Authors note:
Trigger warning covid-19

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As they made their way back to Fiza's hostel,
Fiza didn't want to say goodbye. "When will you come to see me again?" she asked him, feeling a knot in her stomach. He still had his bike, while she would need to take a bus to visit him.

He gently cradled her face in his hand, trying to reassure her. "I'll come whenever I have a day off, okay?" he promised. He missed her every minute of every day. He had to meet her more, he felt like his life was incomplete without her presence.

Fiza shook her head, feeling the weight of the distance between them. "What's the point if I'm not free too?" she said, her eyes searching his for a solution. "I wish we could live together somewhere in between and just commute to work every day." She yearned for a way for them to be together.

Alan's heart swelled with love for her, captivated by the idea of building a life together. He imagined coming home to her, lying in her arms every night, and it brought a smile to his face. "Soon enough, Fiza. These three years will go by quickly," he reassured her, trying to offer comfort and hope.

As Fiza watched him leave on his bike, a mixture of sadness and hope filled her heart. She knew that their love would be tested, but she had faith that it was strong enough to withstand the distance.

The promise of meeting again was their guiding light amidst the challenges they faced. Alan managed to visit Fiza a couple more times before their world was forever altered.

One day on their nightly calls, Fiza told Alan, "Something is happening in China. There is this new virus, SARS-2, and it's spreading rampantly and killing faster than SARS-1." She read the news with concern etched on her face.

Alan tried to reassure her, "Hopefully, it will stay contained in East Asia like last time. Don't worry about it."

But as days turned into weeks and the news of the virus became more alarming, they both realized that it was no longer an isolated issue.

The COVID-19 pandemic began to sweep across the globe, and their lives were about to be changed in ways they never imagined.

As the virus began to spread rapidly across borders, countries implemented strict measures to curb its transmission. Lockdowns, travel restrictions, and quarantine protocols became the new normal. Fiza's hospital in Mangalore was not exempt from the impact. They had to brace themselves for the potential influx of patients and adjust to the new safety protocols.

Fiza and Alan's world quickly changed. Their plans of visiting each other were put on hold indefinitely. With travel restrictions in place, they couldn't risk putting themselves or others in danger. Their long-awaited reunions were now postponed indefinitely, and they were left to navigate the challenges of the pandemic apart.

"It's all hands on deck," said Dr. Sundari, the pediatric HOD. "They are now calling it COVID-19 virus, but's a variation of the original SARS. We are not seeing many children with the infection. But our medicine wards and ICU are full. We have to help out."

It was something they had never imagined would happen. The roads were empty, and medical students were sent home.

It was just the consultants, PGs, interns, and nursing staff working tirelessly to combat the crisis. They had to keep up with the latest news and adapt to new treatment protocols.

"It's getting hot," Fiza remarked as she adjusted her N95 mask and protective gown. The hospital in Mangalore was not air-conditioned, except for the ICU. The personal protective equipment added to the heat, stress, and overall sense of foreboding in the hospital.

They were witnessing more death than they had ever thought possible. Families were being separated due to isolation protocols, adding to the heartache and suffering. Fiza couldn't help but worry about her own family in Kerala and Alan, who was exposed to the same risks as she was.

One day, overwhelmed with emotions, Fiza had taken off her protective gear and found herself crying. Faisal, her senior PG, noticed her distress and approached her. "No crying in the hospital," he said, trying to be strong for their patients.

"Come with me," he suggested, leading her to a supply closet. Inside, he removed his gown before sitting on the window sill.

Fiza leaned against the wall, surprised by the vulnerability she saw in Faisal's eyes. He was breaking down too.

"I never thought I would see something like this. So helpless," he said, tears streaming down his face, dampening his mask. He took it off momentarily, but Fiza gently urged him to put it back on for safety. "We are not doing anything, Fiza. They are just coming here to die. Alone," he expressed with a sense of hopelessness.

Fiza moved closer to him, and he instinctively put his arm around her. Alan had been the only one who had held her like this before, she thought fleetingly. Resting her head on Faisal's shoulder, they sat in shared silence, finding comfort in each other's presence amidst the chaos and suffering.

After a few minutes, Faisal wiped his eyes and said, "They need us." His words were a reminder of their purpose and the responsibility they carried as healthcare professionals during this critical time. They gathered their strength, put their protective gear back on, and returned to their duties, ready to face the challenges ahead with unwavering determination.

As the pandemic intensified, Alan found himself facing similar challenging conditions at his hospital. Non-emergency surgeries were canceled, and he was pulled into the general ward to assist with COVID cases. The workload was overwhelming, and the constant exposure to the virus added to the stress and anxiety he felt.

Amidst the chaos, Alan couldn't help but notice the attention he received from some of the girls he worked with. He had always been effortlessly popular thanks to his good looks, guitar playing and basketball skills. However, having been joined at the hip with Fiza in Medical College, few girls had dared to openly flirt with him. Now, flirtatious encounters were not uncommon, but he knew better than to seek further closeness with any of them. However, one intern, Aradya, was particularly determined to befriend him and often sought him out.

One day, as they worked together in the medicine wards, Aradya looked into his eyes with a pleading expression. "Alan Sir, tell me this will get over, and we'll be alive at the end of this?" she asked, her vulnerability shining through.

Alan's heart went out to her and all the others struggling with fear and uncertainty.

With a reassuring smile, he nodded, "Yes, Aradya, this too shall pass. We will get through this."

