my raw throat.

i gasped and fell against the bathroom wall, allowing my chest to heave in pain with each breath. all of this used to scare me, but ever since i discovered that purging was a fast method of losing weight, i went along with the tortuous pain. and since my throat was sore and raw from having two fingers lodged down it, eating was out of the question, which quite frankly, was good for me.

this cycle of pain started out about an year, when i used to have excellent grades and ambition of becoming a hero. but now, all i am is izuku midoriya, a sad, strange guy, who most likely inherited all might's quirk out of pity. i used to be able to run pretty decently, but now i can barely do anything for more than five minutes before fainting, and don't even get me started on barely using all for one and being on the verge of death each time.

my grades went to hell, nothing but failed papers and exams. every now and then my friends uraraka and iida would try to help me catch up with late assignments, but we don't talk as well as before. they knew me as one of the happiest kids in school, always laughing it up with everyone in class 1-a, but now i'm completely different.

i snapped out of my thoughts and dragged myself over to my room, but not before glancing in the mirror. the reflection showed a boy with sunken eyes, visible cheekbones and ribs, and thinning hair, but all i saw was fat. i sighed and went back to my room and changed into my uniform. i quickly grabbed my backpack and slipped on my shoes before taking random pain killers and heading to school.

-

just as the bell rang, i walked into class dizzily and stumbled into my seat, laying down my head. "deku?" i opened an eye and tried to make out a worried uraraka through blurry, doubled vision. i slurred my words a bit as i replied, "hey ura..raka.."

she frowned and patted my back weakly. "you alright there? did you sleep well?" i nodded and smiled tiredly. she shook her head and asked, "are you going today?" i looked at her strangely, trying to remember what she was talking about.

uraraka must've sensed my loss of knowledge as she responded, "deku, are you going to yaorozu's party today? you never hang out with us anymore, so i thought you'd like to join us for a change. and yaororozu was so excited to get to host a party for friends, even if it's because we all passed first semester, but still."" just as i was about to refuse, i looked into her hopeful eyes and took into consideration the fact i hadn't seen them in a while.

"okay."

her eyes lit up and widened in shock, her ever lasting pink cheeks brightening up even more. "wait really?!" i nodded as she yelled, "yay!", which earned strange looks from our other classmates, but uraraka paid no mind to their judgement. she grinned at me and walked back to her seat just as the mr. aizawa walked in and began today's lesson.

i tried to pay attention, but i ended up zoning out and just mindlessly writing down notes about hereos for future reference. before i knew it, iida slid into the seat next to me and gave off his trademark robot arms. "are you ready, partner?"

"no, what are we doing?" he holded up his notebook and said, "i just wanted you to see my hero notes! after seeing you observe different battle styles i thought i'd give it a whirl as well. mind helping me with it?" he exclaimed with a light pat to me back.

i noded and open up my notebook to the hero notes. "hey iida, what time is yaorozu's party at?" he wrote down something about aizwaw and mumbled, "it's at nine, but we should be there at least twenty minutes early so we can help with anything."

"okay," i noded and began showing and explaining him my notes.

-

it's been two hours since i got home from school and all i've been doing is sleeping, but a loud knock from the front door woke me up. i sighed and stood up and opened the door to reveal a hyper uraraka. "deku!" i winced at her loud hyper voice as she grinned and flashed a thumbs up, "ready for the party?"

i groaned and facepalmed. "i completely forgot! let me change real quick and we'll head on over there, 'kay?" she nodded and followed me as i headed into my room and raided my closest. uraraka giggled as she jumped on my bed and asked, "why do you even need to look for an outfit if all you have are fan shirts of all might?"

"because," i replied, "while all might shirts are the best, i can't constantly be wearing the same thing." she held up her hands in defeat. "good point." i quickly grabbed a change of clothes and rushed into the restroom before finishing up.

-

as we neared yaororozu's mansion, i could already tell the party is hectic. we could feel the bass of jiro's my chemical romance playlist. we headed on over to the entrance, as the gate was already opened, and right as we set foot into the house, uraraka dissapeared into the group of girls.

i spotted iida sitting on a couch drinking punch, he spotted me and waved for me to come on over. "midoriya, glad you could make it!" he offered me a full cup of fruit punch. and smiled at me. "want a drink?"

"sure," i laughed as i took the punch from his hands and drank. i sighed and felt relief wash over me as i relaxed right then and there on the couch, even though the extremely sugary, fruity drink burned my throat, triggering me to vomit, but i kept it under control.

after a full hour, i felt a bit more confident and soon enough i spotted denki and kirishima in the kitchen having an eating contest. i walked over to them and said, "hey guys!"they waved at me as i observed the event and asked, "are you guys having a contest?"

denki chuckled and nodded. "i guess you could say that." kirishima drank from a red plastic cup on the counter. we jumped as someone yells over the music, "hey, todoroki and bakugou are having a marshmellow roasting contest!" we walked back into the living room to see coutless blasts exploding from bakugou and endless fire erupting from todoroki. they revealed their perfectly toasted marshmellows as everyone clapped like crazy.

