South Carolina: so it turns out that I had the remote in my hands for the entire time I was looking f-for the reason to stay alive

Hawaii: ya know gay maybe is legal now

Alaska: .. Wanna get married

Hawaii: yeah sure, let's go

Texas: *states intently at New York*

New York: *glares at Massachusetts*

Massachusetts: *scolds Texas*

Ohio: -_-

Pennsylvania: (.-.   )

Vermont: wtf is happening

New York: I CAN STILL PLAY GUITAR BETTER THAN BOTH OF YOU—

Massachusetts: BULLSHIT

Texas: YEAH

Cali: VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!

America: *cuts off wifi*

Spain: *sets up wifi stations in California*

America: WTF SPAIN!?

Spain: HE WAS MY CHILD FIRST—

America: WELL HE'S MY STATE NOW

Maine: Canada lemme join Quebec plz

Canada: okie

Florida: SPAIN TAKE ME TOO!!

America: WHAT?!!

New York: Holland take me back pleaseeeeee-

Netherlands: u mak moni

New York: ye a

Montana: bet

Wyoming: b e t

Idaho: BET

Texas: B E T 

Oregon: *takes Washingtons have and walks away*

Cali: aannnnnnnddd Oregon wins

Ohio: look at this dooood *points at Michigan*

Ohio: ooooooh ohoo, wait till u see dis

Illinois: HAAAAAAAAA OMFG

Indy: he isn't that ba—

Michigan: *roles up sleeves*

NJ: PHILLY

Pennsylvania: for the last time New Jersey.. I. Am. Pennsylvania.

NJ: Who?

Pennsylvania: OMFG

Vermont: I MAKE BETTER MAPLE SYRUP THAN CANADA ADMIT IT!!

New Brunswick: wt f?

Quebec: CANADA IS THE MAPLE GOD

Maine: VERMONT IS STILL BETTER

Ontario: \-_-/

Saskatchewan: likeokIdontreallycare

BONUS

Texas: ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS!!!!

New York: *comes out from woods* IF SHE BREATHES, SHE A THOOOT!!

*epic battle scene*