"Aren't you going to eat, Soomi?" I ask as I sit down beside her bed. She lay down weakly on the bed, looking at me without blinking her eyes since I come. She is so quite to the point I want to shake her, to wake her up, in case she is zoning out. She used to be sweet girl, talk gracefully in front of me, but she just turning off her emotion now.

I had meeting with Yoongi Hyung about the song he made for the singer under my company's name, that's when he sighs more than 10 times in a minute. I was casually asking him what had happened, he hesitantly telling me that Soomi is sick. He said she was act off like this since the day I left her in the middle of picnic for Lisa. She is not coming out from the room Jennie arrange for her in their house, not even wanting to feed herself with things make him not sure what to do. To ask me to come immediately will be his dilemma since I know he is happy with my relationship with Lisa now.

The first time I show off in front of their house, Jennie was frowning on her face, and then dragging Yoongi Hyung to their room, I can hear she yelled at him. She must have been angry to make me come to see Soomi.

"Come on don't do this to yourself." I tell her but she stays still. "Don't torture yourself like this. We will have solution for the problem." I assure her looking to her eyes, trying to make her think it again. She is better now; she looks calmer than 4 years ago. She did rehabilitation and I can't be prouder than this.

"Don't act like you care." She answered shortly, coldly as the dark smile come toward her face. It pretty creepy but I can say it was because she is under pressure. Just in the case Yoongi hyung told me that their parents starting their divorcement process.

"I do care to you."

"What am I for you that you care of pathetic psycho like me."

"You are a friend. You tell me that." I told her, I still remember the day she wakes up from her comatose, she looks at me, scared. I bet she was afraid I will blame her for everything that happen but no. I was just smiling at her, genuinely. I know what makes her be like that, it was me, it's me, and it will always because of me. She apologizes to me, confessing everything and then asking me to be her friend. And I agree.

"Friend won't leave me among the stranger." She said while snorting now sitting facing me, that's when I saw how tiny her figure turns to be, too skinny and pale. I sigh desperately at how she looks, how can I let her live without me. She will let herself die.

"Hyung is not stranger, he is your brother."

"Brother won't leave me for his lover." She raised her voice as she stands up, looking around I make it sure that she can't use nothing dangerous to hurt both of us.

"Can't you realize for how long he had been alone just to protect you? He just wanted to be happy Soomi. Please understand him. He can't become your shield forever."

"Is that why you left me for your lover? I can't make you happy while she can?" she pointed her finger to my face, she never did this kind of thing before, but I know, she is change now. For some reason I feel relieved that she finally can show me her true emotions.

"We won't talk about this again. Just eat now."

"You never talk to me harshly like this, just because of her."

"Min Jisoo."

"Just let me die so you can live with her. Go away from here, you also don't want me like my parents do. Go." She then shouting at me while pushing myself to the door, I just let her drag me to the living room to face Yoongi Hyung ready for every possibility to be happen, and on another side, angry Jennie just watching us full of warn.

"What a good life I have in here. My one and only lover just not wanting me anymore, my one and only brother just throwing me away for his lover, she hates me, mom hates me, dad hates me, everyone hates me, even the dog in this house hates me. Is there anything left for me?" I clenched my jaw as I hear her cry. I wanted to hug her, but I promised barbie, no one will allow to touch me. No one.

"I love you, Jungkook." She then collapses to the ground, sitting while hugging her knees, crying. "Why don't you just love me tenderly?" for some reasons she reminds me of myself, I wanted to tell her to not give up just like what I do all this time waiting for Lisa to love me back. But I can't tell her that, she should move on. I won't ever love her; I didn't ever love her.

Everything I did all this time just only because a needed in me, that I always be so proud when someone need me, constantly want to save her. I was also confused, if the thing I had for Soomi was love or just a pity. I just found out when I met Lisa, everything just like the first time with Lisa. She can make my world upside down in a minute, she is the reason of my happiness and sadness. The feeling I had for her is not the same with what I had for Lisa.

"Love me gently, please."

"Please understand, Soomi." I told her now following her sitting on the floor, caressing her hair I make her face facing me. "You deserve better. You deserve someone who will love you equally." But she shakes her head, holding both of my hand she then planting the kisses on it.

"No, I want you. Only you. That's okay if you only pitying me just like before, it's okay if you don't love me. Just please stay. Just please don't leave me." I feel bad for her, she didn't have to do this, she doesn't have to asking someone like this, she deserve more than this. But it's not from me. My heart aches as I hear her words, that was the exact words I would say if I didn't make up with Lisa. I must have been the one who will ask for Lisa's pity to stay for me.

"I am sorry, Soomi."

"There is nothing left huh." She then laughs dryly while let my hands go. "You will be going to leave. You will still leave even after I kneel down on my knees." I bit my lips try to hold back my own tears.

Sometimes I wonder how she never change, she used to be babying by Sewon. Sewon was showering her with caring and loves make her be so greedy. And then when she left, I replaced Sewon, taking care of her, protecting her, that's when I should have let her learn to let go of someone, of something. That there will be something will last. There will be the day they will leave us.

--

As I drive myself home, I was checking my phone, as usual, no text, so typical of careless girlfriend she could be huh. So, I open my Instagram, and stumble on Yeri's Instagram story update. So, I click on it, she is recording a video inside the house, probably bragging to her friend about how rich she is. She is chewing jelly while strolling around the house, walking to where my barbie room is.

"Knock...knock..." she then making the knock sound with her mouth, adding aegyo in it. "Unnie can I come in?" she asked while opening the door but not showing the inside of my barbie's room.

There are soft voices come as the respond, but I can't hear it properly. "What? Why are you packing your luggage? Where will you go?"

I am freeze on my spot, instantly pulling the car to the side of the road. I need to make sure something. I look at the phone again, but Yeri keep on standing between the doors. "Did grandpa give you permission for leaving?" the answer just come but I can't hear it.

"What about Jungkook oppa? You will leave him?"

No.

--

"Oppa."

"huh?"

"Will you tell me what had happened between two?"

"Nothing. I am so tired; will we sleep now?"

~

"Oppa, is there anything you hide from me?"

"Nothing. Let's just sleep Jennie-yah."

"Then why did it feel so familiar."

"About what?"

"She is crying in front of Jungkook. Asking him to stay."

"No, it just your imagination."

~

"Oppa."

"Huh?"

"I love you."

"I love you more, wife."

"But I will never forgive you if you lie to me. Do you know that?"

"Yeah."

Every night I always afraid, every night I always pray, that she will stop asking to me, that she will never remember all the sins and lie I had done. Jennie-yah, can you forget everything behind forever?

"Oppa"

"What?"

"I think, I remember something."

"What is that?"

"Lisa...... She was in so much pain."