But deep down, he couldn't help but worry about his family, especially his parents, and about Fiza. He longed to be with her, knowing that her presence would bring comfort and strength during these trying times. He missed her. Fiza would know what to say to make him feel better. Or even if she said nothing, just being in her arms would make everything feel alright.

Alan was taken aback by Aradya's sudden embrace, but he instinctively wrapped his arms around her, offering comfort and support. Her tears dampened his shoulder, and he couldn't help but feel a pang of empathy for the young intern who, like many others, was facing the overwhelming burden of the pandemic.

Pressing his lips gently on the crown of her head, Alan tried to convey a sense of reassurance and compassion. However, the protective mask that separated them prevented any actual contact. As she pulled away, he noticed a significant change in her demeanor.

The usual playfulness and flirtatiousness that he had observed in her were replaced by genuine vulnerability and raw emotion.

Aradya looked into his eyes, her own filled with sadness and fear. "I'm sorry," she whispered, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "It's just all so overwhelming, and I don't know how to handle it sometimes."

"It's okay," Alan replied softly, his voice filled with empathy. "These are difficult times, and it's normal to feel overwhelmed. We're all in this together, and we'll support each other through it."

Aradya nodded, her expression grateful for his understanding. The barrier between them seemed to dissolve, and they connected as human beings navigating the same storm.

Alan realized that even though he couldn't be with Fiza physically, he could still offer his presence and compassion to those around him.

As they continued their work in the hospital, Alan and Aradya developed a newfound camaraderie and mutual support. They leaned on each other during the long and exhausting days, finding strength in their shared experiences.

That night, Alan called Fiza with a heavy heart, "Fiza, I wish you were here. I wish you were with me."

"Me too, Alan, so much. I am so scared. I love you. I just... I just want to quit and come stay with you," she said forcefully.

In that moment, Alan felt like there was nothing he would want more than to have her by his side. Helplessly watching people die and being the one having to break the news to their loved ones, bearing their grief, was eating at him. It made him worry about Fiza, the thought of losing her was unfathomable. "Come, Fiza," he urged.

Fiza was silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts. "You are supposed to tell me to hang in there and not quit," she said after a span of silence.

Alan felt irritated, his nerves on edge from everything going on around them. "You said you wanted to quit. Then, quit. Come, be with me," he said, not thinking things through in the heat of the moment.

"How can you ask me to do that?" asked Fiza, her voice laced with shock. She couldn't comprehend why Alan was being so callous. Weren't they both driven by ambition? Hadn't they both toiled tirelessly to reach where they were?

"Fiza, if you're trying to pick a fight with me, I'm hanging up. I'm just not in the mood," Alan's words cut through the tension, his emotions getting the best of him.

"Fine!" she retorted angrily, and Alan abruptly ended the call. Overwhelmed by a storm of emotions, Fiza impulsively threw her pillow against the wall in frustration. She had hoped for comfort and understanding from Alan, yet their conversation had only led to discord.

Alan, his breaths coming in rapid bursts, felt a pang of guilt for his harsh response. What did Fiza expect from him? Weren't they both navigating the same challenges? Couldn't she see that he was struggling too?

Just as his mind swirled with conflicting thoughts, his phone buzzed once more. Assuming it was Fiza, he glanced at it hastily, only to find a message from Aradya. "Care for a stroll?" she had inquired. Glancing at the time—10:30 pm—Alan hesitated.

"Don't you have a curfew?" he questioned, a flicker of uncertainty clouding his thoughts.

"I'll just tell them I had night duty," Aradya replied, seemingly unfazed by the late hour.

Alan wrestled with conflicting emotions. He knew it wasn't wise to go for a stroll with Aradya, especially after the argument with Fiza. However, the temptation to seek solace from the chaos and stress was a powerful allure.

In silence, Alan walked with Aradya through the vast expanse of the university hospital campus. His mind wandered, considering how much easier it would be if Fiza could visit. The streets of Mangalore couldn't compare to the comfort of their shared space.

"Alan, Sir, thank you for your help today," Aradya expressed her gratitude, breaking the silence. "It's been a while since things felt normal."

Alan nodded in understanding, feeling a sense of camaraderie with her. In a sudden, impulsive gesture, Aradya stood on her toes and planted a kiss on his cheek.

The unexpected action sent Alan's heart racing. "Easy there, friend," he chuckled, his smile masking the tumult of emotions within him.

Aradya playfully punched his arm, their interaction laced with a hint of light-heartedness.

As Alan settled into bed that night, he found himself unable to shake the memory of Aradya's kiss. While the attention from the hospital staff was not uncommon, he hadn't anticipated such a gesture from Aradya.

His thoughts inevitably circled back to Fiza, and a wave of guilt washed over him. He harbored deep affection for her, and he knew she too was grappling with the uncertainties brought on by the pandemic. However, the growing distance between them, coupled with the strains of their demanding professions, had begun to erode their connection. Their frequent arguments and his avoidance of calling her on hectic days only added to the growing chasm between them.

As sleep embraced him, a faint smile lingered on his lips, and for the first time in years, it wasn't Fiza who occupied his thoughts.

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Authors note

Sorry, I had to mention covid because it is essential to the story. I know it may be too soon for some and we are really just trying to forget.

Please vote if you like the chapter and share your thoughts

Linked the song "When I look at you" - Miley Cyrus because it reminds me of how when our world crashes around us, we look at the person we love for strength.

"When my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I look at you"

- Faiza