So it happens again
As red drips down my stomach, down my thumb, down my legs
I try not to look at myself
I try not to notice the blood starting to clot as time passes on
I just try to stop thinking
To stop thinking that I deserve this
That the pills have thus proven not effective and I may need a more effective prescription
That the amount of pills I could take is just waiting by my bed just in case it is time for death
I try not to remember the events of the day, how my mother came in my room screaming and throwing my stuff at me, how she brought a car when we already have a loan we are going to struggle to pay back, how mad my dad is going to get when he gets home because my mom brought a car without his knowing, how much screaming has already happened today and how much more is going to go down, how my brother now try's to prepare for the marines and if he gets in will learn how to kill someone, how much fear I live in on a day to day basis
Sometimes it'd be better if blood didn't clot
But for now that's now the case it's time to clean off the blood and my tears
Try to keep a level head
Reassemble my pencil sharpener
And move on with the day because I don't have time to deal with myself