I assumed that I wasn't self confident it's just that I have too much critical awareness. I'm actually aware of every mistake I make, and set a high bar for my own behavior. I could spend an entire month beating myself up about a mistake that wouldn't even register if someone else made it. Honestly thanks to my overactive imagination, I assume that others are judging me just as harshly as I'm judging my dumb self. The faults I see are not imagined, but my perception of them often gets exaggerated, sometimes to absurdity. I don't like that I do it, and it seems dangerous like taken to extremes, there's a risk that high self awareness could turn into crippling self loathing and doubt (which do happen a lot). I haven't found an answer to this problem yet but one day I will!