"You catch it." As the silence enveloping our awkward dance he then choose to break it, I look up at his brown eyes as I found that gorgeous smile of his. I smile back at him as I nodded my head.

"Jisoo unnie tell me to do that, so she will give this dress for me." I tell him earning a chuckled from him, his adam apple goes up and down and his eye side wrinkle as he laughs lightly. I know it must be silly of me to even agree with Jisoo unnie. But I really like this dress.

"You really like the dress huh?" I nodded eagerly as he touch the top of my head softly. "But you sure really looks good in it." I know my cheeks probably entertaining him with a crimson red as he chuckled again hiding his grin. "I thought that you are the real bride."

As I heard his last sentences my heart dropped to the ground, it's not going to be like that. He gripped my hips tighter as I saw his face frowning watching my sudden change of expression.

"Are you good?" he ask worriedly as I am faking a small smile while shaking my head trying to get rid of the sorrow. "Lisa." I take both of my hand off of his shoulder, hiding my face with my hand he then touch it. Warm. He is so warm. How ironic it is, how I turn to be cold as hell while he turn to be warm.

"I am okay. I only need to...to..." I've tried so hard, too hard to run away from him.Too hard to make Jinny's wish to be true, to not even fight for the one who don't even try to fight for me. To fight for my feeling, I hate this. I really hate to see how Jungkook fooling himself as he kneeling down for the one he loved. But that girl fight for him, she fight and even not think twice to kill someone else.

"Barbie."

"I am not barbie, Jungkook." I tell him angrily, me myself even shocked when I heard my own voice as I said that to him. He froze on his spot, watching me with his widened eyes. "Sorry." I tell him again bowing to him as I step back giving space between both of us. We need space indeed, I am still not ready for this closeness. I could be crazy in anytime if I keep sticking around with him.

As I saw him this morning I tell myself to act normal, as if nothing sad ever happen to us. I smile back at him when he flashes me the favorite smile he had. I am trying my hard to be an obedient bridesmaid and earning compliment from both Jisoo and Jennie unnie. I just wanna be happy today, I don't want to ruin Jimin oppa and Rose's wedding.

"I need fresh air." I tell him before I walk away confuse of what I feel. Walk fast I reach the room where I use to do my make up this morning, fortunately there is no one inside, closing the door I run to the bed and then burying my face on it.

You are so stupid, Lisa. You've trying everything for the pass 4 years, and almost surrender in an hour talking with him. What do you expect yourself to do? You already promise your mother to come home next week, and now you are here, willingly trapping your heart again. As I curse my self I heard someone opening the door, approaching me as I feel the bed moved a little by the addition weight on my left.

"Lisa, are you okay?"

"Not now Jungkook." I tell him, no need to watch over the face to tell that it's him. By hearing his breath I already know it was him. "Please, leave." I plea.

"But how can I leave you in this state."

"That's why I want you to leave." I tell him softly, half sobbing. "I don't want you to see me this way." Long silence between us, but he insist to stay.

"Are you feeling the same as mine now?" curious I look at him, take a peek of a smiley him while blinking at me. "I wonder if you feel something in here too." He then pointing at his own stomach. "The butterflies. The flutters." Then he took the hand of mine and make me sat beside him.

"Hand shaking." And then placing my hand on his cheeks. "Cheeks flushing." Lastly bring it to his chest. Feeling the beat of his heart make me look at him sadly. Me too. My hand is shaking, I am sure he can feel it too. The flush on my cheeks, I can tell he can sees that clearly as he ask me to dance with him lately.

"Be careful." straightly looking at his beautiful dark brown orbs I tell him. "That butterflies can be wasps. Your flutter feeling on your stomach, your hand shakes and your cheeks flush, sometime it's not something you called love." Slowly the sweet smile which is plastering his face from the morning faded as he heard my words.

"It's pain."

"It's really hard for me." Still looking at each other eyes he spoke to me, emotionless, gripping my hands tighter. "To make you love me. Why can't you love me?" It did break my heart as I heard the frustration voices as he ask me that question, the sadness clearly showed in his eyes. I hate to break his heart, again and again. Because when I break his, I break mine too.