"midoriya," i heard todoroki behind me. he grabbed my wrist and pulled me aside. i averted todoroki's heterochromic eyes. "y-yes, todoroki?" todoroki smiled slightly.

"midoriya, have i ever told you how beautiful you are." i looked at him questioningly, a blush beginning to spread over my cheeks. nonetheless i looked away and hesitantly asked, "...do you really think so...?"

he nodded. "of course." before i knew it todoroki had connected his lips to mine in a kiss. i felt him smile against my face as i kissed right back. a part of me wanted to stop because it felt wrong, but the other side of me with the huge crush on todoroki urged me on.

-

after sitting on the couch with todoroki and talking about our quirks and whatnot, i stood up and walked into a restroom before kneeling down and shoving two fingers fown my esophagus. everything i drank came up and didn't stop, but i couldn't care less. i cried and shut my eyes waiting for the bile to stop coming up, but it never did, and soon blood quickly followed up.

eventually i stopped vomiting and gasped out for breath. i dragged my body into the bathtub and panted. i could feel the music slowly die down as i let the cool feel of the bathtub drift me into a deep sleep.

-

it was as if my mind was awake, but my body refused to get up. i tried to move but it was no use, i was forced to lay there with my eyes closed and to feel my body in immense pain. i ignored it and quickly fell back asleep.

-

while my eyes remain closed, i felt myself being lifted by several arms. i heard voices around me, but it all sounded so blurry. i fell back asleep to the sound of beeping and yelling.

-

when i was finally able to open my eyes, i found myself lying down on a hospital bed in confusion. panic washed over as i ripped out the iv tubes in my arms and stood up. "oh god, no no no..." the beeping grew faster and before i could run out a team of nurses ran into the room. they tried pushing me back onto the bed but i kept on fighting and before i knew i was yelling for help.

the last thing i saw before passing out once more was my mom, all class 1-a students, and all might running into the room, concern sprawled all over their faces. then everything went dark as i felt myself hit the ground with a thud.

-

when i woke up again i didn't panic. i breathed in deeply and spammed the nurse button before she ran in, along with my mom, my friends, and all might trailing behind her.

"oh izuku, you're okay!" my mom yelled out as she enveloped me in a pain endearing hug. she looked at me with tears ans i kissed her forehead. "i'm so sorry."

all might stepped up, his trademark smile faltering greatly. "we're sorry as well, young midoriya. we did not realize you've been going through some trouble lately. " iida chimed in with a sad look, "yes, we're you're friends! you should know we are here to talk for whatever reason." uraraka frowned and just cried without saying a word.

i looked down feeling guilty. "it wasn't your guys fault." my mom announced, "i'm going to call the doctor that you're awake." she left before i could protest that i was fine, but i knew it was no use. class 1-a smiled slightly and announced that they were leaving.

aoyama struck a pose and winked. "don't worry, monsier. i'm confident you'll recover soon enough and regain your sparkle!"

ashido nodded sadly and patted my head. "yeah midoriya, you just focus on recovery, you got this!"

tsuya croaked. "get better soon midoriya."

iida did his classic robot arms. "midoriya, uraraka and i will visit you frequently to keep you company! in the meantime, focus on a well recovery."

uraraka nodded and smiled slightly. "yeah deku, we want you to get better."

ojiro waved at me. "we'll see you soon, alright?" i nodded and grinned slightly.

kirishima and denki asked for a high five, which i agreed to eagerly. "get better soon dude, you don't want bakugou to catch up to you, do you?" bakugou glared at the red head and exclaimed, "what'd you say?!" as sero attempted to calm him down.

hagakure's sleeve waved in the air. "i hope you get better soon!" mineta nodded and whispered in my ear, "i can get you some magazines to help make you feel better." i chuckled nervously. "thanks mineta, but i'm not really into that stuff.",

yaororozu stepped up to me and bowed slightly. "you have my deepest regards, midoriya. i assure you, you'll learn to conquer this obstacle, go plus ultra!" i grinned and nodded.

"yeah, plus ultra."

the doctor walked in and helped me stand up as he explained, "i need you to come with me. visiting time is over." i nodded as class 1-a said, "bye, midoriya! get well!" all might smiled. "see you soon, kid." he ruffled my hair before exiting the room, leaving me alone with the doctor. i followed him to what appeared to be an office. he gestured for me to sit and said, "your mother and i will be discussing for a bit, please wait here."

i sat there fiddling my fingers nervously. my mom was in there, talking about what would happen of my future and health, when i knew that i was fine and didn't need help. i sighed and gritted my teeth. none of this would've happened if i had been more careful.