Alan watched Fiza as she lay there, hardly moving in her sleep, save for the steady rise and fall of her chest. He hovered over her, kissing her gently on the eyes. "Wake up, princess," he murmured. Fiza opened her eyes, and they widened at the sight of him, her body tensing with fear.

Alan recoiled, startled by her reaction. "It's just me," he whispered, his heart sinking at the sight of her trembling form. Fiza rubbed her eyes and slowly sat up, confusion flickering across her face.

"Can I hold you?" Alan asked tentatively, not wanting to make her uncomfortable but desperately seeking reassurance. Fiza nodded, and he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close.

"I love you, Fiz," he said softly, kissing her lips. To his relief, she kissed him back. "Go get dressed; we are doing a trek today," he told her, pulling her in for another gentle kiss on her cheek. She smiled weakly and limped to the bathroom, soreness evident from his earlier treatment.

As Alan glanced at the sheets, a chill ran down his spine at the sight of bloodstains. Just how rough had he been? Guilt crashed over him, and he uncovered the mattress, intending to wash the sheets.

He walked into the bathroom to find Fiza brushing her teeth. When she noticed what he had in his hands, she fell silent, allowing him the space to process the extent of his actions. Though their encounter had lasted less than a minute, it had left a profound impact on her.

Alan's heart weighed heavy with regret as he looked at her. "I don't think we should be together," he declared, his voice shaky. He had to protect her. What if he lost control again? What if he hurt her once more? He couldn't take that chance.

Fiza was blindsided. His words struck her harder than the events of the previous night. She dropped her toothbrush and slid against the wall, sinking to the floor.

"Fiza, I'm not good for you. I need to protect you from me. And the only way I can do that is by letting you go," he explained, tears streaming down his face. Fiza's eyes were dry, yet the shock was evident. She stared ahead, lost in a haze of disbelief.

"Fiza?" he called, watching her stare blankly. "Fiza!" he repeated, desperate to break through her trance.

"You are breaking up with me?" she asked flatly, not bothering to make eye contact. He nodded slowly. "Okay," she replied, her voice devoid of emotion. She picked up her toothbrush and rinsed it quietly.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur as they went through the motions of getting dressed and having breakfast with the group. Fiza felt like a ghost, while Alan appeared utterly devastated.

Aradya approached him, her expression brightening in contrast to his. "Hey! This trek is supposed to be real fun," she said cheerfully. "I can't believe we're heading back this evening. Back to work tomorrow." Alan forced a smile. "Yes, at least I get to go back to doing surgery now that COVID is better," he responded, trying to keep his tone light. "I'm actually looking forward to it."

"I really hate seeing you like this," she said, lightly touching his arm. "You look devastated." Alan remained silent. "Were you guys in another fight?" she inquired innocently.

"Something like that," he replied vaguely, avoiding the truth. "Well, if you can't fix it, don't hold on to it," she advised, her tone casual. Alan managed a polite smile. He could never share what had truly happened or why he had chosen to end things with Fiza. But talking to her provided a much-needed distraction from the pain and guilt that gnawed at him.

From a distance, Fiza observed their interaction. She felt nothing—just a numbness that settled over her like a heavy fog. She was still in shock, struggling to comprehend the events of the morning.

Just hours ago, Alan had whispered that he loved her. He had kissed her, held her close, and now, out of nowhere, he was telling her they needed to break up. This couldn't be the end. But she wouldn't beg him to take her back; she deserved more respect than that.

As they began the trek, Fiza walked ahead, her mind consumed with thoughts and emotions. She didn't want to show her pain, but it was so hard to keep it all in. The beauty of the rainforest was lost on her that day; her heart felt as if it were breaking into pieces with every step.

Alan followed closely behind her, weighed down by regret and guilt. Aradya stayed by his side, but he barely paid attention to her. The reality of having hurt the woman he loved so deeply gnawed at him, and he knew there was no excuse for his actions.

He was devastated at what he had become, at the monster he feared he might be. Letting Fiza go seemed the only way to make it right.

The trek that was supposed to be fun and exciting had transformed into a painful journey for both of them. The physical challenge of walking through the rainforest paled in comparison to the emotional turmoil they were experiencing.