"Please love me."

--

"Please love me." I know I should be ashamed to ask her for this, but I am madly in love with her. The fuck with dignity, if this is what I need to make she smile at me again, if this way I can have my barbie back, I will do it, everyday.

"I am sorry." She said softly.

"I love you." I insist can't take her rejection. No barbie, please don't hurt me this way? I know I've hurt you so much, I will pay that. I will make you happy. "Forgive me." But she never responded.

Why am I in love alone?

Why am I hurting alone?

--

"Let me hug you." I heard some noises when I wake up from my long nap, I walk down stair as I look at the view. Jungkook, Yeri and Suji sat on the couch in front of the TV. They watch spongebob, as Suji was sitting on Jungkook's lap and Yeri asking Suji to play with her.

"No." The little girl looked away and then hug Jungkook. "I don't want to play with you."

"Why are you hating me this much?" Yeri got irritate and motioning to touch Jungkook's arm to irritate the little girl.

"Don't touch Kookie oppa!" she said angrily as she beat Yeri's hand.

"He is my oppa." Yeri being stubborn talking back to the little girl.

"Girls seriously." He then said impatiently watching the tv, stay still. Still watching over Suji, Yeri irritate make the gesture of cutting her own neck. I smile at the older girl, cant she act like her age? I was about to leave to the kitchen when suddenly the little one crying.

"Oppa, she beat me." Said her while pointing at her own arm. Wait, did she lie? Worriedly Jungkook is taking her hand and inspect it then watching Yeri angrily. He is about to scold her as I approach them.

"That's not good." I talk shortly make the three of them confuse. "Lying is not good, Suji." Sternly I look straightly at the little girl when the girl immediately hiding her face on Jungkook's chest. "Said sorry to Yeri unnie!" I command boldly.

"Lisa."

"You don't have to act that way to have your oppa by yourself only." I mentally trying to take my patient level to the higher place as his anger face watching me.

"Lisa stop." He said as I try to make the little girl facing me, yank my hand then I face him. "She is just 3 years old if you are aware." He scold me. Okay Jungkook, wrong move. I chuckled sarcastically as his remark.

"Sure, she is still 3 when she did this." I smirk on how naive he could be. Holding the little girl tightly he still look at me angrily. "What did you expected her to be? The 20 years old woman holding big sharp knife stabbing Yeri?" being speechless as the color of his face turn pale he look at me softer.

"You don't need another Mochi." I said that bravely as my own heart pounding hard as the memories replaying on my head. Slowly I approach him and softly taking the little girl off of him, she is still crying silently as I bring her to my own lap.

"Suji, look at me." I ask her, hesitantly she look up seeing the soft me smiling at her, and she seems more comfortable now. "I am sorry." I tell her before she finally hug me tightly.

"I am sorry barbie. I won't do that again. I won't lie anymore." I tapped her head as I saw Yeri smile and got close to us.

"Well, do you have something to tell to Yeri unnie?" I ask her softly and then she turn her face to face Yeri who's now sitting in front of us. Taking her hand then Suji shakes their hand together.

"Unnie I am sorry. Let's play together from today." I smile at how this girls hug each other.

"Ice cream?" I laugh immediately as I saw their face lighten up with happiness. I can't stop checking on him when we were playing. The girls had their good time as I saw him leaving the living room and then entering his room. I feel bad to talk like that to him. It's not his mistake but I simply throwing tantrum and make it looks like I blame him for everything.

Sighing then I excuse my self to the child as I approach his room. Knocking at the door patiently I wait him to open the door. Once I saw his face when he open the door I apologize immediately.

"Sorry Jungkook." I tell him genuinely. "I don't mean to hurt you. I didn't blame you." I look at his face, he bit his lower lips as he think, and then I sighed in relief when he nodded. He is about to close the door as we go silence, not before I hold the door knob not letting him closing the door. Questioning me with her eyes I flash a smile to him.

"Ice cream?" he blinks on me for several time as he try to process what I offer to him. But that's not enough, I want to see my favorite bunny smile.

Praying to not make any stupid word which will hurt him again, I then spell that old magic word earning the smile I've missed the most.

"Kookie."