Fiza wanted to tell him that she still loved him, that she forgave him, but she remained silent. He was the one who had discarded her like an old rag, and she couldn't bear to give in to her emotions so easily. As she walked on ahead of the group, she steeled herself against the rising tide of hurt.

When they reached a clearing, Fiza sat down on a rock, tears streaming down her face.

Vivek caught up with her before the rest of the group. Seeing her cry, he knelt beside her, concern etched on his face. "What happened, Fiza? Are you hurt?" he asked gently.

Fiza nodded, unable to trust herself to speak. "Let me get Alan. He can examine you," he suggested, but Fiza shook her head vigorously. She didn't want Alan's pity or concern; he was the source of her pain.

"Fiza, don't worry about Aradya," Vivek said, misunderstanding her tears. "You didn't hear this from me, but Aradya has a reputation. She isn't looking for anything deep. She's just flirting. Her ego got affected when you showed up. It's very obvious to all of us that Alan is crazy about you."

"Thanks," Fiza mumbled, trying to compose herself as the rest of the group reached the clearing. Alan looked at her puffy eyes and quickly looked away, guilt washing over him.

After the trek, they loaded their bags into the car. Since there were seven passengers, Vaishnavi sat on Vivek's lap, and Fiza was expected to sit on Alan's. She looked at him questioningly, unsure of how to feel.

"Come on," he said softly, and she reluctantly climbed onto his lap. Alan wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly, as though afraid to let go. Fiza leaned in against him, seeking some comfort from the man who had hurt her so deeply.

Tired from the hike, one by one, the others began to fall asleep. Soon, it was just Fiza, Siddarth, and Alan left awake. Alan's hand slipped under her shirt, exploring her curves. Fiza gasped in surprise.

"I can't," he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. Fiza didn't know what to make of it, but she let him touch her, allowing herself to feel some connection to him despite everything that had happened.

He kissed the nape of her neck, sending shivers down her spine, and slid his hands down her sides until he reached her thighs. He gently stroked them while kissing her neck.

Fiza turned around to face him, and their lips met in a passionate kiss, filled with raw emotions. He licked her lips, and she parted them, letting him in.

Alan's hands roamed all over her, his fingers light and gentle. She pressed her thighs together and moaned softly in response to the overwhelming sensations.

However, their intimate moment was abruptly interrupted by Siddarth clearing his throat loudly from the driver's seat. Fiza giggled, feeling embarrassment wash over her but also relief.

Alan kissed her hair and embraced her tightly. "I love you, Fiz. Always have, always will," he whispered. Fiza felt her heart ache at his words, torn between the love she still felt for him and the hurt he had caused.

"Then don't ever let me go," she whispered back, her voice trembling with emotion. "I don't want to keep hurting you," he said, holding her as if he never wanted to let her go. "Then don't hurt me. Stay mine," she pleaded.

He continued to hold her close, kissing her neck and shoulders, until they reached her bus stop. He was unable to let her go. He would try harder to be better. He needed her, more than he needed air to breathe.

Reluctantly, Fiza got off the car with her bag, and Alan helped her, still holding her tightly at her waist.

"I love you, princess," he said as she boarded the bus. "I love you too, Alan," she replied, blowing him a kiss through the window.

As the bus pulled away, Fiza felt her insides hurt, as if nothing would ever be the same again. She loved him; there was no doubt about that. But she also knew she needed time to heal and figure things out. "Because I'm broken and you can't fix me," he had said. She wanted to help him heal, but what if he broke her first?

Their journey was far from over, and she had to decide what was best for herself, even if it meant letting go of the man she loved so deeply.

***

"Dr. Fiza," Faisal's voice cut through the empty road, prompting Fiza to turn around. A smile spread across her face at the sight of him. "Hi, Sir!" she greeted warmly, her eyes lighting up with genuine delight.

"We missed you at the hospital the last few days," he remarked, matching her stride as they walked toward the hostel.

Fiza nodded, her expression a blend of explanation and eagerness. "I went to Agumbe with some friends," she clarified.

"One of my friends was at Agumbe too. Siddarth," Faisal revealed.

Fiza's delight grew. "Oh, Siddarth is Alan's roommate!" she exclaimed, her tone alive with enthusiasm. "How do you know him?"

"He was my intern here last year. And a good friend," Faisal explained, a hint of fondness in his voice.

Fiza's agreement came readily, her appreciation for Siddarth's character evident.

"So you're going to be with me for the next couple of months?" Faisal asked, a warm smile gracing his features.

Fiza's brow furrowed with curiosity. "What do you mean, sir?" she inquired.

"I'm going to supervise you for NICU and wards," he clarified, his words eliciting genuine excitement from Fiza.

"That's awesome! I love working with you," she responded with enthusiastic sincerity, her admiration for him apparent.

Faisal's expression shifted, and a touch of concern entered his gaze. "How are things with your fiancé, Alan?" he inquired, his tone gentle but probing.

Fiza's surprise at his memory was fleeting as her face momentarily fell. The recent events weighed heavily on her mind—Alan's intentional hurt, his attempt to break up, the incident in the car. She shook her head, caught between her emotions and the need to figure things out.

Faisal's hand lightly touched her arm, his concern evident. "What is it? Are you guys still together?" he gently asked, as though understanding her somehow.

Her eyes welled with tears, and she struggled to contain them.

"Did something happen on your trip?" Faisal probed further, his voice exuding empathy. He had connected the dots, realizing that Fiza had traveled to Agumbe with Alan, Siddarth, and others.

Taking her bag from her, he offered support. "Let's go to the cafeteria and talk," he suggested, leading her gently toward the cafeteria.

Fiza wiped her eyes, her emotions still lingering as she looked at Faisal. "There is nothing really to talk about," she managed to say, her voice tinged with sadness. "We've been fighting recently." They continued their walk in a somber silence, Faisal having taken her bag from her, carrying both her burden and the weight of her feelings.

After collecting their dinners, they settled into their seats opposite each other in the cafeteria. Fiza found herself wrestling with her emotions as they waited for the conversation to unfold.

"How did you guys meet?" Faisal inquired curiously, trying to bridge the gap of silence. Fiza's eyes held a distant gaze as she recalled their shared history.

"Medical college. We were best friends, but I think we may have always been more than that," she revealed, her words laced with a bittersweet nostalgia. The memories from their college days seemed distant and dreamlike now in contrast to the present turmoil.

"If you don't mind me asking, Alan is Christian, right?" Faisal sought to understand more about their dynamic. Fiza nodded, taking a bite of her aloo paratha as she contemplated her response.

"And your parents were okay with it?" Faisal's curiosity was palpable, his questions delving into the complexities of their relationship.

Fiza chuckled, her laughter accompanied by a playful pat on Faisal's forearm. "Are you judging my family?" she teased, a small smile tugging at her lips.

Faisal returned the smile, his gaze warm. "No. I had a girlfriend a long time ago. I wanted to marry her. But my parents found out, and they went ballistic!" he reminisced, his expression a mixture of amusement and exasperation.

"Do you still love her?" Fiza's empathetic question hung in the air, an unspoken understanding passing between them. She couldn't fathom the emotions that came with ending a relationship, especially with someone you loved so deeply.

Faisal's gaze held hers, his eyes intense and full of unspoken stories. "I did for the longest time. But then I met someone who gave me hope. That I could love again," he confesse.

Fiza's heart raced, her own emotions stirred by his words. Could he possibly mean her? She quickly dismissed the thought as conceited and far-fetched, but the subtle blush on her cheeks gave her away.

Looking up, Fiza locked eyes with Faisal, her sincerity evident in her gaze. "She would be lucky to have you, sir," she offered softly, her words carrying a depth of meaning that lingered in the air.

Faisal held her gaze, the moment between them stretching into something profound before she glanced away, her heart racing.

**********************************************

Author's note

Is it worse to stay in a relationship out of the obligation of commitment when you no longer feel anything? Or is it worse to change your mind and move on with no thoughts to the commitment you made?

Please vote and comment!

💜Faiza